Chapter 184: Hell is Other Puns
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Chapter 184: Hell is Other Puns
The air was tense with anticipation and a little desperation.
Delta felt a bead of sweat roll down her forehead as she pressed her awareness to the max. Everything rested on this single action, and failure was no longer an option. Every iota of her soul was dedicated to this task before her. As the seconds passed, she could feel immense pressure building, the room deadly silent as everyone was also completely enthralled in the task.
'Food Stall, snakes in pipe... flying rug merchant' she hissed mentally, pushing herself to go faster. How could there be so much to sort through and yet yield no result?! Her soul, her very being, was poured into the task. There could be no hesitation, no retreat, no surrender-
"He's by the dancing sword swallowers who are collapsing into a pile." Nu interrupted, sounding exhausted, and Delta let out a scream of frustration as the silent Libro-Golem pointed to Nu in victory, turning the page of 'Wherever's Walric?.'
The other ten members of the Heroes of Ale let out groans as they couldn't find the hidden character fast enough. Some of them were standing, but most of them had found seats.
A selection of poofy pillows had been gathered in the library as people drank in special sealed sippy-like cups to prevent spillage as the golem seemed happy to be doing something. Originally, the group had come into the room by accident and couldn't find the door back out.
At first, Delta had thought they would seek the '1000 illegal brews and 32 immoral cocktails' recipe book or the 'Dragons: Every part is drinkable' book, but they had been captivated by the colorful children's shelf that Delta had filled up in her spare time.
The golem would only let them stay if they upgraded their open mugs to secure cups. Alcohol was murder on books apparently, especially when it's mead or wine.
Still, the event was enjoyable. It turned out that the group didn't have a lot of literate readers, but those that could read were more than happy to read to their friends, still as drunk as skunks.
'The little horse cart that would' and 'The Devouring Caterpillar' were very popular due to the little word count and bright artwork. Some were amused because of the alcohol; others were immersed due to never having the chance to be read to as a child, and that was something Delta found sad in her heart.
"The lady Walric has to count! I keep finding her," someone complained, drinking their beer through a winding straw.
"I like the little dog with glasses. I look for him first," another beamed, sinking into a beanbag as he downed a cider-like fruit drink.
"I feel like the designated driver," Nu said, sounding dead inside. The menu was partially reading an issue of 'Trap Monthly' that was about twenty years out of date. Delta wondered if she could subscribe to all the magazines?
Was there a book dungeon? There had to be a book dungeon.
"You should get Prim in on the fun!" Delta beamed as she tried to tease Nu into letting his hair down.
"She secluded herself in the bug notes and ever-expanding crash reports; I can't find her." Nu grunted as he floated off and tugged Delta through the wall, leaving the group to be read to and 'defeated' by the golem. Delta looked back at the gathering with a sigh, feelling one of the squishy chairs calling to her.
Delta had copies of absorbed books of ancient power rituals and other valuable tomes, but she was more happy about her public library of knowledge and books set to delight. The teacher in her just loved people enjoying a good book.
Delta was known to enjoy a book or two herself but only in the dead of night and behind locked doors. As she left, she saw a shadow moving between the shelves, revealing Jack the Kobold collecting drinks and coins from the unaware guests.
More 'offerings' to Death?
Delta shook her head, but as she floated past the map room, she paused to listen to the corridor connecting to the trolls' den.
"SWAMP SWAMP! GET OUT! SWAMP!" came a thunderous roar of voices and song followed by a belch so loud it shook the walls.
"I'll check on that later!" Delta said brightly, eyes a little too wide, and pivoted to the feast room. The Free Heal Hall was a warzone. Defeated Heroes of Ale laid across tables, chicken sticks in hand or bowls of melting desserts as pillows.
Fera was sweeping a few of them into a pile in the corner where blankets had been haphazardly tossed over a few of them. The power of the food had claimed more than a few of the group due to the fact they couldn't stop eating, and soon the mixture of alcohol and a full stomach brought on fitful sleep.The inaugural upload of this chapter took place via N0v3l-B1n.
The impressive thing was that their ability to tolerate the mana of the Dungeon was so deep that they could perhaps spend a whole night on this floor with no ill-effect.
"This group must have been in a lot of Dungeons," Delta said to Nu.
"No, I think they just drank so much poison over the years that their mana, like their stomachs, have turned to a lumpy iron consistency," the menu said with a dry tone. Delta stared at some of the unconscious members.
"Would that mean anyone who was sensitive to mana would get a buzz by being near them? Wait... are they getting me buzzed?" Delta asked, holding her hands up with an awed expression.
"No. You've eaten so much Gutrot, you have a liver, and other vital organs, of orichalcum. You're just easily impressionable and swept into mobs," Nu said, popping her bubble.
"I never decided to eat them. I didn't choose the shrooms, they chose me... violently," she shivered and hugged herself.
"All the senior members are missing. Did they go ahead?" she asked, feeling around on the floor to feel there was a lot of motion.
"Ahead? No; sort of stumbling in a direction they didn't control? Yes," Nu said with a nod of his avatar.
Delta moved ahead to the garden at the center of the floor, connecting all the rooms together. To her surprise, one of the Heroes had found a means to open the Soul Well that contained the pure essence of her mana. The older man stared at it but didn't partake in it.
Despite sweating and looking flush with alcohol, he didn't seem like he was losing control of any of his functions.
"Is he going to drink from the well?" Delta asked, worried about the consequences. She might have to call the Guardgoyles over. She didn't mind mingling her mana with people, but it was important to Delta that they be sober and clear thinking before they made such a choice.
Delta peered at the man, seeing how he was far older than most of the members and had a sort of shabby look to him. He didn't have many teeth left, but he still looked to be healthy despite his age.
"Lovely place, aye," the man mused to himself and then made a toast with a private hip flask that looked very old and tarnished but still gleaned with hints of a pure silver.
"To the beautiful dungeon that grew despite the mad witch that was buried here. To the kind dungeon that grew in monument to the proud son that held virtues of Verluan true!" he cheered and downed a truly impressive amount of gulps from the flask.
"May you rot in hell, you wicked thing. My poor heart still loves you so," he toasted to the ground as if to drink to a grave Delta couldn't see.
Delta watched as he closed the well back up and began to do a really awkward hip thrust towards the ballroom where music poured out of the open doors.
Delta enjoyed his enthusiasm, and despite his age, his mana still had a healthy golden tinge to it that spoke of a man who could tell some very dirty jokes if he wanted to.
"He had to be at least eighty... maybe even ninety. Mana is a heck of a drug-" Delta joked and turned, but Nu had vanished. Not just wandered off but completely shut his avatar down.
He had removed himself from the physical space like going to his room and shutting the door.
Delta felt a bit worried but didn't ignore his boundaries. She could wait until he was ready.
For now, she had heroes being hooked up to IV drips in the medical room, horrible drunk dad dances in the ballroom, some heroes were getting inscribed magic mugs made in the forge, and three of them had entered the boss room.
Delta was worried how Jellagon was getting on when she discovered something both amazing and slightly disturbing.
Delta could, in fact, make jello shots.
The amazing thing was that Jellagon was so magical he made even the most hardcore drinker stumble in shock at the potency of the drink.
The disturbing part was how Jellagon remained fully in control of his swallowed pieces and knocked out the Heroes with little effort from the inside out.
Delta stared at him as he and his other puddles looked innocently back at her.
"I thought you liked them?" she asked slowly and Jellagon gurgled once.
In Slimian, it roughly translated to 'I wanted to win my first fight.'
If the Heroes of Ale brought their full force and semi-coordinated numbers against Jellagon, they might have made a difference. However, the few left were slow dancing with Muffet and Fera in the ballroom, were smelling troll soup in the hall, or were being lulled to sleep by the golem with soft books that played music when opened.
The last one standing was the old man, who seemed both happy and a little sad while he watched the Dungeon operate. He didn't ask for anything, and Delta had the strongest feeling that he just wanted to fade away.
As he swayed a little to the music, a pendant fell out of his shirt, a coin-like necklace showing two swords crossed over a round circle.
It looked old... just like its owner.
---
Princess Serma turned her pendant over nervously as a town seemed to be approaching in the distance. The shiny golden coin of two swords over a circle was familiar to her, but after learning about her father, she had lost some affection for the royal symbol.
Across the space in the carriage, Lorsa was looking happier as they neared, as if some fresh air of this place was something she was in desperate need of. Next to her, Mas snored as he hugged a similarly snoring orange slime in his lap.
"Any sixes?" the tied up demonic imp asked as he held cards up with his toes. Serma was glad she wore gloves when shuffling the deck of cards.
She put a six down, and the imp, using a scary amount of flexibility and dexterity, collected the card and then put down three sixes.
Prim seemed confident in this answer, and Delta swallowed once.
"Okay, let's do it," Delta encouraged. A door to hell wasn't a bad thing, right?
Like a vacation spot!
"Error. Cannot construct. Distance is too great. You will be able to do so when the new entrance is formed."
Delta blinked once slowly, then spoke even slower.
"But then I'll be torn apart," she said, almost cautiously.
"Correct. You need the entrance to control the mana, but having the entrance will most likely tear you apart."
"So... I can't build it if I want to, and I can't stop it either. Can I turn my mana off?" she asked, feeling a surge of panic rising in her.
"No."
Delta had a horrible image of her ballooning up like a sausage and then promptly exploding all over Durence.
Fairplay would be happy, at least.
"However."
Prim's screen interrupted Delta's inner panic for a moment.
"A secondary temporary core is arriving at the location shortly."
Delta tilted her head for a moment.
"I have a secondary core in hell?" she questioned, not sure if she was even surprised by this point.
"Not quite."
---
"It burns, it quacks. It hisses, it quacks. It reigns in hell, it quacks," Beta said, almost devoid of emotion as she trekked through the dark world where geysers of fire occasionally erupted from the ground. On her head, a black duck quacked along.
Beta's eyes looked haunted, and she stopped near a rock as a near-dead tiny plant grew on it, its brown limbs brittle. It danced in an ash-filled wind, like it was tempting her.
Beta stared at it, then screamed, setting the whole thing on fire as she raged.
"IT HIDES IN A TREE, IT WILL QUACK!" she screamed in monstrous anger.
The black duck on her head merely nodded.
She turned back to the screen nearby her; it was covered in little puppy and kitten paw prints. She glared as it glowed bright with pale red light. Around the edges, vines and thorns had turned to stone and were flaking away slowly.
Beta's Magical Menagerie! V.2
Important quest: Rescue your beloved teacher from the consequences of her own actions.
Rewards: Orange Mushroom Cap hat for all transformations.
"Still don't trust you all. I really don't," she whispered, hands clenched and changing into black claws.
The screen flickered.
"I've accepted that, and I will never bother you if you wish after this. Please, just help Delta. -Sister."
"Also I don't know who Delta is. Is she gonna help me escape here? Is she smart and stuff?" Beta grunted as she trudged through the sand and ash.
"Indeed!"
"So, I can trust her to take care of something delicate like the world tree?" Beta pressed the screen.
"...Yes!"
"You hesitated!"
"Quack."
Beta twitched but looked up at her 'escort.'
"What do you mean, you heard she was 'bombastic' from your prince? You guys are literally monster dragons that are also ducks; how can anything be bombastic to you all?!" Beta demanded, throwing her hands up.
Her screen blinked.
"Just don't mention the mushrooms when you meet her. - Sis"
"Why would I...mention...that..." Beta trailed off as in the distance, the ash storm shifted to reveal a massive black pulsing mushroom cap that was crackling with dark orange lightning, trying to grow up to somewhere beyond this world.
In the few seconds that Beta watched it, it let out a thunderous boom like a voice.
"WHAT TIME DOES A DUCK WAKE UP AT?!" the mushroom bellowed.
Beta stared.
"AT THE QUACK OF DAWN!" it finished. Beta turned around in one smooth motion.
"I'm going back to the hell pond for ten more years," she said bluntly and started walking.
"Wait! She needs you!" the screen tried to stop her.
"I don't need that!" Beta jabbed a thumb over her shoulder.
"I'll improve your reward!"
"No."
"Triple reward!"
"No." Beta's footsteps crunched the sand underfoot.
"I'll introduce you to someone who can hurt the tree! He lives close to Delta!" the screen said, and Beta froze.
"No one can hurt the tree, it's too powerful. Even I can't... not sure I can," Beta said quietly.
"This one can. Quiss Firesmasher has dedicated his existence to it. He has the means."
Beta turned around to stare at the epic mushroom towering on the horizon.
"Fine." Beta sounded calm, but her eyes were shifting into a dozen different forms a minute. Beta didn't hope. She didn't dare let that stupid feeling bloom in her heart ever again.
But she didn't reject the idea.
"WHERE DO TOUGH DUCKS COME FROM? HARD-BOILED EGGS!"
Beta gritted her teeth. She truly was in hell.
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Chapter 184: Hell is Other Puns
The air was tense with anticipation and a little desperation.
Delta felt a bead of sweat roll down her forehead as she pressed her awareness to the max. Everything rested on this single action, and failure was no longer an option. Every iota of her soul was dedicated to this task before her. As the seconds passed, she could feel immense pressure building, the room deadly silent as everyone was also completely enthralled in the task.
'Food Stall, snakes in pipe... flying rug merchant' she hissed mentally, pushing herself to go faster. How could there be so much to sort through and yet yield no result?! Her soul, her very being, was poured into the task. There could be no hesitation, no retreat, no surrender-
"He's by the dancing sword swallowers who are collapsing into a pile." Nu interrupted, sounding exhausted, and Delta let out a scream of frustration as the silent Libro-Golem pointed to Nu in victory, turning the page of 'Wherever's Walric?.'
The other ten members of the Heroes of Ale let out groans as they couldn't find the hidden character fast enough. Some of them were standing, but most of them had found seats.
A selection of poofy pillows had been gathered in the library as people drank in special sealed sippy-like cups to prevent spillage as the golem seemed happy to be doing something. Originally, the group had come into the room by accident and couldn't find the door back out.
At first, Delta had thought they would seek the '1000 illegal brews and 32 immoral cocktails' recipe book or the 'Dragons: Every part is drinkable' book, but they had been captivated by the colorful children's shelf that Delta had filled up in her spare time.
The golem would only let them stay if they upgraded their open mugs to secure cups. Alcohol was murder on books apparently, especially when it's mead or wine.
Still, the event was enjoyable. It turned out that the group didn't have a lot of literate readers, but those that could read were more than happy to read to their friends, still as drunk as skunks.
'The little horse cart that would' and 'The Devouring Caterpillar' were very popular due to the little word count and bright artwork. Some were amused because of the alcohol; others were immersed due to never having the chance to be read to as a child, and that was something Delta found sad in her heart.
"The lady Walric has to count! I keep finding her," someone complained, drinking their beer through a winding straw.
"I like the little dog with glasses. I look for him first," another beamed, sinking into a beanbag as he downed a cider-like fruit drink.
"I feel like the designated driver," Nu said, sounding dead inside. The menu was partially reading an issue of 'Trap Monthly' that was about twenty years out of date. Delta wondered if she could subscribe to all the magazines?
Was there a book dungeon? There had to be a book dungeon.
"You should get Prim in on the fun!" Delta beamed as she tried to tease Nu into letting his hair down.
"She secluded herself in the bug notes and ever-expanding crash reports; I can't find her." Nu grunted as he floated off and tugged Delta through the wall, leaving the group to be read to and 'defeated' by the golem. Delta looked back at the gathering with a sigh, feelling one of the squishy chairs calling to her.
Delta had copies of absorbed books of ancient power rituals and other valuable tomes, but she was more happy about her public library of knowledge and books set to delight. The teacher in her just loved people enjoying a good book.
Delta was known to enjoy a book or two herself but only in the dead of night and behind locked doors. As she left, she saw a shadow moving between the shelves, revealing Jack the Kobold collecting drinks and coins from the unaware guests.
More 'offerings' to Death?
Delta shook her head, but as she floated past the map room, she paused to listen to the corridor connecting to the trolls' den.
"SWAMP SWAMP! GET OUT! SWAMP!" came a thunderous roar of voices and song followed by a belch so loud it shook the walls.
"I'll check on that later!" Delta said brightly, eyes a little too wide, and pivoted to the feast room. The Free Heal Hall was a warzone. Defeated Heroes of Ale laid across tables, chicken sticks in hand or bowls of melting desserts as pillows.
Fera was sweeping a few of them into a pile in the corner where blankets had been haphazardly tossed over a few of them. The power of the food had claimed more than a few of the group due to the fact they couldn't stop eating, and soon the mixture of alcohol and a full stomach brought on fitful sleep.The inaugural upload of this chapter took place via N0v3l-B1n.
The impressive thing was that their ability to tolerate the mana of the Dungeon was so deep that they could perhaps spend a whole night on this floor with no ill-effect.
"This group must have been in a lot of Dungeons," Delta said to Nu.
"No, I think they just drank so much poison over the years that their mana, like their stomachs, have turned to a lumpy iron consistency," the menu said with a dry tone. Delta stared at some of the unconscious members.
"Would that mean anyone who was sensitive to mana would get a buzz by being near them? Wait... are they getting me buzzed?" Delta asked, holding her hands up with an awed expression.
"No. You've eaten so much Gutrot, you have a liver, and other vital organs, of orichalcum. You're just easily impressionable and swept into mobs," Nu said, popping her bubble.
"I never decided to eat them. I didn't choose the shrooms, they chose me... violently," she shivered and hugged herself.
"All the senior members are missing. Did they go ahead?" she asked, feeling around on the floor to feel there was a lot of motion.
"Ahead? No; sort of stumbling in a direction they didn't control? Yes," Nu said with a nod of his avatar.
Delta moved ahead to the garden at the center of the floor, connecting all the rooms together. To her surprise, one of the Heroes had found a means to open the Soul Well that contained the pure essence of her mana. The older man stared at it but didn't partake in it.
Despite sweating and looking flush with alcohol, he didn't seem like he was losing control of any of his functions.
"Is he going to drink from the well?" Delta asked, worried about the consequences. She might have to call the Guardgoyles over. She didn't mind mingling her mana with people, but it was important to Delta that they be sober and clear thinking before they made such a choice.
Delta peered at the man, seeing how he was far older than most of the members and had a sort of shabby look to him. He didn't have many teeth left, but he still looked to be healthy despite his age.
"Lovely place, aye," the man mused to himself and then made a toast with a private hip flask that looked very old and tarnished but still gleaned with hints of a pure silver.
"To the beautiful dungeon that grew despite the mad witch that was buried here. To the kind dungeon that grew in monument to the proud son that held virtues of Verluan true!" he cheered and downed a truly impressive amount of gulps from the flask.
"May you rot in hell, you wicked thing. My poor heart still loves you so," he toasted to the ground as if to drink to a grave Delta couldn't see.
Delta watched as he closed the well back up and began to do a really awkward hip thrust towards the ballroom where music poured out of the open doors.
Delta enjoyed his enthusiasm, and despite his age, his mana still had a healthy golden tinge to it that spoke of a man who could tell some very dirty jokes if he wanted to.
"He had to be at least eighty... maybe even ninety. Mana is a heck of a drug-" Delta joked and turned, but Nu had vanished. Not just wandered off but completely shut his avatar down.
He had removed himself from the physical space like going to his room and shutting the door.
Delta felt a bit worried but didn't ignore his boundaries. She could wait until he was ready.
For now, she had heroes being hooked up to IV drips in the medical room, horrible drunk dad dances in the ballroom, some heroes were getting inscribed magic mugs made in the forge, and three of them had entered the boss room.
Delta was worried how Jellagon was getting on when she discovered something both amazing and slightly disturbing.
Delta could, in fact, make jello shots.
The amazing thing was that Jellagon was so magical he made even the most hardcore drinker stumble in shock at the potency of the drink.
The disturbing part was how Jellagon remained fully in control of his swallowed pieces and knocked out the Heroes with little effort from the inside out.
Delta stared at him as he and his other puddles looked innocently back at her.
"I thought you liked them?" she asked slowly and Jellagon gurgled once.
In Slimian, it roughly translated to 'I wanted to win my first fight.'
If the Heroes of Ale brought their full force and semi-coordinated numbers against Jellagon, they might have made a difference. However, the few left were slow dancing with Muffet and Fera in the ballroom, were smelling troll soup in the hall, or were being lulled to sleep by the golem with soft books that played music when opened.
The last one standing was the old man, who seemed both happy and a little sad while he watched the Dungeon operate. He didn't ask for anything, and Delta had the strongest feeling that he just wanted to fade away.
As he swayed a little to the music, a pendant fell out of his shirt, a coin-like necklace showing two swords crossed over a round circle.
It looked old... just like its owner.
---
Princess Serma turned her pendant over nervously as a town seemed to be approaching in the distance. The shiny golden coin of two swords over a circle was familiar to her, but after learning about her father, she had lost some affection for the royal symbol.
Across the space in the carriage, Lorsa was looking happier as they neared, as if some fresh air of this place was something she was in desperate need of. Next to her, Mas snored as he hugged a similarly snoring orange slime in his lap.
"Any sixes?" the tied up demonic imp asked as he held cards up with his toes. Serma was glad she wore gloves when shuffling the deck of cards.
She put a six down, and the imp, using a scary amount of flexibility and dexterity, collected the card and then put down three sixes.
Prim seemed confident in this answer, and Delta swallowed once.
"Okay, let's do it," Delta encouraged. A door to hell wasn't a bad thing, right?
Like a vacation spot!
"Error. Cannot construct. Distance is too great. You will be able to do so when the new entrance is formed."
Delta blinked once slowly, then spoke even slower.
"But then I'll be torn apart," she said, almost cautiously.
"Correct. You need the entrance to control the mana, but having the entrance will most likely tear you apart."
"So... I can't build it if I want to, and I can't stop it either. Can I turn my mana off?" she asked, feeling a surge of panic rising in her.
"No."
Delta had a horrible image of her ballooning up like a sausage and then promptly exploding all over Durence.
Fairplay would be happy, at least.
"However."
Prim's screen interrupted Delta's inner panic for a moment.
"A secondary temporary core is arriving at the location shortly."
Delta tilted her head for a moment.
"I have a secondary core in hell?" she questioned, not sure if she was even surprised by this point.
"Not quite."
---
"It burns, it quacks. It hisses, it quacks. It reigns in hell, it quacks," Beta said, almost devoid of emotion as she trekked through the dark world where geysers of fire occasionally erupted from the ground. On her head, a black duck quacked along.
Beta's eyes looked haunted, and she stopped near a rock as a near-dead tiny plant grew on it, its brown limbs brittle. It danced in an ash-filled wind, like it was tempting her.
Beta stared at it, then screamed, setting the whole thing on fire as she raged.
"IT HIDES IN A TREE, IT WILL QUACK!" she screamed in monstrous anger.
The black duck on her head merely nodded.
She turned back to the screen nearby her; it was covered in little puppy and kitten paw prints. She glared as it glowed bright with pale red light. Around the edges, vines and thorns had turned to stone and were flaking away slowly.
Beta's Magical Menagerie! V.2
Important quest: Rescue your beloved teacher from the consequences of her own actions.
Rewards: Orange Mushroom Cap hat for all transformations.
"Still don't trust you all. I really don't," she whispered, hands clenched and changing into black claws.
The screen flickered.
"I've accepted that, and I will never bother you if you wish after this. Please, just help Delta. -Sister."
"Also I don't know who Delta is. Is she gonna help me escape here? Is she smart and stuff?" Beta grunted as she trudged through the sand and ash.
"Indeed!"
"So, I can trust her to take care of something delicate like the world tree?" Beta pressed the screen.
"...Yes!"
"You hesitated!"
"Quack."
Beta twitched but looked up at her 'escort.'
"What do you mean, you heard she was 'bombastic' from your prince? You guys are literally monster dragons that are also ducks; how can anything be bombastic to you all?!" Beta demanded, throwing her hands up.
Her screen blinked.
"Just don't mention the mushrooms when you meet her. - Sis"
"Why would I...mention...that..." Beta trailed off as in the distance, the ash storm shifted to reveal a massive black pulsing mushroom cap that was crackling with dark orange lightning, trying to grow up to somewhere beyond this world.
In the few seconds that Beta watched it, it let out a thunderous boom like a voice.
"WHAT TIME DOES A DUCK WAKE UP AT?!" the mushroom bellowed.
Beta stared.
"AT THE QUACK OF DAWN!" it finished. Beta turned around in one smooth motion.
"I'm going back to the hell pond for ten more years," she said bluntly and started walking.
"Wait! She needs you!" the screen tried to stop her.
"I don't need that!" Beta jabbed a thumb over her shoulder.
"I'll improve your reward!"
"No."
"Triple reward!"
"No." Beta's footsteps crunched the sand underfoot.
"I'll introduce you to someone who can hurt the tree! He lives close to Delta!" the screen said, and Beta froze.
"No one can hurt the tree, it's too powerful. Even I can't... not sure I can," Beta said quietly.
"This one can. Quiss Firesmasher has dedicated his existence to it. He has the means."
Beta turned around to stare at the epic mushroom towering on the horizon.
"Fine." Beta sounded calm, but her eyes were shifting into a dozen different forms a minute. Beta didn't hope. She didn't dare let that stupid feeling bloom in her heart ever again.
But she didn't reject the idea.
"WHERE DO TOUGH DUCKS COME FROM? HARD-BOILED EGGS!"
Beta gritted her teeth. She truly was in hell.
Chapter 184: Hell is Other PunsThe air was tense with anticipation and a little desperation.Delta felt a bead of sweat roll down her forehead as she pressed her awareness to the max. Everything rested on this single action, and failure was no longer an option. Every iota of her soul was dedicated to this task before her. As the seconds passed, she could feel immense pressure building, the room deadly silent as everyone was also completely enthralled in the task.'Food Stall, snakes in pipe... flying rug merchant' she hissed mentally, pushing herself to go faster. How could there be so much to sort through and yet yield no result?! Her soul, her very being, was poured into the task. There could be no hesitation, no retreat, no surrender-"He's by the dancing sword swallowers who are collapsing into a pile." Nu interrupted, sounding exhausted, and Delta let out a scream of frustration as the silent Libro-Golem pointed to Nu in victory, turning the page of 'Wherever's Walric?.'The other ten members of the Heroes of Ale let out groans as they couldn't find the hidden character fast enough. Some of them were standing, but most of them had found seats.A selection of poofy pillows had been gathered in the library as people drank in special sealed sippy-like cups to prevent spillage as the golem seemed happy to be doing something. Originally, the group had come into the room by accident and couldn't find the door back out.At first, Delta had thought they would seek the '1000 illegal brews and 32 immoral cocktails' recipe book or the 'Dragons: Every part is drinkable' book, but they had been captivated by the colorful children's shelf that Delta had filled up in her spare time.The golem would only let them stay if they upgraded their open mugs to secure cups. Alcohol was murder on books apparently, especially when it's mead or wine.Still, the event was enjoyable. It turned out that the group didn't have a lot of literate readers, but those that could read were more than happy to read to their friends, still as drunk as skunks.'The little horse cart that would' and 'The Devouring Caterpillar' were very popular due to the little word count and bright artwork. Some were amused because of the alcohol; others were immersed due to never having the chance to be read to as a child, and that was something Delta found sad in her heart."The lady Walric has to count! I keep finding her," someone complained, drinking their beer through a winding straw."I like the little dog with glasses. I look for him first," another beamed, sinking into a beanbag as he downed a cider-like fruit drink."I feel like the designated driver," Nu said, sounding dead inside. The menu was partially reading an issue of 'Trap Monthly' that was about twenty years out of date. Delta wondered if she could subscribe to all the magazines?Was there a book dungeon? There had to be a book dungeon."You should get Prim in on the fun!" Delta beamed as she tried to tease Nu into letting his hair down."She secluded herself in the bug notes and ever-expanding crash reports; I can't find her." Nu grunted as he floated off and tugged Delta through the wall, leaving the group to be read to and 'defeated' by the golem. Delta looked back at the gathering with a sigh, feelling one of the squishy chairs calling to her.Delta had copies of absorbed books of ancient power rituals and other valuable tomes, but she was more happy about her public library of knowledge and books set to delight. The teacher in her just loved people enjoying a good book.Delta was known to enjoy a book or two herself but only in the dead of night and behind locked doors. As she left, she saw a shadow moving between the shelves, revealing Jack the Kobold collecting drinks and coins from the unaware guests.More 'offerings' to Death?Delta shook her head, but as she floated past the map room, she paused to listen to the corridor connecting to the trolls' den."SWAMP SWAMP! GET OUT! SWAMP!" came a thunderous roar of voices and song followed by a belch so loud it shook the walls."I'll check on that later!" Delta said brightly, eyes a little too wide, and pivoted to the feast room. The Free Heal Hall was a warzone. Defeated Heroes of Ale laid across tables, chicken sticks in hand or bowls of melting desserts as pillows.Fera was sweeping a few of them into a pile in the corner where blankets had been haphazardly tossed over a few of them. The power of the food had claimed more than a few of the group due to the fact they couldn't stop eating, and soon the mixture of alcohol and a full stomach brought on fitful sleep.The inaugural upload of this chapter took place via N0v3l-B1n.The impressive thing was that their ability to tolerate the mana of the Dungeon was so deep that they could perhaps spend a whole night on this floor with no ill-effect."This group must have been in a lot of Dungeons," Delta said to Nu."No, I think they just drank so much poison over the years that their mana, like their stomachs, have turned to a lumpy iron consistency," the menu said with a dry tone. Delta stared at some of the unconscious members."Would that mean anyone who was sensitive to mana would get a buzz by being near them? Wait... are they getting me buzzed?" Delta asked, holding her hands up with an awed expression."No. You've eaten so much Gutrot, you have a liver, and other vital organs, of orichalcum. You're just easily impressionable and swept into mobs," Nu said, popping her bubble."I never decided to eat them. I didn't choose the shrooms, they chose me... violently," she shivered and hugged herself."All the senior members are missing. Did they go ahead?" she asked, feeling around on the floor to feel there was a lot of motion."Ahead? No; sort of stumbling in a direction they didn't control? Yes," Nu said with a nod of his avatar.Delta moved ahead to the garden at the center of the floor, connecting all the rooms together. To her surprise, one of the Heroes had found a means to open the Soul Well that contained the pure essence of her mana. The older man stared at it but didn't partake in it.Despite sweating and looking flush with alcohol, he didn't seem like he was losing control of any of his functions."Is he going to drink from the well?" Delta asked, worried about the consequences. She might have to call the Guardgoyles over. She didn't mind mingling her mana with people, but it was important to Delta that they be sober and clear thinking before they made such a choice.Delta peered at the man, seeing how he was far older than most of the members and had a sort of shabby look to him. He didn't have many teeth left, but he still looked to be healthy despite his age."Lovely place, aye," the man mused to himself and then made a toast with a private hip flask that looked very old and tarnished but still gleaned with hints of a pure silver."To the beautiful dungeon that grew despite the mad witch that was buried here. To the kind dungeon that grew in monument to the proud son that held virtues of Verluan true!" he cheered and downed a truly impressive amount of gulps from the flask."May you rot in hell, you wicked thing. My poor heart still loves you so," he toasted to the ground as if to drink to a grave Delta couldn't see.Delta watched as he closed the well back up and began to do a really awkward hip thrust towards the ballroom where music poured out of the open doors.Delta enjoyed his enthusiasm, and despite his age, his mana still had a healthy golden tinge to it that spoke of a man who could tell some very dirty jokes if he wanted to."He had to be at least eighty... maybe even ninety. Mana is a heck of a drug-" Delta joked and turned, but Nu had vanished. Not just wandered off but completely shut his avatar down.He had removed himself from the physical space like going to his room and shutting the door.Delta felt a bit worried but didn't ignore his boundaries. She could wait until he was ready.For now, she had heroes being hooked up to IV drips in the medical room, horrible drunk dad dances in the ballroom, some heroes were getting inscribed magic mugs made in the forge, and three of them had entered the boss room.Delta was worried how Jellagon was getting on when she discovered something both amazing and slightly disturbing.Delta could, in fact, make jello shots.The amazing thing was that Jellagon was so magical he made even the most hardcore drinker stumble in shock at the potency of the drink.The disturbing part was how Jellagon remained fully in control of his swallowed pieces and knocked out the Heroes with little effort from the inside out.Delta stared at him as he and his other puddles looked innocently back at her."I thought you liked them?" she asked slowly and Jellagon gurgled once.In Slimian, it roughly translated to 'I wanted to win my first fight.'If the Heroes of Ale brought their full force and semi-coordinated numbers against Jellagon, they might have made a difference. However, the few left were slow dancing with Muffet and Fera in the ballroom, were smelling troll soup in the hall, or were being lulled to sleep by the golem with soft books that played music when opened.The last one standing was the old man, who seemed both happy and a little sad while he watched the Dungeon operate. He didn't ask for anything, and Delta had the strongest feeling that he just wanted to fade away.As he swayed a little to the music, a pendant fell out of his shirt, a coin-like necklace showing two swords crossed over a round circle.It looked old... just like its owner.---Princess Serma turned her pendant over nervously as a town seemed to be approaching in the distance. The shiny golden coin of two swords over a circle was familiar to her, but after learning about her father, she had lost some affection for the royal symbol.Across the space in the carriage, Lorsa was looking happier as they neared, as if some fresh air of this place was something she was in desperate need of. Next to her, Mas snored as he hugged a similarly snoring orange slime in his lap."Any sixes?" the tied up demonic imp asked as he held cards up with his toes. Serma was glad she wore gloves when shuffling the deck of cards.She put a six down, and the imp, using a scary amount of flexibility and dexterity, collected the card and then put down three sixes.Prim seemed confident in this answer, and Delta swallowed once."Okay, let's do it," Delta encouraged. A door to hell wasn't a bad thing, right?Like a vacation spot!"Error. Cannot construct. Distance is too great. You will be able to do so when the new entrance is formed."Delta blinked once slowly, then spoke even slower."But then I'll be torn apart," she said, almost cautiously."Correct. You need the entrance to control the mana, but having the entrance will most likely tear you apart.""So... I can't build it if I want to, and I can't stop it either. Can I turn my mana off?" she asked, feeling a surge of panic rising in her."No."Delta had a horrible image of her ballooning up like a sausage and then promptly exploding all over Durence.Fairplay would be happy, at least."However."Prim's screen interrupted Delta's inner panic for a moment."A secondary temporary core is arriving at the location shortly."Delta tilted her head for a moment."I have a secondary core in hell?" she questioned, not sure if she was even surprised by this point."Not quite."---"It burns, it quacks. It hisses, it quacks. It reigns in hell, it quacks," Beta said, almost devoid of emotion as she trekked through the dark world where geysers of fire occasionally erupted from the ground. On her head, a black duck quacked along.Beta's eyes looked haunted, and she stopped near a rock as a near-dead tiny plant grew on it, its brown limbs brittle. It danced in an ash-filled wind, like it was tempting her.Beta stared at it, then screamed, setting the whole thing on fire as she raged."IT HIDES IN A TREE, IT WILL QUACK!" she screamed in monstrous anger.The black duck on her head merely nodded.She turned back to the screen nearby her; it was covered in little puppy and kitten paw prints. She glared as it glowed bright with pale red light. Around the edges, vines and thorns had turned to stone and were flaking away slowly.Beta's Magical Menagerie! V.2Important quest: Rescue your beloved teacher from the consequences of her own actions.Rewards: Orange Mushroom Cap hat for all transformations."Still don't trust you all. I really don't," she whispered, hands clenched and changing into black claws.The screen flickered."I've accepted that, and I will never bother you if you wish after this. Please, just help Delta. -Sister.""Also I don't know who Delta is. Is she gonna help me escape here? Is she smart and stuff?" Beta grunted as she trudged through the sand and ash."Indeed!""So, I can trust her to take care of something delicate like the world tree?" Beta pressed the screen."...Yes!""You hesitated!""Quack."Beta twitched but looked up at her 'escort.'"What do you mean, you heard she was 'bombastic' from your prince? You guys are literally monster dragons that are also ducks; how can anything be bombastic to you all?!" Beta demanded, throwing her hands up.Her screen blinked."Just don't mention the mushrooms when you meet her. - Sis""Why would I...mention...that..." Beta trailed off as in the distance, the ash storm shifted to reveal a massive black pulsing mushroom cap that was crackling with dark orange lightning, trying to grow up to somewhere beyond this world.In the few seconds that Beta watched it, it let out a thunderous boom like a voice."WHAT TIME DOES A DUCK WAKE UP AT?!" the mushroom bellowed.Beta stared."AT THE QUACK OF DAWN!" it finished. Beta turned around in one smooth motion."I'm going back to the hell pond for ten more years," she said bluntly and started walking."Wait! She needs you!" the screen tried to stop her."I don't need that!" Beta jabbed a thumb over her shoulder."I'll improve your reward!""No.""Triple reward!""No." Beta's footsteps crunched the sand underfoot."I'll introduce you to someone who can hurt the tree! He lives close to Delta!" the screen said, and Beta froze."No one can hurt the tree, it's too powerful. Even I can't... not sure I can," Beta said quietly."This one can. Quiss Firesmasher has dedicated his existence to it. He has the means."Beta turned around to stare at the epic mushroom towering on the horizon."Fine." Beta sounded calm, but her eyes were shifting into a dozen different forms a minute. Beta didn't hope. She didn't dare let that stupid feeling bloom in her heart ever again.But she didn't reject the idea."WHERE DO TOUGH DUCKS COME FROM? HARD-BOILED EGGS!"Beta gritted her teeth. She truly was in hell.
