‘Just leave it.’
Having finally withdrawn from the task more arduous than cupping a cheek - attending to the stiff legs, Yuder slumped into the chair where Kishiar had been seated, massaging his weary shoulders. From his position, he had a clear view of the face of the man lying on the bed.
The sleeping Kishiar looked surprisingly peaceful, much more than Yuder had expected. His breath was so faint, it was barely audible. Looking down at Kishiar, who lay motionless without a single toss or turn, Yuder felt his feelings start to settle.
‘... Isn't he sleeping too much like a corpse?’
Corpse. At the unbidden thought of the word, a long-buried memory suddenly surfaced. The funeral scene of Duke Peletta that took place before the first winter had passed after he became the Cavalry Commander. Even though it was the funeral of the last imperial bloodline, it was quite desolate in front of the casket.
Did the face in the coffin look like this when he silently laid a flower and turned away amid the hostile gazes and murmurings that were pecking and poking him all over?
"..."
Yuder clenched his fists, which were placed on his knees, and drove away his idle thoughts.
‘Am I daydreaming about my past life too much?’
Each time he was faced with Kishiar, and was tempted to kneel to his burning urge, memories and emotions of the past would suddenly spring forth as a backlash. Time had been turned back, but the memories remained unchanged. It was only natural, but the weight of the secret that hadn't been too uncomfortable at first felt increasingly heavy day by day.
Each time Kishiar revealed a bit more of his inner thoughts, Yuder was made painfully aware of the weight of his own hidden memories. Who would have thought that he, who had wanted to know Kishiar's secrets in his previous life, would now be in the opposite situation.
But the difference was clear, even though they found themselves in similar situations. The Yuder of that time had cried out for Kishiar to reveal the truth, but the present Kishiar was silently showing his innermost feelings without asking anything of Yuder, drawing him in.
While he was fine now, he wondered where this growing urge would lead him. Most of the changes from his previous life had been welcomed, but his relationship with Kishiar always felt different.
As he unclenched his hand, the nail marks were clear. Yuder looked down at them, then brought his hand up to his lips, pressing it against the inside of his palm. Unlike when Kishiar's lips had touched, this time it felt no warmth.
Releasing a sigh of disappointment at the foolish action, he noticed the rising sun beyond the window. Avoiding the sunlight, which he would usually have been happy to bask in, he rose to draw the curtains, Yuder thought of one thing.
‘I have already crossed the crossroads.’
Regardless of what he thought, he was now too far along to turn back.
The memory of kissing him still surfaced from time to time, as would the heat of his palm that had touched his lips today, and the sensation of embracing a collapsing body with no strength. He would never forget them.
So, in the end, there was only one thing left.
‘The situation has changed a lot from the initial expectation, but I still have to protect Kishiar. Just think about that.’
Yuder was about to sit back down in the chair, but he paused, looking down at Kishiar.
The energy that Kishiar had been wrapping around his body while he was awake seemed to have also fallen asleep, and the surroundings were much quieter than when he was forcibly suppressing it. Still, if he concentrated, he could feel a heavy energy slowly radiating into the air.
'The vessel…'
Within Kishiar, four distinct powers coexisted - Sword Aura, Magic Power, Divine Power, and the Awakener's Power. His existence could almost be considered a blessing in itself, yet it was a heartbreaking irony that he suffered for so many years, precisely due to the overwhelming nature of his powers.
'If only I could visually perceive this vessel, or feel it more tangibly…'
Mages were said to have ways of knowing how much magic power they had accumulated. Swordsmen, too, at the Swordmaster level, could roughly gauge how much aura they had built up over time. Priests, in particular, were quite adept at quantifying the amount of divine power they possessed.
Out of the four powers, determining the amount of power held by an Awakener was the most challenging. Still, those like Yuder, who had used these powers for a long time and had become sensitive to their flow, could gauge it to some extent. This was in the same vein as being able to visually perceive the flow of power when focused.
The power of an Awakener typically gathered below the navel, where the upper and lower body divided. Some individuals accumulated it elsewhere, but from what Yuder had observed in his past life, this was the general pattern.
'...There may be much I can't do in regards to other powers, but at least the power of an Awakener…'
Maybe it wouldn't hurt to confirm how much of it was present. Considering his state of heightened sensitivity, he might be able to sense the power enveloping him without too much struggle.
With his hand extended, he hesitated momentarily before it landed on the blanket. He then gently lifted the thin veil to gaze at the area around his belly underneath the revealed skin.
He thought that lifting his clothes would make it clearer, but he wanted to avoid any misunderstanding if he woke up.
'After all, I'm trying to discern it through the flow, so there's no need for that.'
With that thought, he placed his hand on his belly, concentrated his vision, and gave it his all.
Suddenly, he felt a tremendous pressure from beneath his hand.
'Huh?'
Without a chance to brace himself, a robust energy from within Kishiar, as if repelling an intruder, burst out with a 'whoosh' and shoved Yuder's hand away. At the same time, a red light emanated from the heated back of his hand.
Light, bursting along the faded purple spots that had been recently thinning, fiercely contested with the energy flowing out of Kishiar.
'...What is this?'
Even when he swiftly withdrew his hand, the light didn't stop flowing. Yuder was caught in a peculiar sensation, somewhat similar to the incident with the Red Stone in the basement, where he felt as though he could touch and manipulate the energies present in this space.
"…Ugh…!"
Groaning as the energy was rapidly drained, he stretched his hand towards Kishiar's body again with great difficulty. The energy radiated once more, causing his body to jolt. Thinking that Kishiar had awoken, he quickly turned his head, but Kishiar's eyes were still closed.
'This is…'
Slowly bending his fingers, Yuder tightly grasped a part of the energy surrounding Kishiar. Although he could not feel anything physically, the sense of 'holding onto something' registered in his mind.
He held onto the energy tightly to prevent it from escaping. After what felt like an eternity, the energetic trembling within his hand gradually calmed down. The energy surrounding Kishiar's body simultaneously weakened and then, abruptly, Yuder began to see unfamiliar landscapes that were starkly different from before.
Yuder saw the differing hues and textures of energies swirling above Kishiar's entire body. It was like watching a moving painting. Though he had never seen or learned about them before, he strangely felt an immediate clarity about their identities.
White divine energy wrapped around his head, the wind-like blue aura concentrated in both hands, golden magic power emanating from the heart like branching blood vessels, and the solid red power enveloping his body from the navel downward.
The latter red energy was, he was certain, the Awakened power that Kishiar possessed.
'I hoped to see it, but who would have thought I'd see it this way.'
The shock was so great it rendered his mind momentarily blank, but he could not afford to stop here. Yuder mustered the waning red energy and focused his mind. The four energies, coursing around his body, seemed to maintain a semblance of balance. However, they tangled and knotted where they met, preventing a smooth flow. The most significant entanglement was near his middle, close to the vital point.
Seeing the fist-sized lump pulsating as though it was a second heart, Yuder unwittingly held his breath.
'...What in the world is that?'
When he focused harder, it looked like the root from where all the energies started. They flowed out and returned to this knotted root, defining and merging their boundaries repeatedly.
Aside from the fact that energy flowed instead of blood, it indeed appeared to be a second heart.
The outermost layer of the lump was, once again, the red energy. Its strong presence maintained the form as though it wrapped and protected everything within.
'...Could that be the vessel?'
The sensation was incredibly intense and overwhelming, yet it also made him exceedingly anxious. Watching the flow of energies swirling around Kishiar's body, Yuder tentatively reached out to touch the nearest tangled bundle. He wanted to confirm if he could physically feel them.
The moment the red-tinged fingertips touched the entangled energy, the knotted portion twitched and recoiled with a sensation akin to sparking fire.
And Kishiar also seemed to feel pain at the same spot, his eyelids flickering and brows furrowing.
Grinding his teeth against the pain in his hand, Yuder bore it for a moment before releasing his breath.
'...It hurts similarly to when the spots were inflamed.'
Still, it was bearable for now. Looking down at his hand, enwrapped in the red glow, he couldn't determine if the spots had spread.
After taking a deep breath, he reached out once again, this time towards the navel where most of the red energy was concentrated. The Awakened energy, glowing the same hue as that enshrouding his hand, softly rippled as if welcoming him.
‘Just leave it.’
Having finally withdrawn from the task more arduous than cupping a cheek - attending to the stiff legs, Yuder slumped into the chair where Kishiar had been seated, massaging his weary shoulders. From his position, he had a clear view of the face of the man lying on the bed.
The sleeping Kishiar looked surprisingly peaceful, much more than Yuder had expected. His breath was so faint, it was barely audible. Looking down at Kishiar, who lay motionless without a single toss or turn, Yuder felt his feelings start to settle.
‘... Isn't he sleeping too much like a corpse?’
Corpse. At the unbidden thought of the word, a long-buried memory suddenly surfaced. The funeral scene of Duke Peletta that took place before the first winter had passed after he became the Cavalry Commander. Even though it was the funeral of the last imperial bloodline, it was quite desolate in front of the casket.
Did the face in the coffin look like this when he silently laid a flower and turned away amid the hostile gazes and murmurings that were pecking and poking him all over?
"..."
Yuder clenched his fists, which were placed on his knees, and drove away his idle thoughts.
‘Am I daydreaming about my past life too much?’
Each time he was faced with Kishiar, and was tempted to kneel to his burning urge, memories and emotions of the past would suddenly spring forth as a backlash. Time had been turned back, but the memories remained unchanged. It was only natural, but the weight of the secret that hadn't been too uncomfortable at first felt increasingly heavy day by day.
Each time Kishiar revealed a bit more of his inner thoughts, Yuder was made painfully aware of the weight of his own hidden memories. Who would have thought that he, who had wanted to know Kishiar's secrets in his previous life, would now be in the opposite situation.
But the difference was clear, even though they found themselves in similar situations. The Yuder of that time had cried out for Kishiar to reveal the truth, but the present Kishiar was silently showing his innermost feelings without asking anything of Yuder, drawing him in.
While he was fine now, he wondered where this growing urge would lead him. Most of the changes from his previous life had been welcomed, but his relationship with Kishiar always felt different.
As he unclenched his hand, the nail marks were clear. Yuder looked down at them, then brought his hand up to his lips, pressing it against the inside of his palm. Unlike when Kishiar's lips had touched, this time it felt no warmth.
Releasing a sigh of disappointment at the foolish action, he noticed the rising sun beyond the window. Avoiding the sunlight, which he would usually have been happy to bask in, he rose to draw the curtains, Yuder thought of one thing.
‘I have already crossed the crossroads.’
Regardless of what he thought, he was now too far along to turn back.
The memory of kissing him still surfaced from time to time, as would the heat of his palm that had touched his lips today, and the sensation of embracing a collapsing body with no strength. He would never forget them.
So, in the end, there was only one thing left.
‘The situation has changed a lot from the initial expectation, but I still have to protect Kishiar. Just think about that.’
Yuder was about to sit back down in the chair, but he paused, looking down at Kishiar.
The energy that Kishiar had been wrapping around his body while he was awake seemed to have also fallen asleep, and the surroundings were much quieter than when he was forcibly suppressing it. Still, if he concentrated, he could feel a heavy energy slowly radiating into the air.
'The vessel…'
Within Kishiar, four distinct powers coexisted - Sword Aura, Magic Power, Divine Power, and the Awakener's Power. His existence could almost be considered a blessing in itself, yet it was a heartbreaking irony that he suffered for so many years, precisely due to the overwhelming nature of his powers.
'If only I could visually perceive this vessel, or feel it more tangibly…'
Mages were said to have ways of knowing how much magic power they had accumulated. Swordsmen, too, at the Swordmaster level, could roughly gauge how much aura they had built up over time. Priests, in particular, were quite adept at quantifying the amount of divine power they possessed.
Out of the four powers, determining the amount of power held by an Awakener was the most challenging. Still, those like Yuder, who had used these powers for a long time and had become sensitive to their flow, could gauge it to some extent. This was in the same vein as being able to visually perceive the flow of power when focused.
The power of an Awakener typically gathered below the navel, where the upper and lower body divided. Some individuals accumulated it elsewhere, but from what Yuder had observed in his past life, this was the general pattern.
'...There may be much I can't do in regards to other powers, but at least the power of an Awakener…'
Maybe it wouldn't hurt to confirm how much of it was present. Considering his state of heightened sensitivity, he might be able to sense the power enveloping him without too much struggle.
With his hand extended, he hesitated momentarily before it landed on the blanket. He then gently lifted the thin veil to gaze at the area around his belly underneath the revealed skin.
He thought that lifting his clothes would make it clearer, but he wanted to avoid any misunderstanding if he woke up.
'After all, I'm trying to discern it through the flow, so there's no need for that.'
With that thought, he placed his hand on his belly, concentrated his vision, and gave it his all.
Suddenly, he felt a tremendous pressure from beneath his hand.
'Huh?'
Without a chance to brace himself, a robust energy from within Kishiar, as if repelling an intruder, burst out with a 'whoosh' and shoved Yuder's hand away. At the same time, a red light emanated from the heated back of his hand.
Light, bursting along the faded purple spots that had been recently thinning, fiercely contested with the energy flowing out of Kishiar.
'...What is this?'
Even when he swiftly withdrew his hand, the light didn't stop flowing. Yuder was caught in a peculiar sensation, somewhat similar to the incident with the Red Stone in the basement, where he felt as though he could touch and manipulate the energies present in this space.
"…Ugh…!"
Groaning as the energy was rapidly drained, he stretched his hand towards Kishiar's body again with great difficulty. The energy radiated once more, causing his body to jolt. Thinking that Kishiar had awoken, he quickly turned his head, but Kishiar's eyes were still closed.
'This is…'
Slowly bending his fingers, Yuder tightly grasped a part of the energy surrounding Kishiar. Although he could not feel anything physically, the sense of 'holding onto something' registered in his mind.
He held onto the energy tightly to prevent it from escaping. After what felt like an eternity, the energetic trembling within his hand gradually calmed down. The energy surrounding Kishiar's body simultaneously weakened and then, abruptly, Yuder began to see unfamiliar landscapes that were starkly different from before.
Yuder saw the differing hues and textures of energies swirling above Kishiar's entire body. It was like watching a moving painting. Though he had never seen or learned about them before, he strangely felt an immediate clarity about their identities.
White divine energy wrapped around his head, the wind-like blue aura concentrated in both hands, golden magic power emanating from the heart like branching blood vessels, and the solid red power enveloping his body from the navel downward.
The latter red energy was, he was certain, the Awakened power that Kishiar possessed.
'I hoped to see it, but who would have thought I'd see it this way.'
The shock was so great it rendered his mind momentarily blank, but he could not afford to stop here. Yuder mustered the waning red energy and focused his mind. The four energies, coursing around his body, seemed to maintain a semblance of balance. However, they tangled and knotted where they met, preventing a smooth flow. The most significant entanglement was near his middle, close to the vital point.
Seeing the fist-sized lump pulsating as though it was a second heart, Yuder unwittingly held his breath.
'...What in the world is that?'
When he focused harder, it looked like the root from where all the energies started. They flowed out and returned to this knotted root, defining and merging their boundaries repeatedly.
Aside from the fact that energy flowed instead of blood, it indeed appeared to be a second heart.
The outermost layer of the lump was, once again, the red energy. Its strong presence maintained the form as though it wrapped and protected everything within.
'...Could that be the vessel?'
The sensation was incredibly intense and overwhelming, yet it also made him exceedingly anxious. Watching the flow of energies swirling around Kishiar's body, Yuder tentatively reached out to touch the nearest tangled bundle. He wanted to confirm if he could physically feel them.
The moment the red-tinged fingertips touched the entangled energy, the knotted portion twitched and recoiled with a sensation akin to sparking fire.
And Kishiar also seemed to feel pain at the same spot, his eyelids flickering and brows furrowing.
Grinding his teeth against the pain in his hand, Yuder bore it for a moment before releasing his breath.
'...It hurts similarly to when the spots were inflamed.'
Still, it was bearable for now. Looking down at his hand, enwrapped in the red glow, he couldn't determine if the spots had spread.
After taking a deep breath, he reached out once again, this time towards the navel where most of the red energy was concentrated. The Awakened energy, glowing the same hue as that enshrouding his hand, softly rippled as if welcoming him.
