Chapter 194
"No one has ever encouraged me to use the power I've possessed until now."
Could it have been because he was incapable of utilizing his strength due to his body?
Yuder recalled a tale of a vessel he'd once heard, feeling a twinge of regret as he wondered if he'd been reckless in bringing up such a reckless topic.
"I didn't wish for you to harm yourself to do this. If I've overstepped my bounds, I apologize."
"No. Actually, it feels quite good. I was curious about what it feels like to live up to someone's expectations."
“It'd been a long while.” Muttering under his breath, Kishiar's elongated fingers traced the countless sword marks of nameless knights engraved on the Emperor's Sword Mark. Unlike the sword marks of famous swordmasters that were marked with nameplates, there were even more marks left by those unnamed, simply regarded as scratches and left as such. Despite knowing this, he wondered why they left their marks on the blade.
"Yes, there were times in my youth when I was quite upset. After all, how easily could I accept that I, a human being with strength, must always step back and hide it? The life of not being expected of anything means that I should not expect anything beyond survival from myself. It took a considerable amount of time to accept that."
A life with no expectations. It made him wonder if this wasn't just about his physical condition, but perhaps this statement also pierced through the trajectory of the life Kishiar La Orr had to live as the Duke of Peletta.
The instinct to use his strength, and the desire to do so, were suppressed, trampled, and continually pushed down as he lived. The beast's blood-red eyes, now accustomed to intense restraint and patience, looked numbly at the faintly weathered sword marks.
"Even now, when I can finally break free from it, when I see you, I become aware that I haven't changed, and neither has my surroundings."
His voice, which had been whispering softly, fell silent, and his gaze shifted to Yuder's face.
"That's why I need you, Yuder Aile."
At that moment, his heart pounded loudly.
"I'd like you to teach me more. Things I couldn't have, and what I need. You probably know."
"..."
He was just a sinner who committed foolish acts, died, and returned, he was not great enough to receive the intense emotions nested in his gaze. Yuder swallowed the surging guilt and bowed his head.
"I'm not sure. I'm already your assistant. If you give me orders, that's all, but what more are you saying..."
"Orders are not enough."
Kishiar quietly responded, reaching out his hand. His fingertips, gently brushing over the pale cheek, lightly lifted the chin, forcing their eyes to meet.
"Something I still don't know..."
Something still unknown to him.
His downward gaze said so. His gaze, which he could not escape from, inexplicably deepened. Suddenly, a captivating red color emerged over his normally hidden brown eyes.
The touched skin strangely grew hotter and hotter. As he breathed shallowly, shivering as if drawn to the heat, suddenly a force clenching his chin made it a bit painful.
"Ah…"
He snapped back to consciousness in surprise from the pain. His hand had already fallen again.
'Just now. What was that?'
What on earth was that strange feeling, as if he was being drawn towards something?
"Alright. I'll show you what you wanted."
Kishiar, who had turned his body towards the Emperor's Sword Mark, quietly opened his mouth.
"It's a rule to meet expectations when they're given. Let's give it a try."
"Eh?"
"The sword mark, I mean."
"Really?"
Yuder, startled by the belated response, quickly forgot about the strange sensation he had just felt.
"But not right now."
“There is no wooden sword handy to leave a sword mark,” Kishiar murmured, showing off his empty belt.
"I was planning to announce it after wrapping up Apeto Family's trial anyway, I'll definitely show you then."
Thinking of Divine Sword Orr, which had been stored in Kishiar's office for a long time, Yuder felt his blood boil with anticipation.
"As for the divine sword…"
"It's time to reveal who its master is. The time has come."
"Are you sure?"
Being the master of the divine sword was never easy. Despite his lack of interest in being the master of the divine sword in his previous life, he could feel how many were targeting him because of it.
Yet, this event was sure to be the most solid method for Kishiar, who had been neglected by many until now, to gain immediate recognition.
"If the trial ends as we wish, then Duke Diarca and Prince Katchian will officially step forward, and we won't be able to face them the way we have so far. This has been planned in advance."
To face an enemy who would not be off-guard, such preparation was necessary. It appeared that revealing his ownership of the divine sword had been delayed as a card to be used for that purpose.
"…I will help you, no matter what."
As Yuder nodded, a gentle smile crept onto his face again, as if he had never been serious.
"Shall we finish our walk for now? We haven't even done half of it."
"…Are you really planning to walk around this long wall?"
"Of course. Are you going to miss this opportunity to grab some luck after coming this far?"
"You were the one who said it was a superstition."
But his objection was easily ignored. Only after walking around the wall alongside the seemingly joyous Kishiar could Yuder finish his exercise, masquerading as rest, and return to the office.
"Did you enjoy today's rest?"
"…Next time, I will rest by myself. You don't have to worry too much."
"Oh dear. If you didn't enjoy it, I'll have to try harder next time."
What did he mean by trying harder? Yuder didn't even dare to ask. Seeing Kishiar bursting into laughter, Yuder felt his mood plummet further.
"Please go in."
"Alright. Sleep well, see you tomorrow."
Kishiar ruffled Yuder's fringe lightly and disappeared up the stairs to his office.
'…Is this what he meant by not letting my guard down?'
It seemed clear that he'd taken a liking to this prank since the last time. Yuder stood quietly for a moment, tidying his tousled hair, then let out a sigh.
It had been a strange day. If he had told the Yuder Aile of his previous life that he himself had had dinner in a shabby pub with Kishiar, walked around, and heard all sorts of things, he wouldn't have believed it.
'When I first came here, I hadn't expected to become so close with Kishiar La Orr.'
That was definitely the case at the start. But how did it happen that their relationship changed so much? Yuder found himself somewhat foolish for not getting angry even as Kishiar openly teased him like a child.
'But what exactly was that gaze back then... I really can't figure it out.'
What was that peculiar sensation he felt as the gaze they shared in front of the stone wall engraved with the Emperor's Sword Mark began to darken? It vanished so quickly that it was hard to guess if he had genuinely felt it, yet the warm thrill he experienced then was still faintly present in his mind.
Could it have been the attraction between second gender Awakeners that had come up in Beltrail's research? Yuder rubbed his chin thoughtfully. Of course, he couldn't feel the same sensation now.
—---
The next day, as soon as daylight broke, unexpected visitors came looking for the Cavalry.
"I've heard there are members of the Cavalry here! May I see someone named Yuder, by any chance?"
Seeing the soldiers in imperial uniforms who came shouting, the startled Cavalry went to find Yuder and informed him of the visitors. As Yuder stepped out of the Cavalry quarters, his eyes widened slightly upon seeing Sunz and Emon, the imperial soldiers he had met several months ago during the Red Stone recovery mission.
"Sunz."
"Yuder. Long time no see!"
Sunz, who had the power of vision, greeted him with a wave. His sad, sad smile was just as he remembered.
"And Mr. Emon, you're here too."
"Just call me Emon. What's with the 'Mr'? Gives me goosebumps. Anyway, it's good to see you looking well."
Emon greeted him with a grimace. Yuder led them to his room. There were too many prying eyes outside and in the lounge; it would have been hard to escape the curious stares that were already gathering.
"I should offer you something to drink, but I'm afraid I have nothing. My apologies."
"Don't worry about it. We're the ones who dropped in unexpectedly, after all."
Sunz chuckled and shook his head.
"But to come here so suddenly... was there something?"
"Ah. We were also personnel dispatched to maintain law and order during the festival period. Before heading back, we wanted to see you again, so we searched and searched."
Yuder was quite surprised at Sunz's words. He hadn't expected them to be part of the imperial forces that had been in the capital throughout the festival. He hadn't even imagined it as he had not encountered them once.
"I had no idea. If I knew you were here, I would have paid you a visit."
"Weren't we all busy? Emon and I were assigned to different places. I was at the 5th Wall, and Emon was at the 6th Wall. We were dispatched to prevent potential monument destruction, so we hardly ran into anyone else."
"I see."
Hearing Yuder's response, Sunz suddenly grinned and lowered his voice.
"But you know, this is a big deal. Do you understand? The fact that we, who were provincial soldiers, were chosen as temporary peacekeepers in the capital - it's something that's never happened before."
Chapter 194
"No one has ever encouraged me to use the power I've possessed until now."
Could it have been because he was incapable of utilizing his strength due to his body?
Yuder recalled a tale of a vessel he'd once heard, feeling a twinge of regret as he wondered if he'd been reckless in bringing up such a reckless topic.
"I didn't wish for you to harm yourself to do this. If I've overstepped my bounds, I apologize."
"No. Actually, it feels quite good. I was curious about what it feels like to live up to someone's expectations."
“It'd been a long while.” Muttering under his breath, Kishiar's elongated fingers traced the countless sword marks of nameless knights engraved on the Emperor's Sword Mark. Unlike the sword marks of famous swordmasters that were marked with nameplates, there were even more marks left by those unnamed, simply regarded as scratches and left as such. Despite knowing this, he wondered why they left their marks on the blade.
"Yes, there were times in my youth when I was quite upset. After all, how easily could I accept that I, a human being with strength, must always step back and hide it? The life of not being expected of anything means that I should not expect anything beyond survival from myself. It took a considerable amount of time to accept that."
A life with no expectations. It made him wonder if this wasn't just about his physical condition, but perhaps this statement also pierced through the trajectory of the life Kishiar La Orr had to live as the Duke of Peletta.
The instinct to use his strength, and the desire to do so, were suppressed, trampled, and continually pushed down as he lived. The beast's blood-red eyes, now accustomed to intense restraint and patience, looked numbly at the faintly weathered sword marks.
"Even now, when I can finally break free from it, when I see you, I become aware that I haven't changed, and neither has my surroundings."
His voice, which had been whispering softly, fell silent, and his gaze shifted to Yuder's face.
"That's why I need you, Yuder Aile."
At that moment, his heart pounded loudly.
"I'd like you to teach me more. Things I couldn't have, and what I need. You probably know."
"..."
He was just a sinner who committed foolish acts, died, and returned, he was not great enough to receive the intense emotions nested in his gaze. Yuder swallowed the surging guilt and bowed his head.
"I'm not sure. I'm already your assistant. If you give me orders, that's all, but what more are you saying..."
"Orders are not enough."
Kishiar quietly responded, reaching out his hand. His fingertips, gently brushing over the pale cheek, lightly lifted the chin, forcing their eyes to meet.
"Something I still don't know..."
Something still unknown to him.
His downward gaze said so. His gaze, which he could not escape from, inexplicably deepened. Suddenly, a captivating red color emerged over his normally hidden brown eyes.
The touched skin strangely grew hotter and hotter. As he breathed shallowly, shivering as if drawn to the heat, suddenly a force clenching his chin made it a bit painful.
"Ah…"
He snapped back to consciousness in surprise from the pain. His hand had already fallen again.
'Just now. What was that?'
What on earth was that strange feeling, as if he was being drawn towards something?
"Alright. I'll show you what you wanted."
Kishiar, who had turned his body towards the Emperor's Sword Mark, quietly opened his mouth.
"It's a rule to meet expectations when they're given. Let's give it a try."
"Eh?"
"The sword mark, I mean."
"Really?"
Yuder, startled by the belated response, quickly forgot about the strange sensation he had just felt.
"But not right now."
“There is no wooden sword handy to leave a sword mark,” Kishiar murmured, showing off his empty belt.
"I was planning to announce it after wrapping up Apeto Family's trial anyway, I'll definitely show you then."
Thinking of Divine Sword Orr, which had been stored in Kishiar's office for a long time, Yuder felt his blood boil with anticipation.
"As for the divine sword…"
"It's time to reveal who its master is. The time has come."
"Are you sure?"
Being the master of the divine sword was never easy. Despite his lack of interest in being the master of the divine sword in his previous life, he could feel how many were targeting him because of it.
Yet, this event was sure to be the most solid method for Kishiar, who had been neglected by many until now, to gain immediate recognition.
"If the trial ends as we wish, then Duke Diarca and Prince Katchian will officially step forward, and we won't be able to face them the way we have so far. This has been planned in advance."
To face an enemy who would not be off-guard, such preparation was necessary. It appeared that revealing his ownership of the divine sword had been delayed as a card to be used for that purpose.
"…I will help you, no matter what."
As Yuder nodded, a gentle smile crept onto his face again, as if he had never been serious.
"Shall we finish our walk for now? We haven't even done half of it."
"…Are you really planning to walk around this long wall?"
"Of course. Are you going to miss this opportunity to grab some luck after coming this far?"
"You were the one who said it was a superstition."
But his objection was easily ignored. Only after walking around the wall alongside the seemingly joyous Kishiar could Yuder finish his exercise, masquerading as rest, and return to the office.
"Did you enjoy today's rest?"
"…Next time, I will rest by myself. You don't have to worry too much."
"Oh dear. If you didn't enjoy it, I'll have to try harder next time."
What did he mean by trying harder? Yuder didn't even dare to ask. Seeing Kishiar bursting into laughter, Yuder felt his mood plummet further.
"Please go in."
"Alright. Sleep well, see you tomorrow."
Kishiar ruffled Yuder's fringe lightly and disappeared up the stairs to his office.
'…Is this what he meant by not letting my guard down?'
It seemed clear that he'd taken a liking to this prank since the last time. Yuder stood quietly for a moment, tidying his tousled hair, then let out a sigh.
It had been a strange day. If he had told the Yuder Aile of his previous life that he himself had had dinner in a shabby pub with Kishiar, walked around, and heard all sorts of things, he wouldn't have believed it.
'When I first came here, I hadn't expected to become so close with Kishiar La Orr.'
That was definitely the case at the start. But how did it happen that their relationship changed so much? Yuder found himself somewhat foolish for not getting angry even as Kishiar openly teased him like a child.
'But what exactly was that gaze back then... I really can't figure it out.'
What was that peculiar sensation he felt as the gaze they shared in front of the stone wall engraved with the Emperor's Sword Mark began to darken? It vanished so quickly that it was hard to guess if he had genuinely felt it, yet the warm thrill he experienced then was still faintly present in his mind.
Could it have been the attraction between second gender Awakeners that had come up in Beltrail's research? Yuder rubbed his chin thoughtfully. Of course, he couldn't feel the same sensation now.
—---
The next day, as soon as daylight broke, unexpected visitors came looking for the Cavalry.
"I've heard there are members of the Cavalry here! May I see someone named Yuder, by any chance?"
Seeing the soldiers in imperial uniforms who came shouting, the startled Cavalry went to find Yuder and informed him of the visitors. As Yuder stepped out of the Cavalry quarters, his eyes widened slightly upon seeing Sunz and Emon, the imperial soldiers he had met several months ago during the Red Stone recovery mission.
"Sunz."
"Yuder. Long time no see!"
Sunz, who had the power of vision, greeted him with a wave. His sad, sad smile was just as he remembered.
"And Mr. Emon, you're here too."
"Just call me Emon. What's with the 'Mr'? Gives me goosebumps. Anyway, it's good to see you looking well."
Emon greeted him with a grimace. Yuder led them to his room. There were too many prying eyes outside and in the lounge; it would have been hard to escape the curious stares that were already gathering.
"I should offer you something to drink, but I'm afraid I have nothing. My apologies."
"Don't worry about it. We're the ones who dropped in unexpectedly, after all."
Sunz chuckled and shook his head.
"But to come here so suddenly... was there something?"
"Ah. We were also personnel dispatched to maintain law and order during the festival period. Before heading back, we wanted to see you again, so we searched and searched."
Yuder was quite surprised at Sunz's words. He hadn't expected them to be part of the imperial forces that had been in the capital throughout the festival. He hadn't even imagined it as he had not encountered them once.
"I had no idea. If I knew you were here, I would have paid you a visit."
"Weren't we all busy? Emon and I were assigned to different places. I was at the 5th Wall, and Emon was at the 6th Wall. We were dispatched to prevent potential monument destruction, so we hardly ran into anyone else."
"I see."
Hearing Yuder's response, Sunz suddenly grinned and lowered his voice.
"But you know, this is a big deal. Do you understand? The fact that we, who were provincial soldiers, were chosen as temporary peacekeepers in the capital - it's something that's never happened before."
