Chapter 110
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The woman who entered after Risa in the door has not changed at all since Lana saw her for the last time. And at the same time, something elusive pointed out that it was not the same Veronica Winterbourne that Lana knew. Her eyes looked duller, and her clothes no longer sat on her, as if it was a kind of armor. She was slightly hunching and twisted a light wool sweater around herself as if looking for support in it.
Risa, noticing how Veronica paused at the entrance, unceremoniously grabbed her arm and dragged the woman to the table, forcing Lana to raise her eyebrows in surprise. No one had ever dared to treat her mother like that. But an even greater shock was brought about by her mom's reaction to this insulting behavior. In response, she did not resist but smiled warmly at Risa.
"Let's leave all these ceremonies." - Risa said firmly, coming to the table and setting the woman across from Lana. - "You have an hour to dump everything from your pretty little heads on each other, swear, cry, etc. I'm going to take a nap in Lana's room for now. I'll be back later, and we will decide what to do next."
She stated this all in one breath, forcing both girls at the table to look at each other.
"And do not forget to get drunk! Your dance is, of course, a wonderful tradition. But today it is necessary to do it in an old-fashioned way. You know, the alcohol can help to wrench the soul out quite well, too!" - she threw and without waiting for an answer went to the door.
Both women followed Risa's back with undisguised anxiety in their eyes, then turned to each other and simultaneously exhaled. Such synchronicity could not help but make both smile slightly.
"Risa is a good girl," - Veronica finally decided to start the conversation first. - "So vibrant and cheerful."
"Yes. It seems that here the Moon was not mistaken, she is really the perfect match for Brian." - Replied Lana and halted. Veronica frowned a little, then on her face reflected the understanding. She stood up and took a bottle of wine, pouring them both full glasses.
" We never before had a chance to drink together." - She said putting the bottle in place. Lana threw an irked look at her mother. The tip of the tongue was full of accusations, offensive words, blame. It took much force from Lana just keep them inside.
"You know, Lana, I know perfectly well everything that you now want to tell me. And I asking you to do it. If it'll make you feel a little bit better, then you probably need to do it." -Veronica suggested, seating again in her place and staring intently into her daughter's eyes. Suddenly, Lana felt wild rage, like lava swirling inside. Without even thinking, she grabbed her glass of wine and dried it in a few sips to the bottom.
"Need to? Don't tell me what the hell I need to do, mom!" - Lana's voice even sounded strange to her own ears. It was so overwhelmed with poison as if so wall suddenly broken and all rotten thoughts that Lana kept inside, rushed out. But alcohol had already hit the head, driven by the shifting metabolism and Lana went into a full swing.
"Want to hear what I think? Well, finally, my mom decided to listen to me for the past thirty years! I am so thrilled and honored, that I'm about to puke! But sorry, nothing good is somehow coming to mind. Your daughter, like your son, has always been a failure for you. Disappointment. But I went further than him, right? I understand that I am mostly to blame for all this mess, but I wonder where you were with all your advice then? Didn't you know that Dad literally sold me to Ralph?"
Veronica did not even sway under a hail of questions and mockery from Lana. Although in her eyes the normal yellowish-brown color begins to glow slightly, letting the nervousness show a bit.
" I will not make excuses for myself, Ruslana." - She finally spoke in a tired voice. - "Not because I have nothing to justify myself for, but because I think my excuses will not help you feel better. So I'll just tell everything to you as it is."
The quiet words of the mother did not put out the anger that was simmering inside Lana, but she decided to listen to this woman since she had come so far just for this meeting.
"You probably already know from Brian that your father and I have never been a Mates." - began Veronica, seeing that daughter is waiting for her to continue. - "We were both orphans. Not even loners. We got acquainted in human's orphanage. Then we didn't even know who we really are, what is wrong with us. In addition to your father and I, there were a few more similar children. We like a magnet were pulled to each other, and naturally, Ian became the leader of our small gang. We went through a lot together. Lived on the street, in abandoned buildings, and even tried to find our animal half once living a whole year in the forest." - Veronica smirked, and her eyes were clouded by memories.
"Your father has always been a true leader. He was Alpha, even when he did not know what it was. Many were drawn to him, and our little flock became a whole pack. But with it grew his anger and appetite for power. He saw a lot and dreamed of only one thing - to become stronger than all. It seemed to him the only way not to be used by other, hurt or humiliated. Each new shifter in our pack became a new responsibility on his shoulders. And to lift this load, he searched for more and more power. Money, houses, food, protection ... But it seems to me that somewhere in the middle of his chase for strength, he was so carried away that he completely forgot what he was fighting for. His pack became so big that even his kinsmen became just a faceless crowd to him. "
Lana looked at her mother, not knowing how to react to all this information. She had never heard of it before.
"Then why did you declare yourself a Mates?" - asked Lana, the question that had long troubled her.
Veronica smiled awkwardly and shrugged.
"In fact, we never did. Just at the beginning, if Ian were accepted as a leader, then I would rather be like an older sister for everyone. Maybe I was also born with the inclination to be Alpha female, who knows? The two of us were always together, and everyone was waiting for us to become a couple when we grow older. But we never felt this pull to each other. The new members of the pack naturally assumed that we were Mates, and we simply stopped correcting them. I do not even have a mark." - The woman pushed the collar back, showing the clean skin on her neck.
"No one has been asking questions for a long time. Our union with your father has always been something natural. I know him as much as I can remember and there were so many reasons for our marriage. But none of them was love or tenderness. It was just so convenient. However, when Brian was born, all the comfort between us disappeared. Your father focused on his growing business, drawing energy from victories there, and I ... I was scared. Then I couldn't admit this to myself, but it was so easy to take a step back and begin to perceive you not as my children, but as a simple part of the pack. Other people's problems are always easier to solve than your own. Your heart does not hurt because of them, and you are not forced to look into the eyes of your helplessness, your fears, and weaknesses. Seeing you as just a small part of something bigger was easier. My losses with you were more than offset by good luck with other members of our pack. Everyone considered me a strong leader, wise Alpha female. And no one guessed that I was just hiding behind this role to avoid the main responsibility in my life, which I knew I wouldn't handle well. I was strong enough to take care for the pack as a whole but too weak to build a family alone. I want you to understand that I am not trying to justify myself and do not apologize because I don't deserve your forgiveness. I will never forgive myself. My debt to you is enormous. And maybe I can never give it back completely, but I want to start doing it now. If you let me. Please let me help."
Mother's last words made Lana flinch. It was all too much. It was so easy to hate, get angry, just assume that they betrayed her because they never loved because they were mean and evil. But they were just as lost as she had once been, not so long ago, if not more.
"Mom, you right. I can't forgive you like this," - Lana spoke up, making a decision for herself. - "Because there is nothing to forgive. You have never been a real mother to me."
Hearing these words Veronica slightly swayed as if from a slap. But Lana did not let her say anything.
"I had only one piece of your advice in my childhood, the time when you came to me in the evening before my first performance at the Charity Ball. This is all ... And this is not enough. But Greg asked me to try and look at you in a new way. So if you want, we can start with this. And then we'll see how it goes ..."
Veronica stared in disbelief at the face of her daughter, as if she doubted whether she had heard everything correctly. Then her eyes filled with tears and she could not help herself but get up and rushed into the arms of her daughter.
Lana's eyes had already begun to shine, too. It was so strange before mother seemed so big and strong, and now Lana was surprised to learn that Veronica is even smaller than her in height and can feet just like this in the circle of her arms. Uncertainly, she stretched out her hand and hugged her mother's shoulders. Veronica froze for a second and then squeezed her daughter more tightly as if fearing that Lana would suddenly disappear. Lana felt the ugly crying snicking on her, too. So she raised her hand pulling the least of her emotional strength into this gesture and shouted at the side of the bar.
"Waiter, we need two more bottles of wine! And right now!"
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The woman who entered after Risa in the door has not changed at all since Lana saw her for the last time. And at the same time, something elusive pointed out that it was not the same Veronica Winterbourne that Lana knew. Her eyes looked duller, and her clothes no longer sat on her, as if it was a kind of armor. She was slightly hunching and twisted a light wool sweater around herself as if looking for support in it.
Risa, noticing how Veronica paused at the entrance, unceremoniously grabbed her arm and dragged the woman to the table, forcing Lana to raise her eyebrows in surprise. No one had ever dared to treat her mother like that. But an even greater shock was brought about by her mom's reaction to this insulting behavior. In response, she did not resist but smiled warmly at Risa.
"Let's leave all these ceremonies." - Risa said firmly, coming to the table and setting the woman across from Lana. - "You have an hour to dump everything from your pretty little heads on each other, swear, cry, etc. I'm going to take a nap in Lana's room for now. I'll be back later, and we will decide what to do next."
She stated this all in one breath, forcing both girls at the table to look at each other.
"And do not forget to get drunk! Your dance is, of course, a wonderful tradition. But today it is necessary to do it in an old-fashioned way. You know, the alcohol can help to wrench the soul out quite well, too!" - she threw and without waiting for an answer went to the door.
Both women followed Risa's back with undisguised anxiety in their eyes, then turned to each other and simultaneously exhaled. Such synchronicity could not help but make both smile slightly.
"Risa is a good girl," - Veronica finally decided to start the conversation first. - "So vibrant and cheerful."
"Yes. It seems that here the Moon was not mistaken, she is really the perfect match for Brian." - Replied Lana and halted. Veronica frowned a little, then on her face reflected the understanding. She stood up and took a bottle of wine, pouring them both full glasses.
" We never before had a chance to drink together." - She said putting the bottle in place. Lana threw an irked look at her mother. The tip of the tongue was full of accusations, offensive words, blame. It took much force from Lana just keep them inside.
"You know, Lana, I know perfectly well everything that you now want to tell me. And I asking you to do it. If it'll make you feel a little bit better, then you probably need to do it." -Veronica suggested, seating again in her place and staring intently into her daughter's eyes. Suddenly, Lana felt wild rage, like lava swirling inside. Without even thinking, she grabbed her glass of wine and dried it in a few sips to the bottom.
"Need to? Don't tell me what the hell I need to do, mom!" - Lana's voice even sounded strange to her own ears. It was so overwhelmed with poison as if so wall suddenly broken and all rotten thoughts that Lana kept inside, rushed out. But alcohol had already hit the head, driven by the shifting metabolism and Lana went into a full swing.
"Want to hear what I think? Well, finally, my mom decided to listen to me for the past thirty years! I am so thrilled and honored, that I'm about to puke! But sorry, nothing good is somehow coming to mind. Your daughter, like your son, has always been a failure for you. Disappointment. But I went further than him, right? I understand that I am mostly to blame for all this mess, but I wonder where you were with all your advice then? Didn't you know that Dad literally sold me to Ralph?"
Veronica did not even sway under a hail of questions and mockery from Lana. Although in her eyes the normal yellowish-brown color begins to glow slightly, letting the nervousness show a bit.
" I will not make excuses for myself, Ruslana." - She finally spoke in a tired voice. - "Not because I have nothing to justify myself for, but because I think my excuses will not help you feel better. So I'll just tell everything to you as it is."
The quiet words of the mother did not put out the anger that was simmering inside Lana, but she decided to listen to this woman since she had come so far just for this meeting.
"You probably already know from Brian that your father and I have never been a Mates." - began Veronica, seeing that daughter is waiting for her to continue. - "We were both orphans. Not even loners. We got acquainted in human's orphanage. Then we didn't even know who we really are, what is wrong with us. In addition to your father and I, there were a few more similar children. We like a magnet were pulled to each other, and naturally, Ian became the leader of our small gang. We went through a lot together. Lived on the street, in abandoned buildings, and even tried to find our animal half once living a whole year in the forest." - Veronica smirked, and her eyes were clouded by memories.
"Your father has always been a true leader. He was Alpha, even when he did not know what it was. Many were drawn to him, and our little flock became a whole pack. But with it grew his anger and appetite for power. He saw a lot and dreamed of only one thing - to become stronger than all. It seemed to him the only way not to be used by other, hurt or humiliated. Each new shifter in our pack became a new responsibility on his shoulders. And to lift this load, he searched for more and more power. Money, houses, food, protection ... But it seems to me that somewhere in the middle of his chase for strength, he was so carried away that he completely forgot what he was fighting for. His pack became so big that even his kinsmen became just a faceless crowd to him. "
Lana looked at her mother, not knowing how to react to all this information. She had never heard of it before.
"Then why did you declare yourself a Mates?" - asked Lana, the question that had long troubled her.
Veronica smiled awkwardly and shrugged.
"In fact, we never did. Just at the beginning, if Ian were accepted as a leader, then I would rather be like an older sister for everyone. Maybe I was also born with the inclination to be Alpha female, who knows? The two of us were always together, and everyone was waiting for us to become a couple when we grow older. But we never felt this pull to each other. The new members of the pack naturally assumed that we were Mates, and we simply stopped correcting them. I do not even have a mark." - The woman pushed the collar back, showing the clean skin on her neck.
"No one has been asking questions for a long time. Our union with your father has always been something natural. I know him as much as I can remember and there were so many reasons for our marriage. But none of them was love or tenderness. It was just so convenient. However, when Brian was born, all the comfort between us disappeared. Your father focused on his growing business, drawing energy from victories there, and I ... I was scared. Then I couldn't admit this to myself, but it was so easy to take a step back and begin to perceive you not as my children, but as a simple part of the pack. Other people's problems are always easier to solve than your own. Your heart does not hurt because of them, and you are not forced to look into the eyes of your helplessness, your fears, and weaknesses. Seeing you as just a small part of something bigger was easier. My losses with you were more than offset by good luck with other members of our pack. Everyone considered me a strong leader, wise Alpha female. And no one guessed that I was just hiding behind this role to avoid the main responsibility in my life, which I knew I wouldn't handle well. I was strong enough to take care for the pack as a whole but too weak to build a family alone. I want you to understand that I am not trying to justify myself and do not apologize because I don't deserve your forgiveness. I will never forgive myself. My debt to you is enormous. And maybe I can never give it back completely, but I want to start doing it now. If you let me. Please let me help."
Mother's last words made Lana flinch. It was all too much. It was so easy to hate, get angry, just assume that they betrayed her because they never loved because they were mean and evil. But they were just as lost as she had once been, not so long ago, if not more.
"Mom, you right. I can't forgive you like this," - Lana spoke up, making a decision for herself. - "Because there is nothing to forgive. You have never been a real mother to me."
Hearing these words Veronica slightly swayed as if from a slap. But Lana did not let her say anything.
"I had only one piece of your advice in my childhood, the time when you came to me in the evening before my first performance at the Charity Ball. This is all ... And this is not enough. But Greg asked me to try and look at you in a new way. So if you want, we can start with this. And then we'll see how it goes ..."
Veronica stared in disbelief at the face of her daughter, as if she doubted whether she had heard everything correctly. Then her eyes filled with tears and she could not help herself but get up and rushed into the arms of her daughter.
Lana's eyes had already begun to shine, too. It was so strange before mother seemed so big and strong, and now Lana was surprised to learn that Veronica is even smaller than her in height and can feet just like this in the circle of her arms. Uncertainly, she stretched out her hand and hugged her mother's shoulders. Veronica froze for a second and then squeezed her daughter more tightly as if fearing that Lana would suddenly disappear. Lana felt the ugly crying snicking on her, too. So she raised her hand pulling the least of her emotional strength into this gesture and shouted at the side of the bar.
"Waiter, we need two more bottles of wine! And right now!"
The woman who entered after Risa in the door has not changed at all since Lana saw her for the last time. And at the same time, something elusive pointed out that it was not the same Veronica Winterbourne that Lana knew. Her eyes looked duller, and her clothes no longer sat on her, as if it was a kind of armor. She was slightly hunching and twisted a light wool sweater around herself as if looking for support in it.Risa, noticing how Veronica paused at the entrance, unceremoniously grabbed her arm and dragged the woman to the table, forcing Lana to raise her eyebrows in surprise. No one had ever dared to treat her mother like that. But an even greater shock was brought about by her mom's reaction to this insulting behavior. In response, she did not resist but smiled warmly at Risa."Let's leave all these ceremonies." - Risa said firmly, coming to the table and setting the woman across from Lana. - "You have an hour to dump everything from your pretty little heads on each other, swear, cry, etc. I'm going to take a nap in Lana's room for now. I'll be back later, and we will decide what to do next." She stated this all in one breath, forcing both girls at the table to look at each other."And do not forget to get drunk! Your dance is, of course, a wonderful tradition. But today it is necessary to do it in an old-fashioned way. You know, the alcohol can help to wrench the soul out quite well, too!" - she threw and without waiting for an answer went to the door.Both women followed Risa's back with undisguised anxiety in their eyes, then turned to each other and simultaneously exhaled. Such synchronicity could not help but make both smile slightly."Risa is a good girl," - Veronica finally decided to start the conversation first. - "So vibrant and cheerful." "Yes. It seems that here the Moon was not mistaken, she is really the perfect match for Brian." - Replied Lana and halted. Veronica frowned a little, then on her face reflected the understanding. She stood up and took a bottle of wine, pouring them both full glasses." We never before had a chance to drink together." - She said putting the bottle in place. Lana threw an irked look at her mother. The tip of the tongue was full of accusations, offensive words, blame. It took much force from Lana just keep them inside."You know, Lana, I know perfectly well everything that you now want to tell me. And I asking you to do it. If it'll make you feel a little bit better, then you probably need to do it." -Veronica suggested, seating again in her place and staring intently into her daughter's eyes. Suddenly, Lana felt wild rage, like lava swirling inside. Without even thinking, she grabbed her glass of wine and dried it in a few sips to the bottom."Need to? Don't tell me what the hell I need to do, mom!" - Lana's voice even sounded strange to her own ears. It was so overwhelmed with poison as if so wall suddenly broken and all rotten thoughts that Lana kept inside, rushed out. But alcohol had already hit the head, driven by the shifting metabolism and Lana went into a full swing."Want to hear what I think? Well, finally, my mom decided to listen to me for the past thirty years! I am so thrilled and honored, that I'm about to puke! But sorry, nothing good is somehow coming to mind. Your daughter, like your son, has always been a failure for you. Disappointment. But I went further than him, right? I understand that I am mostly to blame for all this mess, but I wonder where you were with all your advice then? Didn't you know that Dad literally sold me to Ralph?"Veronica did not even sway under a hail of questions and mockery from Lana. Although in her eyes the normal yellowish-brown color begins to glow slightly, letting the nervousness show a bit." I will not make excuses for myself, Ruslana." - She finally spoke in a tired voice. - "Not because I have nothing to justify myself for, but because I think my excuses will not help you feel better. So I'll just tell everything to you as it is." The quiet words of the mother did not put out the anger that was simmering inside Lana, but she decided to listen to this woman since she had come so far just for this meeting."You probably already know from Brian that your father and I have never been a Mates." - began Veronica, seeing that daughter is waiting for her to continue. - "We were both orphans. Not even loners. We got acquainted in human's orphanage. Then we didn't even know who we really are, what is wrong with us. In addition to your father and I, there were a few more similar children. We like a magnet were pulled to each other, and naturally, Ian became the leader of our small gang. We went through a lot together. Lived on the street, in abandoned buildings, and even tried to find our animal half once living a whole year in the forest." - Veronica smirked, and her eyes were clouded by memories. "Your father has always been a true leader. He was Alpha, even when he did not know what it was. Many were drawn to him, and our little flock became a whole pack. But with it grew his anger and appetite for power. He saw a lot and dreamed of only one thing - to become stronger than all. It seemed to him the only way not to be used by other, hurt or humiliated. Each new shifter in our pack became a new responsibility on his shoulders. And to lift this load, he searched for more and more power. Money, houses, food, protection ... But it seems to me that somewhere in the middle of his chase for strength, he was so carried away that he completely forgot what he was fighting for. His pack became so big that even his kinsmen became just a faceless crowd to him. "Lana looked at her mother, not knowing how to react to all this information. She had never heard of it before. "Then why did you declare yourself a Mates?" - asked Lana, the question that had long troubled her. Veronica smiled awkwardly and shrugged."In fact, we never did. Just at the beginning, if Ian were accepted as a leader, then I would rather be like an older sister for everyone. Maybe I was also born with the inclination to be Alpha female, who knows? The two of us were always together, and everyone was waiting for us to become a couple when we grow older. But we never felt this pull to each other. The new members of the pack naturally assumed that we were Mates, and we simply stopped correcting them. I do not even have a mark." - The woman pushed the collar back, showing the clean skin on her neck. "No one has been asking questions for a long time. Our union with your father has always been something natural. I know him as much as I can remember and there were so many reasons for our marriage. But none of them was love or tenderness. It was just so convenient. However, when Brian was born, all the comfort between us disappeared. Your father focused on his growing business, drawing energy from victories there, and I ... I was scared. Then I couldn't admit this to myself, but it was so easy to take a step back and begin to perceive you not as my children, but as a simple part of the pack. Other people's problems are always easier to solve than your own. Your heart does not hurt because of them, and you are not forced to look into the eyes of your helplessness, your fears, and weaknesses. Seeing you as just a small part of something bigger was easier. My losses with you were more than offset by good luck with other members of our pack. Everyone considered me a strong leader, wise Alpha female. And no one guessed that I was just hiding behind this role to avoid the main responsibility in my life, which I knew I wouldn't handle well. I was strong enough to take care for the pack as a whole but too weak to build a family alone. I want you to understand that I am not trying to justify myself and do not apologize because I don't deserve your forgiveness. I will never forgive myself. My debt to you is enormous. And maybe I can never give it back completely, but I want to start doing it now. If you let me. Please let me help." Mother's last words made Lana flinch. It was all too much. It was so easy to hate, get angry, just assume that they betrayed her because they never loved because they were mean and evil. But they were just as lost as she had once been, not so long ago, if not more. "Mom, you right. I can't forgive you like this," - Lana spoke up, making a decision for herself. - "Because there is nothing to forgive. You have never been a real mother to me."Hearing these words Veronica slightly swayed as if from a slap. But Lana did not let her say anything."I had only one piece of your advice in my childhood, the time when you came to me in the evening before my first performance at the Charity Ball. This is all ... And this is not enough. But Greg asked me to try and look at you in a new way. So if you want, we can start with this. And then we'll see how it goes ..."Veronica stared in disbelief at the face of her daughter, as if she doubted whether she had heard everything correctly. Then her eyes filled with tears and she could not help herself but get up and rushed into the arms of her daughter. Lana's eyes had already begun to shine, too. It was so strange before mother seemed so big and strong, and now Lana was surprised to learn that Veronica is even smaller than her in height and can feet just like this in the circle of her arms. Uncertainly, she stretched out her hand and hugged her mother's shoulders. Veronica froze for a second and then squeezed her daughter more tightly as if fearing that Lana would suddenly disappear. Lana felt the ugly crying snicking on her, too. So she raised her hand pulling the least of her emotional strength into this gesture and shouted at the side of the bar."Waiter, we need two more bottles of wine! And right now!"
