Don’t enjoy it. Don’t be happy. Don’t be sad. Don’t cry. Don’t get angry. Don’t be human. Don’t be alive.
That was what Alana thought every day since the fall of Serrat. Today, too, she kept her face expressionless. However, there was someone who overturned her determination.
“Women are such a pain in the ass. Hair, makeup, and nails. They wear uncomfortable shoes and tighten their waists for no reason. What’s the point of that?”
Last night, he attended a dinner party on Alana’s behalf. Something unpleasant must have happened there.
“I won’t let you do anything ridiculous.” He said, “Alana, never ask a man out.”
“I’ve never asked a man out.”
“I know. That’s why I told you not to ask them out. Don’t forget that you have a husband.” He was holding Alana’s hand and polishing her nails. He had short hair when he was a prince, but he had become the fairy Aetu herself after four years. Usually, his silver hair reached down to his waist, but now it seemed to be in the way, and he pulled it into a messy bun.
“Emilio, you don’t have to polish my nails. Any nails are fine.”
“Any nails? What kind of nails? Do you think black nails filled with something unknown is good? I don’t think so. You are my wife before you are my queen. You should be more well-groomed than anyone else.”
“Then ask the servants to do it for, please. This kind of thing, you don’t need to- “
“I told you no. You are in mortal danger.”
Alana still could not accept the fact that this beautiful man had become her husband. She couldn’t believe it. Why was this man taking care of her? She was the queen of an enemy country. Why did he stare into her eyes in spite of that? Why did he hold her again and again? Why did he not kill her?
She wanted it to stop. Because every time he touched her, she felt happy. Alana did not deserve to be happy. Her greedy self, absorbed in comfort, thought that it would be better if the deadline for her death were extended.
She wished he could be by her side.
She did not deserve to be forgiven.
Alana looked down at her gleaming nails. Perhaps it was the difference in experience, but Callisto had done a better job than him. Her nails, her hair, her dressing. However, Luciano’s work filled Alana’s heart and made her hot. What was a nobleman doing with a little girl?
He was not used to this kind of treatment of women and seemed to be clumsy, to begin with. But that was why he was making an effort. That made her feel more than happy.
Alana held up her hand and looked at her nails again. They were shiny.
“They’ve become very beautiful. Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me,” he said brusquely, lifting Alana’s body easily and sitting her between his legs. He rubbed every inch of her every day to soften the joints in her hands. He rubbed relentlessly, and it hurt, but the warmth of his touch felt nice.
When he was done with her right hand, he started on the left.
Ever since he started taking care of her, Alana’s day was full of changes. The most noticeable change was in her diet. In the past, she had avoided eating anything that tasted good, deliberately eating tasteless and unpleasant foods. But when Luciano brought it to her mouth, she could not help but open it.
Because he was giving it to her, she felt like she could forgive him even if it tasted good. Because he ate, so did Alana. Moreover, it seemed that they had the same taste in food. This also uplifted Alana. Even though they grew up in different countries, they had something in common.
“Of course you remember that I wanted to talk to you this morning, don’t you? I’m going to show you to the doctor. If he’s a crazy man, I’ll take his head off, don’t worry.”
“I’m not in bad shape. I haven’t had any collapses lately. It’s not-”
“I’ve been giving you my seed for over a month. You might be quick with child, don’t you think?”
She was on medication, so it was not possible. She knew that, but still, Alana nodded.
♔♔♔
//Why does Alana believe she doesn’t deserve forgiveness? Alana is the current monarch of the nation who destroyed an entire nation; thus, she bears the burdens and all the responsibilities of the past and present. These sins are associated with the identity of Armenia, and she is the head of Armenia, not to mention an immediate person of a murderer and rapist that initiated the atrocities. If she didn’t mention Rivas, her father and brother would not have taken an interest in the black soil & water. She also believes she should have saved Serrat, but couldn’t because she’s powerless. Coupled with her personal friendship with Mileia, the warmth of Ismael & Carmelita, and her guilt for wanting happiness with her brother -she feels like she stole something she never deserved. Her character is a set tragedy from the minute she was born with platinum hair and green eyes.
Don’t enjoy it. Don’t be happy. Don’t be sad. Don’t cry. Don’t get angry. Don’t be human. Don’t be alive.
That was what Alana thought every day since the fall of Serrat. Today, too, she kept her face expressionless. However, there was someone who overturned her determination.
“Women are such a pain in the ass. Hair, makeup, and nails. They wear uncomfortable shoes and tighten their waists for no reason. What’s the point of that?”
Last night, he attended a dinner party on Alana’s behalf. Something unpleasant must have happened there.
“I won’t let you do anything ridiculous.” He said, “Alana, never ask a man out.”
“I’ve never asked a man out.”
“I know. That’s why I told you not to ask them out. Don’t forget that you have a husband.” He was holding Alana’s hand and polishing her nails. He had short hair when he was a prince, but he had become the fairy Aetu herself after four years. Usually, his silver hair reached down to his waist, but now it seemed to be in the way, and he pulled it into a messy bun.
“Emilio, you don’t have to polish my nails. Any nails are fine.”
“Any nails? What kind of nails? Do you think black nails filled with something unknown is good? I don’t think so. You are my wife before you are my queen. You should be more well-groomed than anyone else.”
“Then ask the servants to do it for, please. This kind of thing, you don’t need to- “
“I told you no. You are in mortal danger.”
Alana still could not accept the fact that this beautiful man had become her husband. She couldn’t believe it. Why was this man taking care of her? She was the queen of an enemy country. Why did he stare into her eyes in spite of that? Why did he hold her again and again? Why did he not kill her?
She wanted it to stop. Because every time he touched her, she felt happy. Alana did not deserve to be happy. Her greedy self, absorbed in comfort, thought that it would be better if the deadline for her death were extended.
She wished he could be by her side.
She did not deserve to be forgiven.
Alana looked down at her gleaming nails. Perhaps it was the difference in experience, but Callisto had done a better job than him. Her nails, her hair, her dressing. However, Luciano’s work filled Alana’s heart and made her hot. What was a nobleman doing with a little girl?
He was not used to this kind of treatment of women and seemed to be clumsy, to begin with. But that was why he was making an effort. That made her feel more than happy.
Alana held up her hand and looked at her nails again. They were shiny.
“They’ve become very beautiful. Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me,” he said brusquely, lifting Alana’s body easily and sitting her between his legs. He rubbed every inch of her every day to soften the joints in her hands. He rubbed relentlessly, and it hurt, but the warmth of his touch felt nice.
When he was done with her right hand, he started on the left.
Ever since he started taking care of her, Alana’s day was full of changes. The most noticeable change was in her diet. In the past, she had avoided eating anything that tasted good, deliberately eating tasteless and unpleasant foods. But when Luciano brought it to her mouth, she could not help but open it.
Because he was giving it to her, she felt like she could forgive him even if it tasted good. Because he ate, so did Alana. Moreover, it seemed that they had the same taste in food. This also uplifted Alana. Even though they grew up in different countries, they had something in common.
“Of course you remember that I wanted to talk to you this morning, don’t you? I’m going to show you to the doctor. If he’s a crazy man, I’ll take his head off, don’t worry.”
“I’m not in bad shape. I haven’t had any collapses lately. It’s not-”
“I’ve been giving you my seed for over a month. You might be quick with child, don’t you think?”
She was on medication, so it was not possible. She knew that, but still, Alana nodded.
♔♔♔
//Why does Alana believe she doesn’t deserve forgiveness? Alana is the current monarch of the nation who destroyed an entire nation; thus, she bears the burdens and all the responsibilities of the past and present. These sins are associated with the identity of Armenia, and she is the head of Armenia, not to mention an immediate person of a murderer and rapist that initiated the atrocities. If she didn’t mention Rivas, her father and brother would not have taken an interest in the black soil & water. She also believes she should have saved Serrat, but couldn’t because she’s powerless. Coupled with her personal friendship with Mileia, the warmth of Ismael & Carmelita, and her guilt for wanting happiness with her brother -she feels like she stole something she never deserved. Her character is a set tragedy from the minute she was born with platinum hair and green eyes.
