When I sat down on a chair in the dining room Claire opened her mouth.
“I feel somewhat uneasy. It feels like the young lady is suddenly changing. Not only in appearance but also the insides.”
“My insides didn’t change. I think it only looks like it. Because I put up a “performance””
“A performance?”
Claire raised her head.
“Pretending to be strong, pretending to be calm, thinking and acting in various ways, appeal. I thought if I would start acting everything would come by itself somehow. Additionally, I didn’t want to worry father and mother.”
To be frank, every day was filled with uneasiness. But if one succumbs, it would break one’s heart.
Therefore I was going to become strong.
“And because this is the body of a boy I try to act like a boy.”
“……That’s the most difficult.”
“What is?”
“Because I never imagined that there would be a day where I have to call young lady “young master””
“Of course”
When I spoke such words somebody put their plate on or table and sat right in front of us.
“What happened?”
It was Alex that called out to us and worriedly looked at Claire’s state.
“The trouble is endless.”
I shrug. Then I try to simply explain it to him because he gave me this questioning look.
“I see.”
He laughed kindly when he finished listening to the general outlines of the story.
He is a good listener. He had that atmosphere that one could talk to him about any kind of trouble. He earnestly listened to such a strange story.
And he gave an earnest answer.
“In such a special situation it’s no wonder you are puzzled. Though there will be various ways this could turn out.”
Incidentally, I saw Edgar’s figure in the corner of my eyes.
As I was watching him because it was unusual for him to be in the dining room during the day, he approached us as he noticed my looks.
“Looks like you taught that guy the sword, Alex.”
When he stood in front of Alex Edgar opened his mouth.
“Just because I had some time to spare.”
Alex smiled wryly.
“First of all thank you. I didn’t have that much time on my side.”
“With this much it’s fine”
Alex tilted his head a little while Edgar reflected over something. Then after some time, Edgar scratched his head awkwardly.
“……You know what I want to say. To be honest that was a lie.”
Edgar looked my way for an instant.
It’s because of me, I thought. As it was said before, the problem was that he remembers Gray’s crimes every time he looked into this face.
“Human judgment is based 90% on the appearance and 10% on the personality after all.”
What Edgar said was rather extreme. Saying that a human’s contents aren’t as important.
He smiled wryly as he looked at my dissatisfied expression.
“Idealistic words like the contents of a human are important are just things they say but in truth, they just care for the appearance. I mean, it can’t be helped that I’m projecting the image I had of Gray onto you. I know that the contents are different, but I still do it for some reason. Should I get counselling, too?”
“Seriously, humans are complicated, huh?”
Alex laughed calmly. I looked at him and Edgar’s face twisted into a complicated expression.
“When you say it like this I think you are closer to a criminal. Is it true that you start to sympathise with a criminal if you continue your undercover investigations?”
“I don’t sympathise with them. A crime is a crime, and they have to be arrested for it. But sometimes I think I understand the backgrounds behind it.”
“I don’t know. I don’t want to understand the backgrounds.”
Edgar snorted.
“Ehm”
I interrupted them at that point.
“You said that Gray grew up in a bad environment, right?”
“Yeah”
Edgar’s expression told me that he found this unpleasant.
“Is it about the influence of that woman who was his magic teacher?”
Soon after having continued this, Edgar wore a blank expression. Then he sat down on a nearby chair.
“Did someone tell you this?”
He looked at me with awfully serious eyes. Alex watched me with a difficult expression on his face.
“It seems like Elizabeth was ordered to write a written apology by the acting bureau chief”
“This again……”
Edgar was at his wit’s end.
“It means that he was made to be a criminal”
Alex lowered his voice as he said that. Edgar gave him blaming looks, but Alex didn’t seem to mind them and continued.
“I think that Gray was originally an ordinary child. But that woman taught him various things from an early age, including the understanding of the standards of what is right and wrong. However, there was still a chance of rehabilitation. But it got crushed.”
“Crushed?”
I said that in a louder voice.
As I saw Alex put a finger in front of his mouth I quickly lowered my voice.
“What does that mean?”
“Do I have to write a written apology, too?”
Alex looked at Edgar for an instant and continued after smiling faintly.
“It’s before Gray committed these murders. Gray was once under the protection of the Judiciary Station. It was said that he was mentally strange or better said his memories were jumbled. He received counselling.”
“Memories……”
I remembered Howard.
“The central gave priority to arresting that woman. They pulled out Gray’s memories by force and got a clue about her. They were able to arrest her but they broke Gray.”
“Broke?”
Alex laughed somewhat sorrowful.
“In the mansion that woman had her headquarters in, were the corpses of uncountable children. That woman kidnapped a lot of children with good appearance and brought them up with her twisted methods…… She murdered the ones that didn’t fit her preferences. Then she made dolls out of the bodies. Gray who saw that was desperate not to get killed, but he couldn’t keep his mind. That’s why he probably erased his memories to protect himself.”
“Did the judiciary station make him remember? If those memories would have just disappeared……”
I muttered in utter amazement.
“He might have grown up to be an ordinary boy now.”
“You seem to have no memory either.”
Edgar opened his mouth incidentally.
I looked at him.
“Is that Gray guy trying to do the same thing?”
It was a close question about his self.
“Will he repeat what that woman did to him?”
“He might, but he might not do it as well”
Alex laughed.
“I don’t know what Gray is thinking, he might have a different aim”
Claire took my hand when she noticed me. I chewed my lips and gave her an uneasy look.
“Getting my memories back seems scary.”
I said to Claire quietly. I was sorry that I complained to her.
“You don’t have to overdo it”
With these words, Edgar showed a little concern. He seemed to be surprised by his own actions, too.
Somehow.
I think that this Judiciary Station is protecting me well.
Would the central have handled me differently?
Would they have given priority to arresting Gray?
“First of all let’s eat our meal”
Alex said so brightly to shake off the heavy atmosphere and Edgar let out a laugh.
“Weren’t you supposed to be a muscle-brain?”
Alex who stared at Edgar grinned back at him.
“I’m referred to as a muscle idiot. 90% Appearance, huh? Quite convenient, isn’t it? Would make one careless during investigations.”
Then we all ate.
Unexpectedly Edgar participated in the swordsmanship practice in the afternoon, too.
When I sat down on a chair in the dining room Claire opened her mouth.
“I feel somewhat uneasy. It feels like the young lady is suddenly changing. Not only in appearance but also the insides.”
“My insides didn’t change. I think it only looks like it. Because I put up a “performance””
“A performance?”
Claire raised her head.
“Pretending to be strong, pretending to be calm, thinking and acting in various ways, appeal. I thought if I would start acting everything would come by itself somehow. Additionally, I didn’t want to worry father and mother.”
To be frank, every day was filled with uneasiness. But if one succumbs, it would break one’s heart.
Therefore I was going to become strong.
“And because this is the body of a boy I try to act like a boy.”
“……That’s the most difficult.”
“What is?”
“Because I never imagined that there would be a day where I have to call young lady “young master””
“Of course”
When I spoke such words somebody put their plate on or table and sat right in front of us.
“What happened?”
It was Alex that called out to us and worriedly looked at Claire’s state.
“The trouble is endless.”
I shrug. Then I try to simply explain it to him because he gave me this questioning look.
“I see.”
He laughed kindly when he finished listening to the general outlines of the story.
He is a good listener. He had that atmosphere that one could talk to him about any kind of trouble. He earnestly listened to such a strange story.
And he gave an earnest answer.
“In such a special situation it’s no wonder you are puzzled. Though there will be various ways this could turn out.”
Incidentally, I saw Edgar’s figure in the corner of my eyes.
As I was watching him because it was unusual for him to be in the dining room during the day, he approached us as he noticed my looks.
“Looks like you taught that guy the sword, Alex.”
When he stood in front of Alex Edgar opened his mouth.
“Just because I had some time to spare.”
Alex smiled wryly.
“First of all thank you. I didn’t have that much time on my side.”
“With this much it’s fine”
Alex tilted his head a little while Edgar reflected over something. Then after some time, Edgar scratched his head awkwardly.
“……You know what I want to say. To be honest that was a lie.”
Edgar looked my way for an instant.
It’s because of me, I thought. As it was said before, the problem was that he remembers Gray’s crimes every time he looked into this face.
“Human judgment is based 90% on the appearance and 10% on the personality after all.”
What Edgar said was rather extreme. Saying that a human’s contents aren’t as important.
He smiled wryly as he looked at my dissatisfied expression.
“Idealistic words like the contents of a human are important are just things they say but in truth, they just care for the appearance. I mean, it can’t be helped that I’m projecting the image I had of Gray onto you. I know that the contents are different, but I still do it for some reason. Should I get counselling, too?”
“Seriously, humans are complicated, huh?”
Alex laughed calmly. I looked at him and Edgar’s face twisted into a complicated expression.
“When you say it like this I think you are closer to a criminal. Is it true that you start to sympathise with a criminal if you continue your undercover investigations?”
“I don’t sympathise with them. A crime is a crime, and they have to be arrested for it. But sometimes I think I understand the backgrounds behind it.”
“I don’t know. I don’t want to understand the backgrounds.”
Edgar snorted.
“Ehm”
I interrupted them at that point.
“You said that Gray grew up in a bad environment, right?”
“Yeah”
Edgar’s expression told me that he found this unpleasant.
“Is it about the influence of that woman who was his magic teacher?”
Soon after having continued this, Edgar wore a blank expression. Then he sat down on a nearby chair.
“Did someone tell you this?”
He looked at me with awfully serious eyes. Alex watched me with a difficult expression on his face.
“It seems like Elizabeth was ordered to write a written apology by the acting bureau chief”
“This again……”
Edgar was at his wit’s end.
“It means that he was made to be a criminal”
Alex lowered his voice as he said that. Edgar gave him blaming looks, but Alex didn’t seem to mind them and continued.
“I think that Gray was originally an ordinary child. But that woman taught him various things from an early age, including the understanding of the standards of what is right and wrong. However, there was still a chance of rehabilitation. But it got crushed.”
“Crushed?”
I said that in a louder voice.
As I saw Alex put a finger in front of his mouth I quickly lowered my voice.
“What does that mean?”
“Do I have to write a written apology, too?”
Alex looked at Edgar for an instant and continued after smiling faintly.
“It’s before Gray committed these murders. Gray was once under the protection of the Judiciary Station. It was said that he was mentally strange or better said his memories were jumbled. He received counselling.”
“Memories……”
I remembered Howard.
“The central gave priority to arresting that woman. They pulled out Gray’s memories by force and got a clue about her. They were able to arrest her but they broke Gray.”
“Broke?”
Alex laughed somewhat sorrowful.
“In the mansion that woman had her headquarters in, were the corpses of uncountable children. That woman kidnapped a lot of children with good appearance and brought them up with her twisted methods…… She murdered the ones that didn’t fit her preferences. Then she made dolls out of the bodies. Gray who saw that was desperate not to get killed, but he couldn’t keep his mind. That’s why he probably erased his memories to protect himself.”
“Did the judiciary station make him remember? If those memories would have just disappeared……”
I muttered in utter amazement.
“He might have grown up to be an ordinary boy now.”
“You seem to have no memory either.”
Edgar opened his mouth incidentally.
I looked at him.
“Is that Gray guy trying to do the same thing?”
It was a close question about his self.
“Will he repeat what that woman did to him?”
“He might, but he might not do it as well”
Alex laughed.
“I don’t know what Gray is thinking, he might have a different aim”
Claire took my hand when she noticed me. I chewed my lips and gave her an uneasy look.
“Getting my memories back seems scary.”
I said to Claire quietly. I was sorry that I complained to her.
“You don’t have to overdo it”
With these words, Edgar showed a little concern. He seemed to be surprised by his own actions, too.
Somehow.
I think that this Judiciary Station is protecting me well.
Would the central have handled me differently?
Would they have given priority to arresting Gray?
“First of all let’s eat our meal”
Alex said so brightly to shake off the heavy atmosphere and Edgar let out a laugh.
“Weren’t you supposed to be a muscle-brain?”
Alex who stared at Edgar grinned back at him.
“I’m referred to as a muscle idiot. 90% Appearance, huh? Quite convenient, isn’t it? Would make one careless during investigations.”
Then we all ate.
Unexpectedly Edgar participated in the swordsmanship practice in the afternoon, too.
