Chapter 13
If audio player doesn't work, press Stop then Play button again
Neo's steps echoed as he slowly made his way down the hallway.
Having left his brother and his companions in the dining hall, he feels the need for air, away from the prying eyes of others.
How long has it been since he last placed himself at the center of a confrontation? Like a spider, he spun a web of lies and treachery, trapping those who he claimed were his enemies, whether they be friend or foe, greedily devouring them one by one without stopping to see that all along, there was a bird waiting for him to fatten himself up so that they, too, will get a meal.
A sardonic smile stretched across his face. He sighs wistfully, covering his eyes for a brief moment. He needed to stop reminiscing. The memories were toying with his emotions.
Eventually, Neo finds himself in front of a stairway at the end of the corridor, partially hidden by a shadow. The stairway wasn't purposely hidden. Everyone knew of its existence, but not many wanted to venture up the steps, due to the lack of curiosity, or simply believing it to be a waste of their time.
There are steps to reach the roof of the school, where a bell tower happens to be.
Long ago, Neo had climbed these steps on days where he felt like he wanted to be with his Mummy. When living became harder and harder, he wanted an easy way out.
Once upon a time, he had gazed down at the bottom from where he sat, his feets dangling from a terrifying height. The edge of the bell tower, where a fall can kill him before he even became a little stain on the ground.
Neo climbed up, reaching the door at the top of the steps, and opened it wide.
What greeted him was a familiar sight. Wide, blue skies and dapples of clouds, closer now that he was so high above the ground. The bell tower entrance was at the very top of the tower, with a winding staircase built on its side, swirling like a ribbon twine. There was no railing, just the wall of the bell tower and the open air, so he needed to be careful when climbing the steps, lest he falls off the rooftop entirely.
Neo made his way up the winding stairs, steady and calm, feeling the rough bricks of the bell tower wall as his hand placed themselves carefully on it, keeping himself grounded.
Arriving at the very top, he passed the arch entrance and found himself under the large, bronze bell hanging above.
Made from bronze and silver, long ago this bell tower was originally made for communal services. When the Church had no need for it anymore, the relic was given to the school and redesigned so that it can ring once an hour to signify the start and end of class.
Neo stood on his tiptoes, stretching his hand to reach the side of the bell, wanting to touch it again. His fingertips graze the edge, just barely.
Hello, old friend.
He smiles.
"What are you doing?"
Blinking, Neo dropped his hand quickly and turned to the origin of the voice. He saw a figure standing on the opposite side of the tower, near the very edge, but not dangerously close to the peak.
Striking red hair, cropped short and messy, with equally striking, scarlet red eyes.
Neo swallowed roughly, and wet his lips. He wasn't quite ready to face him just yet.
"Royce." He greets him as calmly as he could. "Shouldn't you be in class?" He asked, his voice, nervous and uncertain.
He received a glower, and then a scoff.
The unfriendly looking Royce who used to be so loyal to him was nowhere to be found.
"Didn't want to." The other replies with the same biting tone of voice. "The old man wouldn't let me miss school, so I'm hiding until class is over. What are you doing here?" He crossed his arms, looking impatient with Neo.
Neo paused, watching Royce's hostility grow the longer they stood in front of one another.
"I..."
His throat felt dry like the desert. His stomach was flopping about uncomfortably. He doesn't know what to do about this situation.
"Whatever," Royce snaps, "if you have nothing to do here, I suggest you leave."
"But..."
He glares at him harshly. The next sentence that comes out of his mouth makes Neo's blood freeze.
"A sinner like you has no need to be here."
The trembling of Neo's lips did not help matters.
The two of them were once both vipers, hanging on to any weakness they can get their hands on. Despite knowing this, despite understanding how vicious they were, it did not stop Neo from feeling his eyes sting.
He was tired. He wanted to go home, back to the mansion and within the safety of the western garden, and maybe with Rainier, a cup of tea, and some cakes.
Royce saw the way Neo was trembling and did not look at it kindly.
"Crying isn't going to fix anything."
"En."
He accepts that. He knows that. That's why he wants his future actions to do the work. But it didn't stop him from feeling the regret. It didn't stop the waterworks, no matter how much he wanted to cut off the tears. God, he was a mess.
The strong front he had built was already damaged by his last break down, now it will ultimately collapse in the face of Royce, who died.
Willing down what little water threatening to spill over his eyes, he spoke. His voice was thick and raw, but he had to say something.
"How are you?" He asks, quietly amidst the quiet atmosphere, afraid that if he speaks too loudly, it might affect the tension between them.
Silence could be heard in this bell tower. It was so quiet and still, not even the sound of birds could penetrate the silence. He can hardly hear his own breathing, but he can hear the anger rolling off of Royce like waves.
Vermillion eyes, wisen and old. Short hair tied with a red ribbon. When Royce saw Neo's appearance, he knew. And Neo, too, understood what has happened.
In a split second, Royce's face contorted into a mask of fury, resentment, contempt. And hatred.
So much hatred, rising from the depths of those scarlet eyes, burning Neo's skin like a hot brand.
Here's the thing about hatred. Pure hatred, true and raw and at its finest, can only be called as such when you give yourself entirely to that dangerous current.
Disliking a person and wishing them death is nothing compared to that resentment. Because, when it comes down to it, the target of that hatred MUST live. The more one hates the other, the more desperate they would like them to live.
They must desire death, without touching a drop of death. They must desire the end without reaching the end. Hanging death in front of them like a taunt while torturing them over and over without mercy is hatred. Letting them suffer a living hell and depriving them of their demise is the ultimate form of pure hatred.
And that is what comes down to this.
"How am I?"
"En."
Unexpectedly, Royce flashes him a bright smile. It was dazzling and radiant, able to light up any room he was in. He had seen the smile often, in different variations. From smirks to false grins, to true, happy smiles. He had many faces.
Royce was known to have a smile permanently plastered to his face as he said something stupid. Neo knew each and every one of them by heart. For the one that was being shown to him currently, he learned that the brighter the smile, the more spite was hidden beneath the cheery expression.
"You fucking asshole."
Because... even with a smile, it did not hide the darkness tainting those brilliant red eyes.
"En..."
The little control that Royce held seemingly loosened like a frayed string that's been abused for far too long. Balled fists, shaking shoulders, a tense atmosphere about to snap under the pressure of his presence.
"You fucking asshole!" The roar was expected but nonetheless, it was equally painful to hear it. "My family fell into destitution because of you! You pushed us into ruins and we ended up in the streets, all because of YOU!" Royce accused him, his voice shaking with the rage he felt. "People came after us, and without the protection of the household, we were nothing." He hisses miserably.
Then all at once, Neo understood.
How could he not, when he sees those red eyes burning so brightly in anger?
"Do you know what happened?" A sardonic grin appeared on his face, and Neo desperately wanted him to stop. To breathe. To calm down and talk. "They found me. Those families that we offended found me." Neo saw him grit his teeth. "They took me. I was there for weeks. Weeks!"
The look Neo's receives makes him suck in a breath. The broken look was like a mirror. He saw a broken man, too grown to be a boy. He wants to say he's sorry. That he won't let it happen again. That everything will be fine this time around.
But what can he say? What can he possibly say or do that will make this any better?
"Ever heard of a Human Swine?" The lack of mirth in Royce's eyes overpowered the crooked and unsettled smile donning his face. His voice softens to an almost whisper, the haunted look clear as day. Neo wasn't sure if he was ready to hear what else Royce had to say.
"Dismembered, limb by limb... gouge out my eyes and cut off my tongue... my nose, my ears, my lips..."
The boy closed his eyes for a moment, desperately needing a moment to not let the memories overwhelm him.
Neo wanted to tell him to stop, he didn't have to bring up any of these things if it hurt him so, but Royce wasn't finished. "Forced me to drink a poison that made me mute, drugged me up and locked me in a pigsty..."
"Royce..." Neo's voice trembled, and he took a step forward.
To what? Embrace him? Comfort him? Stop him from speaking any further?
"... They called me a human swine..." Tears rolled down his face, but he continued speaking. "...stuffed me into a trunk and tossed me into the ocean. The water... The water was getting higher... I couldn't breathe..."
He had drowned in those waves, forgotten and alone, nothing but a shell of a human. It was so painful when the water entered his lungs when the current consumed him, and all he could think was when it would be over.
"I hate you..." His voice cracked, and Neo despaired at the sound.
In his last moments, Royce wanted to die. He didn't want to live anymore. He was tired by the end of it and saw the light. He got to be someone new, with a new family, in a new world. But then, it was all a lie. Because he came back to the beginning. This hell. Where he would experience it all over again...
Step by step, Neo crosses the distance between them. His footsteps are quiet, but they echoed throughout the bell tower. Nonetheless, he sees that Royce doesn't notice, his face, downcast, posture showing he was not in the right state of mind.
"I have wronged you." Neo is only a foot away. He can reach out and touch the other if he wished to.
Slowly, he brings his arms out and enfolds them around Royce. The other was much taller than him, almost half a head taller, but Neo still attempts to gather him into his arms and shelter him from whatever continues to haunt his memories.
They were broken, the two of them. Damaged goods, sinners, and victims and perpetrators, all in one like a complex ball of complexities. But, they are not beyond repair.
Royce was never supposed to be a part of any of his schemes. He might have been innocent if Neo had just stepped away and released him from his web of lies, from his schemes, and cut that loyalty at the stems.
"I'm sorry."
Neo held Royce as he felt the other move. A wet spot appeared on his shoulder, but he continued to hug the other. Even when the red-haired boy could no longer stand, Neo followed him down, not letting him go. The two of them sat on the ground for a very long time, neither saying more as Royce muffled his sobs and hiccups, and let the tears flow freely down his face.
He was the son of a Marquis and the child of the second wife.
Royce Callum Benedick of the Benedick Household, the youngest of his brothers, who grew up without expecting the title of Marquis.
His oldest brother, the first son, the son of the main wife, passed from a fever.
His second oldest brother, the last heir apparent, the son of the mistress, was accidentally killed a few years ago during the annual royal hunt. It all fell to him.
They called him the victor, earning the heirship without lifting a single finger. He, third son, son of the second wife, grew up and became a debauched heir.
The tender gaze that Neo gave the boy as he cried into his shoulder was filled with so many apologies and promises.
So young, he had a whole life ahead of him.
This time, they can change that. They can be normal friends, live out the rest of their lives as proper nobility. They don't have to strive for anything else but their own form of happiness.
The future is unclear, but Neo doesn't want to let go of his chances. He can see so many paths forming for the first time, all to be explored and tested. There is so much they can change now for the better.
Royce sniffed into his shoulder. Neo hugged him even tighter.
He can't promise that everything will be fine, but at the very least, he will not let what had happened before happen again. Surely, this time will be better.
Please report us if you find any errors so we can fix it asap!
Neo's steps echoed as he slowly made his way down the hallway.
Having left his brother and his companions in the dining hall, he feels the need for air, away from the prying eyes of others.
How long has it been since he last placed himself at the center of a confrontation? Like a spider, he spun a web of lies and treachery, trapping those who he claimed were his enemies, whether they be friend or foe, greedily devouring them one by one without stopping to see that all along, there was a bird waiting for him to fatten himself up so that they, too, will get a meal.
A sardonic smile stretched across his face. He sighs wistfully, covering his eyes for a brief moment. He needed to stop reminiscing. The memories were toying with his emotions.
Eventually, Neo finds himself in front of a stairway at the end of the corridor, partially hidden by a shadow. The stairway wasn't purposely hidden. Everyone knew of its existence, but not many wanted to venture up the steps, due to the lack of curiosity, or simply believing it to be a waste of their time.
There are steps to reach the roof of the school, where a bell tower happens to be.
Long ago, Neo had climbed these steps on days where he felt like he wanted to be with his Mummy. When living became harder and harder, he wanted an easy way out.
Once upon a time, he had gazed down at the bottom from where he sat, his feets dangling from a terrifying height. The edge of the bell tower, where a fall can kill him before he even became a little stain on the ground.
Neo climbed up, reaching the door at the top of the steps, and opened it wide.
What greeted him was a familiar sight. Wide, blue skies and dapples of clouds, closer now that he was so high above the ground. The bell tower entrance was at the very top of the tower, with a winding staircase built on its side, swirling like a ribbon twine. There was no railing, just the wall of the bell tower and the open air, so he needed to be careful when climbing the steps, lest he falls off the rooftop entirely.
Neo made his way up the winding stairs, steady and calm, feeling the rough bricks of the bell tower wall as his hand placed themselves carefully on it, keeping himself grounded.
Arriving at the very top, he passed the arch entrance and found himself under the large, bronze bell hanging above.
Made from bronze and silver, long ago this bell tower was originally made for communal services. When the Church had no need for it anymore, the relic was given to the school and redesigned so that it can ring once an hour to signify the start and end of class.
Neo stood on his tiptoes, stretching his hand to reach the side of the bell, wanting to touch it again. His fingertips graze the edge, just barely.
Hello, old friend.
He smiles.
"What are you doing?"
Blinking, Neo dropped his hand quickly and turned to the origin of the voice. He saw a figure standing on the opposite side of the tower, near the very edge, but not dangerously close to the peak.
Striking red hair, cropped short and messy, with equally striking, scarlet red eyes.
Neo swallowed roughly, and wet his lips. He wasn't quite ready to face him just yet.
"Royce." He greets him as calmly as he could. "Shouldn't you be in class?" He asked, his voice, nervous and uncertain.
He received a glower, and then a scoff.
The unfriendly looking Royce who used to be so loyal to him was nowhere to be found.
"Didn't want to." The other replies with the same biting tone of voice. "The old man wouldn't let me miss school, so I'm hiding until class is over. What are you doing here?" He crossed his arms, looking impatient with Neo.
Neo paused, watching Royce's hostility grow the longer they stood in front of one another.
"I..."
His throat felt dry like the desert. His stomach was flopping about uncomfortably. He doesn't know what to do about this situation.
"Whatever," Royce snaps, "if you have nothing to do here, I suggest you leave."
"But..."
He glares at him harshly. The next sentence that comes out of his mouth makes Neo's blood freeze.
"A sinner like you has no need to be here."
The trembling of Neo's lips did not help matters.
The two of them were once both vipers, hanging on to any weakness they can get their hands on. Despite knowing this, despite understanding how vicious they were, it did not stop Neo from feeling his eyes sting.
He was tired. He wanted to go home, back to the mansion and within the safety of the western garden, and maybe with Rainier, a cup of tea, and some cakes.
Royce saw the way Neo was trembling and did not look at it kindly.
"Crying isn't going to fix anything."
"En."
He accepts that. He knows that. That's why he wants his future actions to do the work. But it didn't stop him from feeling the regret. It didn't stop the waterworks, no matter how much he wanted to cut off the tears. God, he was a mess.
The strong front he had built was already damaged by his last break down, now it will ultimately collapse in the face of Royce, who died.
Willing down what little water threatening to spill over his eyes, he spoke. His voice was thick and raw, but he had to say something.
"How are you?" He asks, quietly amidst the quiet atmosphere, afraid that if he speaks too loudly, it might affect the tension between them.
Silence could be heard in this bell tower. It was so quiet and still, not even the sound of birds could penetrate the silence. He can hardly hear his own breathing, but he can hear the anger rolling off of Royce like waves.
Vermillion eyes, wisen and old. Short hair tied with a red ribbon. When Royce saw Neo's appearance, he knew. And Neo, too, understood what has happened.
In a split second, Royce's face contorted into a mask of fury, resentment, contempt. And hatred.
So much hatred, rising from the depths of those scarlet eyes, burning Neo's skin like a hot brand.
Here's the thing about hatred. Pure hatred, true and raw and at its finest, can only be called as such when you give yourself entirely to that dangerous current.
Disliking a person and wishing them death is nothing compared to that resentment. Because, when it comes down to it, the target of that hatred MUST live. The more one hates the other, the more desperate they would like them to live.
They must desire death, without touching a drop of death. They must desire the end without reaching the end. Hanging death in front of them like a taunt while torturing them over and over without mercy is hatred. Letting them suffer a living hell and depriving them of their demise is the ultimate form of pure hatred.
And that is what comes down to this.
"How am I?"
"En."
Unexpectedly, Royce flashes him a bright smile. It was dazzling and radiant, able to light up any room he was in. He had seen the smile often, in different variations. From smirks to false grins, to true, happy smiles. He had many faces.
Royce was known to have a smile permanently plastered to his face as he said something stupid. Neo knew each and every one of them by heart. For the one that was being shown to him currently, he learned that the brighter the smile, the more spite was hidden beneath the cheery expression.
"You fucking asshole."
Because... even with a smile, it did not hide the darkness tainting those brilliant red eyes.
"En..."
The little control that Royce held seemingly loosened like a frayed string that's been abused for far too long. Balled fists, shaking shoulders, a tense atmosphere about to snap under the pressure of his presence.
"You fucking asshole!" The roar was expected but nonetheless, it was equally painful to hear it. "My family fell into destitution because of you! You pushed us into ruins and we ended up in the streets, all because of YOU!" Royce accused him, his voice shaking with the rage he felt. "People came after us, and without the protection of the household, we were nothing." He hisses miserably.
Then all at once, Neo understood.
How could he not, when he sees those red eyes burning so brightly in anger?
"Do you know what happened?" A sardonic grin appeared on his face, and Neo desperately wanted him to stop. To breathe. To calm down and talk. "They found me. Those families that we offended found me." Neo saw him grit his teeth. "They took me. I was there for weeks. Weeks!"
The look Neo's receives makes him suck in a breath. The broken look was like a mirror. He saw a broken man, too grown to be a boy. He wants to say he's sorry. That he won't let it happen again. That everything will be fine this time around.
But what can he say? What can he possibly say or do that will make this any better?
"Ever heard of a Human Swine?" The lack of mirth in Royce's eyes overpowered the crooked and unsettled smile donning his face. His voice softens to an almost whisper, the haunted look clear as day. Neo wasn't sure if he was ready to hear what else Royce had to say.
"Dismembered, limb by limb... gouge out my eyes and cut off my tongue... my nose, my ears, my lips..."
The boy closed his eyes for a moment, desperately needing a moment to not let the memories overwhelm him.
Neo wanted to tell him to stop, he didn't have to bring up any of these things if it hurt him so, but Royce wasn't finished. "Forced me to drink a poison that made me mute, drugged me up and locked me in a pigsty..."
"Royce..." Neo's voice trembled, and he took a step forward.
To what? Embrace him? Comfort him? Stop him from speaking any further?
"... They called me a human swine..." Tears rolled down his face, but he continued speaking. "...stuffed me into a trunk and tossed me into the ocean. The water... The water was getting higher... I couldn't breathe..."
He had drowned in those waves, forgotten and alone, nothing but a shell of a human. It was so painful when the water entered his lungs when the current consumed him, and all he could think was when it would be over.
"I hate you..." His voice cracked, and Neo despaired at the sound.
In his last moments, Royce wanted to die. He didn't want to live anymore. He was tired by the end of it and saw the light. He got to be someone new, with a new family, in a new world. But then, it was all a lie. Because he came back to the beginning. This hell. Where he would experience it all over again...
Step by step, Neo crosses the distance between them. His footsteps are quiet, but they echoed throughout the bell tower. Nonetheless, he sees that Royce doesn't notice, his face, downcast, posture showing he was not in the right state of mind.
"I have wronged you." Neo is only a foot away. He can reach out and touch the other if he wished to.
Slowly, he brings his arms out and enfolds them around Royce. The other was much taller than him, almost half a head taller, but Neo still attempts to gather him into his arms and shelter him from whatever continues to haunt his memories.
They were broken, the two of them. Damaged goods, sinners, and victims and perpetrators, all in one like a complex ball of complexities. But, they are not beyond repair.
Royce was never supposed to be a part of any of his schemes. He might have been innocent if Neo had just stepped away and released him from his web of lies, from his schemes, and cut that loyalty at the stems.
"I'm sorry."
Neo held Royce as he felt the other move. A wet spot appeared on his shoulder, but he continued to hug the other. Even when the red-haired boy could no longer stand, Neo followed him down, not letting him go. The two of them sat on the ground for a very long time, neither saying more as Royce muffled his sobs and hiccups, and let the tears flow freely down his face.
He was the son of a Marquis and the child of the second wife.
Royce Callum Benedick of the Benedick Household, the youngest of his brothers, who grew up without expecting the title of Marquis.
His oldest brother, the first son, the son of the main wife, passed from a fever.
His second oldest brother, the last heir apparent, the son of the mistress, was accidentally killed a few years ago during the annual royal hunt. It all fell to him.
They called him the victor, earning the heirship without lifting a single finger. He, third son, son of the second wife, grew up and became a debauched heir.
The tender gaze that Neo gave the boy as he cried into his shoulder was filled with so many apologies and promises.
So young, he had a whole life ahead of him.
This time, they can change that. They can be normal friends, live out the rest of their lives as proper nobility. They don't have to strive for anything else but their own form of happiness.
The future is unclear, but Neo doesn't want to let go of his chances. He can see so many paths forming for the first time, all to be explored and tested. There is so much they can change now for the better.
Royce sniffed into his shoulder. Neo hugged him even tighter.
He can't promise that everything will be fine, but at the very least, he will not let what had happened before happen again. Surely, this time will be better.
Neo's steps echoed as he slowly made his way down the hallway.Having left his brother and his companions in the dining hall, he feels the need for air, away from the prying eyes of others.How long has it been since he last placed himself at the center of a confrontation? Like a spider, he spun a web of lies and treachery, trapping those who he claimed were his enemies, whether they be friend or foe, greedily devouring them one by one without stopping to see that all along, there was a bird waiting for him to fatten himself up so that they, too, will get a meal.A sardonic smile stretched across his face. He sighs wistfully, covering his eyes for a brief moment. He needed to stop reminiscing. The memories were toying with his emotions. Eventually, Neo finds himself in front of a stairway at the end of the corridor, partially hidden by a shadow. The stairway wasn't purposely hidden. Everyone knew of its existence, but not many wanted to venture up the steps, due to the lack of curiosity, or simply believing it to be a waste of their time. There are steps to reach the roof of the school, where a bell tower happens to be.Long ago, Neo had climbed these steps on days where he felt like he wanted to be with his Mummy. When living became harder and harder, he wanted an easy way out.Once upon a time, he had gazed down at the bottom from where he sat, his feets dangling from a terrifying height. The edge of the bell tower, where a fall can kill him before he even became a little stain on the ground.Neo climbed up, reaching the door at the top of the steps, and opened it wide.What greeted him was a familiar sight. Wide, blue skies and dapples of clouds, closer now that he was so high above the ground. The bell tower entrance was at the very top of the tower, with a winding staircase built on its side, swirling like a ribbon twine. There was no railing, just the wall of the bell tower and the open air, so he needed to be careful when climbing the steps, lest he falls off the rooftop entirely.Neo made his way up the winding stairs, steady and calm, feeling the rough bricks of the bell tower wall as his hand placed themselves carefully on it, keeping himself grounded.Arriving at the very top, he passed the arch entrance and found himself under the large, bronze bell hanging above.Made from bronze and silver, long ago this bell tower was originally made for communal services. When the Church had no need for it anymore, the relic was given to the school and redesigned so that it can ring once an hour to signify the start and end of class.Neo stood on his tiptoes, stretching his hand to reach the side of the bell, wanting to touch it again. His fingertips graze the edge, just barely.Hello, old friend.He smiles. "What are you doing?"Blinking, Neo dropped his hand quickly and turned to the origin of the voice. He saw a figure standing on the opposite side of the tower, near the very edge, but not dangerously close to the peak. Striking red hair, cropped short and messy, with equally striking, scarlet red eyes.Neo swallowed roughly, and wet his lips. He wasn't quite ready to face him just yet."Royce." He greets him as calmly as he could. "Shouldn't you be in class?" He asked, his voice, nervous and uncertain.He received a glower, and then a scoff.The unfriendly looking Royce who used to be so loyal to him was nowhere to be found."Didn't want to." The other replies with the same biting tone of voice. "The old man wouldn't let me miss school, so I'm hiding until class is over. What are you doing here?" He crossed his arms, looking impatient with Neo.Neo paused, watching Royce's hostility grow the longer they stood in front of one another."I..."His throat felt dry like the desert. His stomach was flopping about uncomfortably. He doesn't know what to do about this situation."Whatever," Royce snaps, "if you have nothing to do here, I suggest you leave.""But..."He glares at him harshly. The next sentence that comes out of his mouth makes Neo's blood freeze."A sinner like you has no need to be here."The trembling of Neo's lips did not help matters. The two of them were once both vipers, hanging on to any weakness they can get their hands on. Despite knowing this, despite understanding how vicious they were, it did not stop Neo from feeling his eyes sting.He was tired. He wanted to go home, back to the mansion and within the safety of the western garden, and maybe with Rainier, a cup of tea, and some cakes.Royce saw the way Neo was trembling and did not look at it kindly."Crying isn't going to fix anything.""En."He accepts that. He knows that. That's why he wants his future actions to do the work. But it didn't stop him from feeling the regret. It didn't stop the waterworks, no matter how much he wanted to cut off the tears. God, he was a mess. The strong front he had built was already damaged by his last break down, now it will ultimately collapse in the face of Royce, who died. Willing down what little water threatening to spill over his eyes, he spoke. His voice was thick and raw, but he had to say something. "How are you?" He asks, quietly amidst the quiet atmosphere, afraid that if he speaks too loudly, it might affect the tension between them.Silence could be heard in this bell tower. It was so quiet and still, not even the sound of birds could penetrate the silence. He can hardly hear his own breathing, but he can hear the anger rolling off of Royce like waves.Vermillion eyes, wisen and old. Short hair tied with a red ribbon. When Royce saw Neo's appearance, he knew. And Neo, too, understood what has happened. In a split second, Royce's face contorted into a mask of fury, resentment, contempt. And hatred.So much hatred, rising from the depths of those scarlet eyes, burning Neo's skin like a hot brand. Here's the thing about hatred. Pure hatred, true and raw and at its finest, can only be called as such when you give yourself entirely to that dangerous current.Disliking a person and wishing them death is nothing compared to that resentment. Because, when it comes down to it, the target of that hatred MUST live. The more one hates the other, the more desperate they would like them to live.They must desire death, without touching a drop of death. They must desire the end without reaching the end. Hanging death in front of them like a taunt while torturing them over and over without mercy is hatred. Letting them suffer a living hell and depriving them of their demise is the ultimate form of pure hatred.And that is what comes down to this."How am I?""En."Unexpectedly, Royce flashes him a bright smile. It was dazzling and radiant, able to light up any room he was in. He had seen the smile often, in different variations. From smirks to false grins, to true, happy smiles. He had many faces. Royce was known to have a smile permanently plastered to his face as he said something stupid. Neo knew each and every one of them by heart. For the one that was being shown to him currently, he learned that the brighter the smile, the more spite was hidden beneath the cheery expression. "You fucking asshole."Because... even with a smile, it did not hide the darkness tainting those brilliant red eyes. "En..."The little control that Royce held seemingly loosened like a frayed string that's been abused for far too long. Balled fists, shaking shoulders, a tense atmosphere about to snap under the pressure of his presence."You fucking asshole!" The roar was expected but nonetheless, it was equally painful to hear it. "My family fell into destitution because of you! You pushed us into ruins and we ended up in the streets, all because of YOU!" Royce accused him, his voice shaking with the rage he felt. "People came after us, and without the protection of the household, we were nothing." He hisses miserably.Then all at once, Neo understood. How could he not, when he sees those red eyes burning so brightly in anger?"Do you know what happened?" A sardonic grin appeared on his face, and Neo desperately wanted him to stop. To breathe. To calm down and talk. "They found me. Those families that we offended found me." Neo saw him grit his teeth. "They took me. I was there for weeks. Weeks!" The look Neo's receives makes him suck in a breath. The broken look was like a mirror. He saw a broken man, too grown to be a boy. He wants to say he's sorry. That he won't let it happen again. That everything will be fine this time around.But what can he say? What can he possibly say or do that will make this any better?"Ever heard of a Human Swine?" The lack of mirth in Royce's eyes overpowered the crooked and unsettled smile donning his face. His voice softens to an almost whisper, the haunted look clear as day. Neo wasn't sure if he was ready to hear what else Royce had to say. "Dismembered, limb by limb... gouge out my eyes and cut off my tongue... my nose, my ears, my lips..."The boy closed his eyes for a moment, desperately needing a moment to not let the memories overwhelm him.Neo wanted to tell him to stop, he didn't have to bring up any of these things if it hurt him so, but Royce wasn't finished. "Forced me to drink a poison that made me mute, drugged me up and locked me in a pigsty...""Royce..." Neo's voice trembled, and he took a step forward.To what? Embrace him? Comfort him? Stop him from speaking any further?"... They called me a human swine..." Tears rolled down his face, but he continued speaking. "...stuffed me into a trunk and tossed me into the ocean. The water... The water was getting higher... I couldn't breathe..."He had drowned in those waves, forgotten and alone, nothing but a shell of a human. It was so painful when the water entered his lungs when the current consumed him, and all he could think was when it would be over."I hate you..." His voice cracked, and Neo despaired at the sound.In his last moments, Royce wanted to die. He didn't want to live anymore. He was tired by the end of it and saw the light. He got to be someone new, with a new family, in a new world. But then, it was all a lie. Because he came back to the beginning. This hell. Where he would experience it all over again...Step by step, Neo crosses the distance between them. His footsteps are quiet, but they echoed throughout the bell tower. Nonetheless, he sees that Royce doesn't notice, his face, downcast, posture showing he was not in the right state of mind."I have wronged you." Neo is only a foot away. He can reach out and touch the other if he wished to.Slowly, he brings his arms out and enfolds them around Royce. The other was much taller than him, almost half a head taller, but Neo still attempts to gather him into his arms and shelter him from whatever continues to haunt his memories.They were broken, the two of them. Damaged goods, sinners, and victims and perpetrators, all in one like a complex ball of complexities. But, they are not beyond repair.Royce was never supposed to be a part of any of his schemes. He might have been innocent if Neo had just stepped away and released him from his web of lies, from his schemes, and cut that loyalty at the stems."I'm sorry."Neo held Royce as he felt the other move. A wet spot appeared on his shoulder, but he continued to hug the other. Even when the red-haired boy could no longer stand, Neo followed him down, not letting him go. The two of them sat on the ground for a very long time, neither saying more as Royce muffled his sobs and hiccups, and let the tears flow freely down his face.He was the son of a Marquis and the child of the second wife.Royce Callum Benedick of the Benedick Household, the youngest of his brothers, who grew up without expecting the title of Marquis.His oldest brother, the first son, the son of the main wife, passed from a fever.His second oldest brother, the last heir apparent, the son of the mistress, was accidentally killed a few years ago during the annual royal hunt. It all fell to him.They called him the victor, earning the heirship without lifting a single finger. He, third son, son of the second wife, grew up and became a debauched heir.The tender gaze that Neo gave the boy as he cried into his shoulder was filled with so many apologies and promises.So young, he had a whole life ahead of him.This time, they can change that. They can be normal friends, live out the rest of their lives as proper nobility. They don't have to strive for anything else but their own form of happiness.The future is unclear, but Neo doesn't want to let go of his chances. He can see so many paths forming for the first time, all to be explored and tested. There is so much they can change now for the better. Royce sniffed into his shoulder. Neo hugged him even tighter. He can't promise that everything will be fine, but at the very least, he will not let what had happened before happen again. Surely, this time will be better.
