Chapter 293
Suddenly, a sensation Yuder had felt in his dreams once again pierced his heart. It was a pain that set his chest ablaze, hotter than the heat rising from his skin, and he belatedly realized its name - regret.
What if, back then, he had asked Kishiar why he kept coming to him? What if he had inquired more about his increasingly frail state? Perhaps things would have been different. Of course, the likelihood was high that he would not have answered honestly and instead erected walls, as he had suspected at the time. But in retrospect, compared to the countless enemies who attempted assassinations against Yuder Aile, these barriers were not so formidable.
Now in front of Yuder, Kishiar La Orr, who was not yet even thirty years old, was writhing in self-reproach and self-loathing. He was younger than the Kishiar in his dreams and far younger than Yuder was before he died.
Yuder had never thought about the time Kishiar spent in Peletta after his only blood-related brother, Emperor Keilusa and the Empress, passed away. More precisely, perhaps he didn't dwell on it because he did not bring it up. However, there was no doubt that those times had been hard for Kishiar. As he thought that perhaps the Kishiar in his dreams had come to him to endure this, the pain in his heart grew like a flame fueled by oil, reaching his solar plexus.
In his previous life, Kishiar seemed an entity too distant and difficult to reach. In the eyes of a just-turned-twenty-year-old country bumpkin, Kishiar the Duke was a person from a world too strange to understand by his known standards.
But now, things were different. While his outer appearance might still be that of a twenty-year-old Yuder Aile, the inner core was long worn away from the greenness of that time. In contrast to Kishiar, whose time had stopped almost as it was now, Yuder had aged more than a decade after the time in his dreams.
“...”
It was bitter to realize that even after traveling back in time, he unconsciously treated Kishiar as a much more mature and difficult entity due to the remaining memories from his previous life.
Kishiar also had a childhood, and he must have dreamt naive dreams. He was a common human who could suffer for those he cherished and could not overcome his boiling emotions, revealing self-reproach and hatred toward himself.
He too, was just a human…
Yuder knew what his face would look like in eleven years. He would grow a bit taller, his face would become more gaunt, and several large scars that never faded would appear on his body. On gloomy days, his right hand sometimes became numb.
He could envision the appearances of the other members of the Cavalry several years from now. Ever would cut her long hair short and a long scar would appear on her cheek. Before the Eldore siblings left the Cavalry, they would grow so tall that no one could treat them as children. He knew what Prince Katchian would look like as he aged, and how the members of the four ducal houses, which Kishiar wished to overthrow, would change.
But he could never imagine an aged Kishiar La Orr.
Every breath he took stirred a stinging pain in his heart, which, combined with the heat from his skin, reminded him of the day he faced death. Since his return, he never deliberately looked back on that last day. What had he been thinking on that day?
Lying beneath the guillotine, the face of someone he had last thought of in his silent rage and despair bloomed once more in the darkness that veiled his vision.
The face that had surfaced only at the very last moment when he could no longer suppress his agony.
It was Kishiar's face.
"..."
Pain cascaded down his spine like tremors. Was the punishment for not being able to see really this gruesome? No matter how he turned his head, he couldn't escape from himself.
Although Kishiar probably didn't intend it, Yuder gasped for breath, feeling as though he was being punished more harshly than anything else. His head throbbed as if it would split open.
"Are you in pain?"
Kishiar, noting Yuder's labored breaths, murmured something and removed his hand from Yuder's face.
"... Bring ... for a moment..."
Feeling Kishiar's presence fading, Yuder thrashed about in the torments that consumed his body. He didn't want Kishiar to disappear. But he couldn't properly move his mouth.
'I...'
His consciousness, which had been erratically wavering, darkened again. Yuder was cast into the darkness.
When he regained consciousness, his surroundings were still quiet. But instead of Kishiar, there were others by his side.
"Yuder. Have you come to your senses? If you have, try opening your mouth."
"…Gakane."
"Yes. It's me."
In the darkness that still obscured his sight, Gakane held his hand. He felt the deep relief Gakane was experiencing through the warmth of his hand.
"Where are the others?"
"They're out for other business. We're taking turns looking after you, so as not to disturb your rest. Oh, are you thirsty? Shall I give you some water?"
As Yuder nodded, Gakane cautiously poured water into his mouth. Then, Priestess Lusan appeared, asking about his physical condition, and informed him of the situation in a weary voice.
"While you were unconscious, your fever kept fluctuating, rising high then dropping low. We were worried if you would come to your senses once you woke up because the temperature changes were so extreme… It's fortunate that you're not feeling pain now."
According to her, Yuder's fever was so severe that the damp towel on his forehead would warm up quickly, and when it fell, he would shiver endlessly, as if frostbitten. Currently, his body temperature was falling, and a fever was starting to come again, which was why he felt quite alright. She added this explanation.
"The divine power is still inconsistently flowing. If poured, the venom seeping into the skin disappears a little, but it returns to its original state as soon as the treatment is over. Although it does not seem to spread as much as before... I don't know how effective this treatment really is."
"I'm... sorry."
Yuder apologized to Lusan with a feeling of regret.
"Gakane, could you bring new damp towels and herbs? They are in the place I told you before."
"Yes."
After Gakane left, Lusan sighed deeply.
"I heard from the Commander, Yuder, that you are weak against monsters. Is that true?"
As soon as Kishiar's name came up, Yuder's chest welled up again. He tried to suppress it and slightly nodded his head.
"Yes."
"I would have stopped you from confronting the monster alone if I knew beforehand… I really regret it."
"Why do you regret, Priestess? That was my choice. It's true that my strength is weaker when dealing with monsters… but I went because I was confident that I could definitely defeat it."
After speaking, Yuder hesitated for a moment and then added another word.
"I never thought it would come to this just by being splashed with blood..."
This was truly a major question. No matter how special the situation from which Pethuamet emerged was, even if it was a monster, it wasn't likely that one's body would react this way simply by being splashed with venomous blood. Pouring in divine power had no effect, and the fact that he had been lying in bed for days, unable to even see, was strange to attribute solely to venom. The likelihood of another cause being involved was high.
Lusan agreed with Yuder's words, her voice sounding slightly stronger.
"You're not the only one. The Commander said the same thing this morning. He mentioned that it's not an issue of divine power or method of treatment, but that the cause of the unchanged condition seems to be elsewhere. He said we need to figure that out. Hence, he is now meeting with the mages of the Western Mage Union."
The mention of mages, a term Yuder hadn't heard in quite a while, surprised him. His last memory of them was of the loud explosion outside when he woke up after being injured.
"Come to think of it, what has been happening since I fainted? I've been in here the whole time and I don't know anything about the situation... I'm still confused even with your explanation."
He was worried that by saying this, Lusan might try to divert his attention again by giving him a sedative, but fortunately, she did not.
"Hmm... the Commander said he would have a conversation with them, so I suppose I can tell you now. He ordered me to try and avoid causing you any unnecessary strain when you wake up."
At her words, Yuder felt a churn in his stomach once more. Whether Lusan knew of this or not, she began changing the bandages wrapped around Yuder while speaking.
"How much have you heard from the Commander?"
"I didn't hear much. He mentioned something about my independent handling of the monster having worked out for the best..."
"Well, you've pretty much heard it all then."
Lusan's short response was followed by a brief pause as she continued changing the bandages.
"While you were away dealing with the monster, the leader and others upstairs were working on finding a way to separate the absorbed magic power from the tongue, and the other mages were tasked with holding down the fort. You remember that, right?"
"I do."
"Shortly after you left, we got news that you had nearly lured the monster to the vicinity of the Magic Spring Ruins. Upon hearing this, the leader ordered several mages to dismantle the amplification and protection circles in advance. He wanted to be prepared even though we hadn't found a complete way to lift the spell."
This order was properly executed until a certain point. However, issues arose when some of the mages heading towards the ruins, where the Magic Spring was, discovered a small Pethuamet and a fleeting spark of greed ignited in their hearts.
Among the mages of the Western Mage Union, there were those like Yuder who had strived to maintain their honor. Yet, others held more considerable rage and determination at the prospect of their research potentially failing in this dangerous situation.
They came to the conclusion that capturing the small Pethuamet alive would prove beneficial for future research. Once they started indulging in their greed, even the act of dismantling their magic circles started to feel unjust. The thought of having to give up when it was uncertain whether Yuder would succeed or fail clouded their judgment.
They secretly captured several Pethuamets by rendering them unconscious. And without fulfilling the task ordered by Micalin, they returned to their base.
This fact was swiftly brought to light by Kanna, who had been meticulously going through the mages' reports under the command of Kishiar.
Chapter 293
Suddenly, a sensation Yuder had felt in his dreams once again pierced his heart. It was a pain that set his chest ablaze, hotter than the heat rising from his skin, and he belatedly realized its name - regret.
What if, back then, he had asked Kishiar why he kept coming to him? What if he had inquired more about his increasingly frail state? Perhaps things would have been different. Of course, the likelihood was high that he would not have answered honestly and instead erected walls, as he had suspected at the time. But in retrospect, compared to the countless enemies who attempted assassinations against Yuder Aile, these barriers were not so formidable.
Now in front of Yuder, Kishiar La Orr, who was not yet even thirty years old, was writhing in self-reproach and self-loathing. He was younger than the Kishiar in his dreams and far younger than Yuder was before he died.
Yuder had never thought about the time Kishiar spent in Peletta after his only blood-related brother, Emperor Keilusa and the Empress, passed away. More precisely, perhaps he didn't dwell on it because he did not bring it up. However, there was no doubt that those times had been hard for Kishiar. As he thought that perhaps the Kishiar in his dreams had come to him to endure this, the pain in his heart grew like a flame fueled by oil, reaching his solar plexus.
In his previous life, Kishiar seemed an entity too distant and difficult to reach. In the eyes of a just-turned-twenty-year-old country bumpkin, Kishiar the Duke was a person from a world too strange to understand by his known standards.
But now, things were different. While his outer appearance might still be that of a twenty-year-old Yuder Aile, the inner core was long worn away from the greenness of that time. In contrast to Kishiar, whose time had stopped almost as it was now, Yuder had aged more than a decade after the time in his dreams.
“...”
It was bitter to realize that even after traveling back in time, he unconsciously treated Kishiar as a much more mature and difficult entity due to the remaining memories from his previous life.
Kishiar also had a childhood, and he must have dreamt naive dreams. He was a common human who could suffer for those he cherished and could not overcome his boiling emotions, revealing self-reproach and hatred toward himself.
He too, was just a human…
Yuder knew what his face would look like in eleven years. He would grow a bit taller, his face would become more gaunt, and several large scars that never faded would appear on his body. On gloomy days, his right hand sometimes became numb.
He could envision the appearances of the other members of the Cavalry several years from now. Ever would cut her long hair short and a long scar would appear on her cheek. Before the Eldore siblings left the Cavalry, they would grow so tall that no one could treat them as children. He knew what Prince Katchian would look like as he aged, and how the members of the four ducal houses, which Kishiar wished to overthrow, would change.
But he could never imagine an aged Kishiar La Orr.
Every breath he took stirred a stinging pain in his heart, which, combined with the heat from his skin, reminded him of the day he faced death. Since his return, he never deliberately looked back on that last day. What had he been thinking on that day?
Lying beneath the guillotine, the face of someone he had last thought of in his silent rage and despair bloomed once more in the darkness that veiled his vision.
The face that had surfaced only at the very last moment when he could no longer suppress his agony.
It was Kishiar's face.
"..."
Pain cascaded down his spine like tremors. Was the punishment for not being able to see really this gruesome? No matter how he turned his head, he couldn't escape from himself.
Although Kishiar probably didn't intend it, Yuder gasped for breath, feeling as though he was being punished more harshly than anything else. His head throbbed as if it would split open.
"Are you in pain?"
Kishiar, noting Yuder's labored breaths, murmured something and removed his hand from Yuder's face.
"... Bring ... for a moment..."
Feeling Kishiar's presence fading, Yuder thrashed about in the torments that consumed his body. He didn't want Kishiar to disappear. But he couldn't properly move his mouth.
'I...'
His consciousness, which had been erratically wavering, darkened again. Yuder was cast into the darkness.
When he regained consciousness, his surroundings were still quiet. But instead of Kishiar, there were others by his side.
"Yuder. Have you come to your senses? If you have, try opening your mouth."
"…Gakane."
"Yes. It's me."
In the darkness that still obscured his sight, Gakane held his hand. He felt the deep relief Gakane was experiencing through the warmth of his hand.
"Where are the others?"
"They're out for other business. We're taking turns looking after you, so as not to disturb your rest. Oh, are you thirsty? Shall I give you some water?"
As Yuder nodded, Gakane cautiously poured water into his mouth. Then, Priestess Lusan appeared, asking about his physical condition, and informed him of the situation in a weary voice.
"While you were unconscious, your fever kept fluctuating, rising high then dropping low. We were worried if you would come to your senses once you woke up because the temperature changes were so extreme… It's fortunate that you're not feeling pain now."
According to her, Yuder's fever was so severe that the damp towel on his forehead would warm up quickly, and when it fell, he would shiver endlessly, as if frostbitten. Currently, his body temperature was falling, and a fever was starting to come again, which was why he felt quite alright. She added this explanation.
"The divine power is still inconsistently flowing. If poured, the venom seeping into the skin disappears a little, but it returns to its original state as soon as the treatment is over. Although it does not seem to spread as much as before... I don't know how effective this treatment really is."
"I'm... sorry."
Yuder apologized to Lusan with a feeling of regret.
"Gakane, could you bring new damp towels and herbs? They are in the place I told you before."
"Yes."
After Gakane left, Lusan sighed deeply.
"I heard from the Commander, Yuder, that you are weak against monsters. Is that true?"
As soon as Kishiar's name came up, Yuder's chest welled up again. He tried to suppress it and slightly nodded his head.
"Yes."
"I would have stopped you from confronting the monster alone if I knew beforehand… I really regret it."
"Why do you regret, Priestess? That was my choice. It's true that my strength is weaker when dealing with monsters… but I went because I was confident that I could definitely defeat it."
After speaking, Yuder hesitated for a moment and then added another word.
"I never thought it would come to this just by being splashed with blood..."
This was truly a major question. No matter how special the situation from which Pethuamet emerged was, even if it was a monster, it wasn't likely that one's body would react this way simply by being splashed with venomous blood. Pouring in divine power had no effect, and the fact that he had been lying in bed for days, unable to even see, was strange to attribute solely to venom. The likelihood of another cause being involved was high.
Lusan agreed with Yuder's words, her voice sounding slightly stronger.
"You're not the only one. The Commander said the same thing this morning. He mentioned that it's not an issue of divine power or method of treatment, but that the cause of the unchanged condition seems to be elsewhere. He said we need to figure that out. Hence, he is now meeting with the mages of the Western Mage Union."
The mention of mages, a term Yuder hadn't heard in quite a while, surprised him. His last memory of them was of the loud explosion outside when he woke up after being injured.
"Come to think of it, what has been happening since I fainted? I've been in here the whole time and I don't know anything about the situation... I'm still confused even with your explanation."
He was worried that by saying this, Lusan might try to divert his attention again by giving him a sedative, but fortunately, she did not.
"Hmm... the Commander said he would have a conversation with them, so I suppose I can tell you now. He ordered me to try and avoid causing you any unnecessary strain when you wake up."
At her words, Yuder felt a churn in his stomach once more. Whether Lusan knew of this or not, she began changing the bandages wrapped around Yuder while speaking.
"How much have you heard from the Commander?"
"I didn't hear much. He mentioned something about my independent handling of the monster having worked out for the best..."
"Well, you've pretty much heard it all then."
Lusan's short response was followed by a brief pause as she continued changing the bandages.
"While you were away dealing with the monster, the leader and others upstairs were working on finding a way to separate the absorbed magic power from the tongue, and the other mages were tasked with holding down the fort. You remember that, right?"
"I do."
"Shortly after you left, we got news that you had nearly lured the monster to the vicinity of the Magic Spring Ruins. Upon hearing this, the leader ordered several mages to dismantle the amplification and protection circles in advance. He wanted to be prepared even though we hadn't found a complete way to lift the spell."
This order was properly executed until a certain point. However, issues arose when some of the mages heading towards the ruins, where the Magic Spring was, discovered a small Pethuamet and a fleeting spark of greed ignited in their hearts.
Among the mages of the Western Mage Union, there were those like Yuder who had strived to maintain their honor. Yet, others held more considerable rage and determination at the prospect of their research potentially failing in this dangerous situation.
They came to the conclusion that capturing the small Pethuamet alive would prove beneficial for future research. Once they started indulging in their greed, even the act of dismantling their magic circles started to feel unjust. The thought of having to give up when it was uncertain whether Yuder would succeed or fail clouded their judgment.
They secretly captured several Pethuamets by rendering them unconscious. And without fulfilling the task ordered by Micalin, they returned to their base.
This fact was swiftly brought to light by Kanna, who had been meticulously going through the mages' reports under the command of Kishiar.
