Chapter 222
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Hua Shu Lan was having a blast. She was able to meet up with her friends on time for the festival night. Tonight was the first day of the Shing festival.
The festival is to celebrate winning the war and this is the tenth anniversary. It's also another reason to grieve and thank the people whose lives were lost in battle.
Han Shu Lan was having fun when one of her friends remember a rumor she heard the other day.
"Hey, hey… I heard you got in trouble the other day," said Li Feng. She is Hua Shu Lan's cousin from her father's side.
"Ugh, don't even mention it, Feng. It's going to kill my mood!" said Hua Shu Lan. "That ugly bitch is going to feel my rage!"
"I heard she was pretty," said Ji Run-Ming. His family is also part of the top ten strongest family clans but is at the bottom. He's a good friend and visiting for the festival.
"Tsk. She won't be pretty once I mess her up!" Hua Shu Lan said.
"Haha! I can't believe this girl doesn't know the daughter of the famous Hua family!" said Ma Li-Xue. He's a good friend in town, a little more privileged than others.
"There's this poor boy that has been hanging out with her too. Gosh, they are so annoying!" Hua Shu Lan said.
"Ah, the boy that belongs to the family that used to as great as you, right?" said Li Feng.
"I know where he lives with his stupid mother… should we mess their place up?" Ma Li-Xue suggested.
Hua Shu Lan thought for a second. "Hmm… I don't think we should do it… The boy may be annoying but… he didn't actually do anything to me…"
"Come on! Let's just let loose today!" said Ma Li-Xue, trying to persuade the girls.
"I don't think it's a good idea either…" said Ji Run-Ming.
"Haha, let's just go!" said Li Feng, dragging Hua Shu Lan and Ji Run-Ming together with Ma Li-Xue, to the poor boy's home.
------
It was dark outside and the three are sitting around the fire to keep warm. Surprisingly to them, they are still close enough to the town where the festival is located and could hear cheers and laughter.
Chen Xing-Fu somehow started remembering the times he and his mother used to have and because of the mood, he decided to tell Lin Yu Yan and Han Bingwen his past.
"My mother used to not be like that…" Chen Xing-Fu said.
Lin Yu Yan was holding Chen Xing-Fu in her arms and hugged him a little tighter.Find authorized novels in Webnovel，faster updates, better experience，Please click www.webnovel.com for visiting.
"She used to make food for me and we would often go on walks. But I remember one day, she came home angry. She started hitting me… I felt something weird and when I woke up, I had a bruise. It didn't go away after a while… then I received another beating about a year after.
And then they started to become frequent and it kept getting worse. I was in pain every day. She wouldn't even feed me and she stopped going outside. She told me people would likely give money to kids than adults so she made me beg on the streets day and night… sometimes when I make a lot, some bad people would notice and steal it away… then I would get beat up for being so weak."
Lin Yu Yan was listening carefully. Her story was quite similar to his.
"Then one day, the bad people followed me home… I think because I'm a child, they thought that I am storing a lot of money somewhere…
My mother was already mad at me so when she saw me, she was mad because she thought I brought them to bother her.
Next thing I know… they are lying face down on the ground with pools of blood around them… My mother is a monster," he said.
The wind gently blew around them, rustling the leaves on the trees as the fire still burns brightly.
"What are we going to do to your mother?" Lin Yu Yan asked.
"Eh?" Chen Xing-Fu was confused.
"Well… if this goes on, I might have to… kill her," said Lin Yu Yan.
Chen Xing-Fu's eyes widen and just realized how serious the situation was.
"I… I don't know. At times I wish she would go back to her old self but at this point…"
"It's okay…" said Lin Yu Yan after a moment of silence. She pats his head and rubbed his back.
Chen Xing-Fu cried in Lin Yu Yan's arms. It was until he fell asleep that he stopped crying. He breathed in a rhythmic pattern as sit around the fire.
"He's a lot like me," said Lin Yu Yan.
"Hmm…" replied Han Bingwen.
"I think that's why I'm so attached to him."
"Me too."
Then it was silent. The fire crackle as Han Bingwen moves to sit next to Lin Yu Yan and Chen Xing-Fu. He held her hand and rubbed Chen Xing-fu's head.
"...Let's take him with us," Han Bingwen suggested.
Lin Yu Yan was surprised. She didn't think he would say that.
"Are you sure? I mean… I- I mean WE are very dangerous people. Not that we are dangerous people, it's that we are in danger," she said.
"I think we can take care of him. Plus… there is no way I'm going to leave him here alone," said Han Bingwen.
"Me too… especially with his mother," said Lin Yu Yan.
Again it went silent. Then, because of the mood in the air, Lin Yu Yan wanted to talk about her feelings.
"Bingwen?" she called.
"Hmm?"
"You know when I killed my grandfather?"
"Yeah…"
"Well… I met them before I went to Wang palace that day. I visited my old home to try to get him and my uncle to work with me. At that time, I was furious so whatever deal we were going to make, I wasn't going to go through with it."
Han Bingwen was quiet, listening to every word.
"There request was surprising to me… All my life, I suffered in their hands and their request was the first time I thought they were humans. I was listening to their conversation before I entered and I guess after they carefully talked with each other, they were able to think of a good plan.
But that wasn't the reason I was surprised at the time… Did you know what they said to me?"
Lin Yu Yan's face went to sorrow. Han Bingwen was silent. He tightened up his grip to let her know he's there for her.
"They said they will turn themselves into my hands to save my cousin, Lu Tian Tian."
Han Bingwen's brows furrowed but Lin Yu Yan wasn't done talking.
"I was so jealous of her…. To have the love of these two people without even trying must feel great. She was lucky to have wonderful parents who loved her even with that shitty attitude.
I remember the days when we played together… We had so much fun. We were so innocently enjoying our life as children with adults panning horrible things to us. My mother was very strict with my training so I couldn't play with her as much as I wanted too.
Sadly… everything changed when I was kidnapped. Everything turned upside down.
The only person I had in my life was my mother and brother. But they also left me shortly after, leaving me alone in that lonely place. I was only a year younger Chen Xing-Fu's age when I last saw my mother and brother Sheng.
Then this body stayed there for another 10 years, hoping her father will someday get her out of there..."
Lin Yu Yan took in a deep breath, ready to let Han Bingwen know something she was scared to let him know. After all, only the Chu Emperor and Quan Su Wen knows this since they are in the same spot.
"Bingwen, Yu Yan had died."
He turned to face her quickly confused because she is in front of him. But her face says otherwise.
"I'm someone else… I am from a world very different than this, where supernatural powers do not exist… where most places are at peace."
"What…?" It was confusing but her voice has no hint of hatred and lies.
"I died in that world and was brought here. I died due to my best friend. She killed me because she had a misunderstanding. She thought her boyfriend and I were having an affair when really, I was just helping him find a present for her upcoming birthday.
But I guess the time I was spending with her boyfriend, who's also my best friend, made her jealous, resulting in my death.
The old Yu Yan has died in a very similar way as well. Lu Tian Tian shot an arrow and she wasn't able to dodge on time and the tip grazed her. It was laced with poison but that's not how she died… The pain she has been through was bottled up and released and her wish to not feel pain anymore became true...
Yu Yan died because of jealousy. Lu Tian Tian was jealous of her beauty, kindness, and love.
Before Yu Yan went away… she wanted me to avenge her parents since she thought they have passed, in exchange for taking over her body."
Han Bingwen was starting to make understand now.
"When we were at the Mo Pharmacy and you saved me from my uncle… The reason why it even happen was that my cousin was freaking out about why Yu Yan is not dead but… she did. And now I, Lin Yu Yan, resides in this body."
Han Bingwen turns back to face the fire.
"I was the one who didn't suffer through the gruesome things those people did. But I felt every emotion and pain through this body and sometimes I don't know what to do with it. These… family members are not my real family but I could feel happiness and sadness as if they were.
It's too weird… Now I have to make decisions in her stead… it feels wrong. I wanted to cut ties because I knew I would feel… well, guilty. Especially with Brother Sheng since… the reason why he feels reassure is because I made him feel that way. But I'm not his sister… his sister is dead.
I know it's not a big deal but I still can't help but have these feelings, that it should have been the other Yu Yan who should have still had this life, not me.
This was not supposed to be for me but… here I am. It's been about a year since I've been alive and I've met so many wonderful people but…
Because I don't want people to suffer like Yu Yan and me so I try to help as many people as possible even knowing that I can't save everybody…
I know so many people love me but… I can't but feel that this wasn't supposed to be mine and this feeling of guilt is getting to me. I didn't deserve all this love. That this was not meant for me."
It became silent. Han Bingwen heard her story. Lin Yu Yan took a lot of courage to say what's on her mind because she has never told anyone about how she felt when she was brought into this world.
She tightens her wrap around Chen Xing-Fu to calm herself, afraid of what Han Bingwen's response is. She didn't even look at him the whole time she spoke about her situation.
"The one I fell in love with was you. You made me feel this burning sensation in my heart. You make me feel alive. You make life enjoyable for me. You make people feel better. It's you that made all these people love you," said Han Bingwen.
Lin Yu Yan was quiet. Her fingers curl because it was making her cringe but at the same time, it was reassuring her.
"This happened because you made these decisions and now you are here. You made this possible and I'm glad that you are here," he said.
Usually, she was the one saying that to other people. Hearing Han Bingwen say that makes her feel so happy.
"Though… I do wish the people that have hurt you and Xing-Fu, to suffer a world of pain for the rest of their lives," he added.
Lin Yu Yan chuckles and leans on his shoulder. "Thank you, Bingwen."
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Hua Shu Lan was having a blast. She was able to meet up with her friends on time for the festival night. Tonight was the first day of the Shing festival.
The festival is to celebrate winning the war and this is the tenth anniversary. It's also another reason to grieve and thank the people whose lives were lost in battle.
Han Shu Lan was having fun when one of her friends remember a rumor she heard the other day.
"Hey, hey… I heard you got in trouble the other day," said Li Feng. She is Hua Shu Lan's cousin from her father's side.
"Ugh, don't even mention it, Feng. It's going to kill my mood!" said Hua Shu Lan. "That ugly bitch is going to feel my rage!"
"I heard she was pretty," said Ji Run-Ming. His family is also part of the top ten strongest family clans but is at the bottom. He's a good friend and visiting for the festival.
"Tsk. She won't be pretty once I mess her up!" Hua Shu Lan said.
"Haha! I can't believe this girl doesn't know the daughter of the famous Hua family!" said Ma Li-Xue. He's a good friend in town, a little more privileged than others.
"There's this poor boy that has been hanging out with her too. Gosh, they are so annoying!" Hua Shu Lan said.
"Ah, the boy that belongs to the family that used to as great as you, right?" said Li Feng.
"I know where he lives with his stupid mother… should we mess their place up?" Ma Li-Xue suggested.
Hua Shu Lan thought for a second. "Hmm… I don't think we should do it… The boy may be annoying but… he didn't actually do anything to me…"
"Come on! Let's just let loose today!" said Ma Li-Xue, trying to persuade the girls.
"I don't think it's a good idea either…" said Ji Run-Ming.
"Haha, let's just go!" said Li Feng, dragging Hua Shu Lan and Ji Run-Ming together with Ma Li-Xue, to the poor boy's home.
------
It was dark outside and the three are sitting around the fire to keep warm. Surprisingly to them, they are still close enough to the town where the festival is located and could hear cheers and laughter.
Chen Xing-Fu somehow started remembering the times he and his mother used to have and because of the mood, he decided to tell Lin Yu Yan and Han Bingwen his past.
"My mother used to not be like that…" Chen Xing-Fu said.
Lin Yu Yan was holding Chen Xing-Fu in her arms and hugged him a little tighter.Find authorized novels in Webnovel，faster updates, better experience，Please click www.webnovel.com for visiting.
"She used to make food for me and we would often go on walks. But I remember one day, she came home angry. She started hitting me… I felt something weird and when I woke up, I had a bruise. It didn't go away after a while… then I received another beating about a year after.
And then they started to become frequent and it kept getting worse. I was in pain every day. She wouldn't even feed me and she stopped going outside. She told me people would likely give money to kids than adults so she made me beg on the streets day and night… sometimes when I make a lot, some bad people would notice and steal it away… then I would get beat up for being so weak."
Lin Yu Yan was listening carefully. Her story was quite similar to his.
"Then one day, the bad people followed me home… I think because I'm a child, they thought that I am storing a lot of money somewhere…
My mother was already mad at me so when she saw me, she was mad because she thought I brought them to bother her.
Next thing I know… they are lying face down on the ground with pools of blood around them… My mother is a monster," he said.
The wind gently blew around them, rustling the leaves on the trees as the fire still burns brightly.
"What are we going to do to your mother?" Lin Yu Yan asked.
"Eh?" Chen Xing-Fu was confused.
"Well… if this goes on, I might have to… kill her," said Lin Yu Yan.
Chen Xing-Fu's eyes widen and just realized how serious the situation was.
"I… I don't know. At times I wish she would go back to her old self but at this point…"
"It's okay…" said Lin Yu Yan after a moment of silence. She pats his head and rubbed his back.
Chen Xing-Fu cried in Lin Yu Yan's arms. It was until he fell asleep that he stopped crying. He breathed in a rhythmic pattern as sit around the fire.
"He's a lot like me," said Lin Yu Yan.
"Hmm…" replied Han Bingwen.
"I think that's why I'm so attached to him."
"Me too."
Then it was silent. The fire crackle as Han Bingwen moves to sit next to Lin Yu Yan and Chen Xing-Fu. He held her hand and rubbed Chen Xing-fu's head.
"...Let's take him with us," Han Bingwen suggested.
Lin Yu Yan was surprised. She didn't think he would say that.
"Are you sure? I mean… I- I mean WE are very dangerous people. Not that we are dangerous people, it's that we are in danger," she said.
"I think we can take care of him. Plus… there is no way I'm going to leave him here alone," said Han Bingwen.
"Me too… especially with his mother," said Lin Yu Yan.
Again it went silent. Then, because of the mood in the air, Lin Yu Yan wanted to talk about her feelings.
"Bingwen?" she called.
"Hmm?"
"You know when I killed my grandfather?"
"Yeah…"
"Well… I met them before I went to Wang palace that day. I visited my old home to try to get him and my uncle to work with me. At that time, I was furious so whatever deal we were going to make, I wasn't going to go through with it."
Han Bingwen was quiet, listening to every word.
"There request was surprising to me… All my life, I suffered in their hands and their request was the first time I thought they were humans. I was listening to their conversation before I entered and I guess after they carefully talked with each other, they were able to think of a good plan.
But that wasn't the reason I was surprised at the time… Did you know what they said to me?"
Lin Yu Yan's face went to sorrow. Han Bingwen was silent. He tightened up his grip to let her know he's there for her.
"They said they will turn themselves into my hands to save my cousin, Lu Tian Tian."
Han Bingwen's brows furrowed but Lin Yu Yan wasn't done talking.
"I was so jealous of her…. To have the love of these two people without even trying must feel great. She was lucky to have wonderful parents who loved her even with that shitty attitude.
I remember the days when we played together… We had so much fun. We were so innocently enjoying our life as children with adults panning horrible things to us. My mother was very strict with my training so I couldn't play with her as much as I wanted too.
Sadly… everything changed when I was kidnapped. Everything turned upside down.
The only person I had in my life was my mother and brother. But they also left me shortly after, leaving me alone in that lonely place. I was only a year younger Chen Xing-Fu's age when I last saw my mother and brother Sheng.
Then this body stayed there for another 10 years, hoping her father will someday get her out of there..."
Lin Yu Yan took in a deep breath, ready to let Han Bingwen know something she was scared to let him know. After all, only the Chu Emperor and Quan Su Wen knows this since they are in the same spot.
"Bingwen, Yu Yan had died."
He turned to face her quickly confused because she is in front of him. But her face says otherwise.
"I'm someone else… I am from a world very different than this, where supernatural powers do not exist… where most places are at peace."
"What…?" It was confusing but her voice has no hint of hatred and lies.
"I died in that world and was brought here. I died due to my best friend. She killed me because she had a misunderstanding. She thought her boyfriend and I were having an affair when really, I was just helping him find a present for her upcoming birthday.
But I guess the time I was spending with her boyfriend, who's also my best friend, made her jealous, resulting in my death.
The old Yu Yan has died in a very similar way as well. Lu Tian Tian shot an arrow and she wasn't able to dodge on time and the tip grazed her. It was laced with poison but that's not how she died… The pain she has been through was bottled up and released and her wish to not feel pain anymore became true...
Yu Yan died because of jealousy. Lu Tian Tian was jealous of her beauty, kindness, and love.
Before Yu Yan went away… she wanted me to avenge her parents since she thought they have passed, in exchange for taking over her body."
Han Bingwen was starting to make understand now.
"When we were at the Mo Pharmacy and you saved me from my uncle… The reason why it even happen was that my cousin was freaking out about why Yu Yan is not dead but… she did. And now I, Lin Yu Yan, resides in this body."
Han Bingwen turns back to face the fire.
"I was the one who didn't suffer through the gruesome things those people did. But I felt every emotion and pain through this body and sometimes I don't know what to do with it. These… family members are not my real family but I could feel happiness and sadness as if they were.
It's too weird… Now I have to make decisions in her stead… it feels wrong. I wanted to cut ties because I knew I would feel… well, guilty. Especially with Brother Sheng since… the reason why he feels reassure is because I made him feel that way. But I'm not his sister… his sister is dead.
I know it's not a big deal but I still can't help but have these feelings, that it should have been the other Yu Yan who should have still had this life, not me.
This was not supposed to be for me but… here I am. It's been about a year since I've been alive and I've met so many wonderful people but…
Because I don't want people to suffer like Yu Yan and me so I try to help as many people as possible even knowing that I can't save everybody…
I know so many people love me but… I can't but feel that this wasn't supposed to be mine and this feeling of guilt is getting to me. I didn't deserve all this love. That this was not meant for me."
It became silent. Han Bingwen heard her story. Lin Yu Yan took a lot of courage to say what's on her mind because she has never told anyone about how she felt when she was brought into this world.
She tightens her wrap around Chen Xing-Fu to calm herself, afraid of what Han Bingwen's response is. She didn't even look at him the whole time she spoke about her situation.
"The one I fell in love with was you. You made me feel this burning sensation in my heart. You make me feel alive. You make life enjoyable for me. You make people feel better. It's you that made all these people love you," said Han Bingwen.
Lin Yu Yan was quiet. Her fingers curl because it was making her cringe but at the same time, it was reassuring her.
"This happened because you made these decisions and now you are here. You made this possible and I'm glad that you are here," he said.
Usually, she was the one saying that to other people. Hearing Han Bingwen say that makes her feel so happy.
"Though… I do wish the people that have hurt you and Xing-Fu, to suffer a world of pain for the rest of their lives," he added.
Lin Yu Yan chuckles and leans on his shoulder. "Thank you, Bingwen."
Hua Shu Lan was having a blast. She was able to meet up with her friends on time for the festival night. Tonight was the first day of the Shing festival. The festival is to celebrate winning the war and this is the tenth anniversary. It's also another reason to grieve and thank the people whose lives were lost in battle. Han Shu Lan was having fun when one of her friends remember a rumor she heard the other day. "Hey, hey I heard you got in trouble the other day," said Li Feng. She is Hua Shu Lan's cousin from her father's side. "Ugh, don't even mention it, Feng. It's going to kill my mood!" said Hua Shu Lan. "That ugly bitch is going to feel my rage!" "I heard she was pretty," said Ji Run-Ming. His family is also part of the top ten strongest family clans but is at the bottom. He's a good friend and visiting for the festival. "Tsk. She won't be pretty once I mess her up!" Hua Shu Lan said. "Haha! I can't believe this girl doesn't know the daughter of the famous Hua family!" said Ma Li-Xue. He's a good friend in town, a little more privileged than others. "There's this poor boy that has been hanging out with her too. Gosh, they are so annoying!" Hua Shu Lan said. "Ah, the boy that belongs to the family that used to as great as you, right?" said Li Feng. "I know where he lives with his stupid mother should we mess their place up?"Ma Li-Xue suggested. Hua Shu Lan thought for a second. "Hmm I don't think we should do it The boy may be annoying but he didn't actually do anything to me" "Come on! Let's just let loose today!" said Ma Li-Xue, trying to persuade the girls. "I don't think it's a good idea either" said Ji Run-Ming. "Haha, let's just go!" said Li Feng, dragging Hua Shu Lan and Ji Run-Ming together with Ma Li-Xue, to the poor boy's home. ------ It was dark outside and the three are sitting around the fire to keep warm. Surprisingly to them, they are still close enough to the town where the festival is located and could hear cheers and laughter. Chen Xing-Fu somehow started remembering the times he and his mother used to have and because of the mood, he decided to tell Lin Yu Yan and Han Bingwen his past. "My mother used to not be like that" Chen Xing-Fu said. Lin Yu Yan was holding Chen Xing-Fu in her arms and hugged him a little tighter.Find authorized novels in Webnovelfaster updates, better experiencePlease click www.webnovel.com for visiting. "She used to make food for me and we would often go on walks. But I remember one day, she came home angry. She started hitting me I felt something weird and when I woke up, I had a bruise. It didn't go away after a while then I received another beating about a year after. And then they started to become frequent and it kept getting worse. I was in pain every day. She wouldn't even feed me and she stopped going outside. She told me people would likely give money to kids than adults so she made me beg on the streets day and night sometimes when I make a lot, some bad people would notice and steal it away then I would get beat up for being so weak." Lin Yu Yan was listening carefully. Her story was quite similar to his. "Then one day, the bad people followed me home I think because I'm a child, they thought that I am storing a lot of money somewhere My mother was already mad at me so when she saw me, she was mad because she thought I brought them to bother her. Next thing I know they are lying face down on the ground with pools of blood around them My mother is a monster," he said. The wind gently blew around them, rustling the leaves on the trees as the fire still burns brightly. "What are we going to do to your mother?" Lin Yu Yan asked. "Eh?" Chen Xing-Fu was confused. "Well if this goes on, I might have to kill her," said Lin Yu Yan. Chen Xing-Fu's eyes widen and just realized how serious the situation was. "I I don't know. At times I wish she would go back to her old self but at this point" "It's okay" said Lin Yu Yan after a moment of silence. She pats his head and rubbed his back. Chen Xing-Fu cried in Lin Yu Yan's arms. It was until he fell asleep that he stopped crying. He breathed in a rhythmic pattern as sit around the fire. "He's a lot like me," said Lin Yu Yan. "Hmm" replied Han Bingwen. "I think that's why I'm so attached to him." "Me too." Then it was silent. The fire crackle as Han Bingwen moves to sit next to Lin Yu Yan and Chen Xing-Fu. He held her hand and rubbed Chen Xing-fu's head. "...Let's take him with us," Han Bingwen suggested. Lin Yu Yan was surprised. She didn't think he would say that. "Are you sure? I mean I- I mean WE are very dangerous people. Not that we are dangerous people, it's that we are in danger," she said. "I think we can take care of him. Plus there is no way I'm going to leave him here alone," said Han Bingwen. "Me too especially with his mother," said Lin Yu Yan. Again it went silent. Then, because of the mood in the air, Lin Yu Yan wanted to talk about her feelings. "Bingwen?" she called. "Hmm?" "You know when I killed my grandfather?" "Yeah" "Well I met them before I went to Wang palace that day. I visited my old home to try to get him and my uncle to work with me. At that time, I was furious so whatever deal we were going to make, I wasn't going to go through with it." Han Bingwen was quiet, listening to every word. "There request was surprising to me All my life, I suffered in their hands and their request was the first time I thought they were humans. I was listening to their conversation before I entered and I guess after they carefully talked with each other, they were able to think of a good plan. But that wasn't the reason I was surprised at the time Did you know what they said to me?" Lin Yu Yan's face went to sorrow. Han Bingwen was silent. He tightened up his grip to let her know he's there for her. "They said they will turn themselves into my hands to save my cousin, Lu Tian Tian." Han Bingwen's brows furrowed but Lin Yu Yan wasn't done talking. "I was so jealous of her. To have the love of these two people without even trying must feel great. She was lucky to have wonderful parents who loved her even with that shitty attitude. I remember the days when we played together We had so much fun. We were so innocently enjoying our life as children with adults panning horrible things to us. My mother was very strict with my training so I couldn't play with her as much as I wanted too. Sadly everything changed when I was kidnapped. Everything turned upside down. The only person I had in my life was my mother and brother. But they also left me shortly after, leaving me alone in that lonely place. I was only a year younger Chen Xing-Fu's age when I last saw my mother and brother Sheng. Then this body stayed there for another 10 years, hoping her father will someday get her out of there..." Lin Yu Yan took in a deep breath, ready to let Han Bingwen know something she was scared to let him know. After all, only the Chu Emperor and Quan Su Wen knows this since they are in the same spot. "Bingwen, Yu Yan had died." He turned to face her quickly confused because she is in front of him. But her face says otherwise. "I'm someone else I am from a world very different than this, where supernatural powers do not exist where most places are at peace." "What?" It was confusing but her voice has no hint of hatred and lies. "I died in that world and was brought here. I died due to my best friend. She killed me because she had a misunderstanding. She thought her boyfriend and I were having an affair when really, I was just helping him find a present for her upcoming birthday. But I guess the time I was spending with her boyfriend, who's also my best friend, made her jealous, resulting in my death. The old Yu Yan has died in a very similar way as well. Lu Tian Tian shot an arrow and she wasn't able to dodge on time and the tip grazed her. It was laced with poison but that's not how she died The pain she has been through was bottled up and released and her wish to not feel pain anymore became true... Yu Yan died because of jealousy. Lu Tian Tian was jealous of her beauty, kindness, and love. Before Yu Yan went away she wanted me to avenge her parents since she thought they have passed, in exchange for taking over her body." Han Bingwen was starting to make understand now. "When we were at the Mo Pharmacy and you saved me from my uncle The reason why it even happen was that my cousin was freaking out about why Yu Yan is not dead but she did. And now I, Lin Yu Yan, resides in this body." Han Bingwen turns back to face the fire. "I was the one who didn't suffer through the gruesome things those people did. But I felt every emotion and pain through this body and sometimes I don't know what to do with it. These family members are not my real family but I could feel happiness and sadness as if they were. It's too weird Now I have to make decisions in her stead it feels wrong. Iwanted to cut ties because I knew I would feel well, guilty. Especially with Brother Sheng since the reason why he feels reassure is because I made him feel that way. But I'm not his sister his sister is dead. I know it's not a big deal but I still can't help but have these feelings, that it should have been the other Yu Yan who should have still had this life, not me. This was not supposed to be for me but here I am. It's been about a year since I've been alive and I've met so many wonderful people but Because I don't want people to suffer like Yu Yan and me so I try to help as many people as possible even knowing that I can't save everybody I know so many people love me but I can't but feel that this wasn't supposed to be mine and this feeling of guilt is getting to me.I didn't deserve all this love. That this was not meant for me." It became silent. Han Bingwen heard her story. Lin Yu Yan took a lot of courage to say what's on her mind because she has never told anyone about how she felt when she was brought into this world. She tightens her wrap around Chen Xing-Fu to calm herself, afraid of what Han Bingwen's response is. She didn't even look at him the whole time she spoke about her situation. "The one I fell in love with was you. You made me feel this burning sensation in my heart. You make me feel alive. You make life enjoyable for me. You make people feel better. It's you that made all these people love you," said Han Bingwen. Lin Yu Yan was quiet. Her fingers curl because it was making her cringe but at the same time, it was reassuring her. "This happened because you made these decisions and now you are here.You made this possible and I'm glad that you are here," he said. Usually, she was the one saying that to other people. Hearing Han Bingwen say that makes her feel so happy. "Though I do wish the people that have hurt you and Xing-Fu, to suffer a world of pain for the rest of their lives," he added. Lin Yu Yan chuckles and leans on his shoulder. "Thank you, Bingwen."
