Apple trotted at a leisurely pace along the road towards the royal capital.
Having permitted Coppelia to see to the minor details of ensuring I did not starve to death on the road north, I rewarded the clockwork doll by allowing her to occasionally lighten Apple's load by gorging on the provisions she'd secured from a common bakery in Rolstein.
It was hardly the grand feast that accompanied me whenever I rode in a royal procession. The stale shortcake I chewed on would have served as a fine insult if offered at a soirée, its withered strawberry an excellent metaphor for the wrinkled ambitions of those who regularly attended these things.
Even so, it was sufficient for my purposes. A testimony to my humble nature and a complete lack of anything else to eat.
No … my only problem was that bakery products did not seem conducive to encouraging Apple to break into a gallop.
As I leaned forwards to hand over the last of my disappointing shortcake to the horse, he simply gobbled it up without a thought. And still, without slowing or quickening.
His leisurely pace remained a leisurely pace.
So much so, that Coppelia was content to yawn while walking alongside us.
Despite the seriousness of the situation, I could neither poke nor bribe the horse into sharing my sense of urgency. The apples I used to encourage him simply disappeared into the void that was his mouth, and that leisurely pace remained his one and only speed—whether he was carrying me alongside a smattering of small pouches filled with fruit, or many saddlebags laden with cakes, crêpes and sweetbreads.
I leaned back, furrowing my brow as I contrived a method to convince Apple of my need for promptness.
Then, I glanced at Coppelia.
Indeed, her shoulders looked very strong ...
“Coppelia—”
“Nope.”
She tossed the last morsel of a cinnamon roll into the air, before catching it with her open mouth like some ocean leviathan breaching the waves, maw stretched wide.
Ugh. I'd need to teach her about etiquette. But first, I'd need to teach her about kowtowing.
“E-Excuse me! You did not even know what I was going to request! Nor should it matter. Why, as my future handmaiden, you should be practising meeting all of my impractical demands with poise, grace, and a quivering smile as you fear for the well-being of your younger siblings should you be dismissed from my well paying service!”
“Eh? I'd get paid?”
I nodded, shocked that she'd even consider otherwise. What was I, if not as generous and benevolent an employer as I was a princess?
“Naturally. We do not abide indentured servitude in this kingdom. As a member of my personal retinue, you would be privy to a host of benefits, one of which is exceptional remuneration for your time.”
Coppelia looked stunned.
For a moment, I wondered why the concept of me paying her seemed to flabbergast her so much. Then I realised that Ouzelia was a land of oddballs.
Although I was unfamiliar with a handmaiden's salary in that faraway land, perhaps being paid for her services was an exotic concept? Was it a position of honour from which no crowns was demanded?
Why, if that was the case, then she must view me as a shining ray of light pouring through a stained glass window!
“Really?” she said, both her voice and expression deeply astonished. “You actually pay your goons? You don't just … I dunno, call them your attendants or handmaidens and then forget everything else? Like how they feed themselves?”
I raised an eyebrow in puzzlement.
“What? Of course not. That sounds highly unworkable. I require my servants to be alive in order to answer my whims. How can they continue to disappoint me without coin for their basic sustenance?”
“Oh, that makes sense now.” Coppelia reached for her designated bakery bag. She pulled out a blueberry muffin. “Well, it doesn't interest me in the slightest, but how much is a handmaiden's pay these days?”
My lips parted to reply.
Strangely, no words came out.
“H-Hm? Apologies, did you ask something?”
“Mmh! I asked how much a handmaiden's pay is.”
Again, my lips parted. And yet the answer that I expected my extensive knowledge of the kingdom's administrative functions to provide didn't materialise.
I sat up rigidly atop Apple's back as my mind drew a blank.
Hmm?
How … How much did I pay my expendable servants again … ?
“Oh … Ohohoho!! My fair Coppelia, if you're asking what the worth is in serving my noble cause, then it's in the joy of achieving triumph over those who would bring harm to the destitute, the innocent, and the pillow manufacturers of the kingdom!”
“No, I'm definitely not asking that.” Coppelia beamed, then with half a blueberry muffin in her mouth, patted the saddle which contained my looted … my payment as a newly inducted adventurer. “This stuff here? How many crowns would I get as a handmaiden? Say, on a monthly basis? If I worked from dusk to dawn, each day of the week, with an hour long lunch break and the possibility of on-call assignments?”
Gosh.
Apple really must be toiling beneath the weight of these added provisions. Through the unbreakable bond between rider and horse, I could feel myself sweating on his behalf.
“The … um, the rate is negotiable.”
“Hmm? That's wonderful. So it's based on experience?”
“A-And merit! Therefore, a retainer who serves me loyally and asks few to zero questions regarding their financial reimbursement would be assured of a highly competitive salary.”
After a pause to consider my thorough answer, Coppelia offered a lazy smile.
“Okie~”
I turned away and sucked in a deep breath.
That … That was close!
Had Coppelia realised that I had no idea how much the servants I pushed around were being paid, it would have looked terrible on my behalf! Here I was, securing this kingdom's finances, when I wasn't even aware of how little I was paying my own attendants!
I coughed, bringing the topic back to something less dangerous.
Namely, how Coppelia could expedite this journey.
“As … As I was saying, you were not aware of what request I was going to make. Now, you may recall that carrying me in emergency situations was a potential duty when by my side?”
“Mmh, you're right. I have no idea what you're going to ask me.”
“Well, expedience is the best approach to averting calamity. As Apple is clearly unconcerned with the political ramifications of civil strife tearing down the kingdom's apple orchards, I believe that use of your robust strength to carry me to the capital is in our vested interest.”
Coppelia swallowed the rest of her blueberry muffin.
I wasn't even sure if she chewed.
“I'm an assistant librarian. I carry books. Sometimes. I don't carry people. Their spines are too easy to break.”
Apple briefly paused, as though joining me in my slight confusion. I considered which perplexed me more. Coppelia's ability to devour foodstuffs with abandon. Or her odd wording regarding breaking human spines.
I decided to ignore both.
For now.
“I … I see. That's … certainly a valid concern. My apologies. I mistook your prudence for my safety as a simple desire to not have me straddling your shoulders.”
“How about we trade? Let me sit on your shoulders, and you can sit on mine.”
My mouth fell open. The indignity of the question! Did she not realise how rude it was to ask someone if they could sit on them?
“E-Excuse me! Just what are you asking a …. I mean, I'm not a horse!”
Coppelia raised an eyebrow at me, then set her sights on Apple.
“I've never actually sat on a horse before, either.”
“What?”
“How is it? Very uncomfortable? Or just mildly uncomfortable? I've always wanted to try, but I also figured I'd get bored quickly.”
I was stunned.
Coppelia had never sat on a horse before? Cogs or not, it was scarcely believable that someone would eschew the joy of riding to instead walk like some freshly robbed merchant.
And she said she was from Ouzelia? If so, how did she come to Tirea?
“It's comfortable, provided you have a saddle that's tailored to both you and the horse, as well as a soft road and a softer touch.”
“That saddle doesn't look particularly special, the road is 100% dirt and stones and the horse looks like it needs to be actively bribed to move anywhere.”
I bit my lips.
“Experiences may vary.”
Coppelia let out a faint giggle. She looked at Apple with renewed interest.
I could feel him trotting slightly away.
“Hmm … I suppose there's no reason not to experience it. I've just never had the need to. Can I try now?”
“Now?”
“Sure.” Coppelia spread her arms wide, then twirled on the spot. “There's no one around to be run down by my fierce skills as an aspiring squire.”
I winced. She would need to be taught more than basic equestrian skills before she could become an aspiring squire. To join the knightly ranks in any capacity was an arduous task, requiring feats of chivalry and strength to be attained as a mere prerequisite.
She had strength, true. But until the day she carried me from danger, then stayed behind to heroically sacrifice herself while pleading at me to flee while stating that my life was worth more than hers, she did not meet my minimum standards of chivalry expected of a knight.
“My, I'm delighted that you'd discover your curiosity upon seeing me riding a horse. However, few can do so as easily as me. I was raised to ride from a young age.”
“I can learn!”
“An excellent aptitude to have. But to ride a horse requires a horse, and unfortunately, I'm using the only one currently available. If you wish to experience riding, then I can personally show you to some excellent stables in the capital.”
“Great.”
“After we've scoured the streets clean of crime, that is.”
“Got it. Say, could you scoot over for a moment?”
“Hmm? What do you—hieee?!”
Coppelia placed her hand on the side of the saddle.
Then, to my utter horror, she promptly flung herself over.
Without a single care in the world, this girl acrobatically hopped onto the moving … well, slow moving horse, and perched herself behind me. Ignoring the saddle, she sat with both legs dangling off one side, as though a horse's back was merely a swing that she could hop on and off at any moment.
“What a curious feeling,” she hummed. “Is it normal for the horse to feel this warm?”
“Yes! Yes it is!”
“Oh.” Coppelia paused. “It feels a little gross.”
She invited an unseemly fall as she stretched her legs out. Having seen her otherworldly agility at work, I was pained to know that this was unlikely.
I tightly gripped Apple's reins, ready to calm him to ease the sudden burden of the unexpected weight.
He didn't so much as snort. He just … kept trotting along.
Frankly, I was amazed at how little fazed this horse. Was the addition of another figure on his back no different than an extra bundle of hay on his cart?
Even so, this was far too irresponsible! A horse was no peasant, free to sit or step on as required! You could not do with a horse's back as you pleased!
“Coppelia! A horse is not some circus plaything! You cannot just jump onto a moving animal! You may very easily startle it!”
“Really? I see people jumping on horses all the time in Ouzelia.”
“What?! Who?!”
“Heroes.” Coppelia shrugged. “We have a lot of them. They can't really climb on horses properly anymore. They have to jump on them, or fall on them from an open window.”
I pressed my palm to my face.
When this was all done and dusted, one of the first things I'd do would be to sever all diplomatic contact with that land of eccentrics.
“Why in goodness would people have to jump on horses?”
“It helps the day go by faster. When you jump on a horse, something dramatic has to happen.”
“Really now,” I said, rolling my eyes. “And have you spotted anything dramatic so far?”
“A large group of trolls are blocking the bridge up ahead.”
I glanced behind at Coppelia, frown in hand. She was ready for me, pointing ahead with enthusiasm.
Turning back, I looked ahead and winced at the large, grey dots seeming to interrupt the flow of an otherwise unbroken, shimmering blue river.
Then, I sniffed the air and groaned.
Trolls.
… Why couldn't it have been dragons?
Apple trotted at a leisurely pace along the road towards the royal capital.
Having permitted Coppelia to see to the minor details of ensuring I did not starve to death on the road north, I rewarded the clockwork doll by allowing her to occasionally lighten Apple's load by gorging on the provisions she'd secured from a common bakery in Rolstein.
It was hardly the grand feast that accompanied me whenever I rode in a royal procession. The stale shortcake I chewed on would have served as a fine insult if offered at a soirée, its withered strawberry an excellent metaphor for the wrinkled ambitions of those who regularly attended these things.
Even so, it was sufficient for my purposes. A testimony to my humble nature and a complete lack of anything else to eat.
No … my only problem was that bakery products did not seem conducive to encouraging Apple to break into a gallop.
As I leaned forwards to hand over the last of my disappointing shortcake to the horse, he simply gobbled it up without a thought. And still, without slowing or quickening.
His leisurely pace remained a leisurely pace.
So much so, that Coppelia was content to yawn while walking alongside us.
Despite the seriousness of the situation, I could neither poke nor bribe the horse into sharing my sense of urgency. The apples I used to encourage him simply disappeared into the void that was his mouth, and that leisurely pace remained his one and only speed—whether he was carrying me alongside a smattering of small pouches filled with fruit, or many saddlebags laden with cakes, crêpes and sweetbreads.
I leaned back, furrowing my brow as I contrived a method to convince Apple of my need for promptness.
Then, I glanced at Coppelia.
Indeed, her shoulders looked very strong ...
“Coppelia—”
“Nope.”
She tossed the last morsel of a cinnamon roll into the air, before catching it with her open mouth like some ocean leviathan breaching the waves, maw stretched wide.
Ugh. I'd need to teach her about etiquette. But first, I'd need to teach her about kowtowing.
“E-Excuse me! You did not even know what I was going to request! Nor should it matter. Why, as my future handmaiden, you should be practising meeting all of my impractical demands with poise, grace, and a quivering smile as you fear for the well-being of your younger siblings should you be dismissed from my well paying service!”
“Eh? I'd get paid?”
I nodded, shocked that she'd even consider otherwise. What was I, if not as generous and benevolent an employer as I was a princess?
“Naturally. We do not abide indentured servitude in this kingdom. As a member of my personal retinue, you would be privy to a host of benefits, one of which is exceptional remuneration for your time.”
Coppelia looked stunned.
For a moment, I wondered why the concept of me paying her seemed to flabbergast her so much. Then I realised that Ouzelia was a land of oddballs.
Although I was unfamiliar with a handmaiden's salary in that faraway land, perhaps being paid for her services was an exotic concept? Was it a position of honour from which no crowns was demanded?
Why, if that was the case, then she must view me as a shining ray of light pouring through a stained glass window!
“Really?” she said, both her voice and expression deeply astonished. “You actually pay your goons? You don't just … I dunno, call them your attendants or handmaidens and then forget everything else? Like how they feed themselves?”
I raised an eyebrow in puzzlement.
“What? Of course not. That sounds highly unworkable. I require my servants to be alive in order to answer my whims. How can they continue to disappoint me without coin for their basic sustenance?”
“Oh, that makes sense now.” Coppelia reached for her designated bakery bag. She pulled out a blueberry muffin. “Well, it doesn't interest me in the slightest, but how much is a handmaiden's pay these days?”
My lips parted to reply.
Strangely, no words came out.
“H-Hm? Apologies, did you ask something?”
“Mmh! I asked how much a handmaiden's pay is.”
Again, my lips parted. And yet the answer that I expected my extensive knowledge of the kingdom's administrative functions to provide didn't materialise.
I sat up rigidly atop Apple's back as my mind drew a blank.
Hmm?
How … How much did I pay my expendable servants again … ?
“Oh … Ohohoho!! My fair Coppelia, if you're asking what the worth is in serving my noble cause, then it's in the joy of achieving triumph over those who would bring harm to the destitute, the innocent, and the pillow manufacturers of the kingdom!”
“No, I'm definitely not asking that.” Coppelia beamed, then with half a blueberry muffin in her mouth, patted the saddle which contained my looted … my payment as a newly inducted adventurer. “This stuff here? How many crowns would I get as a handmaiden? Say, on a monthly basis? If I worked from dusk to dawn, each day of the week, with an hour long lunch break and the possibility of on-call assignments?”
Gosh.
Apple really must be toiling beneath the weight of these added provisions. Through the unbreakable bond between rider and horse, I could feel myself sweating on his behalf.
“The … um, the rate is negotiable.”
“Hmm? That's wonderful. So it's based on experience?”
“A-And merit! Therefore, a retainer who serves me loyally and asks few to zero questions regarding their financial reimbursement would be assured of a highly competitive salary.”
After a pause to consider my thorough answer, Coppelia offered a lazy smile.
“Okie~”
I turned away and sucked in a deep breath.
That … That was close!
Had Coppelia realised that I had no idea how much the servants I pushed around were being paid, it would have looked terrible on my behalf! Here I was, securing this kingdom's finances, when I wasn't even aware of how little I was paying my own attendants!
I coughed, bringing the topic back to something less dangerous.
Namely, how Coppelia could expedite this journey.
“As … As I was saying, you were not aware of what request I was going to make. Now, you may recall that carrying me in emergency situations was a potential duty when by my side?”
“Mmh, you're right. I have no idea what you're going to ask me.”
“Well, expedience is the best approach to averting calamity. As Apple is clearly unconcerned with the political ramifications of civil strife tearing down the kingdom's apple orchards, I believe that use of your robust strength to carry me to the capital is in our vested interest.”
Coppelia swallowed the rest of her blueberry muffin.
I wasn't even sure if she chewed.
“I'm an assistant librarian. I carry books. Sometimes. I don't carry people. Their spines are too easy to break.”
Apple briefly paused, as though joining me in my slight confusion. I considered which perplexed me more. Coppelia's ability to devour foodstuffs with abandon. Or her odd wording regarding breaking human spines.
I decided to ignore both.
For now.
“I … I see. That's … certainly a valid concern. My apologies. I mistook your prudence for my safety as a simple desire to not have me straddling your shoulders.”
“How about we trade? Let me sit on your shoulders, and you can sit on mine.”
My mouth fell open. The indignity of the question! Did she not realise how rude it was to ask someone if they could sit on them?
“E-Excuse me! Just what are you asking a …. I mean, I'm not a horse!”
Coppelia raised an eyebrow at me, then set her sights on Apple.
“I've never actually sat on a horse before, either.”
“What?”
“How is it? Very uncomfortable? Or just mildly uncomfortable? I've always wanted to try, but I also figured I'd get bored quickly.”
I was stunned.
Coppelia had never sat on a horse before? Cogs or not, it was scarcely believable that someone would eschew the joy of riding to instead walk like some freshly robbed merchant.
And she said she was from Ouzelia? If so, how did she come to Tirea?
“It's comfortable, provided you have a saddle that's tailored to both you and the horse, as well as a soft road and a softer touch.”
“That saddle doesn't look particularly special, the road is 100% dirt and stones and the horse looks like it needs to be actively bribed to move anywhere.”
I bit my lips.
“Experiences may vary.”
Coppelia let out a faint giggle. She looked at Apple with renewed interest.
I could feel him trotting slightly away.
“Hmm … I suppose there's no reason not to experience it. I've just never had the need to. Can I try now?”
“Now?”
“Sure.” Coppelia spread her arms wide, then twirled on the spot. “There's no one around to be run down by my fierce skills as an aspiring squire.”
I winced. She would need to be taught more than basic equestrian skills before she could become an aspiring squire. To join the knightly ranks in any capacity was an arduous task, requiring feats of chivalry and strength to be attained as a mere prerequisite.
She had strength, true. But until the day she carried me from danger, then stayed behind to heroically sacrifice herself while pleading at me to flee while stating that my life was worth more than hers, she did not meet my minimum standards of chivalry expected of a knight.
“My, I'm delighted that you'd discover your curiosity upon seeing me riding a horse. However, few can do so as easily as me. I was raised to ride from a young age.”
“I can learn!”
“An excellent aptitude to have. But to ride a horse requires a horse, and unfortunately, I'm using the only one currently available. If you wish to experience riding, then I can personally show you to some excellent stables in the capital.”
“Great.”
“After we've scoured the streets clean of crime, that is.”
“Got it. Say, could you scoot over for a moment?”
“Hmm? What do you—hieee?!”
Coppelia placed her hand on the side of the saddle.
Then, to my utter horror, she promptly flung herself over.
Without a single care in the world, this girl acrobatically hopped onto the moving … well, slow moving horse, and perched herself behind me. Ignoring the saddle, she sat with both legs dangling off one side, as though a horse's back was merely a swing that she could hop on and off at any moment.
“What a curious feeling,” she hummed. “Is it normal for the horse to feel this warm?”
“Yes! Yes it is!”
“Oh.” Coppelia paused. “It feels a little gross.”
She invited an unseemly fall as she stretched her legs out. Having seen her otherworldly agility at work, I was pained to know that this was unlikely.
I tightly gripped Apple's reins, ready to calm him to ease the sudden burden of the unexpected weight.
He didn't so much as snort. He just … kept trotting along.
Frankly, I was amazed at how little fazed this horse. Was the addition of another figure on his back no different than an extra bundle of hay on his cart?
Even so, this was far too irresponsible! A horse was no peasant, free to sit or step on as required! You could not do with a horse's back as you pleased!
“Coppelia! A horse is not some circus plaything! You cannot just jump onto a moving animal! You may very easily startle it!”
“Really? I see people jumping on horses all the time in Ouzelia.”
“What?! Who?!”
“Heroes.” Coppelia shrugged. “We have a lot of them. They can't really climb on horses properly anymore. They have to jump on them, or fall on them from an open window.”
I pressed my palm to my face.
When this was all done and dusted, one of the first things I'd do would be to sever all diplomatic contact with that land of eccentrics.
“Why in goodness would people have to jump on horses?”
“It helps the day go by faster. When you jump on a horse, something dramatic has to happen.”
“Really now,” I said, rolling my eyes. “And have you spotted anything dramatic so far?”
“A large group of trolls are blocking the bridge up ahead.”
I glanced behind at Coppelia, frown in hand. She was ready for me, pointing ahead with enthusiasm.
Turning back, I looked ahead and winced at the large, grey dots seeming to interrupt the flow of an otherwise unbroken, shimmering blue river.
Then, I sniffed the air and groaned.
Trolls.
… Why couldn't it have been dragons?
