Yu She placed Zhong Wan lightly on the ground, leaving the compartment at an unhurried pace.
Face pale and eyes bloodshot, Yu She looked straight at Xuan Rui as if he himself were a malicious spirit. In a hoarse voice, he said, “The poison in his body…”
The moment Xuan Rui had caught sight of Yu She, he was frightened to the point of kneeling. For a moment, he couldn’t react. “Y-Yu She?”
“I…” Incredulous, Yu She stared at Xuan Rui. He muttered as he fumed with rage, “Had I been mad back then? I had actually let him go on purpose, let him go to you. I… I obviously couldn’t bear to let him go, yet I actually indulged his desire to find you. I…”
Blood appeared in Yu She’s mouth. He really wished he could return to seven years ago and wake himself up with a slap.
He had been so stupid, submissively giving such a good Guiyuan to that thing.
Yu She did his utmost to restrain the evil thoughts in his heart. Before he came to this place, he had already crafted a great plan. One, he and Zhong Wan would enter this rural manor in secret. Two, he’d have people capture the two younger children of Prince Ning and bring them here. So as to let those two children see clearly just who was letting down whom. In this way, when he removed Xuan Rui’s position as a Prince of the Second Rank in the future, those children wouldn’t misunderstand Zhong Wan. And Zhong Wan’s painstaking efforts for so many years would not be in vain.
Yu She had obviously tried his best not to have Zhong Wan heartbroken.
Out of instinct, he touched the dagger hanging by his waist. In any case, since he had already made a mistake, making another didn’t matter. What if he just killed him directly now…?
Meanwhile, Tang Ming noticed that although people had arrived, they weren’t large in number. At first, he had been happy, but no matter where he looked, he couldn’t find Zhong Wan. The moment he had caught sight of Yu She, he paled. Absentminded, he said, “Why is it you?!”
Yu She closed his eyes. Turned to look at Tang Ming. He took a deep breath and said in a low voice, “Leave the people of Qian An and this old thing alive. Everyone else in this rural manor… Kill… Don’t let even one person live. Burn down the rural manor.”
Frightened to the extreme, Tang Ming said, “Outside my manor, there’s still—”
“It’s already been settled.” Yu She’s trusted aides and family soldiers all cupped their hands in obeisance. “Just a while ago, when we brought Young Miss and Young Master here, we subordinates leaked our location by accident. We feared alarming other people and messing up Heir’s plan, so simply killed those people first. There are seventeen people in the rural manor, and twenty-three outside it. On the road, providing support, were fourteen people. Right?”
“Yu She!” shouted Tang Ming, furious.
“Shut up.” Yu She’s voice proved hoarse. “You better pray that Zhong Wan is alright. Otherwise… I won’t let anyone in this house escape alive.”
Yu She turned around and returned to the inner chamber. He picked up Zhong Wan, thoughts frantic. “Let’s r-return home.”
Yu She wrapped Zhong Wan in his own cloak. Supported him up a horse. A few family soldiers escorted them back to the capital, not once glancing back.
Zhong Wan had a dream.
In it, he was an ignorant child, very naughty and mischievous. Every day, he and Lin Si stirred up trouble in Prince Ning’s estate. They’d climb trees and steal the eggs from bird nests. Went into the stream to catch carps. After they had worn a good set of new clothes for two days, those clothes would have to be repaired.
Every day, the older female servant taking care of him always had this task: to help them repair their clothes. But because she couldn’t keep up, she retrieved some durable and rough cloth from the storeroom. To use to make clothes for them instead. Princess Consort Ning couldn’t bear to see this, so she said…
Said that even if Zhong Wan was an adopted son, he was still the prince’s son. He must not wear clothes that had been patched up.
Princess Consort Ning chose the most densely woven silk to make his clothes. Then she specially ordered people to stitch pieces of tanned, thin, and soft animal hide at the cuffs. And for the knee regions of his clothes, both the interior and exterior. This way, his clothes were sturdy and would protect against falls. Even if he fell from those towering artificial mountains, and his elbows hit the ground, it still wouldn’t hurt.
Princess Consort Ning did not have any children of her own. Zhong Wan and Lin Si wanted a younger brother as a follower. He asked her a few times when he would have a younger brother, but she only smiled faintly. Then she would resume what she was doing, not a word escaping her lips.
Afterward, Zhong Wan by chance overheard the older servants discussing in private. They said that the emperor had bestowed Prince Ning a marriage to Princess Consort Ning, and at the start, the two were unwilling. However, one could not disobey an imperial decree. So they made do of a bad situation, passing their days together. At present, their relationship had eased up a little, but they had spent the past few years in indifference. And now, they both could not set aside their pride. In any case, they usually weren’t together.
Cr Itbcu Qjc tjv ilrafcfv ab atbrf kbgvr, tf bcis tjio-ecvfgrabbv atfw. Vb ktja lo atfs mbeivc’a rfa jrlvf atflg qglvf? Vb ktja lo atfs kfgf bg kfgfc’a lc atf rjwf qijmf? Ycmf j kbwjc ugfk bivfg, kbeivc’a rtf pera ulnf ylgat?
Dea tf ralii kjcafv j sbecufg ygbatfg. C sfjg ijafg, tlr sbecufg ygbatfg ralii vlvc’a mbwf. Itbcu Qjc tjv ugbkc j sfjg bivfg, jcv jr remt, ecvfgrabbv j ilaaif atja atfrf akb qfbqif wera ogfdefcais wffa lc bgvfg obg tlw ab tjnf j ilaaif ygbatfg.
That day was the day of the Mid-Autumn Festival. It was rare for the whole family to eat a meal together. Prince Ning and Princess Consort Ning felt somewhat awkward. They wanted to say something, but once they opened their mouths, they would feel embarrassed for some reason.
Zhong Wan was still very short. It was inconvenient for him to pick up his food. As such, Princess Consort Ning let him sit by her side and personally placed food into his bowl.
Zhong Wan looked at Princess Consort Ning, then shifted his gaze to Prince Ning. In a thoughtless manner, he said, “Mother, help me change my name.”
Princess Consort Ning frowned. “Change it to what?”
Zhong Wan swallowed the food in his mouth. Said vaguely, “Zhaodi. Zhong Zhaodi. I don’t mind if it sounds bad.”
After over twenty years of being a daughter of a noble house, she experienced laughing at the dining table until her stomach hurt for the first time. Prince Ning tried his utmost to suppress a smile. Rose to his feet and patted her back. And Princess Consort Ning blushed somewhat.
Ever since that day, Prince Ning and Princess Consort Ning were always together.
Less than a year later, Princess Consort Ning sure enough gave birth to a younger brother for Zhong Wan.
Then a few more years later, that younger brother sure enough became Zhong Wan and Lin Si’s follower, chasing after them every day. They teased him. Zhong Wan and Lin Si loved to bully Xuan Rui, yet also pampered him. When they climbed trees, and Xuan Rui was unable to do so, Zhong Wan would carry him on his back as he climbed. When they caught fish, and Xuan Rui couldn’t catch even one, Zhong Wan would give him the biggest one.
It had been difficult for Princess Consort Ning to give birth to the twins. Before she died, she said a few words to Prince Ning. Then turned to Zhong Wan, in her eyes many unspoken words. With red eyes, Zhong Wan had knelt before Princess Consort Ning’s bed, holding her hand. In a low voice, he said, “Don’t worry, Mother. If Father remarries in the future, I will protect my younger brothers and sister. I won’t let our stepmother bully us. I won’t let them suffer.”
Princess Consort Ning’s face was pale, and after hearing these words, she couldn’t help but smile. She stroked his head. Sighed. Then, after telling Zhong Wan to take care of himself, she breathed her last breath.
Half dreaming and half awake, Zhong Wan muttered in a hoarse and soft voice, “Princess Consort, I’m scared of… I’m scared of…”
By the bedside, Yu She held Zhong Wan’s hand. And after he had heard his words, his heart broke.
Yu She stroked his head. Said in a low voice, “Don’t worry. I’ve already handled the matters regarding Xuan Rui.
“Xuan Rui’s noble rank is gone. I will personally send people to escort him back to Qian An, and leave some people there to monitor him. He won’t be able to take one step out of his fief.
“When we were still in school, I remember that Princess Consort Ning had personally made all your clothes. I am well aware that she treated you well. I also know how you feel…
“For now, I have yet to handle the matter of Prince Ning’s noble rank. Once I have settled it, I will give this noble rank to Xuan Yu.
“After Xuan Yu inherits it without a hitch, he can bring Xuan Congxin back to Qian An. In the future, as long as he’s willing to pass his days well-behavedly, then his life will be smooth and steady.
“Guiyuan… If you live well, then I’ll let them live.”
Whether Zhong Wan could hear him in his dreams was anyone’s guess. Zhong Wan furrowed his brows, before falling back asleep.
Once he roused again, three days had passed.
Steward Feng was the only person by his side. Zhong Wan’s lips were pale. He opened his mouth and said, “Qian…”
Steward Feng rushed to explain everything to him. Then he said, “Heir did not relay all the details to His Majesty, leaving out half of the truth. Heir said that evildoers captured Xuan Rui, but never said who. Now, everyone from the rural manor is dead. Even if His Majesty wanted to chase after this matter, he won’t be able to find out anything. What a coincidence.”
Steward Feng handed Zhong Wan a cup of hot tea. Said softly, “Recently, His Majesty has not been well, and basically doesn’t have the energy to take care of that matter. As such, he just let it go like that. Heir has already imprisoned that person named Tang whatever in secret. Heir said he still had some questions for him.”
Zhong Wan closed his eyes. Nodded. “Okay.”
“These past few years, you…” A sigh escaped Steward Feng’s lips. “Nevermind. Let’s not talk about this anymore. The two young masters of Prince Qian An’s estate have been wanting to see you, but Heir blocked them. The young miss of that estate sent some clothes over. I have placed them to the side.”
Zhong Wan said in a raspy voice, “Heir…”
“Heir is fine. Speaking of which, it’s strange. The more he has to do, the clearer his head is. Recently, he’s been very focused and diligent with his duties. Due to annihilating the traitors, he achieved a meritorious deed. His Majesty has even praised him.” Worried, Steward Feng glanced at Zhong Wan. “But he still worries about you.”
Zhong Wan forced himself to sit up. Said in a soft voice, “Very good. I… I want to be alone for a while.”
Steward Feng sounded his agreement and retreated.
Zhong Wan fell into a daze for a while, a robe draped over his shoulders. He slowly climbed down the bed, making his way to the desk.
He picked up a brush. Somewhat cold, he curled up for a moment. Chest in pain due to all the anxiety.
Many years ago, after learning in the prison that Prince Ning had died, Zhong Wan had spat out a mouthful of blood. But back then, he had still been young. Without eating any medicine or resting, he recovered. Now, when he recalled that moment, he didn’t find it too unbearable. But this time, it was a different story. Zhong Wan felt as though someone had stabbed him in the stomach more than ten times. Just a twitch, and it were as if someone had stabbed his five viscera and six bowels.
Zhong Wan rested against the desk for a moment. Then he unfurled a roll of paper. He picked up a brush and wrote the word “son.” Laughed in spite of himself. Then crushed the paper into a ball, throwing it aside.
Then he started on a new sheet of paper, writing, “Wan kneels and reports.
“Father should know what happened to Xuan Rui…”
Zhong Wan clutched his hands into fists, knuckles glowing white. He lowered his head and sucked in a breath. And he crushed this sheet of paper into a ball as well, tossing it to the side.
For a moment, Zhong Wan took his time. Then he picked up the brush once more.
“Wan kneels and reports.
“Prince and Princess Consort should already know what happened to Xuan Rui from the heavens.”
Zhong Wan’s eyes reddened. He gritted his teeth. Endured.
“Wan traveled from the capital to Qian An and squandered many years. For the sake of self-preservation, I did not stop at anything, doing all kinds of contemptible things. Prince and Princess Consort should know already.
“Many years ago, the estate fell into ruin…
“In those seven years, I’ve completely failed to repay Ziyou’s kindness…”
“You…”
Startled, Zhong Wan lifted his head. Yu She had returned who knew when, and stood right behind him.
Yu She stared blankly at the letter Zhong Wan was writing to Prince Ning and Princess Consort Ning. Quietly, he read aloud, “In those seven years, I’ve completely failed to repay Ziyou’s kindness…
“Completely failed to repay Ziyou’s kindness. Completely failed to repay Ziyou’s kindness…” murmured Yu She. In his heart was a sorrow that could not be put into words. He closed his eyes. Holding Zhong Wan’s hand, he crossed out that sentence. And he said in a raspy voice, “You haven’t let me down.”
All of a sudden, Zhong Wan dared not look at Yu She. There was pain in his heart. He lowered his head. “Didn’t you hear it from Xuan Rui?” he asked in a low voice. “Back then… I almost poisoned you.”
Yu She kept silent.
Zhong Wan said, voice still low, “Just a bit more, and I would have taken your life. You don’t blame me?
“Xuan Rui thinks that because of you, I did not take revenge for Prince Ning. What do you think? You should understand more than he does, right? Should be more clear on the matter. The reason why I didn’t act against you was for the sake of Prince Qian An’s people. Just a momentary slip, and I could have poisoned you…”
Zhong Wan shifted his gaze to his own hands. Said near whisper, “If another Tang Ming appears in the future, to be honest, I actually—”
“Shut up,” said Yu She with indifference. “I don’t care who you did it for. No matter what you say, no matter what other people say, in my heart… you did not poison me because of me.”
Zhong Wan’s heart trembled. He forced himself to say, “You…”
“I’m not Xuan Rui. No one can lead me astray. And neither can you,” said Yu She apathetically. “As long as I’m in your heart… I will not believe what anyone else says.”
The Zhong Wan who already agreed not to cry anymore did his utmost to force the tears back in. Even his voice had changed. “How do you know how I feel…”
“That day…” Yu She choked with emotion. “When you left, you slipped the self-selling contract I had returned to you, silver tickets, and travel permits into a book. Do you remember the title of that book?”
Zhong Wan clenched his teeth.
Yu She said, “It’s the ‘Book of Songs.’
“It’s the ‘Odes of Zheng.’
“It’s… ‘Zi Jin.’”
Yu She looked at Zhong Wan, gaze bordering on resentment. “On that day, you knew you couldn’t stay, so you didn’t want to tell me. Didn’t want to let me know…
“But you just had to leave behind an unfinished message for me. ‘O…’” Yu She stared at Zhong Wan, gaze unwavering. Eyes reddening. “‘O you with the blue collar, prolonged is the anxiety in my heart. A-although…’”
Finally, Zhong Wan broke down, tears flowing down his cheeks, choking with emotion. “’…Although I do not go to you, why do you not come to me?’”
Yu She placed Zhong Wan lightly on the ground, leaving the compartment at an unhurried pace.
Face pale and eyes bloodshot, Yu She looked straight at Xuan Rui as if he himself were a malicious spirit. In a hoarse voice, he said, “The poison in his body…”
The moment Xuan Rui had caught sight of Yu She, he was frightened to the point of kneeling. For a moment, he couldn’t react. “Y-Yu She?”
“I…” Incredulous, Yu She stared at Xuan Rui. He muttered as he fumed with rage, “Had I been mad back then? I had actually let him go on purpose, let him go to you. I… I obviously couldn’t bear to let him go, yet I actually indulged his desire to find you. I…”
Blood appeared in Yu She’s mouth. He really wished he could return to seven years ago and wake himself up with a slap.
He had been so stupid, submissively giving such a good Guiyuan to that thing.
Yu She did his utmost to restrain the evil thoughts in his heart. Before he came to this place, he had already crafted a great plan. One, he and Zhong Wan would enter this rural manor in secret. Two, he’d have people capture the two younger children of Prince Ning and bring them here. So as to let those two children see clearly just who was letting down whom. In this way, when he removed Xuan Rui’s position as a Prince of the Second Rank in the future, those children wouldn’t misunderstand Zhong Wan. And Zhong Wan’s painstaking efforts for so many years would not be in vain.
Yu She had obviously tried his best not to have Zhong Wan heartbroken.
Out of instinct, he touched the dagger hanging by his waist. In any case, since he had already made a mistake, making another didn’t matter. What if he just killed him directly now…?
Meanwhile, Tang Ming noticed that although people had arrived, they weren’t large in number. At first, he had been happy, but no matter where he looked, he couldn’t find Zhong Wan. The moment he had caught sight of Yu She, he paled. Absentminded, he said, “Why is it you?!”
Yu She closed his eyes. Turned to look at Tang Ming. He took a deep breath and said in a low voice, “Leave the people of Qian An and this old thing alive. Everyone else in this rural manor… Kill… Don’t let even one person live. Burn down the rural manor.”
Frightened to the extreme, Tang Ming said, “Outside my manor, there’s still—”
“It’s already been settled.” Yu She’s trusted aides and family soldiers all cupped their hands in obeisance. “Just a while ago, when we brought Young Miss and Young Master here, we subordinates leaked our location by accident. We feared alarming other people and messing up Heir’s plan, so simply killed those people first. There are seventeen people in the rural manor, and twenty-three outside it. On the road, providing support, were fourteen people. Right?”
“Yu She!” shouted Tang Ming, furious.
“Shut up.” Yu She’s voice proved hoarse. “You better pray that Zhong Wan is alright. Otherwise… I won’t let anyone in this house escape alive.”
Yu She turned around and returned to the inner chamber. He picked up Zhong Wan, thoughts frantic. “Let’s r-return home.”
Yu She wrapped Zhong Wan in his own cloak. Supported him up a horse. A few family soldiers escorted them back to the capital, not once glancing back.
Zhong Wan had a dream.
In it, he was an ignorant child, very naughty and mischievous. Every day, he and Lin Si stirred up trouble in Prince Ning’s estate. They’d climb trees and steal the eggs from bird nests. Went into the stream to catch carps. After they had worn a good set of new clothes for two days, those clothes would have to be repaired.
Every day, the older female servant taking care of him always had this task: to help them repair their clothes. But because she couldn’t keep up, she retrieved some durable and rough cloth from the storeroom. To use to make clothes for them instead. Princess Consort Ning couldn’t bear to see this, so she said…
Said that even if Zhong Wan was an adopted son, he was still the prince’s son. He must not wear clothes that had been patched up.
Princess Consort Ning chose the most densely woven silk to make his clothes. Then she specially ordered people to stitch pieces of tanned, thin, and soft animal hide at the cuffs. And for the knee regions of his clothes, both the interior and exterior. This way, his clothes were sturdy and would protect against falls. Even if he fell from those towering artificial mountains, and his elbows hit the ground, it still wouldn’t hurt.
Princess Consort Ning did not have any children of her own. Zhong Wan and Lin Si wanted a younger brother as a follower. He asked her a few times when he would have a younger brother, but she only smiled faintly. Then she would resume what she was doing, not a word escaping her lips.
Afterward, Zhong Wan by chance overheard the older servants discussing in private. They said that the emperor had bestowed Prince Ning a marriage to Princess Consort Ning, and at the start, the two were unwilling. However, one could not disobey an imperial decree. So they made do of a bad situation, passing their days together. At present, their relationship had eased up a little, but they had spent the past few years in indifference. And now, they both could not set aside their pride. In any case, they usually weren’t together.
Cr Itbcu Qjc tjv ilrafcfv ab atbrf kbgvr, tf bcis tjio-ecvfgrabbv atfw. Vb ktja lo atfs mbeivc’a rfa jrlvf atflg qglvf? Vb ktja lo atfs kfgf bg kfgfc’a lc atf rjwf qijmf? Ycmf j kbwjc ugfk bivfg, kbeivc’a rtf pera ulnf ylgat?
Dea tf ralii kjcafv j sbecufg ygbatfg. C sfjg ijafg, tlr sbecufg ygbatfg ralii vlvc’a mbwf. Itbcu Qjc tjv ugbkc j sfjg bivfg, jcv jr remt, ecvfgrabbv j ilaaif atja atfrf akb qfbqif wera ogfdefcais wffa lc bgvfg obg tlw ab tjnf j ilaaif ygbatfg.
That day was the day of the Mid-Autumn Festival. It was rare for the whole family to eat a meal together. Prince Ning and Princess Consort Ning felt somewhat awkward. They wanted to say something, but once they opened their mouths, they would feel embarrassed for some reason.
Zhong Wan was still very short. It was inconvenient for him to pick up his food. As such, Princess Consort Ning let him sit by her side and personally placed food into his bowl.
Zhong Wan looked at Princess Consort Ning, then shifted his gaze to Prince Ning. In a thoughtless manner, he said, “Mother, help me change my name.”
Princess Consort Ning frowned. “Change it to what?”
Zhong Wan swallowed the food in his mouth. Said vaguely, “Zhaodi. Zhong Zhaodi. I don’t mind if it sounds bad.”
After over twenty years of being a daughter of a noble house, she experienced laughing at the dining table until her stomach hurt for the first time. Prince Ning tried his utmost to suppress a smile. Rose to his feet and patted her back. And Princess Consort Ning blushed somewhat.
Ever since that day, Prince Ning and Princess Consort Ning were always together.
Less than a year later, Princess Consort Ning sure enough gave birth to a younger brother for Zhong Wan.
Then a few more years later, that younger brother sure enough became Zhong Wan and Lin Si’s follower, chasing after them every day. They teased him. Zhong Wan and Lin Si loved to bully Xuan Rui, yet also pampered him. When they climbed trees, and Xuan Rui was unable to do so, Zhong Wan would carry him on his back as he climbed. When they caught fish, and Xuan Rui couldn’t catch even one, Zhong Wan would give him the biggest one.
It had been difficult for Princess Consort Ning to give birth to the twins. Before she died, she said a few words to Prince Ning. Then turned to Zhong Wan, in her eyes many unspoken words. With red eyes, Zhong Wan had knelt before Princess Consort Ning’s bed, holding her hand. In a low voice, he said, “Don’t worry, Mother. If Father remarries in the future, I will protect my younger brothers and sister. I won’t let our stepmother bully us. I won’t let them suffer.”
Princess Consort Ning’s face was pale, and after hearing these words, she couldn’t help but smile. She stroked his head. Sighed. Then, after telling Zhong Wan to take care of himself, she breathed her last breath.
Half dreaming and half awake, Zhong Wan muttered in a hoarse and soft voice, “Princess Consort, I’m scared of… I’m scared of…”
By the bedside, Yu She held Zhong Wan’s hand. And after he had heard his words, his heart broke.
Yu She stroked his head. Said in a low voice, “Don’t worry. I’ve already handled the matters regarding Xuan Rui.
“Xuan Rui’s noble rank is gone. I will personally send people to escort him back to Qian An, and leave some people there to monitor him. He won’t be able to take one step out of his fief.
“When we were still in school, I remember that Princess Consort Ning had personally made all your clothes. I am well aware that she treated you well. I also know how you feel…
“For now, I have yet to handle the matter of Prince Ning’s noble rank. Once I have settled it, I will give this noble rank to Xuan Yu.
“After Xuan Yu inherits it without a hitch, he can bring Xuan Congxin back to Qian An. In the future, as long as he’s willing to pass his days well-behavedly, then his life will be smooth and steady.
“Guiyuan… If you live well, then I’ll let them live.”
Whether Zhong Wan could hear him in his dreams was anyone’s guess. Zhong Wan furrowed his brows, before falling back asleep.
Once he roused again, three days had passed.
Steward Feng was the only person by his side. Zhong Wan’s lips were pale. He opened his mouth and said, “Qian…”
Steward Feng rushed to explain everything to him. Then he said, “Heir did not relay all the details to His Majesty, leaving out half of the truth. Heir said that evildoers captured Xuan Rui, but never said who. Now, everyone from the rural manor is dead. Even if His Majesty wanted to chase after this matter, he won’t be able to find out anything. What a coincidence.”
Steward Feng handed Zhong Wan a cup of hot tea. Said softly, “Recently, His Majesty has not been well, and basically doesn’t have the energy to take care of that matter. As such, he just let it go like that. Heir has already imprisoned that person named Tang whatever in secret. Heir said he still had some questions for him.”
Zhong Wan closed his eyes. Nodded. “Okay.”
“These past few years, you…” A sigh escaped Steward Feng’s lips. “Nevermind. Let’s not talk about this anymore. The two young masters of Prince Qian An’s estate have been wanting to see you, but Heir blocked them. The young miss of that estate sent some clothes over. I have placed them to the side.”
Zhong Wan said in a raspy voice, “Heir…”
“Heir is fine. Speaking of which, it’s strange. The more he has to do, the clearer his head is. Recently, he’s been very focused and diligent with his duties. Due to annihilating the traitors, he achieved a meritorious deed. His Majesty has even praised him.” Worried, Steward Feng glanced at Zhong Wan. “But he still worries about you.”
Zhong Wan forced himself to sit up. Said in a soft voice, “Very good. I… I want to be alone for a while.”
Steward Feng sounded his agreement and retreated.
Zhong Wan fell into a daze for a while, a robe draped over his shoulders. He slowly climbed down the bed, making his way to the desk.
He picked up a brush. Somewhat cold, he curled up for a moment. Chest in pain due to all the anxiety.
Many years ago, after learning in the prison that Prince Ning had died, Zhong Wan had spat out a mouthful of blood. But back then, he had still been young. Without eating any medicine or resting, he recovered. Now, when he recalled that moment, he didn’t find it too unbearable. But this time, it was a different story. Zhong Wan felt as though someone had stabbed him in the stomach more than ten times. Just a twitch, and it were as if someone had stabbed his five viscera and six bowels.
Zhong Wan rested against the desk for a moment. Then he unfurled a roll of paper. He picked up a brush and wrote the word “son.” Laughed in spite of himself. Then crushed the paper into a ball, throwing it aside.
Then he started on a new sheet of paper, writing, “Wan kneels and reports.
“Father should know what happened to Xuan Rui…”
Zhong Wan clutched his hands into fists, knuckles glowing white. He lowered his head and sucked in a breath. And he crushed this sheet of paper into a ball as well, tossing it to the side.
For a moment, Zhong Wan took his time. Then he picked up the brush once more.
“Wan kneels and reports.
“Prince and Princess Consort should already know what happened to Xuan Rui from the heavens.”
Zhong Wan’s eyes reddened. He gritted his teeth. Endured.
“Wan traveled from the capital to Qian An and squandered many years. For the sake of self-preservation, I did not stop at anything, doing all kinds of contemptible things. Prince and Princess Consort should know already.
“Many years ago, the estate fell into ruin…
“In those seven years, I’ve completely failed to repay Ziyou’s kindness…”
“You…”
Startled, Zhong Wan lifted his head. Yu She had returned who knew when, and stood right behind him.
Yu She stared blankly at the letter Zhong Wan was writing to Prince Ning and Princess Consort Ning. Quietly, he read aloud, “In those seven years, I’ve completely failed to repay Ziyou’s kindness…
“Completely failed to repay Ziyou’s kindness. Completely failed to repay Ziyou’s kindness…” murmured Yu She. In his heart was a sorrow that could not be put into words. He closed his eyes. Holding Zhong Wan’s hand, he crossed out that sentence. And he said in a raspy voice, “You haven’t let me down.”
All of a sudden, Zhong Wan dared not look at Yu She. There was pain in his heart. He lowered his head. “Didn’t you hear it from Xuan Rui?” he asked in a low voice. “Back then… I almost poisoned you.”
Yu She kept silent.
Zhong Wan said, voice still low, “Just a bit more, and I would have taken your life. You don’t blame me?
“Xuan Rui thinks that because of you, I did not take revenge for Prince Ning. What do you think? You should understand more than he does, right? Should be more clear on the matter. The reason why I didn’t act against you was for the sake of Prince Qian An’s people. Just a momentary slip, and I could have poisoned you…”
Zhong Wan shifted his gaze to his own hands. Said near whisper, “If another Tang Ming appears in the future, to be honest, I actually—”
“Shut up,” said Yu She with indifference. “I don’t care who you did it for. No matter what you say, no matter what other people say, in my heart… you did not poison me because of me.”
Zhong Wan’s heart trembled. He forced himself to say, “You…”
“I’m not Xuan Rui. No one can lead me astray. And neither can you,” said Yu She apathetically. “As long as I’m in your heart… I will not believe what anyone else says.”
The Zhong Wan who already agreed not to cry anymore did his utmost to force the tears back in. Even his voice had changed. “How do you know how I feel…”
“That day…” Yu She choked with emotion. “When you left, you slipped the self-selling contract I had returned to you, silver tickets, and travel permits into a book. Do you remember the title of that book?”
Zhong Wan clenched his teeth.
Yu She said, “It’s the ‘Book of Songs.’
“It’s the ‘Odes of Zheng.’
“It’s… ‘Zi Jin.’”
Yu She looked at Zhong Wan, gaze bordering on resentment. “On that day, you knew you couldn’t stay, so you didn’t want to tell me. Didn’t want to let me know…
“But you just had to leave behind an unfinished message for me. ‘O…’” Yu She stared at Zhong Wan, gaze unwavering. Eyes reddening. “‘O you with the blue collar, prolonged is the anxiety in my heart. A-although…’”
Finally, Zhong Wan broke down, tears flowing down his cheeks, choking with emotion. “’…Although I do not go to you, why do you not come to me?’”
