'I cannot be certain now that I can't even ask him directly...'
With just the suggestion of the possibility, a sudden chill ran through his mind. Yuder rubbed at the corners of his eyes and took a few deep breaths.
'It's pointless to think about it now. It's all in the past...'
All in the past.
Despite the truth of his words, a deep pang of something pierced somewhere in his chest. Since turning back time and returning to the past, he had never once regretted his old life. It was the same now.
But what was this feeling, this emotion?
He was in turmoil, not knowing how to describe the sensation he was currently experiencing.
Despite repeating to himself numerous times and trying to clear his mind as he sat back down on the bed, sleep eluded him. Instead of drowsiness, his mind was filled with thoughts of Kishiar, not the upcoming Western subjugation mission or thoughts about the Red Stone.
The enigmatic man whose secret he thought he'd never understand until the day he died.
The first human whose life he had taken with his own hands.
And the face he had recalled in that final moment, despite suppressing it for such a long time.
'...Maybe I should ask Enon.'
He had always considered the irregular dreams, whose reality he could not ascertain, as just that—dreams. But this time it was hard to pass off. Since Enon knew so much, wouldn't he be able to point out something Yuder missed upon hearing this story?
His face might flare up, saying, "You think I know everything?" but he had no choice. Enon was the only one who knew the story of him coming back from the future.
'It's late, but Enon usually doesn't sleep much, so he might still be awake.'
Deciding to check if the light was on in his room, right next to the medical division, and if not, to come back, he felt lighter.
However, as Yuder, who silently opened the door and stepped into the dark corridor illuminated by the moonlight, stopped in his tracks before he could take a few steps. He sensed something before he even turned his eyes.
A presence stimulating his senses beyond his five senses.
"...Commander?"
Responding to the faint call, the man who was leaning against the corridor wall slowly opened and closed his eyes. A faint smile adorned his face hidden in the darkness, his red pupils shining darkly.
"Out for a night walk?"
"Why... are you here?"
"..."
He asked, concealing his surprise, but Kishiar didn't answer. Seeing his face quietly staring at him as if it was his turn to ask, he felt the dream memories he had barely suppressed beginning to surge up. Yuder tried his best not to recall them and opened his mouth.
"...I was about to head down to the medical division."
"Why?"
"I couldn't sleep, so I thought I might talk to Enon if he was still awake......"
It sounded a bit awkward, but it wasn't entirely a lie.
"So, you were going to talk to him without even knowing if he was awake?"
"If he wasn't awake, I was just going to come back."
"Then isn't there a better choice than the uncertain one?"
Right in front of him. As he mumbled, his pale face left Yuder speechless. Struggling to find a response, Yuder licked his lips, and finally let out a sigh.
"Why are you here, really? Surely you didn't come to see me."
"Why do you say that with such certainty?"
"...So, you're saying you really came to see me?"
At this late hour, without even knocking on the door, simply standing in the corridor?
Facing Yuder's gaze, full of complex suspicion, Kishiar faintly smiled. His face appeared more languid and dreamy than usual, as if half-drowned in sleep.
"To be honest, I'm not sure myself. After hearing Nathan's report, it seemed I was just resting alone, and when I came to, I was here."
"Is that so..."
Could it be sleepwalking? Or perhaps a sign of health issues due to his cycle? Either way, moving unconsciously wasn't a good sign.
"Should I call Priest Lusan?"
"It's okay."
Kishiar, who responded lightly, removed himself from leaning against the wall and approached.
"Just, would you like to chat?"
Even if it's just a little. The end of the sentence was in such a small voice that it was uncertain whether it had been properly heard. As the distance lessened, he could distinctly feel an immense flow enveloping and moving Kishiar, unlike anything before. Being near Kishiar felt like floating in a very deep, black sea - a heavy, smooth sensation that pressed on the skin. It wasn't a painful sensation, but it made Yuder feel somewhat choked, so he unknowingly loosened the collar of his shirt a bit.
Immediately, Kishiar halted his steps and his gaze followed the movement.
"Are you uncomfortable?"
"...No."
Yuder alternated glances between his closed room door and Kishiar.
'Meeting Enon is out of the question.'
He had been worried about him not showing his face properly for several days, but he hadn't hoped to encounter him this way. Let alone in a situation where dreams of the past muddled his mind, what conversation was he to have with the person involved?
A proper assistant would have advised him to go rest considering his poor health.
'But...'
Nevertheless, Yuder felt a deep regret for his difficulty in telling Kishiar to leave immediately.
'Even though Nathan told me that the cycle and heat might overlap, I can't smell anything yet... Considering what could happen if he goes out in that state, it's better to invite him in for a while.'
Once again, after a deep sigh, Yuder reopened the door he had shut.
Was this a choice he wouldn't regret? He couldn't know.
"Would you like to come in for a while, perhaps have some tea?"
Kishiar, who had been standing in the corridor since his arrival, widened his eyes a little, perhaps not expecting an invitation. After a moment, he gently smiled and slid his foot into the open door.
"Sure."
Although the room wasn't large, being suitable for a single person, it didn't feel cramped. However, strangely, once Kishiar entered, it felt as though the room was suddenly full. Watching the man unfamiliarly looking around the new space, Yuder cleared the water glass on the table and lit the lamp.
"Please, take a seat."
After roughly sprinkling the tea leaves that Kanna had once forced onto the two tea cups, a small movement of his finger formed two droplets of water in the air. The droplets divided into two streams, filling each cup. With another flick of his hand, the tea heated to a suitable temperature, steaming in the cups. Looking down at the steamy tea cup, Yuder lightly pushed one toward Kishiar.
"Wait until the aroma comes out before you drink."
"You are remarkably efficient in brewing tea. Nathan would be disappointed if he saw this."
"If you have the skill, why not use it?"
Kishiar chuckled lightly at the firm reply.
"I've never had tea made with power before, so I'm looking forward to the taste."
The elegant man seated across reached out and picked up the cup. Despite its humble appearance, it transformed into something incredibly valuable and precious once held in his grasp. Why, indeed?
Yuder took the opportunity to speak as the man took in the aroma of the tea.
"Do you feel a bit better now?"
"If you're asking if I feel normal, then no."
The answer was as he expected, not particularly surprising.
"However, my mood is much better now that we're sitting across from each other."
"Do you really not remember how you ended up here?"
"That's correct."
"Do you have any suspicions?"
"Suspicions, you say..."
Kishiar, muttering under his breath, took a sip of his tea and fell silent, seemingly lost in thought as he gazed at the flickering lamp light.
"Ah, yes, I remember now."
Just when it seemed that he had remembered something, Kishiar set down his cup and spoke in a soft tone.
"You came to my room earlier today, didn't you?"
Yuder, trying to hide his surprise, almost dropped his own cup. He quickly regained his composure to prevent the trembling cup from spilling over, but it was already too late. Kishiar was watching, a small smile on his narrowed eyes.
"...Did you know?"
"I could feel it from inside."
Yuder recalled Nathan saying how Kishiar could sense the movements of others even when seated quietly. He felt a slight pang of defeat.
'Knowing who the opponent is, why did the impulse surge then...'
"Why did you come and then just leave?"
"It was nothing."
"I might have believed that if someone else said it."
Kishiar replied softly, his chin propped in his hand and his head slightly tilted. The small movement made the distance between them feel much closer due to the small table separating them.
"I can't believe it because it's Yuder Aile."
"Even if you can't believe it, it was truly nothing. What should I say in response?"
"Fine, let's change the subject. I don't want to believe it."
Despite the firm denial, Kishiar quickly changed the subject, letting out a laugh at Yuder's sour expression.
"To be honest, I was waiting for you to come in. I was really looking forward to the sound of knocking on the door. I swear."
"..."
Was the feeling of the pressure on his skin intensifying due to the aura Kishiar was emanating, or was it just his imagination? It could have been both.
"But then you turned around and left, and Nathan came and told me to correspond through letters for a while, wasn't that it?"
"That was..."
"I understand it's because of the heat period."
Kishiar cut in, exhaling a sigh.
"But sometimes, that's what makes it more bitter."
"So, is that why you came here?"
"Um... That wasn't really the intention. But the last thing I remember was thinking about it before closing my eyes."
His fingers, which had been circling the rim of his cup, came to a stop. His red gaze fell onto the lightly rippling surface of the tea.
"I thought perhaps if you tell me you were worried about me and that's why you wanted to come in, maybe this cold could also be dispelled."
'I cannot be certain now that I can't even ask him directly...'
With just the suggestion of the possibility, a sudden chill ran through his mind. Yuder rubbed at the corners of his eyes and took a few deep breaths.
'It's pointless to think about it now. It's all in the past...'
All in the past.
Despite the truth of his words, a deep pang of something pierced somewhere in his chest. Since turning back time and returning to the past, he had never once regretted his old life. It was the same now.
But what was this feeling, this emotion?
He was in turmoil, not knowing how to describe the sensation he was currently experiencing.
Despite repeating to himself numerous times and trying to clear his mind as he sat back down on the bed, sleep eluded him. Instead of drowsiness, his mind was filled with thoughts of Kishiar, not the upcoming Western subjugation mission or thoughts about the Red Stone.
The enigmatic man whose secret he thought he'd never understand until the day he died.
The first human whose life he had taken with his own hands.
And the face he had recalled in that final moment, despite suppressing it for such a long time.
'...Maybe I should ask Enon.'
He had always considered the irregular dreams, whose reality he could not ascertain, as just that—dreams. But this time it was hard to pass off. Since Enon knew so much, wouldn't he be able to point out something Yuder missed upon hearing this story?
His face might flare up, saying, "You think I know everything?" but he had no choice. Enon was the only one who knew the story of him coming back from the future.
'It's late, but Enon usually doesn't sleep much, so he might still be awake.'
Deciding to check if the light was on in his room, right next to the medical division, and if not, to come back, he felt lighter.
However, as Yuder, who silently opened the door and stepped into the dark corridor illuminated by the moonlight, stopped in his tracks before he could take a few steps. He sensed something before he even turned his eyes.
A presence stimulating his senses beyond his five senses.
"...Commander?"
Responding to the faint call, the man who was leaning against the corridor wall slowly opened and closed his eyes. A faint smile adorned his face hidden in the darkness, his red pupils shining darkly.
"Out for a night walk?"
"Why... are you here?"
"..."
He asked, concealing his surprise, but Kishiar didn't answer. Seeing his face quietly staring at him as if it was his turn to ask, he felt the dream memories he had barely suppressed beginning to surge up. Yuder tried his best not to recall them and opened his mouth.
"...I was about to head down to the medical division."
"Why?"
"I couldn't sleep, so I thought I might talk to Enon if he was still awake......"
It sounded a bit awkward, but it wasn't entirely a lie.
"So, you were going to talk to him without even knowing if he was awake?"
"If he wasn't awake, I was just going to come back."
"Then isn't there a better choice than the uncertain one?"
Right in front of him. As he mumbled, his pale face left Yuder speechless. Struggling to find a response, Yuder licked his lips, and finally let out a sigh.
"Why are you here, really? Surely you didn't come to see me."
"Why do you say that with such certainty?"
"...So, you're saying you really came to see me?"
At this late hour, without even knocking on the door, simply standing in the corridor?
Facing Yuder's gaze, full of complex suspicion, Kishiar faintly smiled. His face appeared more languid and dreamy than usual, as if half-drowned in sleep.
"To be honest, I'm not sure myself. After hearing Nathan's report, it seemed I was just resting alone, and when I came to, I was here."
"Is that so..."
Could it be sleepwalking? Or perhaps a sign of health issues due to his cycle? Either way, moving unconsciously wasn't a good sign.
"Should I call Priest Lusan?"
"It's okay."
Kishiar, who responded lightly, removed himself from leaning against the wall and approached.
"Just, would you like to chat?"
Even if it's just a little. The end of the sentence was in such a small voice that it was uncertain whether it had been properly heard. As the distance lessened, he could distinctly feel an immense flow enveloping and moving Kishiar, unlike anything before. Being near Kishiar felt like floating in a very deep, black sea - a heavy, smooth sensation that pressed on the skin. It wasn't a painful sensation, but it made Yuder feel somewhat choked, so he unknowingly loosened the collar of his shirt a bit.
Immediately, Kishiar halted his steps and his gaze followed the movement.
"Are you uncomfortable?"
"...No."
Yuder alternated glances between his closed room door and Kishiar.
'Meeting Enon is out of the question.'
He had been worried about him not showing his face properly for several days, but he hadn't hoped to encounter him this way. Let alone in a situation where dreams of the past muddled his mind, what conversation was he to have with the person involved?
A proper assistant would have advised him to go rest considering his poor health.
'But...'
Nevertheless, Yuder felt a deep regret for his difficulty in telling Kishiar to leave immediately.
'Even though Nathan told me that the cycle and heat might overlap, I can't smell anything yet... Considering what could happen if he goes out in that state, it's better to invite him in for a while.'
Once again, after a deep sigh, Yuder reopened the door he had shut.
Was this a choice he wouldn't regret? He couldn't know.
"Would you like to come in for a while, perhaps have some tea?"
Kishiar, who had been standing in the corridor since his arrival, widened his eyes a little, perhaps not expecting an invitation. After a moment, he gently smiled and slid his foot into the open door.
"Sure."
Although the room wasn't large, being suitable for a single person, it didn't feel cramped. However, strangely, once Kishiar entered, it felt as though the room was suddenly full. Watching the man unfamiliarly looking around the new space, Yuder cleared the water glass on the table and lit the lamp.
"Please, take a seat."
After roughly sprinkling the tea leaves that Kanna had once forced onto the two tea cups, a small movement of his finger formed two droplets of water in the air. The droplets divided into two streams, filling each cup. With another flick of his hand, the tea heated to a suitable temperature, steaming in the cups. Looking down at the steamy tea cup, Yuder lightly pushed one toward Kishiar.
"Wait until the aroma comes out before you drink."
"You are remarkably efficient in brewing tea. Nathan would be disappointed if he saw this."
"If you have the skill, why not use it?"
Kishiar chuckled lightly at the firm reply.
"I've never had tea made with power before, so I'm looking forward to the taste."
The elegant man seated across reached out and picked up the cup. Despite its humble appearance, it transformed into something incredibly valuable and precious once held in his grasp. Why, indeed?
Yuder took the opportunity to speak as the man took in the aroma of the tea.
"Do you feel a bit better now?"
"If you're asking if I feel normal, then no."
The answer was as he expected, not particularly surprising.
"However, my mood is much better now that we're sitting across from each other."
"Do you really not remember how you ended up here?"
"That's correct."
"Do you have any suspicions?"
"Suspicions, you say..."
Kishiar, muttering under his breath, took a sip of his tea and fell silent, seemingly lost in thought as he gazed at the flickering lamp light.
"Ah, yes, I remember now."
Just when it seemed that he had remembered something, Kishiar set down his cup and spoke in a soft tone.
"You came to my room earlier today, didn't you?"
Yuder, trying to hide his surprise, almost dropped his own cup. He quickly regained his composure to prevent the trembling cup from spilling over, but it was already too late. Kishiar was watching, a small smile on his narrowed eyes.
"...Did you know?"
"I could feel it from inside."
Yuder recalled Nathan saying how Kishiar could sense the movements of others even when seated quietly. He felt a slight pang of defeat.
'Knowing who the opponent is, why did the impulse surge then...'
"Why did you come and then just leave?"
"It was nothing."
"I might have believed that if someone else said it."
Kishiar replied softly, his chin propped in his hand and his head slightly tilted. The small movement made the distance between them feel much closer due to the small table separating them.
"I can't believe it because it's Yuder Aile."
"Even if you can't believe it, it was truly nothing. What should I say in response?"
"Fine, let's change the subject. I don't want to believe it."
Despite the firm denial, Kishiar quickly changed the subject, letting out a laugh at Yuder's sour expression.
"To be honest, I was waiting for you to come in. I was really looking forward to the sound of knocking on the door. I swear."
"..."
Was the feeling of the pressure on his skin intensifying due to the aura Kishiar was emanating, or was it just his imagination? It could have been both.
"But then you turned around and left, and Nathan came and told me to correspond through letters for a while, wasn't that it?"
"That was..."
"I understand it's because of the heat period."
Kishiar cut in, exhaling a sigh.
"But sometimes, that's what makes it more bitter."
"So, is that why you came here?"
"Um... That wasn't really the intention. But the last thing I remember was thinking about it before closing my eyes."
His fingers, which had been circling the rim of his cup, came to a stop. His red gaze fell onto the lightly rippling surface of the tea.
"I thought perhaps if you tell me you were worried about me and that's why you wanted to come in, maybe this cold could also be dispelled."
