Although disappointed, the Archduke and his wife respected my decision. We naturally changed the subject.
As if we were deliberately not wanting to talk about Vivian anymore.
⇺⇺⇺⇼⇻⇻⇻
When I broke up with the Archduke couple and came out, the sun had already set. When I entered the carriage, the escort closed the door and the carriage began to move.
‘I thought our talk about Vivian would end around lunchtime.’
Perhaps because I was on the verge of death, the Archduke and his wife wanted to spend even more time with me, even though they didn’t say much.
As a result, I was only released after we had dinner together.
The Archduke and his wife invited me to spend the night because it was already late, but I refused.
In any case, it was already much later than expected.
‘Caleb must be back at the mansion by now, right?’
I sent someone to inform him that I would be staying after dinner.
However, it was far past the time to call it ‘dinnertime,’ so I was rushed and impatient.
Because it was obvious he would be worried.
‘Perhaps he’ll come to pick me up in person because he’s worried……’
Um, no? Isn’t that taking things too far?
It was the time when I shook my head to clear my mind because I was having an embarrassing imagination.
The carriage abruptly came to a halt.
‘What happened?’
Curiosity soared as the carriage, which was running smoothly, came to a halt.
Should I inquire with the escort knights as to what is going on?
Though contemplating, my hand was moving to open the carriage window.
The guards looked straight ahead and bowed their heads as I opened the window.
The person to whom the escorting knights of the duke’s family would bow their heads.
As far as I know, there was only one such person.
Over the window, I saw a large black horse, and then I saw the person I was expecting.
“Caleb!”
I exclaimed cheerfully as I leaned out the window.
“What are you doing here?”
“I returned to the mansion, but I heard that you had not yet returned from the imperial castle, so I became worried and set out for the imperial castle.”
I only realized later that Caleb was still dressed in his uniform.
Did you come looking for me as soon as you returned from the Knights?
“I apologize. I was just going to eat dinner, but the conversation got longer.”
“No, I’ve confirmed your safety, so that’s all right. Is there anything noteworthy that happened?”
“I just got back from the Imperial Castle, so nothing bad could happen.”
“This is usually the case, but……”
Caleb pressed his lips together, blurring his words.
I supposed I knew what he was thinking right now.
Because I was the same way.
Perhaps Caleb recognizes this and reacts accordingly.
When I realized a non-contradictory contradiction, I quickly changed my words.
“Shall we return to the mansion?”
Caleb agreed to me and added his worrying words to close the window because it’s dangerous.
The carriage soon moved again.
Caleb stuck right next to the carriage and drove his horse as if he were escorting me.
While looking at it, I remembered Vivian’s cry, which I had mostly forgotten. Caleb’s figure was obscured by a sharp voice.
Even today, as I looked at the Archduke and his wife, I felt guilty because I remembered Vivian’s words.
Concerns about whether or not to confess the truth.
Though, I eventually decided to not to reveal that part.
‘Even so, shouldn’t I tell Caleb?’
I was able to keep my mouth shut because I knew how much the Archduke and Archduchess loved Vivian and that they would leave one day.
Caleb, on the other hand, was someone I had to see and continue to see in order to draw the future together.
I would have no choice but to talk about the past in my previous life after spending so many moments together.
Just like when I told Caleb I’d taken swordsmanship lessons.
At the time, I wondered how such luck could continue, despite the fact that it was said to be all wrapped up.
‘I need to tell him.’
That would be the best, right?
Because I know that once he has doubts, they will multiply and become serious.
Looking at the duke’s residence which was getting closer, I gathered my thoughts.
Caleb, who had gotten off the horse first, opened the carriage door and reached out to me as if he had to.
I got out of the carriage as well, holding the hand as familiar as I had.
Normally, I would have entered the mansion immediately, but today was different.
I said this while still holding Caleb’s hand.
“Would you like to take a walk? It was just the two of us, no one else.”
Caleb was perplexed by my suggestion but quickly nodded.
Despite the fact that the sun had set in the evening, we were able to walk without difficulty because the street lamps illuminated the road.
We walked to the backyard, looking at the trees, which revealed empty branches and light brown, dried grass leaves.
We didn’t say anything until we got halfway through the backyard.
It was only natural that I, who had asked to walk first, remained silent.
I hadn’t let go of the hand I was holding in a long time.
My heart grew impatient as the silence grew longer and the distance remained until I had completed a lap around the garden.
Nonetheless, I was unable to say anything.
With the passage of time, thoughts shifted from “I have to say it” to “Should I say it?”
I’ve been fine all along. Isn’t it better if I just kept my mouth shut?
If I said it, wouldn’t he just be confused and treat me like a weirdo?
Thoughts have returned to square one.
As if I couldn’t tell the Archduke couple everything that had been bothering me for months.
My thoughts began to drift toward silence.
What is the point of saying that? I’ve been doing a good job without telling him.
So in the future, all I have to do is be cautious.
The thought was revoked there.
It was because something heavy was suddenly placed on my shoulders.
A familiar scent passed through the tip of my nose.
I turned my head slightly and noticed a cape draped over my shoulder.
The navy blue cape with black fur on the neck which was worn by Caleb until a while ago.
“Why the cape……”
“I’m guessing you’re cold because you’re covering your arms.”
Did I?
Leaning my head to the side, I realized my arms were wrapped around my body, just as Caleb had said.
Because I was so deep in thought, I didn’t notice the cold, but my body did.
The cape remained warm, as if to prove that he had been wearing it until now.
Because of this, I felt warm before I realized I was cold.
I wonder how many people will be considerate of my feelings that I even myself do not know.
“I’m fine, so don’t worry about it, and keep yourself covered.”
Even if it means risking getting cold.
“Thank you.”
As I thanked him, one side of my chest went numb.
‘Caleb is always thinking of me and doing everything for my sake.’
On the other hand, how was I? I was always hiding and being evasive.
I pressured a breath out, biting my lower lip. Then I looked up at Caleb.
“I have something to tell you.”
I clutched the cape Caleb had wrapped around me.
I was definitely looking him in the eyes, but as I spoke, my gaze dropped and my voice trembled.
“Perhaps it sounds strange and weary to you. Maybe you think I’m crazy, but……”
I hope you listen.
“Elena.”
But Caleb called me before I could finish my sentence.
“I don’t know what you’re trying to say.”
Caleb carefully reached out and wrapped his hand around my cheek.
“I promise I’m not going to think of you that way.”
“No matter how unbelievable what I say?”
“That’s correct.”
As the body temperature passed through the gloves, a warm voice was heard.
“I’ll believe whatever you say because it’s all your words.”
Is it because we’re looking at each other’s faces so closely, or because we’re drunk in the moonlight?
For a brief moment, I had that sensation.
As Caleb stated, I believe he will believe me regardless of what I say.
No way, if it’s Caleb, he’d believe me.
Because that’s the type of person he is.
‘There’s nothing to worry about.’
It had to be something I had to say and go through at some point. Let’s just pretend we’re doing it ahead of time.
I mustered the courage to speak after slowly exhaling.
“……I think it’ll be a little long, shall we sit over there and talk?”
Then I directed my attention to the dome-shaped garden chair.
Caleb gladly said yes, and we sat side by side in the chair.
“I’m not sure where to begin, but everything I’m going to say from now on is true and without embellishment.”
So far, I’d done quite well, but the problem awaited.
Obviously, I was thinking about how and what to say earlier from inside the carriage, but I hesitated again.
I was also frustrated with myself, but I wondered how Caleb would be. Even though I knew it, my mouth remained closed.
Caleb waited while I repeatedly opened and closed my lips, not urging me in the least.
As a result, I was able to calmly organize my thoughts.
I finally opened my mouth, my hands clasped tightly together.
“In actuality, I’ve already died once.”
I couldn’t bear to look at Caleb and went on talking.
“And…… I was not of this world.”
Starting with that, I began to reveal what I had been keeping hidden.
When I opened my eyes, thinking I was dead, I discovered that I had transformed into Elena.
After reading the play script, I realized that this world is the same as the one in the book I was reading in my previous life.
In fact, I debated whether to say that this is the world in the book I read until the very end.
But I was already set on telling the truth. I didn’t want to keep anything hidden.
Caleb knew this backstory inside and out.
I told Vivian everything I knew yesterday.
“…… I had no intention of ever talking in my life. I knew it would only cause confusion, and I wasn’t sure if I needed to say it. But I felt compelled to tell you everything, Caleb.”
Even after I finished speaking, I couldn’t lift my head. I couldn’t bring myself to look at Caleb.
‘I expected to feel a little relieved after telling the truth.’
That was not the case at all.
Rather than being relieved, regrets and anxiety flooded in.
‘Perhaps I shouldn’t have said that.’
I’m curious if it was something even Caleb struggled to accept.
Will Caleb blame me, as Vivian did? I deceived to him, this is a phony life……
I wanted to look at Caleb’s face, but my head wouldn’t move.
“Elena.”
How many times did I grab my skirt and let it go because I was nervous?
Caleb only said my name, but my body flinched without my being aware of it.
Even though I couldn’t look up, an unexpected word came to my ears.
“I’m sure it must have been a difficult story to tell…… Thank you for telling me.”
For a brief moment, my head, which could not move at all, moved.
I looked up at Caleb, surprised, and asked.
“…… Do you believe me?”
“Didn’t you tell me because you thought I’d believe you?”
“That’s true, but……”
But you still believe me?
You believe what I said?
Really?
I was perplexed as to why I had to repeat it so many times.
It was when I was staring at Caleb in disbelief.
“To be honest, Elena, I’m just happy right now.”
Although disappointed, the Archduke and his wife respected my decision. We naturally changed the subject.
As if we were deliberately not wanting to talk about Vivian anymore.
⇺⇺⇺⇼⇻⇻⇻
When I broke up with the Archduke couple and came out, the sun had already set. When I entered the carriage, the escort closed the door and the carriage began to move.
‘I thought our talk about Vivian would end around lunchtime.’
Perhaps because I was on the verge of death, the Archduke and his wife wanted to spend even more time with me, even though they didn’t say much.
As a result, I was only released after we had dinner together.
The Archduke and his wife invited me to spend the night because it was already late, but I refused.
In any case, it was already much later than expected.
‘Caleb must be back at the mansion by now, right?’
I sent someone to inform him that I would be staying after dinner.
However, it was far past the time to call it ‘dinnertime,’ so I was rushed and impatient.
Because it was obvious he would be worried.
‘Perhaps he’ll come to pick me up in person because he’s worried……’
Um, no? Isn’t that taking things too far?
It was the time when I shook my head to clear my mind because I was having an embarrassing imagination.
The carriage abruptly came to a halt.
‘What happened?’
Curiosity soared as the carriage, which was running smoothly, came to a halt.
Should I inquire with the escort knights as to what is going on?
Though contemplating, my hand was moving to open the carriage window.
The guards looked straight ahead and bowed their heads as I opened the window.
The person to whom the escorting knights of the duke’s family would bow their heads.
As far as I know, there was only one such person.
Over the window, I saw a large black horse, and then I saw the person I was expecting.
“Caleb!”
I exclaimed cheerfully as I leaned out the window.
“What are you doing here?”
“I returned to the mansion, but I heard that you had not yet returned from the imperial castle, so I became worried and set out for the imperial castle.”
I only realized later that Caleb was still dressed in his uniform.
Did you come looking for me as soon as you returned from the Knights?
“I apologize. I was just going to eat dinner, but the conversation got longer.”
“No, I’ve confirmed your safety, so that’s all right. Is there anything noteworthy that happened?”
“I just got back from the Imperial Castle, so nothing bad could happen.”
“This is usually the case, but……”
Caleb pressed his lips together, blurring his words.
I supposed I knew what he was thinking right now.
Because I was the same way.
Perhaps Caleb recognizes this and reacts accordingly.
When I realized a non-contradictory contradiction, I quickly changed my words.
“Shall we return to the mansion?”
Caleb agreed to me and added his worrying words to close the window because it’s dangerous.
The carriage soon moved again.
Caleb stuck right next to the carriage and drove his horse as if he were escorting me.
While looking at it, I remembered Vivian’s cry, which I had mostly forgotten. Caleb’s figure was obscured by a sharp voice.
Even today, as I looked at the Archduke and his wife, I felt guilty because I remembered Vivian’s words.
Concerns about whether or not to confess the truth.
Though, I eventually decided to not to reveal that part.
‘Even so, shouldn’t I tell Caleb?’
I was able to keep my mouth shut because I knew how much the Archduke and Archduchess loved Vivian and that they would leave one day.
Caleb, on the other hand, was someone I had to see and continue to see in order to draw the future together.
I would have no choice but to talk about the past in my previous life after spending so many moments together.
Just like when I told Caleb I’d taken swordsmanship lessons.
At the time, I wondered how such luck could continue, despite the fact that it was said to be all wrapped up.
‘I need to tell him.’
That would be the best, right?
Because I know that once he has doubts, they will multiply and become serious.
Looking at the duke’s residence which was getting closer, I gathered my thoughts.
Caleb, who had gotten off the horse first, opened the carriage door and reached out to me as if he had to.
I got out of the carriage as well, holding the hand as familiar as I had.
Normally, I would have entered the mansion immediately, but today was different.
I said this while still holding Caleb’s hand.
“Would you like to take a walk? It was just the two of us, no one else.”
Caleb was perplexed by my suggestion but quickly nodded.
Despite the fact that the sun had set in the evening, we were able to walk without difficulty because the street lamps illuminated the road.
We walked to the backyard, looking at the trees, which revealed empty branches and light brown, dried grass leaves.
We didn’t say anything until we got halfway through the backyard.
It was only natural that I, who had asked to walk first, remained silent.
I hadn’t let go of the hand I was holding in a long time.
My heart grew impatient as the silence grew longer and the distance remained until I had completed a lap around the garden.
Nonetheless, I was unable to say anything.
With the passage of time, thoughts shifted from “I have to say it” to “Should I say it?”
I’ve been fine all along. Isn’t it better if I just kept my mouth shut?
If I said it, wouldn’t he just be confused and treat me like a weirdo?
Thoughts have returned to square one.
As if I couldn’t tell the Archduke couple everything that had been bothering me for months.
My thoughts began to drift toward silence.
What is the point of saying that? I’ve been doing a good job without telling him.
So in the future, all I have to do is be cautious.
The thought was revoked there.
It was because something heavy was suddenly placed on my shoulders.
A familiar scent passed through the tip of my nose.
I turned my head slightly and noticed a cape draped over my shoulder.
The navy blue cape with black fur on the neck which was worn by Caleb until a while ago.
“Why the cape……”
“I’m guessing you’re cold because you’re covering your arms.”
Did I?
Leaning my head to the side, I realized my arms were wrapped around my body, just as Caleb had said.
Because I was so deep in thought, I didn’t notice the cold, but my body did.
The cape remained warm, as if to prove that he had been wearing it until now.
Because of this, I felt warm before I realized I was cold.
I wonder how many people will be considerate of my feelings that I even myself do not know.
“I’m fine, so don’t worry about it, and keep yourself covered.”
Even if it means risking getting cold.
“Thank you.”
As I thanked him, one side of my chest went numb.
‘Caleb is always thinking of me and doing everything for my sake.’
On the other hand, how was I? I was always hiding and being evasive.
I pressured a breath out, biting my lower lip. Then I looked up at Caleb.
“I have something to tell you.”
I clutched the cape Caleb had wrapped around me.
I was definitely looking him in the eyes, but as I spoke, my gaze dropped and my voice trembled.
“Perhaps it sounds strange and weary to you. Maybe you think I’m crazy, but……”
I hope you listen.
“Elena.”
But Caleb called me before I could finish my sentence.
“I don’t know what you’re trying to say.”
Caleb carefully reached out and wrapped his hand around my cheek.
“I promise I’m not going to think of you that way.”
“No matter how unbelievable what I say?”
“That’s correct.”
As the body temperature passed through the gloves, a warm voice was heard.
“I’ll believe whatever you say because it’s all your words.”
Is it because we’re looking at each other’s faces so closely, or because we’re drunk in the moonlight?
For a brief moment, I had that sensation.
As Caleb stated, I believe he will believe me regardless of what I say.
No way, if it’s Caleb, he’d believe me.
Because that’s the type of person he is.
‘There’s nothing to worry about.’
It had to be something I had to say and go through at some point. Let’s just pretend we’re doing it ahead of time.
I mustered the courage to speak after slowly exhaling.
“……I think it’ll be a little long, shall we sit over there and talk?”
Then I directed my attention to the dome-shaped garden chair.
Caleb gladly said yes, and we sat side by side in the chair.
“I’m not sure where to begin, but everything I’m going to say from now on is true and without embellishment.”
So far, I’d done quite well, but the problem awaited.
Obviously, I was thinking about how and what to say earlier from inside the carriage, but I hesitated again.
I was also frustrated with myself, but I wondered how Caleb would be. Even though I knew it, my mouth remained closed.
Caleb waited while I repeatedly opened and closed my lips, not urging me in the least.
As a result, I was able to calmly organize my thoughts.
I finally opened my mouth, my hands clasped tightly together.
“In actuality, I’ve already died once.”
I couldn’t bear to look at Caleb and went on talking.
“And…… I was not of this world.”
Starting with that, I began to reveal what I had been keeping hidden.
When I opened my eyes, thinking I was dead, I discovered that I had transformed into Elena.
After reading the play script, I realized that this world is the same as the one in the book I was reading in my previous life.
In fact, I debated whether to say that this is the world in the book I read until the very end.
But I was already set on telling the truth. I didn’t want to keep anything hidden.
Caleb knew this backstory inside and out.
I told Vivian everything I knew yesterday.
“…… I had no intention of ever talking in my life. I knew it would only cause confusion, and I wasn’t sure if I needed to say it. But I felt compelled to tell you everything, Caleb.”
Even after I finished speaking, I couldn’t lift my head. I couldn’t bring myself to look at Caleb.
‘I expected to feel a little relieved after telling the truth.’
That was not the case at all.
Rather than being relieved, regrets and anxiety flooded in.
‘Perhaps I shouldn’t have said that.’
I’m curious if it was something even Caleb struggled to accept.
Will Caleb blame me, as Vivian did? I deceived to him, this is a phony life……
I wanted to look at Caleb’s face, but my head wouldn’t move.
“Elena.”
How many times did I grab my skirt and let it go because I was nervous?
Caleb only said my name, but my body flinched without my being aware of it.
Even though I couldn’t look up, an unexpected word came to my ears.
“I’m sure it must have been a difficult story to tell…… Thank you for telling me.”
For a brief moment, my head, which could not move at all, moved.
I looked up at Caleb, surprised, and asked.
“…… Do you believe me?”
“Didn’t you tell me because you thought I’d believe you?”
“That’s true, but……”
But you still believe me?
You believe what I said?
Really?
I was perplexed as to why I had to repeat it so many times.
It was when I was staring at Caleb in disbelief.
“To be honest, Elena, I’m just happy right now.”
