Anna was confused. Anger, betrayal, worry, fear, a veritable storm of emotions raged inside her Mind Palace. Mandy’s pregnancy made her angry and betrayed. Same went for relief. Anna believed she avoided a disaster; it was Mandy, not her.
She worried and feared for Margaret’s safety. Would Father hurt her? He told me to get pregnant quickly, and now another woman carries Wolf’s child. No. Wolf scares him. If he stays afraid and we don’t back him into a corner, Mother will remain safe.
Despite Wolf standing before her, Anna’s thoughts drifted elsewhere. Based on his wretched smile, she knew this wasn’t the final bad news he had in store. She closed her eyes and scratched an eyebrow.
“What else?” Anna colored her voice with reproof and disappointment while folding her arms. She pushed up her bust, which had grown to match Margaret’s.
“I summoned Wayde. He should return in a month and a half.” Wolf first shared the innocent news, which didn’t implicate Anna.
The young woman nodded, her eyes saying ‘go on’. This wasn’t the ‘else’ she sensed from Wolf’s body language.
“I will disappear for several weeks, traveling the empire. Sorry, I can’t tell you the reason, because I’ve signed confidentiality contracts. I will negotiate certain matters with other True-Namers…” Wolf darted his eyes left and right, avoiding Anna’s gaze.
He’s further fueling the rumors against him. Again. She immediately knew Wolf was about to pull a stupid stunt. With that woman pregnant, he can hardly sling more mud on my name. But he’s only been back ten hours.
Anna’s eye twitched at the thought. Why can’t he be the way he is in my dreams? A perfect gentleman and a husband I can rely on?
Anna watched Wolf fumble for words and scratch his head, his awkward gestures telling her how much of a mess he planned on making. While he moved like a lumbering giant, she liked this new form. It would’ve been better if he was a head shorter; that height would make him Anna’s ideal dance partner.
When Wolf stopped talking, Anna drew a deep breath and tapped her foot. “Do what you have to do. How do you plan to handle the child? That woman is your mistress and her child is a bastard. Do you want us to adopt the baby?”
Anna liked the idea of taking in Mandy’s newborn. It would make her a mother without inconvenient messes of pregnancy, childbirth and losing her advancement potential.
“I’ll marry you, then marry Mandy.” Anna nearly fainted hearing those words. “There’s no law against having multiple wives. Nobles don’t practice it because of political implications and damage it would cause their family alliances.”
Anna gazed blankly. Wolf’s easygoing statement blindsided and shocked her. What would that make me? Wouldn’t the entire world laugh at me?
Anna was about to protest, but Wolf raised his massive, calloused hand, shushing her. “Marriage is irrelevant unless you desire a child. And we’ll cover that eventuality by drafting an inheritance contract, designating your child as my principal heir. Mandy doesn’t mind.”
Wolf brooked no argument, and Anna was in no position to argue. After a moment, she nodded.
The weak suffer what they must, Anna thought bitterly.
She couldn’t understand why she and Wolf grew estranged, while he and Mandy got close enough to have a baby. Anna’s thoughts were so muddled, she never considered differences in her and Mandy’s approach. One focused on personal benefits, while the other invested and risked everything to gain his favor.
Wolf noticed Anna’s bitterness.
“Look.” He sighed. “Mandy agrees with you. She thinks I shouldn’t marry her, since it will create a scandal. She only asked I formally recognize our child as my descendant. That is wrong. At least I think it’s wrong, and that’s all that matters. I don’t know how to explain it. I’d feel like I have committed a horrible crime by having the baby, or like Mandy is dirty, when I think it’s the most wonderful gift in the world. Do you understand?”
Anna nodded with a calm expression. The weak suffer what they must.
She couldn’t make him comprehend the slap those words represented. The humiliation she felt. He was her fiance, and he considered getting another woman pregnant wonderful? And she wasn’t dirty? She was a common born whore. Worse still, Anna was next door while they did the deed, unable to complain.
Deep down, she resented this Wolf from the waking world. And yet, she couldn’t live without him. He was her shield. His existence guaranteed her mother’s safety, and the stability of her education. Do I love him? Did I ever love him?
She didn’t know. She had true feelings for the dream Wolf. But the person from her dreams wasn’t Wolf. It was just a possibility.
***
“Hey, Big Brother!” Grinning, Wolf threw a sack of foodstuffs towards the sprawled bum. “I owe you a bunch of meals.”
The bag was full of exotic and handpicked items. Back in Demon Forest, they excited Wolf, making him recall South whenever he found them.
“I GLADLY RECEIVE YOUR EMOTIONS. SADLY, THE FLICKER OF ETERNITY WE SHARED ENDS FOR NOW.” Wolf’s skin crawled and head buzzed. The maddening voices assailed his mind without bothering to go through his ears much like an Earthmother vow, only scales of magnitude more intensely.
“I will tell you a story before we part.” The disjointed cacophony died down, fusing into South’s regular voice. However, his body gradually dissolved and cracks opened in it, terrifying Wolf. South’s transformation did not cause his horror. What scared him were the words ‘ends’ and ‘part’.
“Big Brother—”
“There was once a bastard.” Wolf watched maws which were South’s eyes start talking. “He was old beyond your species' understanding. So old, he viewed stars as flickering fireflies. Yet, despite his great age, every fabric of his being was a brat.”
South’s manling body broke down further, the cracks becoming myriad mouths, which spoke along with the fanged eyes. “He was a grand king of a realm distant both in time and space. However, his realm gradually decayed. Eventually, while his domain collapsed, his nine siblings pushed him out, saving his wretched existence. Probably because only madmen could survive the ensuing torturous solitude.”
Listening to those words, Wolf found himself wandering the chaotic blackness. Surges of cutting cold and searing heat bit his membrane while electrical shocks prickled his flesh. The damage wasn’t great, but eventually these tiny surges would dissolve him.
“Cruel reality forced him. He was a king no more. He was alone, lost and in danger, stumbling through the cruel, shattered space. Eventually, he discovered another kingdom.”
Wolf’s heart danced with relief and joy at seeing a distant beacon of light in the constantly consuming darkness. Wounded and broken, he crawled his way towards it.
“The young rulers of that realm accepted him. They nursed him to health. In return, he advised and shared what he learned from his domain. However, time passed. Signs of decay followed the period of bounty. He tried warning the kings of their doom, but they exiled him.”
Wolf again slithered through the desperate darkness while chaos bit at him. Impossibly far behind his back, the dying light flickered. At least he was healthy, beginning his journey anew.
“The wanderer visited kingdom after kingdom. Some were hostile and arrogant; they turned a deaf ear to his words, destined to die. Others treated him like a herald and advisor. They heeded his advice. Some of them survived the cataclysm, joining him in his wanderings. Unfortunately, weak ones exhausted themselves before reaching the next kingdom or despaired over their loss, dying as ruthless primal chaos milled them into nothingness.”
Waves crashed at Wolf’s lost form, threatening to drown him in deaths of friends and loved ones.
“While some died, others persevered, living to see new lands and meet new people. Life is full of comings and goings, of happiness and despair. It is cruel and wonderful. Eventually, sailing this river of rises and falls, the ancient bastard entered a kingdom as an emissary, meeting a beautiful queen.”
Butterflies churned in Wolf’s stomach, thunder exploded in his head and fires incinerated his heart.
“The bitch was irresistible, and she found him just as attractive. The bastard got carried away, forgetting his job. Passion fed madness and madness fed passion until everything went to hell.”
A storm of blood smashed into Wolf. The scent of fire and charred bodies filled his nose, making him gag. Finally, he found himself surrounded by trash.
“Now, the sad fucker leads a double life. He runs from those pursuing him, while hiding his ass in a shoddy alley. Performing under a young voyeur’s gaze.”
The vision passed, and Wolf was once more in South’s alley. Before him, an insanity inducing black blob checkered with mouths bubbled and churned.
“This is your last shot. Come to your senses, or it’s all over. Stride forward. Endure. Awaken. Evolve. Thrive. Reach the top and find your True Self. The illusory mortal coil you wear is but a first step on an endless thorny road.”
With those words, South disappeared.
Anna was confused. Anger, betrayal, worry, fear, a veritable storm of emotions raged inside her Mind Palace. Mandy’s pregnancy made her angry and betrayed. Same went for relief. Anna believed she avoided a disaster; it was Mandy, not her.
She worried and feared for Margaret’s safety. Would Father hurt her? He told me to get pregnant quickly, and now another woman carries Wolf’s child. No. Wolf scares him. If he stays afraid and we don’t back him into a corner, Mother will remain safe.
Despite Wolf standing before her, Anna’s thoughts drifted elsewhere. Based on his wretched smile, she knew this wasn’t the final bad news he had in store. She closed her eyes and scratched an eyebrow.
“What else?” Anna colored her voice with reproof and disappointment while folding her arms. She pushed up her bust, which had grown to match Margaret’s.
“I summoned Wayde. He should return in a month and a half.” Wolf first shared the innocent news, which didn’t implicate Anna.
The young woman nodded, her eyes saying ‘go on’. This wasn’t the ‘else’ she sensed from Wolf’s body language.
“I will disappear for several weeks, traveling the empire. Sorry, I can’t tell you the reason, because I’ve signed confidentiality contracts. I will negotiate certain matters with other True-Namers…” Wolf darted his eyes left and right, avoiding Anna’s gaze.
He’s further fueling the rumors against him. Again. She immediately knew Wolf was about to pull a stupid stunt. With that woman pregnant, he can hardly sling more mud on my name. But he’s only been back ten hours.
Anna’s eye twitched at the thought. Why can’t he be the way he is in my dreams? A perfect gentleman and a husband I can rely on?
Anna watched Wolf fumble for words and scratch his head, his awkward gestures telling her how much of a mess he planned on making. While he moved like a lumbering giant, she liked this new form. It would’ve been better if he was a head shorter; that height would make him Anna’s ideal dance partner.
When Wolf stopped talking, Anna drew a deep breath and tapped her foot. “Do what you have to do. How do you plan to handle the child? That woman is your mistress and her child is a bastard. Do you want us to adopt the baby?”
Anna liked the idea of taking in Mandy’s newborn. It would make her a mother without inconvenient messes of pregnancy, childbirth and losing her advancement potential.
“I’ll marry you, then marry Mandy.” Anna nearly fainted hearing those words. “There’s no law against having multiple wives. Nobles don’t practice it because of political implications and damage it would cause their family alliances.”
Anna gazed blankly. Wolf’s easygoing statement blindsided and shocked her. What would that make me? Wouldn’t the entire world laugh at me?
Anna was about to protest, but Wolf raised his massive, calloused hand, shushing her. “Marriage is irrelevant unless you desire a child. And we’ll cover that eventuality by drafting an inheritance contract, designating your child as my principal heir. Mandy doesn’t mind.”
Wolf brooked no argument, and Anna was in no position to argue. After a moment, she nodded.
The weak suffer what they must, Anna thought bitterly.
She couldn’t understand why she and Wolf grew estranged, while he and Mandy got close enough to have a baby. Anna’s thoughts were so muddled, she never considered differences in her and Mandy’s approach. One focused on personal benefits, while the other invested and risked everything to gain his favor.
Wolf noticed Anna’s bitterness.
“Look.” He sighed. “Mandy agrees with you. She thinks I shouldn’t marry her, since it will create a scandal. She only asked I formally recognize our child as my descendant. That is wrong. At least I think it’s wrong, and that’s all that matters. I don’t know how to explain it. I’d feel like I have committed a horrible crime by having the baby, or like Mandy is dirty, when I think it’s the most wonderful gift in the world. Do you understand?”
Anna nodded with a calm expression. The weak suffer what they must.
She couldn’t make him comprehend the slap those words represented. The humiliation she felt. He was her fiance, and he considered getting another woman pregnant wonderful? And she wasn’t dirty? She was a common born whore. Worse still, Anna was next door while they did the deed, unable to complain.
Deep down, she resented this Wolf from the waking world. And yet, she couldn’t live without him. He was her shield. His existence guaranteed her mother’s safety, and the stability of her education. Do I love him? Did I ever love him?
She didn’t know. She had true feelings for the dream Wolf. But the person from her dreams wasn’t Wolf. It was just a possibility.
***
“Hey, Big Brother!” Grinning, Wolf threw a sack of foodstuffs towards the sprawled bum. “I owe you a bunch of meals.”
The bag was full of exotic and handpicked items. Back in Demon Forest, they excited Wolf, making him recall South whenever he found them.
“I GLADLY RECEIVE YOUR EMOTIONS. SADLY, THE FLICKER OF ETERNITY WE SHARED ENDS FOR NOW.” Wolf’s skin crawled and head buzzed. The maddening voices assailed his mind without bothering to go through his ears much like an Earthmother vow, only scales of magnitude more intensely.
“I will tell you a story before we part.” The disjointed cacophony died down, fusing into South’s regular voice. However, his body gradually dissolved and cracks opened in it, terrifying Wolf. South’s transformation did not cause his horror. What scared him were the words ‘ends’ and ‘part’.
“Big Brother—”
“There was once a bastard.” Wolf watched maws which were South’s eyes start talking. “He was old beyond your species' understanding. So old, he viewed stars as flickering fireflies. Yet, despite his great age, every fabric of his being was a brat.”
South’s manling body broke down further, the cracks becoming myriad mouths, which spoke along with the fanged eyes. “He was a grand king of a realm distant both in time and space. However, his realm gradually decayed. Eventually, while his domain collapsed, his nine siblings pushed him out, saving his wretched existence. Probably because only madmen could survive the ensuing torturous solitude.”
Listening to those words, Wolf found himself wandering the chaotic blackness. Surges of cutting cold and searing heat bit his membrane while electrical shocks prickled his flesh. The damage wasn’t great, but eventually these tiny surges would dissolve him.
“Cruel reality forced him. He was a king no more. He was alone, lost and in danger, stumbling through the cruel, shattered space. Eventually, he discovered another kingdom.”
Wolf’s heart danced with relief and joy at seeing a distant beacon of light in the constantly consuming darkness. Wounded and broken, he crawled his way towards it.
“The young rulers of that realm accepted him. They nursed him to health. In return, he advised and shared what he learned from his domain. However, time passed. Signs of decay followed the period of bounty. He tried warning the kings of their doom, but they exiled him.”
Wolf again slithered through the desperate darkness while chaos bit at him. Impossibly far behind his back, the dying light flickered. At least he was healthy, beginning his journey anew.
“The wanderer visited kingdom after kingdom. Some were hostile and arrogant; they turned a deaf ear to his words, destined to die. Others treated him like a herald and advisor. They heeded his advice. Some of them survived the cataclysm, joining him in his wanderings. Unfortunately, weak ones exhausted themselves before reaching the next kingdom or despaired over their loss, dying as ruthless primal chaos milled them into nothingness.”
Waves crashed at Wolf’s lost form, threatening to drown him in deaths of friends and loved ones.
“While some died, others persevered, living to see new lands and meet new people. Life is full of comings and goings, of happiness and despair. It is cruel and wonderful. Eventually, sailing this river of rises and falls, the ancient bastard entered a kingdom as an emissary, meeting a beautiful queen.”
Butterflies churned in Wolf’s stomach, thunder exploded in his head and fires incinerated his heart.
“The bitch was irresistible, and she found him just as attractive. The bastard got carried away, forgetting his job. Passion fed madness and madness fed passion until everything went to hell.”
A storm of blood smashed into Wolf. The scent of fire and charred bodies filled his nose, making him gag. Finally, he found himself surrounded by trash.
“Now, the sad fucker leads a double life. He runs from those pursuing him, while hiding his ass in a shoddy alley. Performing under a young voyeur’s gaze.”
The vision passed, and Wolf was once more in South’s alley. Before him, an insanity inducing black blob checkered with mouths bubbled and churned.
“This is your last shot. Come to your senses, or it’s all over. Stride forward. Endure. Awaken. Evolve. Thrive. Reach the top and find your True Self. The illusory mortal coil you wear is but a first step on an endless thorny road.”
With those words, South disappeared.
