Translated by KaiesV
Edited by KaiesV
I am used to being alone.
But being alone is boring.
The food doesn’t taste good, and because it doesn’t taste good, I can’t think of anything decent to cook.
I exhale a small breath, alone in the common space.
Retort curry and cup noodles.
I have cooked rice, but eating curry makes washing dishes a hassle.
「I’ll just have a cup noodle.」
I took one of the cup noodles I had bought and put it on the table. I boil water with the electric kettle that Sendai-san and I went to buy.
After college, Maika and Asakura-san disappeared to their part-time jobs. When I returned home, Sendai-san was not there and would not be back anytime soon. What I have is the same alone time I had in high school, and I know how to kill time like this.
I read books, play games.
I can study if I want to.
There are a lot of things I can do on my own.
In fact, that’s how I was killing time until just now.
I take barley tea out of the refrigerator and pour it into a glass. I take a sip, place it on the table, and prepare chopsticks and a black cat chopstick rest.
I wish I wasn’t hungry.
Cup noodles are not something I want to eat.
Such a feeling makes me strongly aware of Sendai-san in me, and makes me strongly believe that she is indispensable to me.
This is not good.
I squeeze my hand and open it.
Drink half a cup of barley tea.
Thinking about her in an empty house like this makes the back of my head hurt. I still can’t bring myself to care about something that used to be unimportant, like food, but is no longer important.
I look at the electric kettle and see that the water is boiling. I peel off the shrink film from the cup noodles and peel off half the lid as well. I pour the hot water into the cup ramen container, set the kitchen timer, and sit down in the chair.
Sendai-san, who should be across to me, is late from her tutoring job, so I can see what I normally can’t. I don’t want to talk to her, but the three-minute wait is long when I am alone.
I stroke my fingernails, which are starting to get long.
I continue to pull the index finger.
I try pulling the middle finger as well.
I squeeze my fingers and exhale.
I look down at the black cat chopstick rest.
I’m thinking that I might miss the always present tortoiseshell cat, when the kitchen timer rings and I eat a cup of noodles.
I don’t think it tastes good.
A meal that only fills the stomach is still boring.
In no time at all, the container of cup noodles was nothing but soup, and after washing up, I returned to my room.
There is really nothing to do when you are alone.
I turn on the light, walk around the room, and sit on the floor with the bed as my back. I have too much free time on my hands, so I apply the lipstick that Sendai-san picked out for me. When I touch my lips, something sticky sticks to my hand. When I licked my fingertips, they tasted different from Sendai-san’s.
I took a piece of tissue from the back of an crocodile.
I tried to wipe my lips and stop.
I picked up a flimsy piece of paper in my hand, rolled it up, and tossed it into the trash can, sighing as it fell in front of me. Picking up the gutless scrap of paper and tossing it in the trash, I take three manga from the bookshelf. Then I caught the crocodile that had been in Sendai-san’s room all along and jumped into bed.
I don’t do well with alone time.
I cannot consume time.
The barley tea in the fridge disappeared easily into my stomach, but alone time doesn’t disappear easily. At any given time, an hour should be sixty minutes, but it can turn into thirty minutes or ninety minutes. Today is the day when an hour becomes ninety minutes, and Sendai-san is not coming home easily.
I understand.
I know that an hour doesn’t become ninety minutes just because she is not here. Today an hour is sixty minutes, and so will tomorrow. Still, it is a long time to wait for someone else. No, the time to wait for someone else is the same.
That’s why, it’s infuriating.
Only Sendai-san can stall or shrink my time.
I smack the crocodile on the head and pull out the tissue.
I roll it up and throw it in the trash, but the white mass doesn’t fly to the trash. Just like before, the paper scraps, which do not have wings to fly, plop down just a few feet away from the bed.
「Gutless.」
I place the crocodile on my stomach and close my eyes.
I don’t feel like going to throw the garbage in the trash.
I toss and turn.
It doesn’t matter that Sendai-san’s part-time job has increased. It doesn’t matter if there is one more student. I just don’t know what to do when I think there may be more in the future.
There will be more people, like students I have never seen, who will monopolize Sendai-san’s time. I am not at all happy to see more people using Sendai-san’s time, which is not mine, no matter how far I go.
I cover myself with the futon and curl up.
Time passes without me being able to doze off, and then I hear two knocks on the door.
「Miyagi.」
A pleasant voice calls me.
But I don’t want to get out of the futon.
「Are you not there?」
Of course I am here.
How can I not be here?
「Miyagi, I’ll open this, okay?」
Saying this, she doesn’t open the door.
Sendai-san will not come in unless I say yes.
「Have you eaten dinner?」
She asks again from outside the door.
The well behaved Sendai-san keeps asking me at the door and I can’t leave her alone. After placing the alligator on the floor and tossing the fallen trash into the trash can, I announced,「Come in,」and the door opened.
「I’ve already eaten.」
When I sat down on the bed to answer, Sendai-san sat down next to me as a matter of course.
「What did you eat?」
「…Cup noodles.」
「Didn’t you say something like that yesterday? You should cook and eat, even if it’s not random.」
「It’s fine. It was just cup noodles.」
「Not good. It’s bad for you. Eat something more decent.」
「I’m alone, and I can’t be bothered to cook.」
「Then wait until I get home. I’ll make you something.」
「Sendai-san comes home late and I’m hungry.」
I’m not such a terrible person as to make Sendai-san, who works part-time, go out of her way to cook dinner for me, and I think she should leave me alone because even a cup of ramen will fill my stomach. Besides, if she care so much about my food, she doesn’t have to work part-time.
「I see.」
Sendai-san says quietly and looks at me intently.
「Miyagi.」
She calls me in a soft voice and smiles at me. I slapped her hand and she said happily,「You put on the lipstick,」to which I replied coldly,「What’s the matter with that?」
「You’re cute.」
Sendai-san only says what she doesn’t want me to say in these situations. I’m so annoyed that she doesn’t get her way that I grab my clothes and pull them on. I press my lips against hers and bite just enough to not hurt her.
「That hurt.」
Sendai-san says deliberately as I pull my face away from her. Then she pulls her lips together as if it were a rule to do so, and she push my body closer.
「Do it one more time.」
Closing the distance between us, Sendai-san whispers to me.
「I don’t want to.」
「Stingy.」
As if to deny the words heard, I kick Sendai-san in the leg.
What I want to hear from her is neither the word “cute” nor these lines.
「…In Sunday.」
I blurt out and kick her foot again.
「Sunday?」
「You don’t have a part-time job on that day, do you?」
As I ask the question, I regret asking it.
「I have none.」
Touching Sendai-san’s blue earrings.
My regret does not disappear.
Still, the words I wanted to swallow come out.
「…I’ll go somewhere with you.」
I blurted out and looked at Sendai-san, who looked like she was about to say,「Where?」I kissed her lips.
Translated by KaiesV
Edited by KaiesV
I am used to being alone.
But being alone is boring.
The food doesn’t taste good, and because it doesn’t taste good, I can’t think of anything decent to cook.
I exhale a small breath, alone in the common space.
Retort curry and cup noodles.
I have cooked rice, but eating curry makes washing dishes a hassle.
「I’ll just have a cup noodle.」
I took one of the cup noodles I had bought and put it on the table. I boil water with the electric kettle that Sendai-san and I went to buy.
After college, Maika and Asakura-san disappeared to their part-time jobs. When I returned home, Sendai-san was not there and would not be back anytime soon. What I have is the same alone time I had in high school, and I know how to kill time like this.
I read books, play games.
I can study if I want to.
There are a lot of things I can do on my own.
In fact, that’s how I was killing time until just now.
I take barley tea out of the refrigerator and pour it into a glass. I take a sip, place it on the table, and prepare chopsticks and a black cat chopstick rest.
I wish I wasn’t hungry.
Cup noodles are not something I want to eat.
Such a feeling makes me strongly aware of Sendai-san in me, and makes me strongly believe that she is indispensable to me.
This is not good.
I squeeze my hand and open it.
Drink half a cup of barley tea.
Thinking about her in an empty house like this makes the back of my head hurt. I still can’t bring myself to care about something that used to be unimportant, like food, but is no longer important.
I look at the electric kettle and see that the water is boiling. I peel off the shrink film from the cup noodles and peel off half the lid as well. I pour the hot water into the cup ramen container, set the kitchen timer, and sit down in the chair.
Sendai-san, who should be across to me, is late from her tutoring job, so I can see what I normally can’t. I don’t want to talk to her, but the three-minute wait is long when I am alone.
I stroke my fingernails, which are starting to get long.
I continue to pull the index finger.
I try pulling the middle finger as well.
I squeeze my fingers and exhale.
I look down at the black cat chopstick rest.
I’m thinking that I might miss the always present tortoiseshell cat, when the kitchen timer rings and I eat a cup of noodles.
I don’t think it tastes good.
A meal that only fills the stomach is still boring.
In no time at all, the container of cup noodles was nothing but soup, and after washing up, I returned to my room.
There is really nothing to do when you are alone.
I turn on the light, walk around the room, and sit on the floor with the bed as my back. I have too much free time on my hands, so I apply the lipstick that Sendai-san picked out for me. When I touch my lips, something sticky sticks to my hand. When I licked my fingertips, they tasted different from Sendai-san’s.
I took a piece of tissue from the back of an crocodile.
I tried to wipe my lips and stop.
I picked up a flimsy piece of paper in my hand, rolled it up, and tossed it into the trash can, sighing as it fell in front of me. Picking up the gutless scrap of paper and tossing it in the trash, I take three manga from the bookshelf. Then I caught the crocodile that had been in Sendai-san’s room all along and jumped into bed.
I don’t do well with alone time.
I cannot consume time.
The barley tea in the fridge disappeared easily into my stomach, but alone time doesn’t disappear easily. At any given time, an hour should be sixty minutes, but it can turn into thirty minutes or ninety minutes. Today is the day when an hour becomes ninety minutes, and Sendai-san is not coming home easily.
I understand.
I know that an hour doesn’t become ninety minutes just because she is not here. Today an hour is sixty minutes, and so will tomorrow. Still, it is a long time to wait for someone else. No, the time to wait for someone else is the same.
That’s why, it’s infuriating.
Only Sendai-san can stall or shrink my time.
I smack the crocodile on the head and pull out the tissue.
I roll it up and throw it in the trash, but the white mass doesn’t fly to the trash. Just like before, the paper scraps, which do not have wings to fly, plop down just a few feet away from the bed.
「Gutless.」
I place the crocodile on my stomach and close my eyes.
I don’t feel like going to throw the garbage in the trash.
I toss and turn.
It doesn’t matter that Sendai-san’s part-time job has increased. It doesn’t matter if there is one more student. I just don’t know what to do when I think there may be more in the future.
There will be more people, like students I have never seen, who will monopolize Sendai-san’s time. I am not at all happy to see more people using Sendai-san’s time, which is not mine, no matter how far I go.
I cover myself with the futon and curl up.
Time passes without me being able to doze off, and then I hear two knocks on the door.
「Miyagi.」
A pleasant voice calls me.
But I don’t want to get out of the futon.
「Are you not there?」
Of course I am here.
How can I not be here?
「Miyagi, I’ll open this, okay?」
Saying this, she doesn’t open the door.
Sendai-san will not come in unless I say yes.
「Have you eaten dinner?」
She asks again from outside the door.
The well behaved Sendai-san keeps asking me at the door and I can’t leave her alone. After placing the alligator on the floor and tossing the fallen trash into the trash can, I announced,「Come in,」and the door opened.
「I’ve already eaten.」
When I sat down on the bed to answer, Sendai-san sat down next to me as a matter of course.
「What did you eat?」
「…Cup noodles.」
「Didn’t you say something like that yesterday? You should cook and eat, even if it’s not random.」
「It’s fine. It was just cup noodles.」
「Not good. It’s bad for you. Eat something more decent.」
「I’m alone, and I can’t be bothered to cook.」
「Then wait until I get home. I’ll make you something.」
「Sendai-san comes home late and I’m hungry.」
I’m not such a terrible person as to make Sendai-san, who works part-time, go out of her way to cook dinner for me, and I think she should leave me alone because even a cup of ramen will fill my stomach. Besides, if she care so much about my food, she doesn’t have to work part-time.
「I see.」
Sendai-san says quietly and looks at me intently.
「Miyagi.」
She calls me in a soft voice and smiles at me. I slapped her hand and she said happily,「You put on the lipstick,」to which I replied coldly,「What’s the matter with that?」
「You’re cute.」
Sendai-san only says what she doesn’t want me to say in these situations. I’m so annoyed that she doesn’t get her way that I grab my clothes and pull them on. I press my lips against hers and bite just enough to not hurt her.
「That hurt.」
Sendai-san says deliberately as I pull my face away from her. Then she pulls her lips together as if it were a rule to do so, and she push my body closer.
「Do it one more time.」
Closing the distance between us, Sendai-san whispers to me.
「I don’t want to.」
「Stingy.」
As if to deny the words heard, I kick Sendai-san in the leg.
What I want to hear from her is neither the word “cute” nor these lines.
「…In Sunday.」
I blurt out and kick her foot again.
「Sunday?」
「You don’t have a part-time job on that day, do you?」
As I ask the question, I regret asking it.
「I have none.」
Touching Sendai-san’s blue earrings.
My regret does not disappear.
Still, the words I wanted to swallow come out.
「…I’ll go somewhere with you.」
I blurted out and looked at Sendai-san, who looked like she was about to say,「Where?」I kissed her lips.
