Chapter 87: Grotesque Puns
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Chapter 87: Grotesque Puns
Ruli rested her form against what could only be another inner gate-like door.
You’d almost think these cult blokes and their monsters didn’t want people raiding their shit. Shame about that, Ruli was feeling rather neighbourly. Not that she had much strength left to swing a dirty look let alone the well-balanced sword at her side. The forces had just kept coming to the point that even with her demon blood boiling, she couldn’t keep the onslaught up for too much longer.
She thought she’d done well, though. The sheer amount of bodies that hit the floor would have given a new meaning to what her Mum would consider... messy.
That was when that nasally undead prick screamed so loudly that everything just stopped. A black cloud of energy with a face that could have been the captain’s rushed past and vanished through the cracks of the door she now rested against.
Delta and Fran had done the trick. Hard to imagine that soft-looking lass doing anything mean, but that was the kinda person Ruli avoided teasing too much. Nice ones and all that. They really blew a gasket when pushed too far and being a Dungeon just made it even more likely that weird things would happen.
Ruli managed to raise her head long enough to see a few skeletons standing still, while some fell apart bone by bone as the minutes ticked by. Their glowing eyes flickered and faded as that foul energy was sucked back into the ground and floors. Good thing too, because her fingers dropped the sword as even that was too much for her.
Ruli grimaced.
If Quiss saw her now... he’d laugh so hard and Ruli would burst a chakra point to stand and deck him in the jaw for it. Then again, if Quiss was here... Ruli wouldn’t have minded the backup. One of the more animated looking skeletons turned its head and shuffled towards her, boney finger tips gleaming.
“Fuck off, if I get knocked off by a bag of bones, I’ll be pissed. You’re just a really naked person, I wanna at least get my head crushed by a dragon or some shit,” Ruli spat. There wasn’t enough life or awareness left in the thing other than the undead’s desire to kill her.
Ruli began to push herself up, ignoring the dark stains she left on the door. A damn lucky bite in the side from a goat with fangs. Like Von’s dog, it was a creature that didn’t need those fangs or a desire for blood but this place was fucked up.
She reached down, fingers shaking, for the sword - and she almost fell to her knees. Her demon blood too busy filtering out the various poisons that she had been injected with. It was just as bad as the damn cold, making her body weak and feverish.
It was amazing that after everything Ruli fought... the damn common cold was the only foe keeping up with her.
The boney bastard exploded as one of the nine doors opened and the kobold from before stood there.
“You look like something Jeb chewed on and spat out,” the lizard commented. It was sweet music to Ruli’s ears. She could almost sense a fellow lover of dry wit and sarcasm.
He looked around and his jolly mood seemed to stutter for a moment.
“I haven’t seen this room in... oh must be about 70 years,” he mused. He was kicked forward as the feminine frog from before marched in. Ruli hadn’t met the frog folks of the second floor properly yet but it was on her list.
This monster reminded her of Dabberghast. If Dabberghast hadn’t taken her issues out on various deforesting companies and litter bugs. A type of small gremlin with too many legs that loved spreading as much mess as they could in the green places of the world.
“30... 50... NOW 70! Can you please stay consistent?” the woman demanded. She... was covered in some thick slimy red goop.
“Devina, don’t be mad just because you jammed up the fight,” Cois grunted with amusement. Ruli had never been so happy to see so many non-humans in her life.
“It was a blood elemental gone past its due date. It attacked me,” the woman glared at Cois. Ruli could smell the old blood now that she focused. No one seemed to meet her eyes but Rale the monstrously buff frog in what seemed to be swim shorts spoke.
“You did great! It exploded and you stomped the jam blob’s core so hard that it began to cry. You truly are an impressive warrior, my fellow frog!” he guffawed and slapped Devina hard on the back.
“Well at least Inchy is leaving me alone,” Devina mumbled. Everyone paused and looked back into the kitchen where a tiny shrill voice chanted endless jokes at a sobbing elemental core, if Ruli was following the conversation right.
“Hey... sorry to be a bother but don’t suppose any of you know some non-holy healing magic? I kinda wasted all my energy doing cool tricks with this sword. Also, where’s Delta?” she slumped back down to the ground, a bit annoyed she let a flash of pain show.
Devina frowned and her pissed expression turned calm and focused as she came close to peer at Ruli’s back. Cois twirled his staff with a dark smile.
“I can seal the wound but you’ll be cooked for a while?” he offered. Ruli was about to retort when she hissed as Devina prodded her wounds with a glowing green finger.
“You’re injured. Rale, use those muscles for something other than being distracting and help Miss Ruli to the core room. It’ll be easier for her body to recover away from the cursed touch of this place,” she ordered. Ruli glared at her.
“I can handle myself, I need no man to lift-” she began and Devina smacked her on the nose with a finger.
“Child, I swear to mother I will seal your mouth shut with this dried blood goop if I have to. This has been a very trying day for me. Shush and let me help you,” the frog growled back. Ruli bristled and then mumbled as she felt Rale lift her with ease.
“I’m sure I’m older than you by quite a lot of years,” she said finally. Devina merely raised her version of a brow.
“Then I dare say you will have to start acting like it, Miss Ruli,” the frog replied waspishly.
Ruli couldn’t retort to that so she turned to Rale.
“I think she needs some tadpoles to mother, get on that will you?” she said and Devina’s choking noises were like honey.
Cois’ cackles were just the cherry on top. Ruli smirked and her eyes fell...once... then twice as she felt that cold aura leave her body. She blinked with exhaustion up at the orange sized core of Delta. It acted like the setting sun and it made Ruli’s skin feel warm.
She looked down to see some giant goblin laying Delta’s sleeping avatar down on the ground which Rale placed Ruli next to.
“Is she okay?” she mumbled. The goblin peered at her and she stared as she finally saw it was Fran the boss.
He looked... bigger.
“Yes. She channeled her Mana that had gathered, eager to consume the feast hall, into me instead. It will take a day or so for the Dungeon to take over the hall now but Mother... pieced me back together at the last moment. It took a toll on her,” Fran frowned. He kneeled and, to Ruli’s surprise, brushed Delta’s hair out of her eyes.
“She risks far too much for us but we’d do the same for her,” Fran smiled. Rale nodded seriously.
“I’ll break anyone who makes her cry,” Rale agreed. Ruli snorted.
“It’s not sexy to be a bunch of momma’s boys,” she mumbled and Delta shifted and her hand was close to Ruli’s. Warm heat radiated off it and then Delta’s face began to twitch as if she was having a bad dream.
Ruli took the hand and after a few seconds of real physical contact... so real and human... Delta’s hand phased through her own and the avatar turned blurry and hard to see once more.
But the peace that Delta got from the contact was enough to make Ruli feel better.
She closed her own eyes...
Being so close to a Dungeon Core was the best medicine a demon could get.
Dungeons took Mana from the area and people, made it into potent and purified Mana before filtering it back into the world. Demon’s didn’t have Mana. Not like the people of the Deep World.
They were more easily affected by Dungeons than humans... but the Dungeons couldn’t take anything from them. It was unfair... Ruli didn’t want to be unfair to her... Dungeon.
She began to hum a stupid tune. Like the one her Mum sang for her when she was scared by the demon horns that sprouted from her head when she was a young girl... the claws... her father who looked so scary to a young Ruli.
That song followed her here to this moment and it slipped out with little care.
Ruli hummed and hummed. Delta’s shaken breathing soothed and became deep and gentle.
She never saw Rale leave as Fran settled in with his pig to guard them both.
Just a demon princess, a Dungeon Core, and a Pig Knight.
Nothing odd here.
Ruli smiled and sleep took her.
---
Fran watched as his Mother and Ruli slept, his form shrinking slowly as the power left him. Soon, he would be back to his base form. Then he would diminish more if he did not return to his boss room - but for now, he had time.
He sat in the pulsing light of Mother’s core. Guarding and watching.
Both against the deeper evils of this place... and the gleaming sword leaning against the wall that appeared between one blink and another. That thing seemed to share the feeling Fran had. Of guarding something and Fran let this fellow protector stay... for now.
He petted Bacon who let Mother rest against his soft underbelly like a giant snoring pillow.
Fran closed his eyes and touched his chest where something odd now rested. A core of some kind. A tiny orb of Mother and... himself.
It rested just below his chest and it felt like a trapped bird slowly resting, the fluttering wings it had during battle now resting as the glow of the core washed over him.N0v3lRealm was the platform where this chapter was initially revealed on N0v3l.B1n.
This was his mother’s gift to Fran and he would protect it.
He felt warmth flow from the thing and he smiled to himself as Mother’s Mana seemed to coax something new from this object. A source of Mana that reminded Fran of clashing metal... and pigs.
It reminded Fran of... Fran.
----.
Jack inhaled and exhaled.
The black fountain in the middle of this dark garden had stopped spluttering the gunk that flowed from the inner rooms of this place. He had been here... he couldn’t guess how long ago despite how much he liked to pretend he hadn’t lost awareness of his time and existence.
No mercy! Only GLORY! FOR DELTA!
---
Delta snored and Ruli matched her, like a violin being backed by a cello.
A nervous menu box appeared and Nu who was floating nearby turned and began to laugh.
Oh this will be good.
Nu’s text rang with more laughter.
You have consumed 10 or more Gargoyles(comatose). Gargoyles are now available as a monster for the Third floor!
Delta turned in her sleep. Unaware of her various forces at work.
---
In Durence, a boy stopped sweeping. He turned slowly on the spot before looking down at his shiny shoes.
“You seem bothered by something,” a deeper voice called from the workstation on one side of the room.
Vas eyed his Master with a frown.
“Master Japes, I felt like someone... something is calling to me. Like...this feels silly but like family just appeared and then vanished. Fellow children of stone and earth,” Vas closed his eyes and for a moment, under his shirt came a kaleidoscope of rainbow colours that shined. Japes appeared and put a hand on Vas’ shoulder, stopping the glow.
“Do not wear your heart on your sleeve... it belongs to me after all,” Japes smiled and it was a human one instead of his normal face splitting one.
“I know, but it’s been getting harder to control now that Miss Delta is growing. Like I’m getting filled up,” he complained childishly.
Master Japes merely patted his head, making his cap go askew.
“Then you best go and spend some of that energy. It’s a nice day. Why don’t you go find that child, Deo, and go on an adventure!” Japes clapped his hands. Vas looked up at the Potter of Durence in despair.
“Go outside? Be around people? I'd much rather stand still in the garden!” Vas protested but he blinked and found himself outside the front door with his master closing the door.
“No sass. Be a good child and go be a child. I shall be gone for the day and I’ve turned on the wards so you can’t sneak in through the window... have fun! I have a lot to do with the samples I got from the Spider Domain. Shame it exploded, but this is Durence...” the cheerful evil voice of Vas’ master called before the door slammed shut.
Vas stared at the sunshine. At the passing animated people... at the very town coming to life.
He turned and began to hammer on the door.
“I’ll be a good golem! Don’t make me go outside!” he begged and he felt a chill as something loomed up behind him.
He turned to see the sun beaming down at him. The godly being spoke and windows rattled.
“HI VAS! MISTER JAPES SAID YOU WANTED TO HANG OUT! I GOT THE LETTER A MINUTE AGO! IT CAME INSIDE MY CHOCOLATE EGG INSTEAD OF THE TOY I WAS EXPECTING! HOW DID HE DO THAT?” Deo ‘spoke’.
Vas smiled weakly.
“Master Japes is very good at manipulating closed spaces,” he said politely then he said the worst thing he could have.
“I can also make some enchanted spaces and such,” he humbly bragged.
Deo’s smile reached his eyes and Vas cursed his master. Silently, deep inside... and backwards... just in case his master could hear.
Even then he apologized in his head.
“I GOT SO MANY SPIDER BITS I NEED TO HIDE BEFORE MY MUM SEARCHES MY CLOSET!” Deo carried Vas into the busy life of Durence.
“ALSO YOU NEED TO MEET KEMY! SHE’S REALLY NICE!”
Vas prayed that his Master would get bored and come for him soon.
“SHE’S WITH QUISS IN THE BAR RIGHT NOW!”
On the other hand, Vas really had not been outside in a while and it would do his complexion good to soak up some heat.
---
Wyin watched as Sir Fran climbed the stairs and entered her boss room.
Such a scene... every fibre of her being protested that this should not be. Two bosses in one room when they were not part of a pair? It wasn’t even like Mother Delta had a boss rush mode... this just felt alien.
She opened her mouth... closed it then tried again. But no words would come. Damn it. She was a boss too so why was she so flustered around Sir Fran?
The first... of them all. In so many ways. How could Wyin even bother to try to live up to that. It wasn’t like many folks would make it past Sir Fran and the jungle to reach her.
She was just a needed element but Fran was wonderful. A true boss.
“May we sit and chat?” Sir Fran asked politely. Wyin cleared the mist and with some minor effort, pushed two roundish root knots up for Fran and Mister Bacon to sit. Mister Bacon settled down and blinked up at her.
What a cute little pig. It was Sir Fran’s, so of course it would be cute.
“How can I help you?” Wyin aimed for casual calmness and came off as frigid. She wanted to hit herself with a thorny branch as Fran seemed to hesitate..
“I want to apologise,” Fran began and Wyin’s mind went blank. Apologise? To Wyin?
Had Wyin missed some letter or maybe Fran tried to talk to her before?! No, Wyin would have known... she was always hoping to get a message from the other Boss when her own floor monsters didn’t seem to interact with her outside of Luna. That energetic frog was lovely if not a bit of a child at times.
“I meant to congratulate you on becoming a fellow boss and should have asked if you needed help or tips, but thankfully it seems like that won’t be needed,” the knight peered around and smiled at her room. Wyin was glad she had bark. She felt sap flowing to her cheeks.
“You and Mother did a great job. This is a lovely grove for a boss,” he praised. Wyin gave a choked laugh and tried not to look or sound too pleased as she made nonsense words and smacked Fran lightly in jest.
The poor knight was sent flying and Wyin felt her world screech to a halt as he bounced three times. Mister Bacon watched this, tail wagging as if amused.
Sir Fran stood and stretched.
“And strong as I expected. I feel quite happy, Lady Wyin. I know that the lower floors are safe under your protection,” the knight grinned, a little fang sticking out from his lip and Wyin wanted to grow legs and run.
Maybe she could?
She focused but all she got was the feeling of her roots curling in nervous glee.
“I was thinking that perhaps we could start daily meetings? For the bosses that can move. I can come down and we can discuss issues that only us bosses would feel would be important, if that’s okay?” The knight asked and Wyin blinked.
A meeting...for bosses?
A union? Or Bosses Anonymous?
It meant spending more time with Sir Fran...
“I would be fine with that but do remember to knock, I am a lady after all,” Wyin tried to look sultry and Fran bowed, missing the look.
“Perhaps I should sit outside the room and we can talk from a distance. I do not want you to feel like I am invading you,” Fran mused.
“NO! I mean... a waste of time and energy. I shall prepare a meeting table and refreshments. Honey...fruit... rabbit haunches. We shall feast in glorious success of bloodshed and victory!” Wyin crooned then froze as she rethought what she just said.
Damn it, she had promised Mother Delta not to kill!
“I’d like that. I’ll bring fish and booze,” Fran agreed with another one of those fanged smiles.
He bowed once more.
“Until next time, Lady Wyin of the second floor,” Sir Fran left, Mister Bacon trotting after him.
Wyin gathered her mist so no one could see her smile.
“And to you...Sir Fran of the first Floor.”
Maestro began to play some slow dance music, but Wyin’s frosty glare muted him after a few seconds.
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Chapter 87: Grotesque Puns
Ruli rested her form against what could only be another inner gate-like door.
You’d almost think these cult blokes and their monsters didn’t want people raiding their shit. Shame about that, Ruli was feeling rather neighbourly. Not that she had much strength left to swing a dirty look let alone the well-balanced sword at her side. The forces had just kept coming to the point that even with her demon blood boiling, she couldn’t keep the onslaught up for too much longer.
She thought she’d done well, though. The sheer amount of bodies that hit the floor would have given a new meaning to what her Mum would consider... messy.
That was when that nasally undead prick screamed so loudly that everything just stopped. A black cloud of energy with a face that could have been the captain’s rushed past and vanished through the cracks of the door she now rested against.
Delta and Fran had done the trick. Hard to imagine that soft-looking lass doing anything mean, but that was the kinda person Ruli avoided teasing too much. Nice ones and all that. They really blew a gasket when pushed too far and being a Dungeon just made it even more likely that weird things would happen.
Ruli managed to raise her head long enough to see a few skeletons standing still, while some fell apart bone by bone as the minutes ticked by. Their glowing eyes flickered and faded as that foul energy was sucked back into the ground and floors. Good thing too, because her fingers dropped the sword as even that was too much for her.
Ruli grimaced.
If Quiss saw her now... he’d laugh so hard and Ruli would burst a chakra point to stand and deck him in the jaw for it. Then again, if Quiss was here... Ruli wouldn’t have minded the backup. One of the more animated looking skeletons turned its head and shuffled towards her, boney finger tips gleaming.
“Fuck off, if I get knocked off by a bag of bones, I’ll be pissed. You’re just a really naked person, I wanna at least get my head crushed by a dragon or some shit,” Ruli spat. There wasn’t enough life or awareness left in the thing other than the undead’s desire to kill her.
Ruli began to push herself up, ignoring the dark stains she left on the door. A damn lucky bite in the side from a goat with fangs. Like Von’s dog, it was a creature that didn’t need those fangs or a desire for blood but this place was fucked up.
She reached down, fingers shaking, for the sword - and she almost fell to her knees. Her demon blood too busy filtering out the various poisons that she had been injected with. It was just as bad as the damn cold, making her body weak and feverish.
It was amazing that after everything Ruli fought... the damn common cold was the only foe keeping up with her.
The boney bastard exploded as one of the nine doors opened and the kobold from before stood there.
“You look like something Jeb chewed on and spat out,” the lizard commented. It was sweet music to Ruli’s ears. She could almost sense a fellow lover of dry wit and sarcasm.
He looked around and his jolly mood seemed to stutter for a moment.
“I haven’t seen this room in... oh must be about 70 years,” he mused. He was kicked forward as the feminine frog from before marched in. Ruli hadn’t met the frog folks of the second floor properly yet but it was on her list.
This monster reminded her of Dabberghast. If Dabberghast hadn’t taken her issues out on various deforesting companies and litter bugs. A type of small gremlin with too many legs that loved spreading as much mess as they could in the green places of the world.
“30... 50... NOW 70! Can you please stay consistent?” the woman demanded. She... was covered in some thick slimy red goop.
“Devina, don’t be mad just because you jammed up the fight,” Cois grunted with amusement. Ruli had never been so happy to see so many non-humans in her life.
“It was a blood elemental gone past its due date. It attacked me,” the woman glared at Cois. Ruli could smell the old blood now that she focused. No one seemed to meet her eyes but Rale the monstrously buff frog in what seemed to be swim shorts spoke.
“You did great! It exploded and you stomped the jam blob’s core so hard that it began to cry. You truly are an impressive warrior, my fellow frog!” he guffawed and slapped Devina hard on the back.
“Well at least Inchy is leaving me alone,” Devina mumbled. Everyone paused and looked back into the kitchen where a tiny shrill voice chanted endless jokes at a sobbing elemental core, if Ruli was following the conversation right.
“Hey... sorry to be a bother but don’t suppose any of you know some non-holy healing magic? I kinda wasted all my energy doing cool tricks with this sword. Also, where’s Delta?” she slumped back down to the ground, a bit annoyed she let a flash of pain show.
Devina frowned and her pissed expression turned calm and focused as she came close to peer at Ruli’s back. Cois twirled his staff with a dark smile.
“I can seal the wound but you’ll be cooked for a while?” he offered. Ruli was about to retort when she hissed as Devina prodded her wounds with a glowing green finger.
“You’re injured. Rale, use those muscles for something other than being distracting and help Miss Ruli to the core room. It’ll be easier for her body to recover away from the cursed touch of this place,” she ordered. Ruli glared at her.
“I can handle myself, I need no man to lift-” she began and Devina smacked her on the nose with a finger.
“Child, I swear to mother I will seal your mouth shut with this dried blood goop if I have to. This has been a very trying day for me. Shush and let me help you,” the frog growled back. Ruli bristled and then mumbled as she felt Rale lift her with ease.
“I’m sure I’m older than you by quite a lot of years,” she said finally. Devina merely raised her version of a brow.
“Then I dare say you will have to start acting like it, Miss Ruli,” the frog replied waspishly.
Ruli couldn’t retort to that so she turned to Rale.
“I think she needs some tadpoles to mother, get on that will you?” she said and Devina’s choking noises were like honey.
Cois’ cackles were just the cherry on top. Ruli smirked and her eyes fell...once... then twice as she felt that cold aura leave her body. She blinked with exhaustion up at the orange sized core of Delta. It acted like the setting sun and it made Ruli’s skin feel warm.
She looked down to see some giant goblin laying Delta’s sleeping avatar down on the ground which Rale placed Ruli next to.
“Is she okay?” she mumbled. The goblin peered at her and she stared as she finally saw it was Fran the boss.
He looked... bigger.
“Yes. She channeled her Mana that had gathered, eager to consume the feast hall, into me instead. It will take a day or so for the Dungeon to take over the hall now but Mother... pieced me back together at the last moment. It took a toll on her,” Fran frowned. He kneeled and, to Ruli’s surprise, brushed Delta’s hair out of her eyes.
“She risks far too much for us but we’d do the same for her,” Fran smiled. Rale nodded seriously.
“I’ll break anyone who makes her cry,” Rale agreed. Ruli snorted.
“It’s not sexy to be a bunch of momma’s boys,” she mumbled and Delta shifted and her hand was close to Ruli’s. Warm heat radiated off it and then Delta’s face began to twitch as if she was having a bad dream.
Ruli took the hand and after a few seconds of real physical contact... so real and human... Delta’s hand phased through her own and the avatar turned blurry and hard to see once more.
But the peace that Delta got from the contact was enough to make Ruli feel better.
She closed her own eyes...
Being so close to a Dungeon Core was the best medicine a demon could get.
Dungeons took Mana from the area and people, made it into potent and purified Mana before filtering it back into the world. Demon’s didn’t have Mana. Not like the people of the Deep World.
They were more easily affected by Dungeons than humans... but the Dungeons couldn’t take anything from them. It was unfair... Ruli didn’t want to be unfair to her... Dungeon.
She began to hum a stupid tune. Like the one her Mum sang for her when she was scared by the demon horns that sprouted from her head when she was a young girl... the claws... her father who looked so scary to a young Ruli.
That song followed her here to this moment and it slipped out with little care.
Ruli hummed and hummed. Delta’s shaken breathing soothed and became deep and gentle.
She never saw Rale leave as Fran settled in with his pig to guard them both.
Just a demon princess, a Dungeon Core, and a Pig Knight.
Nothing odd here.
Ruli smiled and sleep took her.
---
Fran watched as his Mother and Ruli slept, his form shrinking slowly as the power left him. Soon, he would be back to his base form. Then he would diminish more if he did not return to his boss room - but for now, he had time.
He sat in the pulsing light of Mother’s core. Guarding and watching.
Both against the deeper evils of this place... and the gleaming sword leaning against the wall that appeared between one blink and another. That thing seemed to share the feeling Fran had. Of guarding something and Fran let this fellow protector stay... for now.
He petted Bacon who let Mother rest against his soft underbelly like a giant snoring pillow.
Fran closed his eyes and touched his chest where something odd now rested. A core of some kind. A tiny orb of Mother and... himself.
It rested just below his chest and it felt like a trapped bird slowly resting, the fluttering wings it had during battle now resting as the glow of the core washed over him.N0v3lRealm was the platform where this chapter was initially revealed on N0v3l.B1n.
This was his mother’s gift to Fran and he would protect it.
He felt warmth flow from the thing and he smiled to himself as Mother’s Mana seemed to coax something new from this object. A source of Mana that reminded Fran of clashing metal... and pigs.
It reminded Fran of... Fran.
----.
Jack inhaled and exhaled.
The black fountain in the middle of this dark garden had stopped spluttering the gunk that flowed from the inner rooms of this place. He had been here... he couldn’t guess how long ago despite how much he liked to pretend he hadn’t lost awareness of his time and existence.
No mercy! Only GLORY! FOR DELTA!
---
Delta snored and Ruli matched her, like a violin being backed by a cello.
A nervous menu box appeared and Nu who was floating nearby turned and began to laugh.
Oh this will be good.
Nu’s text rang with more laughter.
You have consumed 10 or more Gargoyles(comatose). Gargoyles are now available as a monster for the Third floor!
Delta turned in her sleep. Unaware of her various forces at work.
---
In Durence, a boy stopped sweeping. He turned slowly on the spot before looking down at his shiny shoes.
“You seem bothered by something,” a deeper voice called from the workstation on one side of the room.
Vas eyed his Master with a frown.
“Master Japes, I felt like someone... something is calling to me. Like...this feels silly but like family just appeared and then vanished. Fellow children of stone and earth,” Vas closed his eyes and for a moment, under his shirt came a kaleidoscope of rainbow colours that shined. Japes appeared and put a hand on Vas’ shoulder, stopping the glow.
“Do not wear your heart on your sleeve... it belongs to me after all,” Japes smiled and it was a human one instead of his normal face splitting one.
“I know, but it’s been getting harder to control now that Miss Delta is growing. Like I’m getting filled up,” he complained childishly.
Master Japes merely patted his head, making his cap go askew.
“Then you best go and spend some of that energy. It’s a nice day. Why don’t you go find that child, Deo, and go on an adventure!” Japes clapped his hands. Vas looked up at the Potter of Durence in despair.
“Go outside? Be around people? I'd much rather stand still in the garden!” Vas protested but he blinked and found himself outside the front door with his master closing the door.
“No sass. Be a good child and go be a child. I shall be gone for the day and I’ve turned on the wards so you can’t sneak in through the window... have fun! I have a lot to do with the samples I got from the Spider Domain. Shame it exploded, but this is Durence...” the cheerful evil voice of Vas’ master called before the door slammed shut.
Vas stared at the sunshine. At the passing animated people... at the very town coming to life.
He turned and began to hammer on the door.
“I’ll be a good golem! Don’t make me go outside!” he begged and he felt a chill as something loomed up behind him.
He turned to see the sun beaming down at him. The godly being spoke and windows rattled.
“HI VAS! MISTER JAPES SAID YOU WANTED TO HANG OUT! I GOT THE LETTER A MINUTE AGO! IT CAME INSIDE MY CHOCOLATE EGG INSTEAD OF THE TOY I WAS EXPECTING! HOW DID HE DO THAT?” Deo ‘spoke’.
Vas smiled weakly.
“Master Japes is very good at manipulating closed spaces,” he said politely then he said the worst thing he could have.
“I can also make some enchanted spaces and such,” he humbly bragged.
Deo’s smile reached his eyes and Vas cursed his master. Silently, deep inside... and backwards... just in case his master could hear.
Even then he apologized in his head.
“I GOT SO MANY SPIDER BITS I NEED TO HIDE BEFORE MY MUM SEARCHES MY CLOSET!” Deo carried Vas into the busy life of Durence.
“ALSO YOU NEED TO MEET KEMY! SHE’S REALLY NICE!”
Vas prayed that his Master would get bored and come for him soon.
“SHE’S WITH QUISS IN THE BAR RIGHT NOW!”
On the other hand, Vas really had not been outside in a while and it would do his complexion good to soak up some heat.
---
Wyin watched as Sir Fran climbed the stairs and entered her boss room.
Such a scene... every fibre of her being protested that this should not be. Two bosses in one room when they were not part of a pair? It wasn’t even like Mother Delta had a boss rush mode... this just felt alien.
She opened her mouth... closed it then tried again. But no words would come. Damn it. She was a boss too so why was she so flustered around Sir Fran?
The first... of them all. In so many ways. How could Wyin even bother to try to live up to that. It wasn’t like many folks would make it past Sir Fran and the jungle to reach her.
She was just a needed element but Fran was wonderful. A true boss.
“May we sit and chat?” Sir Fran asked politely. Wyin cleared the mist and with some minor effort, pushed two roundish root knots up for Fran and Mister Bacon to sit. Mister Bacon settled down and blinked up at her.
What a cute little pig. It was Sir Fran’s, so of course it would be cute.
“How can I help you?” Wyin aimed for casual calmness and came off as frigid. She wanted to hit herself with a thorny branch as Fran seemed to hesitate..
“I want to apologise,” Fran began and Wyin’s mind went blank. Apologise? To Wyin?
Had Wyin missed some letter or maybe Fran tried to talk to her before?! No, Wyin would have known... she was always hoping to get a message from the other Boss when her own floor monsters didn’t seem to interact with her outside of Luna. That energetic frog was lovely if not a bit of a child at times.
“I meant to congratulate you on becoming a fellow boss and should have asked if you needed help or tips, but thankfully it seems like that won’t be needed,” the knight peered around and smiled at her room. Wyin was glad she had bark. She felt sap flowing to her cheeks.
“You and Mother did a great job. This is a lovely grove for a boss,” he praised. Wyin gave a choked laugh and tried not to look or sound too pleased as she made nonsense words and smacked Fran lightly in jest.
The poor knight was sent flying and Wyin felt her world screech to a halt as he bounced three times. Mister Bacon watched this, tail wagging as if amused.
Sir Fran stood and stretched.
“And strong as I expected. I feel quite happy, Lady Wyin. I know that the lower floors are safe under your protection,” the knight grinned, a little fang sticking out from his lip and Wyin wanted to grow legs and run.
Maybe she could?
She focused but all she got was the feeling of her roots curling in nervous glee.
“I was thinking that perhaps we could start daily meetings? For the bosses that can move. I can come down and we can discuss issues that only us bosses would feel would be important, if that’s okay?” The knight asked and Wyin blinked.
A meeting...for bosses?
A union? Or Bosses Anonymous?
It meant spending more time with Sir Fran...
“I would be fine with that but do remember to knock, I am a lady after all,” Wyin tried to look sultry and Fran bowed, missing the look.
“Perhaps I should sit outside the room and we can talk from a distance. I do not want you to feel like I am invading you,” Fran mused.
“NO! I mean... a waste of time and energy. I shall prepare a meeting table and refreshments. Honey...fruit... rabbit haunches. We shall feast in glorious success of bloodshed and victory!” Wyin crooned then froze as she rethought what she just said.
Damn it, she had promised Mother Delta not to kill!
“I’d like that. I’ll bring fish and booze,” Fran agreed with another one of those fanged smiles.
He bowed once more.
“Until next time, Lady Wyin of the second floor,” Sir Fran left, Mister Bacon trotting after him.
Wyin gathered her mist so no one could see her smile.
“And to you...Sir Fran of the first Floor.”
Maestro began to play some slow dance music, but Wyin’s frosty glare muted him after a few seconds.
Chapter 87: Grotesque PunsRuli rested her form against what could only be another inner gate-like door.You'd almost think these cult blokes and their monsters didn't want people raiding their shit. Shame about that, Ruli was feeling rather neighbourly. Not that she had much strength left to swing a dirty look let alone the well-balanced sword at her side. The forces had just kept coming to the point that even with her demon blood boiling, she couldn't keep the onslaught up for too much longer.She thought she'd done well, though. The sheer amount of bodies that hit the floor would have given a new meaning to what her Mum would consider... messy.That was when that nasally undead prick screamed so loudly that everything just stopped. A black cloud of energy with a face that could have been the captain's rushed past and vanished through the cracks of the door she now rested against.Delta and Fran had done the trick. Hard to imagine that soft-looking lass doing anything mean, but that was the kinda person Ruli avoided teasing too much. Nice ones and all that. They really blew a gasket when pushed too far and being a Dungeon just made it even more likely that weird things would happen.Ruli managed to raise her head long enough to see a few skeletons standing still, while some fell apart bone by bone as the minutes ticked by. Their glowing eyes flickered and faded as that foul energy was sucked back into the ground and floors. Good thing too, because her fingers dropped the sword as even that was too much for her.Ruli grimaced.If Quiss saw her now... he'd laugh so hard and Ruli would burst a chakra point to stand and deck him in the jaw for it. Then again, if Quiss was here... Ruli wouldn't have minded the backup. One of the more animated looking skeletons turned its head and shuffled towards her, boney finger tips gleaming.Fuck off, if I get knocked off by a bag of bones, I'll be pissed. You're just a really naked person, I wanna at least get my head crushed by a dragon or some shit, Ruli spat. There wasn't enough life or awareness left in the thing other than the undead's desire to kill her.Ruli began to push herself up, ignoring the dark stains she left on the door. A damn lucky bite in the side from a goat with fangs. Like Von's dog, it was a creature that didn't need those fangs or a desire for blood but this place was fucked up.She reached down, fingers shaking, for the sword - and she almost fell to her knees. Her demon blood too busy filtering out the various poisons that she had been injected with. It was just as bad as the damn cold, making her body weak and feverish.It was amazing that after everything Ruli fought... the damn common cold was the only foe keeping up with her.The boney bastard exploded as one of the nine doors opened and the kobold from before stood there.You look like something Jeb chewed on and spat out, the lizard commented. It was sweet music to Ruli's ears. She could almost sense a fellow lover of dry wit and sarcasm.He looked around and his jolly mood seemed to stutter for a moment.I haven't seen this room in... oh must be about 70 years, he mused. He was kicked forward as the feminine frog from before marched in. Ruli hadn't met the frog folks of the second floor properly yet but it was on her list.This monster reminded her of Dabberghast. If Dabberghast hadn't taken her issues out on various deforesting companies and litter bugs. A type of small gremlin with too many legs that loved spreading as much mess as they could in the green places of the world.30... 50... NOW 70! Can you please stay consistent? the woman demanded. She... was covered in some thick slimy red goop.Devina, don't be mad just because you jammed up the fight, Cois grunted with amusement. Ruli had never been so happy to see so many non-humans in her life.It was a blood elemental gone past its due date. It attacked me, the woman glared at Cois. Ruli could smell the old blood now that she focused. No one seemed to meet her eyes but Rale the monstrously buff frog in what seemed to be swim shorts spoke.You did great! It exploded and you stomped the jam blob's core so hard that it began to cry. You truly are an impressive warrior, my fellow frog! he guffawed and slapped Devina hard on the back.Well at least Inchy is leaving me alone, Devina mumbled. Everyone paused and looked back into the kitchen where a tiny shrill voice chanted endless jokes at a sobbing elemental core, if Ruli was following the conversation right.Hey... sorry to be a bother but don't suppose any of you know some non-holy healing magic? I kinda wasted all my energy doing cool tricks with this sword. Also, where's Delta? she slumped back down to the ground, a bit annoyed she let a flash of pain show.Devina frowned and her pissed expression turned calm and focused as she came close to peer at Ruli's back. Cois twirled his staff with a dark smile.I can seal the wound but you'll be cooked for a while? he offered. Ruli was about to retort when she hissed as Devina prodded her wounds with a glowing green finger.You're injured. Rale, use those muscles for something other than being distracting and help Miss Ruli to the core room. It'll be easier for her body to recover away from the cursed touch of this place, she ordered. Ruli glared at her.I can handle myself, I need no man to lift- she began and Devina smacked her on the nose with a finger.Child, I swear to mother I will seal your mouth shut with this dried blood goop if I have to. This has been a very trying day for me. Shush and let me help you, the frog growled back. Ruli bristled and then mumbled as she felt Rale lift her with ease.I'm sure I'm older than you by quite a lot of years, she said finally. Devina merely raised her version of a brow.Then I dare say you will have to start acting like it, Miss Ruli, the frog replied waspishly.Ruli couldn't retort to that so she turned to Rale.I think she needs some tadpoles to mother, get on that will you? she said and Devina's choking noises were like honey.Cois' cackles were just the cherry on top. Ruli smirked and her eyes fell...once... then twice as she felt that cold aura leave her body. She blinked with exhaustion up at the orange sized core of Delta. It acted like the setting sun and it made Ruli's skin feel warm.She looked down to see some giant goblin laying Delta's sleeping avatar down on the ground which Rale placed Ruli next to.Is she okay? she mumbled. The goblin peered at her and she stared as she finally saw it was Fran the boss.He looked... bigger.Yes. She channeled her Mana that had gathered, eager to consume the feast hall, into me instead. It will take a day or so for the Dungeon to take over the hall now but Mother... pieced me back together at the last moment. It took a toll on her, Fran frowned. He kneeled and, to Ruli's surprise, brushed Delta's hair out of her eyes.She risks far too much for us but we'd do the same for her, Fran smiled. Rale nodded seriously.I'll break anyone who makes her cry, Rale agreed. Ruli snorted.It's not sexy to be a bunch of momma's boys, she mumbled and Delta shifted and her hand was close to Ruli's. Warm heat radiated off it and then Delta's face began to twitch as if she was having a bad dream.Ruli took the hand and after a few seconds of real physical contact... so real and human... Delta's hand phased through her own and the avatar turned blurry and hard to see once more.But the peace that Delta got from the contact was enough to make Ruli feel better.She closed her own eyes...Being so close to a Dungeon Core was the best medicine a demon could get.Dungeons took Mana from the area and people, made it into potent and purified Mana before filtering it back into the world. Demon's didn't have Mana. Not like the people of the Deep World.They were more easily affected by Dungeons than humans... but the Dungeons couldn't take anything from them. It was unfair... Ruli didn't want to be unfair to her... Dungeon.She began to hum a stupid tune. Like the one her Mum sang for her when she was scared by the demon horns that sprouted from her head when she was a young girl... the claws... her father who looked so scary to a young Ruli.That song followed her here to this moment and it slipped out with little care.Ruli hummed and hummed. Delta's shaken breathing soothed and became deep and gentle.She never saw Rale leave as Fran settled in with his pig to guard them both.Just a demon princess, a Dungeon Core, and a Pig Knight.Nothing odd here.Ruli smiled and sleep took her.---Fran watched as his Mother and Ruli slept, his form shrinking slowly as the power left him. Soon, he would be back to his base form. Then he would diminish more if he did not return to his boss room - but for now, he had time.He sat in the pulsing light of Mother's core. Guarding and watching.Both against the deeper evils of this place... and the gleaming sword leaning against the wall that appeared between one blink and another. That thing seemed to share the feeling Fran had. Of guarding something and Fran let this fellow protector stay... for now.He petted Bacon who let Mother rest against his soft underbelly like a giant snoring pillow.Fran closed his eyes and touched his chest where something odd now rested. A core of some kind. A tiny orb of Mother and... himself.It rested just below his chest and it felt like a trapped bird slowly resting, the fluttering wings it had during battle now resting as the glow of the core washed over him.N0v3lRealm was the platform where this chapter was initially revealed on N0v3l.B1n.This was his mother's gift to Fran and he would protect it.He felt warmth flow from the thing and he smiled to himself as Mother's Mana seemed to coax something new from this object. A source of Mana that reminded Fran of clashing metal... and pigs.It reminded Fran of... Fran.----.Jack inhaled and exhaled.The black fountain in the middle of this dark garden had stopped spluttering the gunk that flowed from the inner rooms of this place. He had been here... he couldn't guess how long ago despite how much he liked to pretend he hadn't lost awareness of his time and existence.No mercy! Only GLORY! FOR DELTA!---Delta snored and Ruli matched her, like a violin being backed by a cello.A nervous menu box appeared and Nu who was floating nearby turned and began to laugh.Oh this will be good. Nu's text rang with more laughter.You have consumed 10 or more Gargoylescomatose. Gargoyles are now available as a monster for the Third floor! Delta turned in her sleep. Unaware of her various forces at work.---In Durence, a boy stopped sweeping. He turned slowly on the spot before looking down at his shiny shoes.You seem bothered by something, a deeper voice called from the workstation on one side of the room.Vas eyed his Master with a frown.Master Japes, I felt like someone... something is calling to me. Like...this feels silly but like family just appeared and then vanished. Fellow children of stone and earth, Vas closed his eyes and for a moment, under his shirt came a kaleidoscope of rainbow colours that shined. Japes appeared and put a hand on Vas' shoulder, stopping the glow.Do not wear your heart on your sleeve... it belongs to me after all, Japes smiled and it was a human one instead of his normal face splitting one.I know, but it's been getting harder to control now that Miss Delta is growing. Like I'm getting filled up, he complained childishly.Master Japes merely patted his head, making his cap go askew.Then you best go and spend some of that energy. It's a nice day. Why don't you go find that child, Deo, and go on an adventure! Japes clapped his hands. Vas looked up at the Potter of Durence in despair.Go outside? Be around people? I'd much rather stand still in the garden! Vas protested but he blinked and found himself outside the front door with his master closing the door.No sass. Be a good child and go be a child. I shall be gone for the day and I've turned on the wards so you can't sneak in through the window... have fun! I have a lot to do with the samples I got from the Spider Domain. Shame it exploded, but this is Durence... the cheerful evil voice of Vas' master called before the door slammed shut.Vas stared at the sunshine. At the passing animated people... at the very town coming to life.He turned and began to hammer on the door.I'll be a good golem! Don't make me go outside! he begged and he felt a chill as something loomed up behind him.He turned to see the sun beaming down at him. The godly being spoke and windows rattled.HI VAS! MISTER JAPES SAID YOU WANTED TO HANG OUT! I GOT THE LETTER A MINUTE AGO! IT CAME INSIDE MY CHOCOLATE EGG INSTEAD OF THE TOY I WAS EXPECTING! HOW DID HE DO THAT? Deo spoke'.Vas smiled weakly.Master Japes is very good at manipulating closed spaces, he said politely then he said the worst thing he could have.I can also make some enchanted spaces and such, he humbly bragged.Deo's smile reached his eyes and Vas cursed his master. Silently, deep inside... and backwards... just in case his master could hear.Even then he apologized in his head.I GOT SO MANY SPIDER BITS I NEED TO HIDE BEFORE MY MUM SEARCHES MY CLOSET! Deo carried Vas into the busy life of Durence.ALSO YOU NEED TO MEET KEMY! SHE'S REALLY NICE!Vas prayed that his Master would get bored and come for him soon.SHE'S WITH QUISS IN THE BAR RIGHT NOW!On the other hand, Vas really had not been outside in a while and it would do his complexion good to soak up some heat.---Wyin watched as Sir Fran climbed the stairs and entered her boss room.Such a scene... every fibre of her being protested that this should not be. Two bosses in one room when they were not part of a pair? It wasn't even like Mother Delta had a boss rush mode... this just felt alien.She opened her mouth... closed it then tried again. But no words would come. Damn it. She was a boss too so why was she so flustered around Sir Fran?The first... of them all. In so many ways. How could Wyin even bother to try to live up to that. It wasn't like many folks would make it past Sir Fran and the jungle to reach her.She was just a needed element but Fran was wonderful. A true boss.May we sit and chat? Sir Fran asked politely. Wyin cleared the mist and with some minor effort, pushed two roundish root knots up for Fran and Mister Bacon to sit. Mister Bacon settled down and blinked up at her.What a cute little pig. It was Sir Fran's, so of course it would be cute.How can I help you? Wyin aimed for casual calmness and came off as frigid. She wanted to hit herself with a thorny branch as Fran seemed to hesitate..I want to apologise, Fran began and Wyin's mind went blank. Apologise? To Wyin?Had Wyin missed some letter or maybe Fran tried to talk to her before?! No, Wyin would have known... she was always hoping to get a message from the other Boss when her own floor monsters didn't seem to interact with her outside of Luna. That energetic frog was lovely if not a bit of a child at times.I meant to congratulate you on becoming a fellow boss and should have asked if you needed help or tips, but thankfully it seems like that won't be needed, the knight peered around and smiled at her room. Wyin was glad she had bark. She felt sap flowing to her cheeks.You and Mother did a great job. This is a lovely grove for a boss, he praised. Wyin gave a choked laugh and tried not to look or sound too pleased as she made nonsense words and smacked Fran lightly in jest.The poor knight was sent flying and Wyin felt her world screech to a halt as he bounced three times. Mister Bacon watched this, tail wagging as if amused.Sir Fran stood and stretched.And strong as I expected. I feel quite happy, Lady Wyin. I know that the lower floors are safe under your protection, the knight grinned, a little fang sticking out from his lip and Wyin wanted to grow legs and run.Maybe she could?She focused but all she got was the feeling of her roots curling in nervous glee.I was thinking that perhaps we could start daily meetings? For the bosses that can move. I can come down and we can discuss issues that only us bosses would feel would be important, if that's okay? The knight asked and Wyin blinked.A meeting...for bosses?A union? Or Bosses Anonymous?It meant spending more time with Sir Fran...I would be fine with that but do remember to knock, I am a lady after all, Wyin tried to look sultry and Fran bowed, missing the look.Perhaps I should sit outside the room and we can talk from a distance. I do not want you to feel like I am invading you, Fran mused.NO! I mean... a waste of time and energy. I shall prepare a meeting table and refreshments. Honey...fruit... rabbit haunches. We shall feast in glorious success of bloodshed and victory! Wyin crooned then froze as she rethought what she just said.Damn it, she had promised Mother Delta not to kill!I'd like that. I'll bring fish and booze, Fran agreed with another one of those fanged smiles.He bowed once more.Until next time, Lady Wyin of the second floor, Sir Fran left, Mister Bacon trotting after him.Wyin gathered her mist so no one could see her smile.And to you...Sir Fran of the first Floor.Maestro began to play some slow dance music, but Wyin's frosty glare muted him after a few seconds.
