Chapter 307
The night that Yuder wished wouldn't come arrived all too quickly. As Gakane, who had tended to him one last time, bid him a good night's rest and left, Yuder let out a deep sigh.
In the meantime, he had inquired amongst the others and surprisingly found out that a portion of what Kishiar had said was indeed true. The speed at which the rumors about Yuder killing Pethuamet had spread seemed to have taken the other members by surprise too.
'We only heard information, we don’t know how or what rumors spread. But… the mood among the mages seems to have changed from before.'
With a mutter about how surprising it might be once he was fully healed, Gakane left, making Yuder wish all the more for the success of the magic casting for removing the traces if the amplification circle that would happen the next day.
'Having been bedridden much longer than expected... it would be nice to be able to move about, even just a little.'
At first, he found it unbearable to just lie there without doing anything, but now, thanks to his colleagues who took turns keeping him company, spending the day eating and sleeping didn't feel like sitting on a bed of needles.
Even though he was almost oblivious to what was happening outside, the fact that he could feel so stable was undoubtedly because they, and Kishiar, had taken such good care of Yuder.
When he thought of Kishiar, his mind naturally drifted to the conversation they had earlier that day. In fact, what Kishiar had said lingered in Yuder’s mind even while he was with the others. It was a conversation that had been shocking enough to do so.
Kishiar had said that being with Yuder was not a disgrace to him.
As he revisited those resolute words, he once again felt a tingling sensation deep within his chest.
What could he call this feeling? Shock? Or pain?
He hadn't expected Kishiar, of all people, who had been involved in the disgrace in his previous life, to say such things.
'The Kishiar of my past life… He used to tell me not to fight every time I got into trouble because of that disgrace, but he never mentioned his personal thoughts.'
Yuder had never wished to hear what Kishiar had to say. He assumed it would naturally upset him, and he did not want to mention the distasteful rumor, even inadvertently.
But what was the reality?
Did the Kishiar of his past life consider that rumor, and the truth behind it, an unpleasant disgrace?
'...I can't know.'
He can't know now. If it were before, he would have stopped thinking at this point.
However, now he couldn’t just stop there, feeling a throbbing pain as if holes had been punched somewhere inside of him. Yuder thought about the Kishiar from his past life that he saw through dreams and memories that he knew yet didn’t know.
The man who had hidden himself behind a cold and thick wall until his last day. The man from a distant past who knew the emotions Yuder felt for him but disappeared without giving a proper explanation.
However, he couldn’t deny that the things he was forcibly taught by that man enabled Yuder Aile to survive this far.
'I thought he was a meaningless opponent... but perhaps that wasn’t the case. If so, what did he think of me?'
What did the Kishiar of the past really think of Yuder Aile?
His successor, a casual bedmate, or perhaps there was something more?
He felt incredibly strange. It was the first time he had ever entertained such a thought. He had never really cared about how Kishiar viewed or thought of him, neither in this life nor in the previous one.
‘There were many others aside from Kishiar who treated me differently in my past and current life… Why does he alone feel so peculiar?’
The result could vary tremendously depending on the type of relationship formed and the shared experiences with the same person. Gakane, the Eldore siblings, Enon, and his other comrades in the Cavalry were living proof of that.
So, he thought that the transparent and honest emotions Kishiar was currently showing towards Yuder could also be understood as part of such changes. Yet, something felt different, a feeling that wouldn’t leave his heart.
“…Is he already asleep?”
At that moment, there was a rattle near the window, followed by the sound of a cool breeze and a familiar presence entering the room. Yuder reflexively turned his head, a sudden sense of bewilderment welling up.
“Why are you entering through there instead of the door…?”
“I needed to come and go unnoticed, so I climbed through the window.”
Yuder answered, his voice trembling slightly.
“I was told… this is the second floor.”
“Don’t worry. When I was in the palace, I managed to navigate even the fifth floor just fine. Nobody knew I was going in and out. Of course, it’ll be the same today.”
For a moment, Yuder recalled how his past self had often climbed through the office window even after retiring. Despite evading all sorts of surveillance and infiltrating successfully, it seemed he had been accustomed to such activities from the start.
Thinking of the man, who could portray a royal elegance better than anyone when he wished, shamelessly climbing through windows, stirred complicated feelings in Yuder.
“Please don’t do anything dangerous. You might get hurt.”
“I wish you’d express such concern for yourself a bit more. Now, are you ready to go?”
With a playful voice, the presence moved closer. The man who had confirmed Yuder’s temperature had gone down, and that he was dressed, seemed to ponder something for a moment, then placed a thin, long blanket over Yuder’s shoulders.
“Good. It was wise to bring a blanket. It’s a chilly night, so this will help. Now……”
Hands supporting Yuder’s legs and back lightly lifted him into an embrace. Yuder tensed, suddenly enveloped in Kishiar’s scent.
“There’s no need to be tense. I’ll use my ability for a moment when we leave, so don’t be surprised.”
With confident strides, Kishiar began moving towards an unknown destination, then, without hesitation, he stretched out and jumped down. Yuder felt a faint energy lightly wrapping around his body.
‘Is this… the power of an Awakener?’
What Yuder had believed to be Kishiar’s power until now was a typical trait of a Shin Division member, an ability that strengthened the physical body. However, experiencing that power directly for the first time, it felt strangely different from what he had previously understood.
A strengthening ability should only affect the body. But Kishiar’s energy was not only on his body but also moving in a certain direction.
‘Moving the energy towards the ground, as if… pushing away…?’
Just as he got to that thought, their slowly descending bodies gently touched the ground.
“I tried to descend as slowly as possible, were you scared of the fall?”
“…Just now, what exactly did you do?”
“Huh?”
“You used the power of an Awakener that you possess, didn't you?”
“That’s right.”
Just as Yuder was about to say more, Kishiar, making a soft hushing noise, began to move, mumbling quietly.
"Let's find a place without people to talk. After all, this is a walk for just the two of us."
Unable to see, Yuder didn't know where they were going, but Kishiar moved without the slightest hesitation. Judging by the sound of trees in the great forest rustling in the wind close by, they seemed to have ventured deep into the forest.
"We're on the way to the Magic Spring. We'll be climbing up into the trees soon."
The man, kindly informing Yuder of their direction to prevent his curiosity, did just as he had said a moment later, leaping high into the air. Like when he fell from the bedroom, an Awakener's energy enveloped Yuder, and, feeling as though he was being pulled upwards by something, he managed to reach a great height.
"Alright, we're here."
"...Was the top of the tree our destination?"
"I climbed up earlier, and this is the best spot to see the moon. Can you feel it?"
Yuder shook his head. No matter how bright the moonlight, he could not see it with his eyes covered by bandages. Unlike sunlight, he couldn't feel its warmth, so he figured it must be nothing special.
Sitting on top of the tree, Kishiar took Yuder in his arms. He was so careful in wrapping his arm around Yuder's shoulder, it made his body instinctively shiver.
"It's a shame. The new moon is out tonight, and it's so bright with no clouds. Just like in daylight, I could see your face clearly."
His face, his hair, Kishiar murmured slowly, his voice uncomfortably close. Yuder, feeling a chill sensation inside his ears, slightly turned his head away to avoid it. But, being in Kishiar's arms, there was no escaping it.
"Aren't you cold?"
"...Yes."
"Right now, we're above a forest of trees that move like the sea beneath our feet. Every time the wind blows, the green forest sways all at once to one side, then rolls back, much like waves. Have you ever seen the sea?"
Yuder fell silent for a moment. He had seen the sea in his previous life, but not yet in this one. Not knowing how to respond, he simply closed his mouth. Fortunately, Kishiar didn't press for an answer, and his voice continued.
"The sea is beautiful during the day, but it's even more beautiful at night. As the sun sets, the boats that have been fishing all day start returning home one by one. Above these boats, countless birds follow along, dancing."
The sea that remained in Yuder's memory was just the sea itself with its rolling waves, he didn't have any impressive recollections of the people living there or the sight of boats. But as he listened to Kishiar, the scene he was describing began to take shape in the black darkness.
"You must have seen the sea quite often."
"Isn't Peletta located by the sea?"
A soft laugh brushed past his ear.
"From the top of the castle, you can see the black cliffs and the sea spread out below every day."
Chapter 307
The night that Yuder wished wouldn't come arrived all too quickly. As Gakane, who had tended to him one last time, bid him a good night's rest and left, Yuder let out a deep sigh.
In the meantime, he had inquired amongst the others and surprisingly found out that a portion of what Kishiar had said was indeed true. The speed at which the rumors about Yuder killing Pethuamet had spread seemed to have taken the other members by surprise too.
'We only heard information, we don’t know how or what rumors spread. But… the mood among the mages seems to have changed from before.'
With a mutter about how surprising it might be once he was fully healed, Gakane left, making Yuder wish all the more for the success of the magic casting for removing the traces if the amplification circle that would happen the next day.
'Having been bedridden much longer than expected... it would be nice to be able to move about, even just a little.'
At first, he found it unbearable to just lie there without doing anything, but now, thanks to his colleagues who took turns keeping him company, spending the day eating and sleeping didn't feel like sitting on a bed of needles.
Even though he was almost oblivious to what was happening outside, the fact that he could feel so stable was undoubtedly because they, and Kishiar, had taken such good care of Yuder.
When he thought of Kishiar, his mind naturally drifted to the conversation they had earlier that day. In fact, what Kishiar had said lingered in Yuder’s mind even while he was with the others. It was a conversation that had been shocking enough to do so.
Kishiar had said that being with Yuder was not a disgrace to him.
As he revisited those resolute words, he once again felt a tingling sensation deep within his chest.
What could he call this feeling? Shock? Or pain?
He hadn't expected Kishiar, of all people, who had been involved in the disgrace in his previous life, to say such things.
'The Kishiar of my past life… He used to tell me not to fight every time I got into trouble because of that disgrace, but he never mentioned his personal thoughts.'
Yuder had never wished to hear what Kishiar had to say. He assumed it would naturally upset him, and he did not want to mention the distasteful rumor, even inadvertently.
But what was the reality?
Did the Kishiar of his past life consider that rumor, and the truth behind it, an unpleasant disgrace?
'...I can't know.'
He can't know now. If it were before, he would have stopped thinking at this point.
However, now he couldn’t just stop there, feeling a throbbing pain as if holes had been punched somewhere inside of him. Yuder thought about the Kishiar from his past life that he saw through dreams and memories that he knew yet didn’t know.
The man who had hidden himself behind a cold and thick wall until his last day. The man from a distant past who knew the emotions Yuder felt for him but disappeared without giving a proper explanation.
However, he couldn’t deny that the things he was forcibly taught by that man enabled Yuder Aile to survive this far.
'I thought he was a meaningless opponent... but perhaps that wasn’t the case. If so, what did he think of me?'
What did the Kishiar of the past really think of Yuder Aile?
His successor, a casual bedmate, or perhaps there was something more?
He felt incredibly strange. It was the first time he had ever entertained such a thought. He had never really cared about how Kishiar viewed or thought of him, neither in this life nor in the previous one.
‘There were many others aside from Kishiar who treated me differently in my past and current life… Why does he alone feel so peculiar?’
The result could vary tremendously depending on the type of relationship formed and the shared experiences with the same person. Gakane, the Eldore siblings, Enon, and his other comrades in the Cavalry were living proof of that.
So, he thought that the transparent and honest emotions Kishiar was currently showing towards Yuder could also be understood as part of such changes. Yet, something felt different, a feeling that wouldn’t leave his heart.
“…Is he already asleep?”
At that moment, there was a rattle near the window, followed by the sound of a cool breeze and a familiar presence entering the room. Yuder reflexively turned his head, a sudden sense of bewilderment welling up.
“Why are you entering through there instead of the door…?”
“I needed to come and go unnoticed, so I climbed through the window.”
Yuder answered, his voice trembling slightly.
“I was told… this is the second floor.”
“Don’t worry. When I was in the palace, I managed to navigate even the fifth floor just fine. Nobody knew I was going in and out. Of course, it’ll be the same today.”
For a moment, Yuder recalled how his past self had often climbed through the office window even after retiring. Despite evading all sorts of surveillance and infiltrating successfully, it seemed he had been accustomed to such activities from the start.
Thinking of the man, who could portray a royal elegance better than anyone when he wished, shamelessly climbing through windows, stirred complicated feelings in Yuder.
“Please don’t do anything dangerous. You might get hurt.”
“I wish you’d express such concern for yourself a bit more. Now, are you ready to go?”
With a playful voice, the presence moved closer. The man who had confirmed Yuder’s temperature had gone down, and that he was dressed, seemed to ponder something for a moment, then placed a thin, long blanket over Yuder’s shoulders.
“Good. It was wise to bring a blanket. It’s a chilly night, so this will help. Now……”
Hands supporting Yuder’s legs and back lightly lifted him into an embrace. Yuder tensed, suddenly enveloped in Kishiar’s scent.
“There’s no need to be tense. I’ll use my ability for a moment when we leave, so don’t be surprised.”
With confident strides, Kishiar began moving towards an unknown destination, then, without hesitation, he stretched out and jumped down. Yuder felt a faint energy lightly wrapping around his body.
‘Is this… the power of an Awakener?’
What Yuder had believed to be Kishiar’s power until now was a typical trait of a Shin Division member, an ability that strengthened the physical body. However, experiencing that power directly for the first time, it felt strangely different from what he had previously understood.
A strengthening ability should only affect the body. But Kishiar’s energy was not only on his body but also moving in a certain direction.
‘Moving the energy towards the ground, as if… pushing away…?’
Just as he got to that thought, their slowly descending bodies gently touched the ground.
“I tried to descend as slowly as possible, were you scared of the fall?”
“…Just now, what exactly did you do?”
“Huh?”
“You used the power of an Awakener that you possess, didn't you?”
“That’s right.”
Just as Yuder was about to say more, Kishiar, making a soft hushing noise, began to move, mumbling quietly.
"Let's find a place without people to talk. After all, this is a walk for just the two of us."
Unable to see, Yuder didn't know where they were going, but Kishiar moved without the slightest hesitation. Judging by the sound of trees in the great forest rustling in the wind close by, they seemed to have ventured deep into the forest.
"We're on the way to the Magic Spring. We'll be climbing up into the trees soon."
The man, kindly informing Yuder of their direction to prevent his curiosity, did just as he had said a moment later, leaping high into the air. Like when he fell from the bedroom, an Awakener's energy enveloped Yuder, and, feeling as though he was being pulled upwards by something, he managed to reach a great height.
"Alright, we're here."
"...Was the top of the tree our destination?"
"I climbed up earlier, and this is the best spot to see the moon. Can you feel it?"
Yuder shook his head. No matter how bright the moonlight, he could not see it with his eyes covered by bandages. Unlike sunlight, he couldn't feel its warmth, so he figured it must be nothing special.
Sitting on top of the tree, Kishiar took Yuder in his arms. He was so careful in wrapping his arm around Yuder's shoulder, it made his body instinctively shiver.
"It's a shame. The new moon is out tonight, and it's so bright with no clouds. Just like in daylight, I could see your face clearly."
His face, his hair, Kishiar murmured slowly, his voice uncomfortably close. Yuder, feeling a chill sensation inside his ears, slightly turned his head away to avoid it. But, being in Kishiar's arms, there was no escaping it.
"Aren't you cold?"
"...Yes."
"Right now, we're above a forest of trees that move like the sea beneath our feet. Every time the wind blows, the green forest sways all at once to one side, then rolls back, much like waves. Have you ever seen the sea?"
Yuder fell silent for a moment. He had seen the sea in his previous life, but not yet in this one. Not knowing how to respond, he simply closed his mouth. Fortunately, Kishiar didn't press for an answer, and his voice continued.
"The sea is beautiful during the day, but it's even more beautiful at night. As the sun sets, the boats that have been fishing all day start returning home one by one. Above these boats, countless birds follow along, dancing."
The sea that remained in Yuder's memory was just the sea itself with its rolling waves, he didn't have any impressive recollections of the people living there or the sight of boats. But as he listened to Kishiar, the scene he was describing began to take shape in the black darkness.
"You must have seen the sea quite often."
"Isn't Peletta located by the sea?"
A soft laugh brushed past his ear.
"From the top of the castle, you can see the black cliffs and the sea spread out below every day."
