At the end of our joined hands, Sendai-san is noisy.
I’m trying to figure out what to say, but she’s talking so much that I can’t think straight.
Like the story of that tortoiseshell cat that Sendai-san often meets.
Or the not-so-sweet French toast we had for lunch.
The blanks are filled with innocuous stories chosen from a number of topics, my head is filled, and I have nothing to say. All I can do is make small talk.
We get on the train, we get off the train.
The sun loses its power and the sky changes color.
Walking down the cat-free sidewalk, the house approaches.
Sendai-san continues to talk about safe and sound.
It’s not that I have to speak, but when I have nothing to do but to phase, I am concerned about the fact that I have seen a face I didn’t need to know and another student or some other person I have yet to see.
Sendai-san’s voice is not stuck in my head.
All that remains is the feeling of wanting to turn away.
Whether at the front door, unlocking the door, or taking off her shoes, Sendai-san continues to talk nonsense.
「Miyagi, are you listening?」
As soon as I enter the common space, I hear Sendai-san’s gentle voice.
When I replied「yes,」wondering whether I should go to my room or not, Sendai-san put her luggage on the table as a matter of course. Then she start boiling water in the electric kettle. Two mugs are placed on the table, and I sigh and prepare a tea bag of tea.
「Miyagi, you know…」
Without sitting down in her chair, Sendai-san comes next to me and looks at me.
I want to cover my ears to hear her voice, which is not light. I think it would be uninteresting if I answered, but I have lost the timing to go to my room.
「…What?」
I have no choice but to speak up and stare at the mug.
「I’m sorry for today.」
What the apology is for is being withheld.
However, I somehow understood what she was apologizing for.
「That’s nothing for you to apologize for, Sendai-san. You don’t have to apologize twice.」
Perhaps I was told「sorry」about the girl I met at the grocery store who had the title of “Sendai-san’s student.”
「I’d better apologize.」
「Why do you think so?」
「Because you’re angry, Miyagi.」
「I’m not angry.」
「Even if I also told her a lot of things about you, Miyagi?」
「I don’t care about that.」
I am curious about the details of “a lot of things,” but if I ask about them, I am sure that Sendai-san will tell me about the girl. It is only painful to hear Sendai-san’s voice talking about things I don’t want to hear.
「Miyagi, don’t you like Kikyō-chan?」
「It’s not like that.」
She is not a being that I would classify as like or dislike or anything like that. I don’t want to categorize her either way, and I don’t want to think about her.
「…Then, perhaps…」
The voices I hear are a little quieter.
I have a bad feeling about this and shift my gaze from the mug to Sendai-san.
「If you’re in bad mood, then you’re jealo——」
「I didn’t, I should go to my room now.」
I took the words she was about to say and denies them.
Her tutoring job has nothing to do with me.
So it has nothing to do with her students either.
Sendai-san’s part-time job is not something I should interfere with, so there is no need to be picky or apologize.
I don’t know what to say again when someone says something that digs up something I am trying to forget. It’s like a whisk mixing in my head the things I enjoyed today and the things I didn’t enjoy, and my emotions get lost in the mix. It’s not nice to keep getting mixed up with feelings that I want to separate.
「What about tea?」
Sendai-san quietly says.
「I’ll take it.」
「Will you make one for me too?」
「I’ll leave it in front of your room, Sendai-san.」
「Why don’t you just drink here with me?」
「I’m not doing it.」
I reply in a cold voice to Sendai-san, who smiles softly. Still, she does not change her expression. She speaks to me in a soft voice.
「I’d rather have a drink with you, Miyagi.」
「If Sendai-san is here, I’ll go to my room.」
「Don’t say that, just sit down.」
Before I can turn my back on her, she grabs my arm and pulls me back. It is not that strong, but I can feel her will not to allow me to go to my room. But that doesn’t mean I have to follow Sendai-san’s words.
「I don’t want to.」
I answered shortly and peeled off the hand attached to my arm, but Sendai-san did not give up. She pulled up a chair, patted its back, and chuckled again.
「Sit down and I’ll do whatever you like, Miyagi.」
「What’s that?」
「You like having your feet licked, don’t you?」
Sendai-san looked at me, as if deciding what to say.
「I don’t like it. The water’s boiled. Why don’t you make some tea?」
「Since you’re wearing a skirt, don’t be shy.」
Sendai-san, who wanted to have tea with me, abandoned what she had to do and returned the conversation to a place where it didn’t need to be returned.
「The skirt has nothing to do with it.」
「Yes, it is. It’s easier to lick your feet in a skirt, isn’t it?」
When I say this, Sendai-san pushes my shoulders and forces me to sit in a chair.
Annoying.
Really annoying.
I tried to get up from the chair I didn’t want to sit in, but Sendai-san kneeled on the floor faster than that.
This has happened many times in the past.
I sat Sendai-san down on the floor and let her lick my feet.
It’s a memory that can be easily retrieved, even when my mind is stirred up, a memory I will never forget.
「You don’t have to do anything unnecessary, just get up.」
It’s not an order, but I order Sendai-san to kick her legs.
「I don’t have to stand up.」
「It’s not fine.」
I kick Sendai-san again and she grabs my leg painfully. When I strongly told her to「get off me,」which rarely happened in these situations, her hands didn’t leave me, but rather my skirt was rolled up to my knees.
「What are you doing?」
Instead of a reply, her lips attach to my knee. They are soft, raw and warm, and surprisingly comfortable on my leg. Still, I cannot accept her lips.
「Stop.」
I don’t think I want Sendai-san to touch me when I’m in a mood like today. But she won’t stop. Her lips are pressed against my knee and the tip of her tongue touches. Lips lick up, lips part, touch again.
「Sendai-san!」
I call her hard and tug at her bangs, and her lips part. Sendai-san looks up and smiles.
「Your voice is too loud. You don’t have to call out so loud to be heard.」
「If you heard me, don’t do it.」
「If you want me to stop, why don’t you ask me to stop?」
「Absolutely not.」
「I knew you’d say that.」
「Stop it.」
「I absolutely hate it too.」
「Sendai-san!」
When I called again strongly, her fingertips touched my knee. Her finger crawls to trace where her lips touched and licks there.
「It feels weird.」
「You must be mistaken about feeling it good, right?」
Without looking up, Sendai-san said and kissed my knees. Her fingertips took the liberty of removing my socks and stroking my ankles.
「Why do you do these things?」
I push on Sendai-san’s head and her body leaves me. But soon she grabs my leg. Fingers crawl on my calf, lips touch the back of my leg, and the tip of her tongue.
The kisses are repeated many times, and tongues crawl.
It feels bad, and it feels good.
Her body heat reminds me of things I don’t want to remember, along with the past I was commanding.
Sendai-san on the bed.
Her body temperature mingling with mine.
——No.
This is not something I recall right now.
「Sendai-san, please answer me.」
I have yet to hear why she does these things.
「…Because you’re in a bad mood, Miyagi.」
Sendai-san looks up, blurting out something.
「Not bad. Just not good.」
「It’s the same, right?」
「It’s not the same, and you don’t care if I’m in a good mood or not.」
「I’m just trying to get your mood better.」
「Licking my feet won’t make it better.」
「Then, what should I do?」
Sendai-san said in a voice neither soft nor hard.
At the end of our joined hands, Sendai-san is noisy.
I’m trying to figure out what to say, but she’s talking so much that I can’t think straight.
Like the story of that tortoiseshell cat that Sendai-san often meets.
Or the not-so-sweet French toast we had for lunch.
The blanks are filled with innocuous stories chosen from a number of topics, my head is filled, and I have nothing to say. All I can do is make small talk.
We get on the train, we get off the train.
The sun loses its power and the sky changes color.
Walking down the cat-free sidewalk, the house approaches.
Sendai-san continues to talk about safe and sound.
It’s not that I have to speak, but when I have nothing to do but to phase, I am concerned about the fact that I have seen a face I didn’t need to know and another student or some other person I have yet to see.
Sendai-san’s voice is not stuck in my head.
All that remains is the feeling of wanting to turn away.
Whether at the front door, unlocking the door, or taking off her shoes, Sendai-san continues to talk nonsense.
「Miyagi, are you listening?」
As soon as I enter the common space, I hear Sendai-san’s gentle voice.
When I replied「yes,」wondering whether I should go to my room or not, Sendai-san put her luggage on the table as a matter of course. Then she start boiling water in the electric kettle. Two mugs are placed on the table, and I sigh and prepare a tea bag of tea.
「Miyagi, you know…」
Without sitting down in her chair, Sendai-san comes next to me and looks at me.
I want to cover my ears to hear her voice, which is not light. I think it would be uninteresting if I answered, but I have lost the timing to go to my room.
「…What?」
I have no choice but to speak up and stare at the mug.
「I’m sorry for today.」
What the apology is for is being withheld.
However, I somehow understood what she was apologizing for.
「That’s nothing for you to apologize for, Sendai-san. You don’t have to apologize twice.」
Perhaps I was told「sorry」about the girl I met at the grocery store who had the title of “Sendai-san’s student.”
「I’d better apologize.」
「Why do you think so?」
「Because you’re angry, Miyagi.」
「I’m not angry.」
「Even if I also told her a lot of things about you, Miyagi?」
「I don’t care about that.」
I am curious about the details of “a lot of things,” but if I ask about them, I am sure that Sendai-san will tell me about the girl. It is only painful to hear Sendai-san’s voice talking about things I don’t want to hear.
「Miyagi, don’t you like Kikyō-chan?」
「It’s not like that.」
She is not a being that I would classify as like or dislike or anything like that. I don’t want to categorize her either way, and I don’t want to think about her.
「…Then, perhaps…」
The voices I hear are a little quieter.
I have a bad feeling about this and shift my gaze from the mug to Sendai-san.
「If you’re in bad mood, then you’re jealo——」
「I didn’t, I should go to my room now.」
I took the words she was about to say and denies them.
Her tutoring job has nothing to do with me.
So it has nothing to do with her students either.
Sendai-san’s part-time job is not something I should interfere with, so there is no need to be picky or apologize.
I don’t know what to say again when someone says something that digs up something I am trying to forget. It’s like a whisk mixing in my head the things I enjoyed today and the things I didn’t enjoy, and my emotions get lost in the mix. It’s not nice to keep getting mixed up with feelings that I want to separate.
「What about tea?」
Sendai-san quietly says.
「I’ll take it.」
「Will you make one for me too?」
「I’ll leave it in front of your room, Sendai-san.」
「Why don’t you just drink here with me?」
「I’m not doing it.」
I reply in a cold voice to Sendai-san, who smiles softly. Still, she does not change her expression. She speaks to me in a soft voice.
「I’d rather have a drink with you, Miyagi.」
「If Sendai-san is here, I’ll go to my room.」
「Don’t say that, just sit down.」
Before I can turn my back on her, she grabs my arm and pulls me back. It is not that strong, but I can feel her will not to allow me to go to my room. But that doesn’t mean I have to follow Sendai-san’s words.
「I don’t want to.」
I answered shortly and peeled off the hand attached to my arm, but Sendai-san did not give up. She pulled up a chair, patted its back, and chuckled again.
「Sit down and I’ll do whatever you like, Miyagi.」
「What’s that?」
「You like having your feet licked, don’t you?」
Sendai-san looked at me, as if deciding what to say.
「I don’t like it. The water’s boiled. Why don’t you make some tea?」
「Since you’re wearing a skirt, don’t be shy.」
Sendai-san, who wanted to have tea with me, abandoned what she had to do and returned the conversation to a place where it didn’t need to be returned.
「The skirt has nothing to do with it.」
「Yes, it is. It’s easier to lick your feet in a skirt, isn’t it?」
When I say this, Sendai-san pushes my shoulders and forces me to sit in a chair.
Annoying.
Really annoying.
I tried to get up from the chair I didn’t want to sit in, but Sendai-san kneeled on the floor faster than that.
This has happened many times in the past.
I sat Sendai-san down on the floor and let her lick my feet.
It’s a memory that can be easily retrieved, even when my mind is stirred up, a memory I will never forget.
「You don’t have to do anything unnecessary, just get up.」
It’s not an order, but I order Sendai-san to kick her legs.
「I don’t have to stand up.」
「It’s not fine.」
I kick Sendai-san again and she grabs my leg painfully. When I strongly told her to「get off me,」which rarely happened in these situations, her hands didn’t leave me, but rather my skirt was rolled up to my knees.
「What are you doing?」
Instead of a reply, her lips attach to my knee. They are soft, raw and warm, and surprisingly comfortable on my leg. Still, I cannot accept her lips.
「Stop.」
I don’t think I want Sendai-san to touch me when I’m in a mood like today. But she won’t stop. Her lips are pressed against my knee and the tip of her tongue touches. Lips lick up, lips part, touch again.
「Sendai-san!」
I call her hard and tug at her bangs, and her lips part. Sendai-san looks up and smiles.
「Your voice is too loud. You don’t have to call out so loud to be heard.」
「If you heard me, don’t do it.」
「If you want me to stop, why don’t you ask me to stop?」
「Absolutely not.」
「I knew you’d say that.」
「Stop it.」
「I absolutely hate it too.」
「Sendai-san!」
When I called again strongly, her fingertips touched my knee. Her finger crawls to trace where her lips touched and licks there.
「It feels weird.」
「You must be mistaken about feeling it good, right?」
Without looking up, Sendai-san said and kissed my knees. Her fingertips took the liberty of removing my socks and stroking my ankles.
「Why do you do these things?」
I push on Sendai-san’s head and her body leaves me. But soon she grabs my leg. Fingers crawl on my calf, lips touch the back of my leg, and the tip of her tongue.
The kisses are repeated many times, and tongues crawl.
It feels bad, and it feels good.
Her body heat reminds me of things I don’t want to remember, along with the past I was commanding.
Sendai-san on the bed.
Her body temperature mingling with mine.
——No.
This is not something I recall right now.
「Sendai-san, please answer me.」
I have yet to hear why she does these things.
「…Because you’re in a bad mood, Miyagi.」
Sendai-san looks up, blurting out something.
「Not bad. Just not good.」
「It’s the same, right?」
「It’s not the same, and you don’t care if I’m in a good mood or not.」
「I’m just trying to get your mood better.」
「Licking my feet won’t make it better.」
「Then, what should I do?」
Sendai-san said in a voice neither soft nor hard.
