"No. Weren't you just recently agonizing over whether to discuss the past? I thought I had resolved it to some extent by making sacrifices with this very body, and now what...!"
Enon had an exceptional ability to sense things, as he had often claimed he could easily read the minds of younger people. Yuder had no intention of revealing it this way, but since Enon had caught on, there was no need to hold back any longer. Yuder took a shallow breath and spoke.
"...That's how it is. Your suspicions are probably correct."
"Really? You actually did it during the holiday?"
"Yes."
Upon vocalizing his answer, Yuder felt a sudden realization that all those events had indeed transpired in reality, and an odd sensation washed over him. Enon, too, appeared to share a similar emotion, his eyes twitching in a complicated expression before he finally exploded.
"What happened to the libido suppressant I gave you!"
"...So that's your first question? I didn't take it. You said it was natural, so I believed you."
If it hadn't been for those words, Yuder might have taken even longer to decide to turn the key to their relationship anew.
"..."
"I chose to stay with Commander because I wanted to. I'll probably continue to do so."
Enon had been the one who knew best how Yuder had evolved to reach this point. If Yuder had decided that it was okay for everyone to know about his changing relationship with Kishiar, then Enon was surely one of the first who should be informed.
"So I have no regrets."
"You don't regret it?"
Enon's gaze became almost piercing as he suddenly stood up. A moment later, he collapsed back into his chair, holding his forehead in his hands.
"Ha. The medication you took to the west, worried that the surrounding mages might get exhausted—that was also for the Commander, wasn't it?"
"..."
"I thought so... But how can you be sure that this isn't just a temporary addiction effect, triggered by the mutual attraction between two Awakeners with opposing second genders?"
Caught off guard by the unexpected question, Yuder looked up in confusion.
"What are you talking about?"
"After I asked you about this, I started gathering some information from other members. They say there’s nothing as blind and temporary as attraction due to second gender connection. Were you aware of that? If this is just a transient phenomenon, you may be taking an enormous risk."
"Enon."
Yuder cut him off.
"Is that why you asked me about it back then?"
"Yes! If you weren't acting so irresponsibly with your own body, would I have been curious?"
"..."
"I've been suspicious from the start. Changing the future, not taking revenge, but simply sticking around a specific individual—I thought you weren't a typical madman... I wanted to discuss this issue with you when you returned, but then this happened..."
It appeared that Enon's suspicion and concern had started much earlier than Yuder had imagined. He had noticed occasions when Enon suddenly got angry or displayed a strange reaction, but he hadn’t paid much attention to them. Now he considered that these might have been related to this issue.
However, Enon’s anger didn't last long. It seemed to dissolve when he couldn’t find a trace of hesitation in Yuder’s eyes.
After a long silence, Yuder finally spoke.
"I appreciate your concern. But there's no need to worry. I’ve already thought everything through."
“...”
"It wasn't because I manifested a second gender that I chose to be with the Commander. To be honest, that wasn't even a starting point for me. It was rather the opposite. I'm sure of it."
Enon remained silent for a while.
Just when he thought the conversation might end there, Enon quietly opened his mouth.
"So, he now knows everything about you?"
"No."
"What? Didn't you say it was all out in the open? Then what—"
"He doesn't know everything yet, but it's okay now. The issue has been resolved."
"I really don't understand you. Nor the Commander, for that matter. No matter how I see it, this seems crazier than any of the insane things you plan to do in the future."
His tone was harsh, but embedded within it was a genuine concern for Yuder. Yuder thought of all the risks Enon had just summarized as 'insane things,' and quietly smiled.
"Yeah, thanks."
"..."
Whether Enon thought he was being mocked, he shut his mouth with a grimace. But Yuder's gratitude was sincere.
He had never before realized how significant it was to have someone wholeheartedly speak on his behalf. Whether or not anyone was concerned about him, Yuder had always been on edge, wary of others.
It might not be dramatically better now compared to then, but at least he could genuinely believe there was no need to be overly cautious or suspicious.
After a moment lost in thought, he spoke as sincerely as possible.
"At first, I never thought I'd end up like this, never thought I'd be involved with the Commander either. But now it's better than it was. If my soul has found peace since being together, then the choice can't have been entirely bad. And I intend to keep it that way. So, don't think too poorly of the situation."
"..."
"The Commander said he would wait for me until the end. It's my choice now, and the same goes for the vacation."
"You've got to be kidding me..."
With an exasperated sigh, Enon ruffled his hair as he let out yet another uncountable curse.
"Let me ask you one more thing. Was there anything like this in the 'past'?"
"We were entangled, but it wasn't the same."
The person he had been involved with might have been the same, but nothing else about the circumstances was. And the outcomes were different, too.
Enon, who had been staring intently at Yuder's face without blinking, slowly responded.
"Fine, I get it."
Through his voice, Yuder sensed that Enon had softened emotionally and regained his composure.
"How's your body? Any pain?"
"None. I'm fine."
"I'd trust you only if you were as big as Kishiar."
Enon stood up from his seat after making a light jab at Kishiar's size. He looked as if he had aged years in just a few minutes.
"Leaving?"
"Yes. I had more to say, but I'm too tired. I need to rest if I'm to follow you tomorrow. We'll talk more later."
"You're coming tomorrow?"
"I need to know who I'm dealing with if I'm to investigate on my own. It's faster to see it firsthand if it's happening in the capital."
With that, Enon waved his hand in a somewhat hasty gesture and left. Yuder stood up from his seat, watching Enon's retreating figure. For some reason, he felt like returning to Kishiar's office where he had just left.
…
The following day was one of those rare occasions in the history of the Orr Empire where something extraordinary occurred.
The head of the Tain Ducal House, one of the four great noble families that wielded immense power over the Orr Empire, stood trial. The Duke had exploited his position, which allowed him control over the western trade routes, to illegally smuggle dangerous goods. Worse still, he was accused of human trafficking and even running slave auctions.
However, the atmosphere was entirely different from the trial of the Apeto family. Most of those who came forward to defend the Tain Duke were from other families. As for the Tain family itself, it was quite the opposite. People were rushing in to condemn the Duke, citing even more reasons than the charges that had already been levied against him.
"No. Weren't you just recently agonizing over whether to discuss the past? I thought I had resolved it to some extent by making sacrifices with this very body, and now what...!"
Enon had an exceptional ability to sense things, as he had often claimed he could easily read the minds of younger people. Yuder had no intention of revealing it this way, but since Enon had caught on, there was no need to hold back any longer. Yuder took a shallow breath and spoke.
"...That's how it is. Your suspicions are probably correct."
"Really? You actually did it during the holiday?"
"Yes."
Upon vocalizing his answer, Yuder felt a sudden realization that all those events had indeed transpired in reality, and an odd sensation washed over him. Enon, too, appeared to share a similar emotion, his eyes twitching in a complicated expression before he finally exploded.
"What happened to the libido suppressant I gave you!"
"...So that's your first question? I didn't take it. You said it was natural, so I believed you."
If it hadn't been for those words, Yuder might have taken even longer to decide to turn the key to their relationship anew.
"..."
"I chose to stay with Commander because I wanted to. I'll probably continue to do so."
Enon had been the one who knew best how Yuder had evolved to reach this point. If Yuder had decided that it was okay for everyone to know about his changing relationship with Kishiar, then Enon was surely one of the first who should be informed.
"So I have no regrets."
"You don't regret it?"
Enon's gaze became almost piercing as he suddenly stood up. A moment later, he collapsed back into his chair, holding his forehead in his hands.
"Ha. The medication you took to the west, worried that the surrounding mages might get exhausted—that was also for the Commander, wasn't it?"
"..."
"I thought so... But how can you be sure that this isn't just a temporary addiction effect, triggered by the mutual attraction between two Awakeners with opposing second genders?"
Caught off guard by the unexpected question, Yuder looked up in confusion.
"What are you talking about?"
"After I asked you about this, I started gathering some information from other members. They say there’s nothing as blind and temporary as attraction due to second gender connection. Were you aware of that? If this is just a transient phenomenon, you may be taking an enormous risk."
"Enon."
Yuder cut him off.
"Is that why you asked me about it back then?"
"Yes! If you weren't acting so irresponsibly with your own body, would I have been curious?"
"..."
"I've been suspicious from the start. Changing the future, not taking revenge, but simply sticking around a specific individual—I thought you weren't a typical madman... I wanted to discuss this issue with you when you returned, but then this happened..."
It appeared that Enon's suspicion and concern had started much earlier than Yuder had imagined. He had noticed occasions when Enon suddenly got angry or displayed a strange reaction, but he hadn’t paid much attention to them. Now he considered that these might have been related to this issue.
However, Enon’s anger didn't last long. It seemed to dissolve when he couldn’t find a trace of hesitation in Yuder’s eyes.
After a long silence, Yuder finally spoke.
"I appreciate your concern. But there's no need to worry. I’ve already thought everything through."
“...”
"It wasn't because I manifested a second gender that I chose to be with the Commander. To be honest, that wasn't even a starting point for me. It was rather the opposite. I'm sure of it."
Enon remained silent for a while.
Just when he thought the conversation might end there, Enon quietly opened his mouth.
"So, he now knows everything about you?"
"No."
"What? Didn't you say it was all out in the open? Then what—"
"He doesn't know everything yet, but it's okay now. The issue has been resolved."
"I really don't understand you. Nor the Commander, for that matter. No matter how I see it, this seems crazier than any of the insane things you plan to do in the future."
His tone was harsh, but embedded within it was a genuine concern for Yuder. Yuder thought of all the risks Enon had just summarized as 'insane things,' and quietly smiled.
"Yeah, thanks."
"..."
Whether Enon thought he was being mocked, he shut his mouth with a grimace. But Yuder's gratitude was sincere.
He had never before realized how significant it was to have someone wholeheartedly speak on his behalf. Whether or not anyone was concerned about him, Yuder had always been on edge, wary of others.
It might not be dramatically better now compared to then, but at least he could genuinely believe there was no need to be overly cautious or suspicious.
After a moment lost in thought, he spoke as sincerely as possible.
"At first, I never thought I'd end up like this, never thought I'd be involved with the Commander either. But now it's better than it was. If my soul has found peace since being together, then the choice can't have been entirely bad. And I intend to keep it that way. So, don't think too poorly of the situation."
"..."
"The Commander said he would wait for me until the end. It's my choice now, and the same goes for the vacation."
"You've got to be kidding me..."
With an exasperated sigh, Enon ruffled his hair as he let out yet another uncountable curse.
"Let me ask you one more thing. Was there anything like this in the 'past'?"
"We were entangled, but it wasn't the same."
The person he had been involved with might have been the same, but nothing else about the circumstances was. And the outcomes were different, too.
Enon, who had been staring intently at Yuder's face without blinking, slowly responded.
"Fine, I get it."
Through his voice, Yuder sensed that Enon had softened emotionally and regained his composure.
"How's your body? Any pain?"
"None. I'm fine."
"I'd trust you only if you were as big as Kishiar."
Enon stood up from his seat after making a light jab at Kishiar's size. He looked as if he had aged years in just a few minutes.
"Leaving?"
"Yes. I had more to say, but I'm too tired. I need to rest if I'm to follow you tomorrow. We'll talk more later."
"You're coming tomorrow?"
"I need to know who I'm dealing with if I'm to investigate on my own. It's faster to see it firsthand if it's happening in the capital."
With that, Enon waved his hand in a somewhat hasty gesture and left. Yuder stood up from his seat, watching Enon's retreating figure. For some reason, he felt like returning to Kishiar's office where he had just left.
…
The following day was one of those rare occasions in the history of the Orr Empire where something extraordinary occurred.
The head of the Tain Ducal House, one of the four great noble families that wielded immense power over the Orr Empire, stood trial. The Duke had exploited his position, which allowed him control over the western trade routes, to illegally smuggle dangerous goods. Worse still, he was accused of human trafficking and even running slave auctions.
However, the atmosphere was entirely different from the trial of the Apeto family. Most of those who came forward to defend the Tain Duke were from other families. As for the Tain family itself, it was quite the opposite. People were rushing in to condemn the Duke, citing even more reasons than the charges that had already been levied against him.
