Apple nibbled on a dipping fern, its bristled edges doing little more than to tickle at my horse’s taste buds as he consumed them as readily as he carried me.
He was spoiled for choice.
Within the eastern forests of my kingdom, leaves brushed against one another to a gentle chorus. The light danced between the canopy, teasing shy dormice and curious squirrels from nests hidden within the noble oaks. And should his throat become parched from the endless feast, a meandering stream sang a lullaby as sweet as the songbirds flittering between the branches.
I nodded and smiled.
Few things surpassed the beauty of my kingdom. I was all of them. But since I was also far too busy to be ogled, the forests of my homeland were a worthy substitute.
Though the road to Stermondt was long and arduous, I was gifted with more than a loyal handmaiden and a horse whose only priority was to very, very safely carry me to my destination. The very land itself bowed to me, offering a carpet of spilled leaves and fluttering sunlight to soften my path.
Especially when Coppelia was the one primarily causing it.
“Hup … hup … hup~”
Dancing like a seasoned acrobat, the clockwork doll elegantly manoeuvred amongst the ancient oaks. Her nimble form scarcely permitted the branches to dip before she twisted, pirouetted or hopped, each movement as light and graceful as the squirrels she taunted by chasing.
Only the drifting foliage and the flickers of sunlight between the disturbed leaves offered any indication that she was amongst the treeline, valiantly guarding me against the cyclops bats which doubtless resided in the canopy.
Seeing her like this, I couldn’t fail to be reminded of my first time meeting her, sitting upon a branch as she swung her legs.
Then, just like now, she showed impressive mastery of footwork and balance.
In short … she was training the most important skills necessary to become the perfect handmaiden!
My, to think that even in our rare times of quiet, she refused to forsake her duties! That she’d diligently train her core balance to ensure her tea pot carrying services were unmatched was more than I could have hoped for!
She was already well on her way to replacing every other servant in the Royal Villa!
“Nope~”
“Hmm?”
“Nope. Whatever you’re thinking, the answer is nope.”
“E-Excuse me! You have little idea of what grand designs I’m thinking! I carry the weight of my kingdom’s prosperity in my mind at all times!”
“Still nope. I’ve seen that look before. Usually just before you do this.”
Coppelia raised a hand to her lips, then performed the most scandalous smile I’d ever witnessed before.
“Ohohoho.”
I was utterly aghast.
Not only did she still need significant work on her laugh, but my smile was nothing like that! … Why, it was far more overbearing!
Indeed, my smile was a blueprint drawn from an architect’s hand to highlight the gulf between myself and whichever soiled dignitary sat opposite me at the Royal Villa’s dining table.
“We shall work on your laugh. And also your smile. Both need significant polish. What doesn’t, however, is your form. If you must know, I was merely admiring it.”
Coppelia gracefully skipped across a branch, landing with a spinning twist. She didn’t even need to balance her arms out.
“Admire away~ I’m pretty good, huh?”
“Please, Coppelia. As my personal handmaiden, modesty is beneath you.”
“Okay, fine. I’m super amazing.”
“Better. As a trained dancer myself, I can also vouch for that. How do you navigate the thin branches so seamlessly? Is it a result of training, natural talent or your clockwork nature?”
“Big angry trees.”
“Excuse me?”
“It’s the result of big angry trees. Remember how I said the library’s next to an enchanted forest? Well, if you don’t learn to skip, you learn to be eaten. And let me tell you, trees are slow eaters. It’s not nice.”
Any curiosity I had failed to surface.
Frankly, hearing anything about that land of oddballs only invited the reappearance of an old headache. Yet I suppose there was also room for gratefulness.
Why, if not for the falling pianos and murderous trees, Coppelia might never have learned the requisite skills required to prepare, balance and pour multiple teapots at the same time.
“I wasn’t aware that trees possessed the jaws required to eat.”
“Neither did that last set of tourists. I had to offer a refund afterwards.”
“They survived?”
“No, I mean to their next-of-kin.”
“Oh.”
“Still, I’ve always been pretty good on my feet. I bet I could even join a travelling troupe!”
I didn’t need to give it a moment’s thought.
“A monumental waste of your talents.”
“True. But I bet I’d be amazing. Have you ever seen one of their shows?”
I scoffed at the very suggestion.
“Of course not. Travelling troupes all boast poor renown. They are jesters constantly fleeing from the rotten fruit thrown at their backs, hired only occasionally by nobility as low-brow entertainment during tournaments and feasts.”
“I thought jesters would be your thing. You know, someone to mock.”
“Please, Coppelia. My life is inundated with jesters. Barely a day passes where some upstart baron from the countryside doesn’t seek to instigate rebellion against my family. I don’t need more.”
“I mean, at least these ones won’t try to betray you on a national scale. Probably.”
“The scale is irrelevant. All members of travelling troupes can be trusted to beguile with one hand while looting with the other. They are known thieves and scoundrels with no place in this kingdom.”
“... Hmmmmm, by any chance, did you watch a really bad show and couldn’t get a refund afterwards?”
“As I said, I’ve never had the displeasure. My father has, though. Although that only seems to amuse him. Were he not occasionally entertained by their antics, I’d insist on their ban altogether. There are enough hoodlums in this kingdom without professional circuses playing host to them as well.”
“Soooooooooo … I’m guessing you wouldn’t like it if I pointed ahead while smiling meaningfully?”
My palms immediately found my face. Still, it was too late.
In that briefest of moments, I witnessed Coppelia … yes, pointing ahead and smiling meaningfully.
“... Is there a circus filled with jesters ahead, Coppelia?”
Her response was to giggle. A sound I’d fail to block even if the hands of all my siblings helped to cover them.
I peeked through my fingertips.
Yes, no matter where I looked, the verdant colours of my kingdom sparkled before me like an ocean horizon. A sight broken only by the blot of the occasional peasant and the odd fruit slime bouncing away from them.
Yet as horrifying it was to occasionally share the road with passing farmers and the critters they chased away, few things invoked as much horror in me than an innocuous wooden sign planted to the side of the road. A galette des rois à la frangipane served as a mignardise instead of a dessert was one of them. But at least I could toss the previous head chef’s final disgrace beneath the table.
This, I'd struggle to fit.
Although I’d still make it work.
I tugged Apple to a halt and peered at the sign.
Someday, I’d meet a sign which declared the way ahead was unobstructed and clear.
That day … was still not today.
By the generosity of BARON and BARONESS TALBRENT of the town of Moorswey, the world famous CIRQUE DU SABLE is hosting a festival EXTRAVAGANZA. Do NOT miss out on this ADVENTURE of MAGIC and WONDER!
FREE ENTRY to all adults and children!
(Individual attractions may require payment)
I groaned.
Of course. Only the countryside barony would be idiotic enough to play host to a travelling troupe. Any economic benefits were cancelled out by the loss of reputation and rampant theft alone. But for nobility already on the fringes of relevance, they had little of either to lose.
“The sign says not to miss out,” said Coppelia, managing to read the sign before I did, despite being perched on a branch. “I think we should listen to the sign.”
I immediately encouraged Apple to resume his trot, ignoring the path that had clearly been dug up to accommodate wherever this circus had planted itself.
“Neither our important journey, nor the schedule attached to it allows for respites greater than what is strictly necessary. A detour to mock the local barony as they regret inviting a mob of ill-trained rogues into their midst is amusing, but redundant for saving my kingdom.”
“Boooooooooooooooooooooooo~”
“Really now! You come from a land where a simple walk invites death defying acts to surpass whatever these overpaid buffoons would do. What could they boast which would interest you?”
“Frost mammoths.”
“Excuse me?”
“We don’t have any frost mammoths in Ouzelia. Not since they migrated.”
“Well, they certainly didn’t migrate here. My kingdom is far too temperate. We have no mammoths, frost or otherwise.”
The leaves above me stopped swaying.
I glanced up to see that Coppelia had paused, her hands to her brows as she leaned forwards, eyes narrowed.
“You’re right. I don’t think these are frost mammoths. They have smaller tusks which are mainly used for hunting yetis. These ones are bigger and used for carving out mountain valleys. I think they’re giant frost mammoths.”
Once more, I tugged Apple to a stop.
And then–
I threw up my arms in equal parts outrage and exasperation.
“What are these clowns bringing into my kingdom?!”
Apple nibbled on a dipping fern, its bristled edges doing little more than to tickle at my horse’s taste buds as he consumed them as readily as he carried me.
He was spoiled for choice.
Within the eastern forests of my kingdom, leaves brushed against one another to a gentle chorus. The light danced between the canopy, teasing shy dormice and curious squirrels from nests hidden within the noble oaks. And should his throat become parched from the endless feast, a meandering stream sang a lullaby as sweet as the songbirds flittering between the branches.
I nodded and smiled.
Few things surpassed the beauty of my kingdom. I was all of them. But since I was also far too busy to be ogled, the forests of my homeland were a worthy substitute.
Though the road to Stermondt was long and arduous, I was gifted with more than a loyal handmaiden and a horse whose only priority was to very, very safely carry me to my destination. The very land itself bowed to me, offering a carpet of spilled leaves and fluttering sunlight to soften my path.
Especially when Coppelia was the one primarily causing it.
“Hup … hup … hup~”
Dancing like a seasoned acrobat, the clockwork doll elegantly manoeuvred amongst the ancient oaks. Her nimble form scarcely permitted the branches to dip before she twisted, pirouetted or hopped, each movement as light and graceful as the squirrels she taunted by chasing.
Only the drifting foliage and the flickers of sunlight between the disturbed leaves offered any indication that she was amongst the treeline, valiantly guarding me against the cyclops bats which doubtless resided in the canopy.
Seeing her like this, I couldn’t fail to be reminded of my first time meeting her, sitting upon a branch as she swung her legs.
Then, just like now, she showed impressive mastery of footwork and balance.
In short … she was training the most important skills necessary to become the perfect handmaiden!
My, to think that even in our rare times of quiet, she refused to forsake her duties! That she’d diligently train her core balance to ensure her tea pot carrying services were unmatched was more than I could have hoped for!
She was already well on her way to replacing every other servant in the Royal Villa!
“Nope~”
“Hmm?”
“Nope. Whatever you’re thinking, the answer is nope.”
“E-Excuse me! You have little idea of what grand designs I’m thinking! I carry the weight of my kingdom’s prosperity in my mind at all times!”
“Still nope. I’ve seen that look before. Usually just before you do this.”
Coppelia raised a hand to her lips, then performed the most scandalous smile I’d ever witnessed before.
“Ohohoho.”
I was utterly aghast.
Not only did she still need significant work on her laugh, but my smile was nothing like that! … Why, it was far more overbearing!
Indeed, my smile was a blueprint drawn from an architect’s hand to highlight the gulf between myself and whichever soiled dignitary sat opposite me at the Royal Villa’s dining table.
“We shall work on your laugh. And also your smile. Both need significant polish. What doesn’t, however, is your form. If you must know, I was merely admiring it.”
Coppelia gracefully skipped across a branch, landing with a spinning twist. She didn’t even need to balance her arms out.
“Admire away~ I’m pretty good, huh?”
“Please, Coppelia. As my personal handmaiden, modesty is beneath you.”
“Okay, fine. I’m super amazing.”
“Better. As a trained dancer myself, I can also vouch for that. How do you navigate the thin branches so seamlessly? Is it a result of training, natural talent or your clockwork nature?”
“Big angry trees.”
“Excuse me?”
“It’s the result of big angry trees. Remember how I said the library’s next to an enchanted forest? Well, if you don’t learn to skip, you learn to be eaten. And let me tell you, trees are slow eaters. It’s not nice.”
Any curiosity I had failed to surface.
Frankly, hearing anything about that land of oddballs only invited the reappearance of an old headache. Yet I suppose there was also room for gratefulness.
Why, if not for the falling pianos and murderous trees, Coppelia might never have learned the requisite skills required to prepare, balance and pour multiple teapots at the same time.
“I wasn’t aware that trees possessed the jaws required to eat.”
“Neither did that last set of tourists. I had to offer a refund afterwards.”
“They survived?”
“No, I mean to their next-of-kin.”
“Oh.”
“Still, I’ve always been pretty good on my feet. I bet I could even join a travelling troupe!”
I didn’t need to give it a moment’s thought.
“A monumental waste of your talents.”
“True. But I bet I’d be amazing. Have you ever seen one of their shows?”
I scoffed at the very suggestion.
“Of course not. Travelling troupes all boast poor renown. They are jesters constantly fleeing from the rotten fruit thrown at their backs, hired only occasionally by nobility as low-brow entertainment during tournaments and feasts.”
“I thought jesters would be your thing. You know, someone to mock.”
“Please, Coppelia. My life is inundated with jesters. Barely a day passes where some upstart baron from the countryside doesn’t seek to instigate rebellion against my family. I don’t need more.”
“I mean, at least these ones won’t try to betray you on a national scale. Probably.”
“The scale is irrelevant. All members of travelling troupes can be trusted to beguile with one hand while looting with the other. They are known thieves and scoundrels with no place in this kingdom.”
“... Hmmmmm, by any chance, did you watch a really bad show and couldn’t get a refund afterwards?”
“As I said, I’ve never had the displeasure. My father has, though. Although that only seems to amuse him. Were he not occasionally entertained by their antics, I’d insist on their ban altogether. There are enough hoodlums in this kingdom without professional circuses playing host to them as well.”
“Soooooooooo … I’m guessing you wouldn’t like it if I pointed ahead while smiling meaningfully?”
My palms immediately found my face. Still, it was too late.
In that briefest of moments, I witnessed Coppelia … yes, pointing ahead and smiling meaningfully.
“... Is there a circus filled with jesters ahead, Coppelia?”
Her response was to giggle. A sound I’d fail to block even if the hands of all my siblings helped to cover them.
I peeked through my fingertips.
Yes, no matter where I looked, the verdant colours of my kingdom sparkled before me like an ocean horizon. A sight broken only by the blot of the occasional peasant and the odd fruit slime bouncing away from them.
Yet as horrifying it was to occasionally share the road with passing farmers and the critters they chased away, few things invoked as much horror in me than an innocuous wooden sign planted to the side of the road. A galette des rois à la frangipane served as a mignardise instead of a dessert was one of them. But at least I could toss the previous head chef’s final disgrace beneath the table.
This, I'd struggle to fit.
Although I’d still make it work.
I tugged Apple to a halt and peered at the sign.
Someday, I’d meet a sign which declared the way ahead was unobstructed and clear.
That day … was still not today.
By the generosity of BARON and BARONESS TALBRENT of the town of Moorswey, the world famous CIRQUE DU SABLE is hosting a festival EXTRAVAGANZA. Do NOT miss out on this ADVENTURE of MAGIC and WONDER!
FREE ENTRY to all adults and children!
(Individual attractions may require payment)
I groaned.
Of course. Only the countryside barony would be idiotic enough to play host to a travelling troupe. Any economic benefits were cancelled out by the loss of reputation and rampant theft alone. But for nobility already on the fringes of relevance, they had little of either to lose.
“The sign says not to miss out,” said Coppelia, managing to read the sign before I did, despite being perched on a branch. “I think we should listen to the sign.”
I immediately encouraged Apple to resume his trot, ignoring the path that had clearly been dug up to accommodate wherever this circus had planted itself.
“Neither our important journey, nor the schedule attached to it allows for respites greater than what is strictly necessary. A detour to mock the local barony as they regret inviting a mob of ill-trained rogues into their midst is amusing, but redundant for saving my kingdom.”
“Boooooooooooooooooooooooo~”
“Really now! You come from a land where a simple walk invites death defying acts to surpass whatever these overpaid buffoons would do. What could they boast which would interest you?”
“Frost mammoths.”
“Excuse me?”
“We don’t have any frost mammoths in Ouzelia. Not since they migrated.”
“Well, they certainly didn’t migrate here. My kingdom is far too temperate. We have no mammoths, frost or otherwise.”
The leaves above me stopped swaying.
I glanced up to see that Coppelia had paused, her hands to her brows as she leaned forwards, eyes narrowed.
“You’re right. I don’t think these are frost mammoths. They have smaller tusks which are mainly used for hunting yetis. These ones are bigger and used for carving out mountain valleys. I think they’re giant frost mammoths.”
Once more, I tugged Apple to a stop.
And then–
I threw up my arms in equal parts outrage and exasperation.
“What are these clowns bringing into my kingdom?!”
