It was a difficult admission to make, but given Kishiar's earnest expression, there was little choice. A sense of guilt subtly brushed his mind, prompting the question: why had he made such a response last time, leading to this situation?
"However, I don't believe that's the whole story."
"Hmm?"
Kishiar raised one eyebrow.
"Regardless of how Gakane or Enon look, you are still the Commander, are you not?"
"Enon? Ah, that was the name of the pharmacist, right?"
The topic had suddenly taken a sharp turn.
"Yes."
"It seems you're quite close, calling him by his first name. How did you come to have such a close relationship with this pharmacist? Did you know him even before you joined the Cavalry?"
Hearing such an intrusive question after discussing his most private affairs was inevitably uncomfortable, even for Yuder Aile. It was suddenly apparent that while Kishiar was tearing down walls, Yuder found himself needing to build new ones in response.
And so, he had to maintain a certain distance somehow.
Yuder kept silent for a moment, trying to maintain his composure as much as possible before he spoke.
"That's correct. Before joining the Cavalry, I happened to receive some help from him."
"Help?"
"Well, the important point isn't that."
"No, isn't that in fact a significant detail? You, my assistant, have received help. I'm curious, would you explain more?"
His attempt to change the topic failed immediately. Yuder pondered his response during a brief moment of silence. Telling a complete lie would be difficult. However, telling the whole truth was also out of the question. He was belatedly hit with regret for not reporting Enon's entry beforehand.
'No helping it.'
The easiest thing to do was to mix truth with falsehood. Yuder decided to talk about his encounter with Enon from his previous life, not the current one.
"Before I joined the Cavalry… I happened to get injured. I met him by chance and received treatment, and that's how we became acquainted."
Kishiar was silent, seemingly surprised by the unexpected statement.
"He was a stranger who didn't hesitate to help me, so I visited him a few times to express my gratitude. I was surprised when I found out he joined the Cavalry… but please don't doubt Enon's abilities or background because of me."
"Indeed."
Kishiar murmured, his fingers gently twitching on his armrest.
"So that's the connection that made you so defensive when I mentioned him."
Had he read the signs of tension in that short interval? As Yuder froze, unable to respond, a slow smile spread across Kishiar's face.
"I've already done a considerable investigation into that pharmacist before bringing him in, so I'm not suspicious of him. He was well known within the Seventh Wall for his generosity and wisdom. He spent a long time by the side of the poorest among us, so they say."
The story of Enon that flowed from Kishiar's lips was unfamiliar. It made sense since they hadn't had any interaction in their previous lives, yet here they were talking about each other.
"I wondered why a man with his own shop would suddenly want to join our group… So, it was because of your connection after all."
The guess about the direction had been slightly off, but the cause was spot on. After all, it was true that Enon had mentioned coming close to observe Yuder. The sharp perception of Kishiar had crossed the boundary of surprise, causing goosebumps, yet Yuder tried to maintain his calmness.
"That is..."
"No. You don't need to explain further."
What could possibly come next? When he was preparing his mind to react without surprise to any statement, a laughter that shattered the covert tension suddenly cut through the air.
"Don't be so tense. It feels like you might get jealous."
"Excuse me?"
"I was merely asking out of curiosity. Isn't it a natural human tendency to want to know more about a subject of interest?"
The tension vanished in an instant. Yuder blinked his eyes, exhaled softly, and nodded his head.
"I understand..."
"I'm a bit disappointed. Despite my shown interest and open doors, you seem to have no trust in me. What more should I do if this isn't enough?"
Yuder sighed, bowing his head.
"You don't have to do anything more. I believe you."
"You believe me?"
"Yes."
"Then, could you tell me what you think about my interest?"
This question was even more intense than when he had suspected Enon. Yuder averted his eyes, looking at the two trophies on the table, and spoke with difficulty.
"...You mentioned it was a natural interest, but others may misunderstand. It might be better if you restrain your words in front of others."
"Is that all?"
"I always think about what I can do to respond to the trust you place in me. I worry because it seems like you feel I'm not returning as much as you desire."
Kishiar frowned and smirked suspiciously.
"Is that all?"
"What more should I say?"
"I thought you quite liked me, too. What about that part?"
A sudden surge stirred within Yuder's chest. He unwittingly recalled the feelings he had felt for Kishiar in the past, but quickly suppressed them and responded.
"Of course, I respect you. I wish to aid you in your endeavors."
Kishiar's gaze became even more peculiar. After a moment, he let out a long sigh and deeply slouched into the couch.
"Yuder Aile."
"Yes."
"Take off your glove and give me your hand."
At the sudden command, Yuder hesitated momentarily but eventually removed his right glove. The spot on the back of his hand from trying to block the blind fire in training earlier hadn't spread much. Kishiar examined his bare hand and asked softly.
"Did you exert yourself today?"
"I used a bit of strength blocking an attack during training."
"Any pain?"
"No."
"Good. That's fortunate."
Kishiar held out his hand, clasping Yuder's fingers and guiding them. His right hand, enveloped perfectly within the large, smooth hand, felt oddly tingling.
'...Why isn't he doing anything?'
He thought Kishiar was about to treat him, but he did nothing. In the silence, the connection between their hands grew progressively more electric. Yuder, feeling sweat beginning to pool in his palm, slowly raised his gaze.
And then, his gaze met with the steady, unblinking red eyes that seemed to be observing his reaction.
"Ah..."
A numbing sensation spread from his fingertips, causing his body to tremble. The hand he touched with Kishiar heated up. An intense sensation that was difficult to explain in words overtook his mind.
'Just like that time.'
The feeling was similar to when their hands accidentally touched in the carriage. His gaze swirled dizzily in the collision of heat and impulse. Despite his resistance against the suction that seemed to draw him in, it was in vain. Unconsciously, Yuder reached out, wanting to touch Kishiar's face, overwhelmed by an impulsive desire.
Golden eyelashes. Eyes beneath them like transparent flames. Hair covering the forehead that was gently furrowed. Slightly parted lips that seemed to desire to consume something.
Strangely, he could feel it.
The sweet desire that the existence before him seemed to feel as intensely as hunger. This feeling was just like Yuder's, perhaps even stronger. His target of desire, to pull him in and hold him, was none other than...
"Please, let go."
After being lost in sensation for a while, Yuder quickly drew back his hand as if it had touched fire.
'What the hell.'
His breathing became heavy. The fact that he had not even noticed his breathing change was a bit shocking. Kishiar silently looked at the empty hand that had retreated.
"How do you feel?"
"Excuse me?"
"Do you not feel anything?"
"..."
He couldn't deny it since he had already felt the same sensation. The strange attraction was so strong that for the first time, Yuder Ail, who was fearless, wanted to push it away first.
The temptation to lean into the intoxicatingly sweet sensation, the heat that seemed to whisper that it was natural, like the flames of hell itself.
Despite pushing it away, his now cooled hand felt a strange regret. The fact that he was feeling regret was unfamiliar.
"What kind of response are you expecting?"
Confused mumbles flowed between his lips.
"It's not just me."
Kishiar replied.
"Aren't you also attracted to me?"
Thump. His heart pounded as if on the day of his manifestation. Yuder, before understanding what it was, promptly stood up from his place.
"I will take my leave now."
"Are you leaving like that? Without receiving any treatment."
"I will receive it from Priest Lusan."
"Well. That can work too."
After saying this, Kishiar picked up the gloves he had placed on the table and smiled.
"You should put these back on."
"..."
Without a word, Yuder took the gloves from his hand. As he was putting on the gloves again, Kishiar too, rose from his seat. His movements were so leisurely that it gave the illusion of a large beast getting up. Yuder silently bowed his head towards him in greeting.
"Yuder."
But before he could take a few steps, a slow, sinking voice came from behind him.
His steps halted as if a leash had suddenly caught hold of a dog.
"Am I still as scary as back then?"
"...No."
After a moment of hesitation, Yuder barely managed to open his mouth and reply.
It was a difficult admission to make, but given Kishiar's earnest expression, there was little choice. A sense of guilt subtly brushed his mind, prompting the question: why had he made such a response last time, leading to this situation?
"However, I don't believe that's the whole story."
"Hmm?"
Kishiar raised one eyebrow.
"Regardless of how Gakane or Enon look, you are still the Commander, are you not?"
"Enon? Ah, that was the name of the pharmacist, right?"
The topic had suddenly taken a sharp turn.
"Yes."
"It seems you're quite close, calling him by his first name. How did you come to have such a close relationship with this pharmacist? Did you know him even before you joined the Cavalry?"
Hearing such an intrusive question after discussing his most private affairs was inevitably uncomfortable, even for Yuder Aile. It was suddenly apparent that while Kishiar was tearing down walls, Yuder found himself needing to build new ones in response.
And so, he had to maintain a certain distance somehow.
Yuder kept silent for a moment, trying to maintain his composure as much as possible before he spoke.
"That's correct. Before joining the Cavalry, I happened to receive some help from him."
"Help?"
"Well, the important point isn't that."
"No, isn't that in fact a significant detail? You, my assistant, have received help. I'm curious, would you explain more?"
His attempt to change the topic failed immediately. Yuder pondered his response during a brief moment of silence. Telling a complete lie would be difficult. However, telling the whole truth was also out of the question. He was belatedly hit with regret for not reporting Enon's entry beforehand.
'No helping it.'
The easiest thing to do was to mix truth with falsehood. Yuder decided to talk about his encounter with Enon from his previous life, not the current one.
"Before I joined the Cavalry… I happened to get injured. I met him by chance and received treatment, and that's how we became acquainted."
Kishiar was silent, seemingly surprised by the unexpected statement.
"He was a stranger who didn't hesitate to help me, so I visited him a few times to express my gratitude. I was surprised when I found out he joined the Cavalry… but please don't doubt Enon's abilities or background because of me."
"Indeed."
Kishiar murmured, his fingers gently twitching on his armrest.
"So that's the connection that made you so defensive when I mentioned him."
Had he read the signs of tension in that short interval? As Yuder froze, unable to respond, a slow smile spread across Kishiar's face.
"I've already done a considerable investigation into that pharmacist before bringing him in, so I'm not suspicious of him. He was well known within the Seventh Wall for his generosity and wisdom. He spent a long time by the side of the poorest among us, so they say."
The story of Enon that flowed from Kishiar's lips was unfamiliar. It made sense since they hadn't had any interaction in their previous lives, yet here they were talking about each other.
"I wondered why a man with his own shop would suddenly want to join our group… So, it was because of your connection after all."
The guess about the direction had been slightly off, but the cause was spot on. After all, it was true that Enon had mentioned coming close to observe Yuder. The sharp perception of Kishiar had crossed the boundary of surprise, causing goosebumps, yet Yuder tried to maintain his calmness.
"That is..."
"No. You don't need to explain further."
What could possibly come next? When he was preparing his mind to react without surprise to any statement, a laughter that shattered the covert tension suddenly cut through the air.
"Don't be so tense. It feels like you might get jealous."
"Excuse me?"
"I was merely asking out of curiosity. Isn't it a natural human tendency to want to know more about a subject of interest?"
The tension vanished in an instant. Yuder blinked his eyes, exhaled softly, and nodded his head.
"I understand..."
"I'm a bit disappointed. Despite my shown interest and open doors, you seem to have no trust in me. What more should I do if this isn't enough?"
Yuder sighed, bowing his head.
"You don't have to do anything more. I believe you."
"You believe me?"
"Yes."
"Then, could you tell me what you think about my interest?"
This question was even more intense than when he had suspected Enon. Yuder averted his eyes, looking at the two trophies on the table, and spoke with difficulty.
"...You mentioned it was a natural interest, but others may misunderstand. It might be better if you restrain your words in front of others."
"Is that all?"
"I always think about what I can do to respond to the trust you place in me. I worry because it seems like you feel I'm not returning as much as you desire."
Kishiar frowned and smirked suspiciously.
"Is that all?"
"What more should I say?"
"I thought you quite liked me, too. What about that part?"
A sudden surge stirred within Yuder's chest. He unwittingly recalled the feelings he had felt for Kishiar in the past, but quickly suppressed them and responded.
"Of course, I respect you. I wish to aid you in your endeavors."
Kishiar's gaze became even more peculiar. After a moment, he let out a long sigh and deeply slouched into the couch.
"Yuder Aile."
"Yes."
"Take off your glove and give me your hand."
At the sudden command, Yuder hesitated momentarily but eventually removed his right glove. The spot on the back of his hand from trying to block the blind fire in training earlier hadn't spread much. Kishiar examined his bare hand and asked softly.
"Did you exert yourself today?"
"I used a bit of strength blocking an attack during training."
"Any pain?"
"No."
"Good. That's fortunate."
Kishiar held out his hand, clasping Yuder's fingers and guiding them. His right hand, enveloped perfectly within the large, smooth hand, felt oddly tingling.
'...Why isn't he doing anything?'
He thought Kishiar was about to treat him, but he did nothing. In the silence, the connection between their hands grew progressively more electric. Yuder, feeling sweat beginning to pool in his palm, slowly raised his gaze.
And then, his gaze met with the steady, unblinking red eyes that seemed to be observing his reaction.
"Ah..."
A numbing sensation spread from his fingertips, causing his body to tremble. The hand he touched with Kishiar heated up. An intense sensation that was difficult to explain in words overtook his mind.
'Just like that time.'
The feeling was similar to when their hands accidentally touched in the carriage. His gaze swirled dizzily in the collision of heat and impulse. Despite his resistance against the suction that seemed to draw him in, it was in vain. Unconsciously, Yuder reached out, wanting to touch Kishiar's face, overwhelmed by an impulsive desire.
Golden eyelashes. Eyes beneath them like transparent flames. Hair covering the forehead that was gently furrowed. Slightly parted lips that seemed to desire to consume something.
Strangely, he could feel it.
The sweet desire that the existence before him seemed to feel as intensely as hunger. This feeling was just like Yuder's, perhaps even stronger. His target of desire, to pull him in and hold him, was none other than...
"Please, let go."
After being lost in sensation for a while, Yuder quickly drew back his hand as if it had touched fire.
'What the hell.'
His breathing became heavy. The fact that he had not even noticed his breathing change was a bit shocking. Kishiar silently looked at the empty hand that had retreated.
"How do you feel?"
"Excuse me?"
"Do you not feel anything?"
"..."
He couldn't deny it since he had already felt the same sensation. The strange attraction was so strong that for the first time, Yuder Ail, who was fearless, wanted to push it away first.
The temptation to lean into the intoxicatingly sweet sensation, the heat that seemed to whisper that it was natural, like the flames of hell itself.
Despite pushing it away, his now cooled hand felt a strange regret. The fact that he was feeling regret was unfamiliar.
"What kind of response are you expecting?"
Confused mumbles flowed between his lips.
"It's not just me."
Kishiar replied.
"Aren't you also attracted to me?"
Thump. His heart pounded as if on the day of his manifestation. Yuder, before understanding what it was, promptly stood up from his place.
"I will take my leave now."
"Are you leaving like that? Without receiving any treatment."
"I will receive it from Priest Lusan."
"Well. That can work too."
After saying this, Kishiar picked up the gloves he had placed on the table and smiled.
"You should put these back on."
"..."
Without a word, Yuder took the gloves from his hand. As he was putting on the gloves again, Kishiar too, rose from his seat. His movements were so leisurely that it gave the illusion of a large beast getting up. Yuder silently bowed his head towards him in greeting.
"Yuder."
But before he could take a few steps, a slow, sinking voice came from behind him.
His steps halted as if a leash had suddenly caught hold of a dog.
"Am I still as scary as back then?"
"...No."
After a moment of hesitation, Yuder barely managed to open his mouth and reply.
