Yuder momentarily forgot everything at the sight of that smiling face. The fact that this was his untidy quarters, and the realization that the coming dawn would bring a day busier than most, all disappeared from his mind.
He stood dazed, merely staring ahead when Kishiar reached out slowly, their gazes locked. He guessed he wanted to touch his cheek, but he halted at a certain distance, trembling slightly, unable to move any closer.
Her hesitant fingertips twitched a few times, only to stop again.
"…Commander?"
When he asked him, implying why he was behaving in such a manner, Kishiar muttered slowly,
"I am so tempted to just let my hand reach you."
After closing his eyes briefly as if suppressing a powerful emotion, he continued,
"...But I can't. I'm too happy. I'm afraid I'll hurt you if I can't control my strength."
His expression mirrored the one he wore when he teased him in the Comander's office about how far he could touch him, only to avoid his response. Surely, he wouldn't need to restrain himself that much just to touch his cheek. Yuder, looking down at his own hand on his knee, cautiously spoke up.
"I'm not so fragile as to get hurt from that."
"I know that. But wouldn't you be repulsed if I accidentally released the energy of an Alpha Awakener?"
"Well..."
It was an answer he hadn't expected. Yuder blinked for a moment, then furrowed his brow.
It seemed Kishiar thought he feared or at least disliked Alpha Awakeners, considering the incident he had experienced during his second gender manifestation. That past incident was tied to his efforts to prevent a recurrence of old memories, but Yuder couldn't explain that, so he remained silent.
He wanted to say that then and now were different, but he didn't know exactly how to put it. He felt like a fool.
"I'm not... I don't dislike Alpha Awakeners. It was just... back then..."
When he fell silent, Kishiar let out a faint smile.
"You're quite affectionate, my assistant."
Affectionate. That was a compliment he never thought he'd hear in his lifetime. He wouldn't have been as surprised if he'd been ambushed. Yuder was bewildered, unsure whether to lower his head or not, when Kishiar suddenly started another topic.
"Do you know the easiest way to identify a broken imperial family member?"
"I don't."
"When they can't control their energy and it leaks out, it can hurt those around them. Something as small as a glass in their hand could shatter, or a living creature that touches them could suddenly die."
Kishiar murmured casually, looking down at his own fingertips.
"In my case, a horse's leg that I touched broke."
A chill ran down his spine.
"It was a creature I cherished, a gift for my birthday, but it couldn't withstand that incident and died."
"…"
"Nathan almost died several times being at my side. Not from battling like a knight, but simply because his master couldn't control his power."
Her tone was gentle yet self-mocking.
"I still think about those times, even now. Even knowing there's no need to worry, I find myself having such weak thoughts."
Perhaps it’s because this is a period of erratic energy, his gaze turned toward Yuder's face as he mumbled. Suddenly, a smile graced his lips.
"Recently, whenever I saw my adorable assistant, such thoughts occurred to me. Perhaps I had grown too fond of him. If I were to hesitate further, it would only grow, never lessen."
Despite the blatant tease, he found himself at a loss for words, perhaps because of the nature of the content.
"But when this tiresome period passes, then..."
Though joy was visible in his eyes, the seemingly cold expression on his face returned. Watching him, Yuder reached out impulsively, ignoring Kishiar's mumbling. The moment his hand unexpectedly touched Kishiar's pale cheek, Kishiar stopped speaking, as if he had been struck by lightning.
"…Nothing's wrong, is it?"
Fortunately, a steady voice, albeit awkward, flowed out.
"I believe you're capable of handling this much. Even if you've become sensitive due to the cycle, over-worrying can be harmful, so please refrain."
Only then did Kishiar glance at the hand touching his left cheek. The sensation of strength entering his cold cheek felt oddly comforting.
'…If someone saw this, they'd arrest me on the spot for an outrageous blasphemy.'
The audacity of touching an imperial family member first. Had any commoner ever dared such an act in the history of the empire? Feeling the sweat pool in his palm, he contemplated whether he should withdraw his hand, just as Kishiar gave a barely perceptible smirk, closing his eyes.
Moments later, a cool warmth enveloped Yuder's hand. Kishiar, who had placed his hand atop Yuder's, tilting his head slightly, tightened his grip on Yuder's hand.
It was as though a giant beast was nuzzling its head into his hand. Before he could respond, a faint voice came to his ears.
"…You're right."
"…"
"Nothing really happens."
"Yes, nothing happens at this level."
Kishiar laughed. Simultaneously, warmth flooded his previously cold cheek. It was as if he could feel the sculpture of his life turn into a living person through his hand. Maybe this was that feeling.
"It's been so long…"
With each murmur akin to a sigh, he could feel the movement of Kishiar's lips beneath his palm.
"It's much warmer than I imagined."
As Kishiar slowly moved his head, his lips got closer to Yuder's hand. He thought about pulling away, but the firm grip on his hand didn't weaken. Finally, Kishiar, with his lips completely against Yuder's hand, closed his eyes and breathed out.
It was a thin breath, as if a bird had finally found a place to breathe.
"…Commander."
"Just a bit more."
As soon as he spoke, Kishiar's lips moved within the tight grip. When Yuder's fingers twitched at the ticklish sensation, he could feel everything, even the contours drawn by the moving lips.
"Sigh…"
Only after a considerable time, when his hand had started to numb, did Kishiar release his lips and reluctantly let go of his hand, sighing like a tired beast. The lips, visible even in the darkness, were noticeably flushed compared to before. The sight was unexpectedly provocative, making Yuder instinctively avert his gaze. A faint laughter echoed in his ears.
"It's time to get up."
Yuder, who was about to ask if he was leaving already, was startled to see that the darkness outside the window had significantly lightened. They hadn't exchanged many words, yet he was taken aback by how much time had passed.
"If we linger much longer... Nathan will realize my absence."
"As soon as you go back, get some rest, even if it's brief."
"I have something to say."
His face, murmuring apologies for stealing sleep time, relaxed even more than before. It seemed that the tension he had been suppressing since their hands touched had finally eased.
"I'll open the door for you."
"It's fine. You don't need to follow me out..."
As he was speaking, Kishiar, who was first to rise, suddenly swayed and steadied himself on the table. The sound of tea cups clashing echoed through the room.
"Commander?"
Worried something was wrong with him, he jumped up in surprise, only to see Kishiar, head lowered and holding his brow.
"...It's nothing. Just a sudden wave of sleepiness."
"Sleepiness, you say. Haven't you slept?"
"Well... I haven't really slept much lately."
He was about to ask if he had been having trouble sleeping when Kishiar, trying to take a step, wavered again. he sprang up quickly to support him.
"Don't... even though I said it’s fine..."
He forced down his hand that was trying to push him away and put his arm around his shoulder. Given his much taller height compared to his, even this was a little challenging.
"We're okay now. I'll move you to the Commander's room. Please hang on a bit longer."
But before they could even take a few steps, Kishiar's knees gave out entirely. He couldn't hold up his weight and they both fell down.
'...Ugh.'
Fortunately, his instinctive use of wind magic cushioned their fall and prevented any injury. He swiftly got up and checked on Kishiar first.
His closed eyes, the still warm cheeks, his firm body... nothing seemed out of the ordinary as he checked him over. His regular, rhythmic breathing suggested he was simply asleep, not ill.
'...Even if he hadn't slept well lately, to suddenly fall asleep like this.'
He had been acting fine, but clearly, something wasn't right. He sighed heavily as he looked down at him. He could use his wind magic to move him, but the problem was that dawn was approaching. How could he be certain no one was already up and preparing to go out for their dawn training? If anyone saw him moving the collapsed Commander from his room, he didn't know what would happen.
'I should move him to my bed for now and report this to Nathan in the morning.'
He waved his hand, summoning a gust of wind, and gently lifted Kishiar's body onto his bed. After taking off his indoor shoes and covering him with a blanket, he found the sight of him laying there somewhat disconcerting.
'Kishiar La Orr is sleeping in my bed...'
It was an absurdly novel and unfamiliar sight. Not once in his previous life, nor in this one, had he ever seen him in such a vulnerable state.
'Now that's settled, but his legs are so long they hang off the bed... What should I do?'
He hadn't expected to worry about bending his long legs which hung off the bed. Feeling awkward with this unfamiliar problem, he tentatively put his hand on his leg, and suddenly felt as guilty as a criminal.
Yuder momentarily forgot everything at the sight of that smiling face. The fact that this was his untidy quarters, and the realization that the coming dawn would bring a day busier than most, all disappeared from his mind.
He stood dazed, merely staring ahead when Kishiar reached out slowly, their gazes locked. He guessed he wanted to touch his cheek, but he halted at a certain distance, trembling slightly, unable to move any closer.
Her hesitant fingertips twitched a few times, only to stop again.
"…Commander?"
When he asked him, implying why he was behaving in such a manner, Kishiar muttered slowly,
"I am so tempted to just let my hand reach you."
After closing his eyes briefly as if suppressing a powerful emotion, he continued,
"...But I can't. I'm too happy. I'm afraid I'll hurt you if I can't control my strength."
His expression mirrored the one he wore when he teased him in the Comander's office about how far he could touch him, only to avoid his response. Surely, he wouldn't need to restrain himself that much just to touch his cheek. Yuder, looking down at his own hand on his knee, cautiously spoke up.
"I'm not so fragile as to get hurt from that."
"I know that. But wouldn't you be repulsed if I accidentally released the energy of an Alpha Awakener?"
"Well..."
It was an answer he hadn't expected. Yuder blinked for a moment, then furrowed his brow.
It seemed Kishiar thought he feared or at least disliked Alpha Awakeners, considering the incident he had experienced during his second gender manifestation. That past incident was tied to his efforts to prevent a recurrence of old memories, but Yuder couldn't explain that, so he remained silent.
He wanted to say that then and now were different, but he didn't know exactly how to put it. He felt like a fool.
"I'm not... I don't dislike Alpha Awakeners. It was just... back then..."
When he fell silent, Kishiar let out a faint smile.
"You're quite affectionate, my assistant."
Affectionate. That was a compliment he never thought he'd hear in his lifetime. He wouldn't have been as surprised if he'd been ambushed. Yuder was bewildered, unsure whether to lower his head or not, when Kishiar suddenly started another topic.
"Do you know the easiest way to identify a broken imperial family member?"
"I don't."
"When they can't control their energy and it leaks out, it can hurt those around them. Something as small as a glass in their hand could shatter, or a living creature that touches them could suddenly die."
Kishiar murmured casually, looking down at his own fingertips.
"In my case, a horse's leg that I touched broke."
A chill ran down his spine.
"It was a creature I cherished, a gift for my birthday, but it couldn't withstand that incident and died."
"…"
"Nathan almost died several times being at my side. Not from battling like a knight, but simply because his master couldn't control his power."
Her tone was gentle yet self-mocking.
"I still think about those times, even now. Even knowing there's no need to worry, I find myself having such weak thoughts."
Perhaps it’s because this is a period of erratic energy, his gaze turned toward Yuder's face as he mumbled. Suddenly, a smile graced his lips.
"Recently, whenever I saw my adorable assistant, such thoughts occurred to me. Perhaps I had grown too fond of him. If I were to hesitate further, it would only grow, never lessen."
Despite the blatant tease, he found himself at a loss for words, perhaps because of the nature of the content.
"But when this tiresome period passes, then..."
Though joy was visible in his eyes, the seemingly cold expression on his face returned. Watching him, Yuder reached out impulsively, ignoring Kishiar's mumbling. The moment his hand unexpectedly touched Kishiar's pale cheek, Kishiar stopped speaking, as if he had been struck by lightning.
"…Nothing's wrong, is it?"
Fortunately, a steady voice, albeit awkward, flowed out.
"I believe you're capable of handling this much. Even if you've become sensitive due to the cycle, over-worrying can be harmful, so please refrain."
Only then did Kishiar glance at the hand touching his left cheek. The sensation of strength entering his cold cheek felt oddly comforting.
'…If someone saw this, they'd arrest me on the spot for an outrageous blasphemy.'
The audacity of touching an imperial family member first. Had any commoner ever dared such an act in the history of the empire? Feeling the sweat pool in his palm, he contemplated whether he should withdraw his hand, just as Kishiar gave a barely perceptible smirk, closing his eyes.
Moments later, a cool warmth enveloped Yuder's hand. Kishiar, who had placed his hand atop Yuder's, tilting his head slightly, tightened his grip on Yuder's hand.
It was as though a giant beast was nuzzling its head into his hand. Before he could respond, a faint voice came to his ears.
"…You're right."
"…"
"Nothing really happens."
"Yes, nothing happens at this level."
Kishiar laughed. Simultaneously, warmth flooded his previously cold cheek. It was as if he could feel the sculpture of his life turn into a living person through his hand. Maybe this was that feeling.
"It's been so long…"
With each murmur akin to a sigh, he could feel the movement of Kishiar's lips beneath his palm.
"It's much warmer than I imagined."
As Kishiar slowly moved his head, his lips got closer to Yuder's hand. He thought about pulling away, but the firm grip on his hand didn't weaken. Finally, Kishiar, with his lips completely against Yuder's hand, closed his eyes and breathed out.
It was a thin breath, as if a bird had finally found a place to breathe.
"…Commander."
"Just a bit more."
As soon as he spoke, Kishiar's lips moved within the tight grip. When Yuder's fingers twitched at the ticklish sensation, he could feel everything, even the contours drawn by the moving lips.
"Sigh…"
Only after a considerable time, when his hand had started to numb, did Kishiar release his lips and reluctantly let go of his hand, sighing like a tired beast. The lips, visible even in the darkness, were noticeably flushed compared to before. The sight was unexpectedly provocative, making Yuder instinctively avert his gaze. A faint laughter echoed in his ears.
"It's time to get up."
Yuder, who was about to ask if he was leaving already, was startled to see that the darkness outside the window had significantly lightened. They hadn't exchanged many words, yet he was taken aback by how much time had passed.
"If we linger much longer... Nathan will realize my absence."
"As soon as you go back, get some rest, even if it's brief."
"I have something to say."
His face, murmuring apologies for stealing sleep time, relaxed even more than before. It seemed that the tension he had been suppressing since their hands touched had finally eased.
"I'll open the door for you."
"It's fine. You don't need to follow me out..."
As he was speaking, Kishiar, who was first to rise, suddenly swayed and steadied himself on the table. The sound of tea cups clashing echoed through the room.
"Commander?"
Worried something was wrong with him, he jumped up in surprise, only to see Kishiar, head lowered and holding his brow.
"...It's nothing. Just a sudden wave of sleepiness."
"Sleepiness, you say. Haven't you slept?"
"Well... I haven't really slept much lately."
He was about to ask if he had been having trouble sleeping when Kishiar, trying to take a step, wavered again. he sprang up quickly to support him.
"Don't... even though I said it’s fine..."
He forced down his hand that was trying to push him away and put his arm around his shoulder. Given his much taller height compared to his, even this was a little challenging.
"We're okay now. I'll move you to the Commander's room. Please hang on a bit longer."
But before they could even take a few steps, Kishiar's knees gave out entirely. He couldn't hold up his weight and they both fell down.
'...Ugh.'
Fortunately, his instinctive use of wind magic cushioned their fall and prevented any injury. He swiftly got up and checked on Kishiar first.
His closed eyes, the still warm cheeks, his firm body... nothing seemed out of the ordinary as he checked him over. His regular, rhythmic breathing suggested he was simply asleep, not ill.
'...Even if he hadn't slept well lately, to suddenly fall asleep like this.'
He had been acting fine, but clearly, something wasn't right. He sighed heavily as he looked down at him. He could use his wind magic to move him, but the problem was that dawn was approaching. How could he be certain no one was already up and preparing to go out for their dawn training? If anyone saw him moving the collapsed Commander from his room, he didn't know what would happen.
'I should move him to my bed for now and report this to Nathan in the morning.'
He waved his hand, summoning a gust of wind, and gently lifted Kishiar's body onto his bed. After taking off his indoor shoes and covering him with a blanket, he found the sight of him laying there somewhat disconcerting.
'Kishiar La Orr is sleeping in my bed...'
It was an absurdly novel and unfamiliar sight. Not once in his previous life, nor in this one, had he ever seen him in such a vulnerable state.
'Now that's settled, but his legs are so long they hang off the bed... What should I do?'
He hadn't expected to worry about bending his long legs which hung off the bed. Feeling awkward with this unfamiliar problem, he tentatively put his hand on his leg, and suddenly felt as guilty as a criminal.
