Chapter 308
Yuder was startled and, at the same time, felt a bitter taste at the unexpected fact that the sea described by Kishiar was indeed the likeness of Peletta. The Peletta that remained in his memory was far from such beauty.
"At first, I thought it was a desolate place, incredibly so. I had no enthusiasm because it was not a land I willingly went to. However, once I changed my attitude, I realized there was no sea as magnificent in the world. The truth is... nothing had changed."
Nothing had changed, yet the sea was desolate at one point, and at another, it was beautiful.
He had said he couldn't forget the landscape he saw then. Yuder painted in the darkness the rough sea below the black cliffs that Kishiar had softly described, a small fishing boat, and a flock of birds following the boat. He couldn't tell how beautiful it was just from the vague image he summoned in his head, but it was strange that he felt like he could understand how it appeared and felt when he heard it from Kishiar's mouth.
What kind of feelings did Kishiar have as he looked at the sea in those times?
Yuder couldn't even guess how someone who had become the Duke of Peletta unwillingly would have felt there.
"I still feel similar to that time."
Towards Yuder, who was vaguely trying to imagine Kishiar looking down at the sea from the castle, came a soft voice like a breeze grazing his cheeks.
"I never thought the meaningless Great Sarain Forest would feel as beautiful as it does now. How about you, my assistant?"
"I..."
Yuder hesitated for a moment, but then slowly continued his words.
"I cannot see it to feel it directly... But I think I understand that the scene you described would be beautiful."
"Really? It's an honor that my description was helpful."
With a smile, Kishiar answered and brought his lips close to Yuder's ear.
"Then someday... will you come to Peletta Castle? If your sight gets better, that is."
Sometimes, a phrase can unexpectedly become the key to a drastic change. To Yuder, those words served such a function.
Kishiar's words seemed to drop and knock inside his chest. It tumbled and crashed and then disappeared as if sucked into a vacant hole that was hiding in the deepest part of his bottom.
'Someday, will you go to Peletta? There's a sea there too.'
At the faint voice overflowing between the closed gaps, Yuder stopped breathing for a moment and slightly parted his lips.
What? When did I hear such a thing from Kishiar again?
As if responding to his question, a fragment of an old memory smoothly surfaced.
'Ah... yes. It was when I had just joined the Cavalry.'
The memory came back easily enough to make it strange why he hadn't thought of it. It was from the time when Yuder had just joined the Cavalry in his previous life.
Yuder enjoyed training late into the night, and occasionally, Kishiar would show up unexpectedly and give some advice to the one who stayed late, watching his movements before leaving. He remembered those words as something that had casually slipped out during their conversations…
'No. Were those really meaningless words?'
While Kishiar might not know, it could be that Yuder, who had heard those words, remembered them quite impressively. He thought that might be the case.
Why had he forgotten it until now? It was surprising and breathtaking to learn that such a small memory was linked to Kishiar and was one of the holes made inside him.
The weight of things he hadn't even known were gone suddenly weighed heavy on his head.
"…Commander."
Yuder called out to him in a daze.
"Hm?"
"I am…"
He wanted to say something, but the words wouldn't leave his mouth. What could he possibly say? Could it be that they have had a similar conversation before? That he had been to Peletta, but it was the day he killed Kishiar La Orr? He swallowed a multitude of stories that shouldn't have been said. Instead, Yuder decided to give a different response.
"…Understood. I will go."
For the first time, he was grateful that his likely distorted face was hidden behind bandages.
"Even if my eyes don't recover, I will go to see the sea."
"Really?"
Kishiar responded cheerfully. Yuder nodded, leaning weakly into him. The arms that held him tighter, as if they had been waiting, were extraordinarily warm.
Even though he started the conversation presuming rejection, Kishiar never once expressed any negative feelings towards that fact. The only time he showed negativity was when he revealed self-blame towards himself. That terrifyingly tender demeanor, that incomprehensible honesty, that warmth he had never experienced in his past life, felt like a punishment to Yuder Aile.
"Good. Make sure you don't regret it. Look forward to it. But I don't like the assumption that you will go even if your eyes don't get better, so let's leave that out."
"…Do you believe the magic you will cast tomorrow will completely cure my condition?"
Yuder asked slowly. The answer that came back was concise.
"Rather than believing, I have to make it so."
The sentiment behind those words, was it confidence or a wish? Either way, he could definitely feel that Kishiar was determined to heal him.
Yuder was suddenly reminded of the day Kishiar had said he wanted to become a hero. Although his dream of punishing those who were exploiting the Empire was still underway in a place unknown to anyone, and the Duke of Peletta, known to the world, was just a troublemaker, he was the one who would save Yuder tomorrow.
Then what would be the difference between him and a hero?
Even if he had accomplished nothing and had regressed in his previous life, this time, he will become the hero he dreamed of. He will make sure he does.
Yuder lifted his head towards where Kishiar's face would be. As he thought about how he wanted to see his expression right in front of his eyes, a voice tinged with a faint smile echoed.
"Do you think it's somewhat cool? I feel like you do."
"…"
"I'm kidding."
Yuder sighed. He couldn't imagine the calm man who had laughingly brushed off and manipulated all the malicious rumors surrounding him, showing an inhuman patience within that bright voice. But ultimately, that too was Kishiar La Orr.
'Ultimately… it was Kishiar La Orr.'
Yuder sensed something from his thoughts and recalled it once again.
Before Kishiar came to the bedroom, he was pondering why Kishiar felt different from the others, whose attitudes towards him had changed across his past and present lives. Suddenly, the answer he couldn't find then seemed to spring up from within him.
While comparing the two lives, if his relationships with others had changed from one to ten, his relationship with Kishiar, despite appearing to have changed the most, somehow still felt the same in some aspects.
'Yes… that was it. I'm not sure exactly what to call it…'
Once he knew the answer, once he filled all the holes, what would change?
He already felt as if he was being sufficiently punished. Would he experience even greater suffering here? Or...
"I think your body temperature is dropping. Shall we head in?"
"Commander, you mentioned earlier about your ability... I haven't heard it yet."
Yuder murmured, grabbing the hand that was adjusting the blanket wrapped around his shoulders, while gently brushing his cheek. The hand was devoid of strength, yet Kishiar halted his movements at once.
"Ability? Ah, were you that curious?"
"I thought your ability would be of the enhancement type, but was I wrong?"
"It's enhancement, yes, but... It feels a bit different from the kind of power that members with physical enhancement in the Shin Division possess."
Mumbling something unintelligible, Kishiar decided it would be faster to demonstrate with his body. He took Yuder's right hand and lightly held it.
"When I first awakened two years ago, I thought my power was simply to enhance my strength. As time passed, I concluded it was an ability to change the direction of power while in an enhanced state. But not long ago, my thoughts began to change slightly."
“Now, watch.”
Kishiar loosened his grip, letting go of the hand he was holding. Naturally, Yuder's hand, which had been supported, should have fallen limp. Yet, astonishingly, it did not fall but seemed stuck within Kishiar's open palm.
Yuder felt an unseen force moving intensely upward from below Kishiar's hand. It was as if an invisible wind was lifting his hand from beneath. Shortly after, when Kishiar cut off the force, Yuder's hand fell powerlessly. Kishiar caught it swiftly and smiled briefly, as if asking if he had seen it.
"You, who are sensitive to power, must have felt how it moved, right?"
"...It felt like you were pulling the target and letting it go."
"That's right. In the enhanced state, I can pull the power toward me or push it away. It's still difficult to move consciously, so this is my limit. But, in others' eyes..."
"They would see you moving extremely fast, or deflecting before being hit."
"Yes, exactly."
Images of Kishiar from his previous life, facing Pethuamet in single combat, and training with his Cavalry members flashed quickly through Yuder's mind. The mystery of Kishiar's movements, which made it seem as if the enemies were hurling themselves at him, was finally resolved.
'So according to this, did he develop his ability in two stages...? All in just two years?'
Kishiar simply said his thoughts had changed, but Yuder's judgement was a little different. Depending on training and environmental factors, an Awakener's power could be refined or evolved indefinitely. It was an incredible feat that Kishiar, who likely hadn't received proper training like the others, had advanced his ability this far - something that even Awakeners ten years in the future would find unbelievable.
"...You're incredible."
"It's just a shift in perspective. When you sit down and have some spare time, what else is there to think about?"
Kishiar casually made a comment that could make the Cavalry members, who had toiled and sweated daily to develop their abilities, vomit in disbelief.
"The last time my thoughts changed was actually very recently. I realized something after the day I went to find you."
On that day when Kishiar had run through the forest to find Yuder, who had gone to kill Pethuamet, he had mentioned feeling a thin string inside him that he hadn't noticed before. But from the sound of it, that wasn't the only thing he had discovered.
"I was too overwhelmed at the time to realize, but after reflecting, I noticed that the flow of power I used while running that day was slightly different from before. I think at that moment, I might have desperately wanted to pull something towards me."
Kishiar cradled Yuder in his arms and stood up, uttering one last word.
"Even this might not be the complete form of my power. Unlike magic that operates on set formulas, there's no definitive answer to this power."
Kishiar, who used to move slowly as before, passed through the forest in an instant and reached Yuder's bedroom. The interior of the Western Mage Union base was absolutely quiet, everyone seemingly asleep.
"Well, everything turned out just as I promised. No one will know we've been for a walk."
The man laid Yuder on the bed, gently brushed his hair aside, and covered him with a blanket.
"You don't have a fever yet, but I'll stay here until you fall asleep. If you need anything, just tell me."
As he heard the sound of the man sitting down on the chair next to the bed, Yuder was engulfed in a mix of emotions that left him speechless.
"Just go and get some sleep."
"On a day like this, forcing myself to sleep would only make me feel more tired."
"But still..."
"It's more comforting and relaxing for me to stay here, so don't worry."
Despite hearing this, Yuder too felt like sleep was far away that night. After several failed attempts to fall asleep and a faint sigh, Kishiar murmured quietly.
"Why?"
"...No, nothing."
"Are you hungry?"
"No, not at all."
Despite the firm denial, Kishiar, who had been moving a bit, grasped Yuder's hand and placed something in it.
"It's late and there's nothing I can give you right now, but you should at least have this."
Yuder was startled to realize the object now in his hand had a surprisingly familiar feel to it. There was no way he wouldn't recognize the object wrapped in crinkling paper, with its round, hard surface.
"…This is."
Just as he was about to ask if it was candy, his fingers brushed against the worn, soft part of the wrapper. Yuder immediately recognized what the candy was.
"Isn't this the candy I had?"
"That's right."
"How did you..."
"I had it after it fell out of your clothes while I was treating your injury. I thought you didn't want to eat it and left it behind... but that doesn't seem to be the case."
"You've been keeping this since then? I thought someone had thrown it away because I couldn't find it."
"It's not something that rots easily."
After replying nonchalantly, Kishiar added after a moment of silence.
"…I couldn't help but pick it up, thinking it could have been the last thing left by my assistant."
Yuder, feeling guilty for surprising him, immediately closed his mouth. Kishiar gently posed a question.
"But the wrapper is quite worn, why didn't you eat it for three days? I gave it to you to eat one per day... didn't it taste good?"
"No, that's not it. The reason is..."
Yuder hesitated, gently biting his lip. It was only after he recovered the candy that he was able to objectively reflect on his own behavior, soothing his anxious heart by touching the candy until the wrapper was worn, especially when faced with this question from the person who had given it to him.
"...If you hadn't returned after three days, I was planning to eat it then."
"And after eating it?"
"I would have gone out to find you."
At Yuder's unwavering response, Kishiar exclaimed, "My goodness," and burst into laughter.
"Alone?"
"Haven't I already said that I would?"
"That's true, you did... but..."
The muttering man suddenly fell silent. The next moment, a sweet sigh filled with warmth and laughter flowed from him.
"...Hmm. What to do. Right now, I really... feel something irresistible."
Before he finished speaking, his lips approached and lightly kissed Yuder's forehead, then slid down to touch the tip of his nose, both cheeks, and finally his lips. Although Yuder was surprised by the sudden contact, he didn't stop the soft kisses that grew gradually deeper.
Finally, when their tongues entwined for a long moment before parting, an unmistakably hungry breath flowed between them.
"...I'm glad you didn't lose it. Sleep well."
It was the first time he had received such a farewell with their foreheads and noses touching.
Chapter 308
Yuder was startled and, at the same time, felt a bitter taste at the unexpected fact that the sea described by Kishiar was indeed the likeness of Peletta. The Peletta that remained in his memory was far from such beauty.
"At first, I thought it was a desolate place, incredibly so. I had no enthusiasm because it was not a land I willingly went to. However, once I changed my attitude, I realized there was no sea as magnificent in the world. The truth is... nothing had changed."
Nothing had changed, yet the sea was desolate at one point, and at another, it was beautiful.
He had said he couldn't forget the landscape he saw then. Yuder painted in the darkness the rough sea below the black cliffs that Kishiar had softly described, a small fishing boat, and a flock of birds following the boat. He couldn't tell how beautiful it was just from the vague image he summoned in his head, but it was strange that he felt like he could understand how it appeared and felt when he heard it from Kishiar's mouth.
What kind of feelings did Kishiar have as he looked at the sea in those times?
Yuder couldn't even guess how someone who had become the Duke of Peletta unwillingly would have felt there.
"I still feel similar to that time."
Towards Yuder, who was vaguely trying to imagine Kishiar looking down at the sea from the castle, came a soft voice like a breeze grazing his cheeks.
"I never thought the meaningless Great Sarain Forest would feel as beautiful as it does now. How about you, my assistant?"
"I..."
Yuder hesitated for a moment, but then slowly continued his words.
"I cannot see it to feel it directly... But I think I understand that the scene you described would be beautiful."
"Really? It's an honor that my description was helpful."
With a smile, Kishiar answered and brought his lips close to Yuder's ear.
"Then someday... will you come to Peletta Castle? If your sight gets better, that is."
Sometimes, a phrase can unexpectedly become the key to a drastic change. To Yuder, those words served such a function.
Kishiar's words seemed to drop and knock inside his chest. It tumbled and crashed and then disappeared as if sucked into a vacant hole that was hiding in the deepest part of his bottom.
'Someday, will you go to Peletta? There's a sea there too.'
At the faint voice overflowing between the closed gaps, Yuder stopped breathing for a moment and slightly parted his lips.
What? When did I hear such a thing from Kishiar again?
As if responding to his question, a fragment of an old memory smoothly surfaced.
'Ah... yes. It was when I had just joined the Cavalry.'
The memory came back easily enough to make it strange why he hadn't thought of it. It was from the time when Yuder had just joined the Cavalry in his previous life.
Yuder enjoyed training late into the night, and occasionally, Kishiar would show up unexpectedly and give some advice to the one who stayed late, watching his movements before leaving. He remembered those words as something that had casually slipped out during their conversations…
'No. Were those really meaningless words?'
While Kishiar might not know, it could be that Yuder, who had heard those words, remembered them quite impressively. He thought that might be the case.
Why had he forgotten it until now? It was surprising and breathtaking to learn that such a small memory was linked to Kishiar and was one of the holes made inside him.
The weight of things he hadn't even known were gone suddenly weighed heavy on his head.
"…Commander."
Yuder called out to him in a daze.
"Hm?"
"I am…"
He wanted to say something, but the words wouldn't leave his mouth. What could he possibly say? Could it be that they have had a similar conversation before? That he had been to Peletta, but it was the day he killed Kishiar La Orr? He swallowed a multitude of stories that shouldn't have been said. Instead, Yuder decided to give a different response.
"…Understood. I will go."
For the first time, he was grateful that his likely distorted face was hidden behind bandages.
"Even if my eyes don't recover, I will go to see the sea."
"Really?"
Kishiar responded cheerfully. Yuder nodded, leaning weakly into him. The arms that held him tighter, as if they had been waiting, were extraordinarily warm.
Even though he started the conversation presuming rejection, Kishiar never once expressed any negative feelings towards that fact. The only time he showed negativity was when he revealed self-blame towards himself. That terrifyingly tender demeanor, that incomprehensible honesty, that warmth he had never experienced in his past life, felt like a punishment to Yuder Aile.
"Good. Make sure you don't regret it. Look forward to it. But I don't like the assumption that you will go even if your eyes don't get better, so let's leave that out."
"…Do you believe the magic you will cast tomorrow will completely cure my condition?"
Yuder asked slowly. The answer that came back was concise.
"Rather than believing, I have to make it so."
The sentiment behind those words, was it confidence or a wish? Either way, he could definitely feel that Kishiar was determined to heal him.
Yuder was suddenly reminded of the day Kishiar had said he wanted to become a hero. Although his dream of punishing those who were exploiting the Empire was still underway in a place unknown to anyone, and the Duke of Peletta, known to the world, was just a troublemaker, he was the one who would save Yuder tomorrow.
Then what would be the difference between him and a hero?
Even if he had accomplished nothing and had regressed in his previous life, this time, he will become the hero he dreamed of. He will make sure he does.
Yuder lifted his head towards where Kishiar's face would be. As he thought about how he wanted to see his expression right in front of his eyes, a voice tinged with a faint smile echoed.
"Do you think it's somewhat cool? I feel like you do."
"…"
"I'm kidding."
Yuder sighed. He couldn't imagine the calm man who had laughingly brushed off and manipulated all the malicious rumors surrounding him, showing an inhuman patience within that bright voice. But ultimately, that too was Kishiar La Orr.
'Ultimately… it was Kishiar La Orr.'
Yuder sensed something from his thoughts and recalled it once again.
Before Kishiar came to the bedroom, he was pondering why Kishiar felt different from the others, whose attitudes towards him had changed across his past and present lives. Suddenly, the answer he couldn't find then seemed to spring up from within him.
While comparing the two lives, if his relationships with others had changed from one to ten, his relationship with Kishiar, despite appearing to have changed the most, somehow still felt the same in some aspects.
'Yes… that was it. I'm not sure exactly what to call it…'
Once he knew the answer, once he filled all the holes, what would change?
He already felt as if he was being sufficiently punished. Would he experience even greater suffering here? Or...
"I think your body temperature is dropping. Shall we head in?"
"Commander, you mentioned earlier about your ability... I haven't heard it yet."
Yuder murmured, grabbing the hand that was adjusting the blanket wrapped around his shoulders, while gently brushing his cheek. The hand was devoid of strength, yet Kishiar halted his movements at once.
"Ability? Ah, were you that curious?"
"I thought your ability would be of the enhancement type, but was I wrong?"
"It's enhancement, yes, but... It feels a bit different from the kind of power that members with physical enhancement in the Shin Division possess."
Mumbling something unintelligible, Kishiar decided it would be faster to demonstrate with his body. He took Yuder's right hand and lightly held it.
"When I first awakened two years ago, I thought my power was simply to enhance my strength. As time passed, I concluded it was an ability to change the direction of power while in an enhanced state. But not long ago, my thoughts began to change slightly."
“Now, watch.”
Kishiar loosened his grip, letting go of the hand he was holding. Naturally, Yuder's hand, which had been supported, should have fallen limp. Yet, astonishingly, it did not fall but seemed stuck within Kishiar's open palm.
Yuder felt an unseen force moving intensely upward from below Kishiar's hand. It was as if an invisible wind was lifting his hand from beneath. Shortly after, when Kishiar cut off the force, Yuder's hand fell powerlessly. Kishiar caught it swiftly and smiled briefly, as if asking if he had seen it.
"You, who are sensitive to power, must have felt how it moved, right?"
"...It felt like you were pulling the target and letting it go."
"That's right. In the enhanced state, I can pull the power toward me or push it away. It's still difficult to move consciously, so this is my limit. But, in others' eyes..."
"They would see you moving extremely fast, or deflecting before being hit."
"Yes, exactly."
Images of Kishiar from his previous life, facing Pethuamet in single combat, and training with his Cavalry members flashed quickly through Yuder's mind. The mystery of Kishiar's movements, which made it seem as if the enemies were hurling themselves at him, was finally resolved.
'So according to this, did he develop his ability in two stages...? All in just two years?'
Kishiar simply said his thoughts had changed, but Yuder's judgement was a little different. Depending on training and environmental factors, an Awakener's power could be refined or evolved indefinitely. It was an incredible feat that Kishiar, who likely hadn't received proper training like the others, had advanced his ability this far - something that even Awakeners ten years in the future would find unbelievable.
"...You're incredible."
"It's just a shift in perspective. When you sit down and have some spare time, what else is there to think about?"
Kishiar casually made a comment that could make the Cavalry members, who had toiled and sweated daily to develop their abilities, vomit in disbelief.
"The last time my thoughts changed was actually very recently. I realized something after the day I went to find you."
On that day when Kishiar had run through the forest to find Yuder, who had gone to kill Pethuamet, he had mentioned feeling a thin string inside him that he hadn't noticed before. But from the sound of it, that wasn't the only thing he had discovered.
"I was too overwhelmed at the time to realize, but after reflecting, I noticed that the flow of power I used while running that day was slightly different from before. I think at that moment, I might have desperately wanted to pull something towards me."
Kishiar cradled Yuder in his arms and stood up, uttering one last word.
"Even this might not be the complete form of my power. Unlike magic that operates on set formulas, there's no definitive answer to this power."
Kishiar, who used to move slowly as before, passed through the forest in an instant and reached Yuder's bedroom. The interior of the Western Mage Union base was absolutely quiet, everyone seemingly asleep.
"Well, everything turned out just as I promised. No one will know we've been for a walk."
The man laid Yuder on the bed, gently brushed his hair aside, and covered him with a blanket.
"You don't have a fever yet, but I'll stay here until you fall asleep. If you need anything, just tell me."
As he heard the sound of the man sitting down on the chair next to the bed, Yuder was engulfed in a mix of emotions that left him speechless.
"Just go and get some sleep."
"On a day like this, forcing myself to sleep would only make me feel more tired."
"But still..."
"It's more comforting and relaxing for me to stay here, so don't worry."
Despite hearing this, Yuder too felt like sleep was far away that night. After several failed attempts to fall asleep and a faint sigh, Kishiar murmured quietly.
"Why?"
"...No, nothing."
"Are you hungry?"
"No, not at all."
Despite the firm denial, Kishiar, who had been moving a bit, grasped Yuder's hand and placed something in it.
"It's late and there's nothing I can give you right now, but you should at least have this."
Yuder was startled to realize the object now in his hand had a surprisingly familiar feel to it. There was no way he wouldn't recognize the object wrapped in crinkling paper, with its round, hard surface.
"…This is."
Just as he was about to ask if it was candy, his fingers brushed against the worn, soft part of the wrapper. Yuder immediately recognized what the candy was.
"Isn't this the candy I had?"
"That's right."
"How did you..."
"I had it after it fell out of your clothes while I was treating your injury. I thought you didn't want to eat it and left it behind... but that doesn't seem to be the case."
"You've been keeping this since then? I thought someone had thrown it away because I couldn't find it."
"It's not something that rots easily."
After replying nonchalantly, Kishiar added after a moment of silence.
"…I couldn't help but pick it up, thinking it could have been the last thing left by my assistant."
Yuder, feeling guilty for surprising him, immediately closed his mouth. Kishiar gently posed a question.
"But the wrapper is quite worn, why didn't you eat it for three days? I gave it to you to eat one per day... didn't it taste good?"
"No, that's not it. The reason is..."
Yuder hesitated, gently biting his lip. It was only after he recovered the candy that he was able to objectively reflect on his own behavior, soothing his anxious heart by touching the candy until the wrapper was worn, especially when faced with this question from the person who had given it to him.
"...If you hadn't returned after three days, I was planning to eat it then."
"And after eating it?"
"I would have gone out to find you."
At Yuder's unwavering response, Kishiar exclaimed, "My goodness," and burst into laughter.
"Alone?"
"Haven't I already said that I would?"
"That's true, you did... but..."
The muttering man suddenly fell silent. The next moment, a sweet sigh filled with warmth and laughter flowed from him.
"...Hmm. What to do. Right now, I really... feel something irresistible."
Before he finished speaking, his lips approached and lightly kissed Yuder's forehead, then slid down to touch the tip of his nose, both cheeks, and finally his lips. Although Yuder was surprised by the sudden contact, he didn't stop the soft kisses that grew gradually deeper.
Finally, when their tongues entwined for a long moment before parting, an unmistakably hungry breath flowed between them.
"...I'm glad you didn't lose it. Sleep well."
It was the first time he had received such a farewell with their foreheads and noses touching.
