The thoughts and feelings that lay within Kishiar were inscrutable, but at least the touch of his hand as he caressed Yuder's hair remained consistently gentle. Yuder felt his anxiety dissipate surprisingly quickly under that touch.
Hesitating for a moment, he finally spoke with composure.
"You said I didn't have to answer, but... I will. The reason I could speculate on the prince's potential, Your Highness, is closely tied to experience. The person who taught me many things never explicitly instructed me in such matters."
It felt oddly peculiar to talk about Kishiar from his past life as if he were someone else, especially when Yuder knew both the Kishiar of then and now were one and the same. More so since Kishiar himself would be unaware of this.
Kishiar, who had been fondling Yuder's hair, paused and blinked.
"I see. Very well."
"For more details about that, I'm not quite sure how to explain at the moment... so I will stop here. I apologize."
"That's fine. Your answer has given me food for thought."
Kishiar readily responded.
"Is there anything else you wish to know?"
"Hmm. Curious."
Yuder sensed Kishiar's gaze scanning his face, as if sketching his expressions. A moment later, the corners of Kishiar's lips lifted faintly.
"Well, even after all this consideration, there's one particular thing that's both difficult and intriguing to ascertain through mere speculation."
"What is it?"
His thick golden eyebrows, which maintained a pleasing balance above his forehead, shifted ever so slightly. The tranquil atmosphere around Kishiar suddenly changed direction.
"Was my assistant truly alright speaking about someone he can't currently meet?"
Whether he was happy, sad, angry, or even emotionless, Yuder couldn't utter a word in the face of Kishiar's question that solely focused on his well-being.
It was always this way. Yuder found it impossible to predict Kishiar's responses.
There were countless questions that could be raised from the scattered words, but what Kishiar was genuinely curious about was simply Yuder himself. Just him.
As if nothing else mattered.
As if all other conjectures and questions had never existed in the first place.
"..."
In the midst of a sensation akin to being pricked by a needle and emotions he couldn't even name, all Yuder could muster was a single statement.
"Yes. Of course... I am fine."
Kishiar's fingers brushed Yuder's head instead of a verbal reply. Wordlessly, they continued to share warmth until they reached their destination.
Finally, as they arrived at the headquarters of the Cavalry and their entwined arms separated, Yuder felt the chill of the sudden coldness that took its place.
He knew this fleeting confusion of senses would soon vanish, that the chill he felt when alone was the norm. Yet, inexplicably, Yuder felt a fleeting pang of pain at that moment. It was utterly astonishing.
He had never felt the cold as a source of discomfort while living alone for an extended period in a mountain battered by harsh winds all day. Yet, the mere loss of another's warmth could cause such pain. It was a reality he had never before realized.
From the day he had impulsively begun to desire Kishiar, this blind sentiment had grown uncontrollably deeper. And just how far would this change lead him?
It seemed strange that one could yearn so intensely for something even more profound when already bound so closely—both physically and emotionally—as if woven together by a thread.
For the first time, Yuder found himself afraid of the excessive heat of an emotion he had never felt the need nor the ability to name.
…
"Uh-huh. So, you're saying... I should occasionally check around the members of the Cavalry using my abilities to see if the Diarca Duchy or any other nobles have ulterior motives for getting involved? Is this the only favor you're asking?"
"Yes."
"That doesn't sound too hard! I'll do it when I have time."
After meeting with the Empress, Yuder went to Kanna as he had intended and requested that she keep an eye on those around them. This was the first proper conversation they had had since the party, as both had been occupied with their respective duties. Kanna still didn't come too close to him, but her demeanor had improved significantly compared to before the party.
"If it becomes too difficult, don't push yourself. Just stop and let me know."
"It should be fine. I've been training really, really hard these days to control my abilities. I've practiced prioritizing essential information, so this will be a good test."
"Is that because of me?"
"..."
Kanna smiled awkwardly in the silence. There was no answer, but her silence was affirmation enough.
"I've been curious because I didn't get to hear properly before... what exactly did you read from me?"
Exhaling deeply, Yuder asked earnestly. He wasn't overly concerned, judging by what he had heard before; it didn't seem like she had read anything about his past life. Nonetheless, he didn't want to be the reason for her struggle.
"Uh... would it be okay if I didn't say?"
"Why?"
"Well... people say that to maintain a good relationship for a long time, it's important to keep a certain distance. Since this happened due to my lack of control, it's better to bury it and move on rather than make both of us uncomfortable... that's what I thought."
That Kanna would suggest moving on without discussing it indicated just how sensitive the issue must be.
Upon noticing Kanna's cheeks growing increasingly flushed as the topic progressed, Yuder decided it would be best to postpone uncovering the truth behind the matter.
"Fine. If it's that uncomfortable for you, we'll move on for now. But since this also involves me, I'll need to know eventually. You can't just bury it and move on alone."
"Ah, right! By the way, did anything happen when you visited the Empress yesterday? I wanted to ask that first but completely forgot. Silly me."
Kanna awkwardly and abruptly shifted the topic.
Gently looking at her, Yuder obliged her with an answer.
"Nothing special happened."
"Did she not call you to reprimand you for what happened at the party?"
It seemed like Kanna was harboring the suspicion that the Empress had summoned Yuder to scold him for the events at the party.
"She didn't mention that day at all."
"Then what did you discuss?"
"She was curious about what I'd been up to before and after joining the Cavalry, so I told her."
There were also discussions about the Emperor's health and about Kishiar, but those were subjects he couldn't share with Kanna. Instead, Yuder glossed over those details with a simple statement.
"Having the Commander with me meant I hardly had to speak."
"...Ah, ah, I see. So, it wasn't just you; the Commander was with you as well... Discussing you..."
"Discussing me among other things."
"Other things..."
For some reason, Kanna's words dwindled sharply. To reassure her, Yuder mentioned that he had also received a small gift from the Empress. Naturally, what came to mind next was the most striking part of the conversation he had with the Empress and Kishiar that day.
'Imperial Heir.'
In an era where many things were changing rapidly, it was crucial who would lead the nation. Nelarn, who had the opportunity to grow faster by obtaining a faster-winning Heir than in his previous life, was a prime example.
'It took less than five years for Nelarn to dominate the small countries in the west in my previous life. Things can only be the same or better now, as no disasters have occurred yet.'
It was welcome news that Emperor Keilusa seemed to be considering switching his successor from Katchian to Kishiar, at least from the standpoint of someone who had already seen the future. But what about Kishiar himself?
When he heard those words, Kishiar did not make his intentions clear and moved on. However, the response that questioned whether he was no longer the Duke of Peletta could be interpreted as leaning more towards denial than affirmation.
But if Kishiar were open to becoming the Imperial Heir...
If the day comes when he wishes for it...
Ejain, who had survived tough times, enduring attacks from his late father and his brothers, eventually succeeded in toppling all of his siblings and seized the throne. Would it be more difficult for Kishiar to become the Imperial Heir?
'If we proceed with Katchian and Diarca unharmed, there could be a situation close to civil unrest...'
It was not impossible if laws were ignored and only brute force was applied. That was Yuder's assessment. However, there was an important point missing.
The path of change shown by Kishiar and Emperor Keilusa may seem frustrating, but for the most part, they chose methods that would cause the least amount of bloodshed among ordinary imperial citizens.
By that standard, the just-considered approach of ignoring the law and pushing through with force alone was impossible.
'Victories obtained through bloodshed are hard to recognize. If you're prepared to see the opponent's blood, you must also be prepared to shed your own.'
Yuder's eyes, which had turned cold for a moment, returned to their usual state. Ultimately, what was most important to him was Kishiar's own will. There was no need to jump ahead now.
The thoughts and feelings that lay within Kishiar were inscrutable, but at least the touch of his hand as he caressed Yuder's hair remained consistently gentle. Yuder felt his anxiety dissipate surprisingly quickly under that touch.
Hesitating for a moment, he finally spoke with composure.
"You said I didn't have to answer, but... I will. The reason I could speculate on the prince's potential, Your Highness, is closely tied to experience. The person who taught me many things never explicitly instructed me in such matters."
It felt oddly peculiar to talk about Kishiar from his past life as if he were someone else, especially when Yuder knew both the Kishiar of then and now were one and the same. More so since Kishiar himself would be unaware of this.
Kishiar, who had been fondling Yuder's hair, paused and blinked.
"I see. Very well."
"For more details about that, I'm not quite sure how to explain at the moment... so I will stop here. I apologize."
"That's fine. Your answer has given me food for thought."
Kishiar readily responded.
"Is there anything else you wish to know?"
"Hmm. Curious."
Yuder sensed Kishiar's gaze scanning his face, as if sketching his expressions. A moment later, the corners of Kishiar's lips lifted faintly.
"Well, even after all this consideration, there's one particular thing that's both difficult and intriguing to ascertain through mere speculation."
"What is it?"
His thick golden eyebrows, which maintained a pleasing balance above his forehead, shifted ever so slightly. The tranquil atmosphere around Kishiar suddenly changed direction.
"Was my assistant truly alright speaking about someone he can't currently meet?"
Whether he was happy, sad, angry, or even emotionless, Yuder couldn't utter a word in the face of Kishiar's question that solely focused on his well-being.
It was always this way. Yuder found it impossible to predict Kishiar's responses.
There were countless questions that could be raised from the scattered words, but what Kishiar was genuinely curious about was simply Yuder himself. Just him.
As if nothing else mattered.
As if all other conjectures and questions had never existed in the first place.
"..."
In the midst of a sensation akin to being pricked by a needle and emotions he couldn't even name, all Yuder could muster was a single statement.
"Yes. Of course... I am fine."
Kishiar's fingers brushed Yuder's head instead of a verbal reply. Wordlessly, they continued to share warmth until they reached their destination.
Finally, as they arrived at the headquarters of the Cavalry and their entwined arms separated, Yuder felt the chill of the sudden coldness that took its place.
He knew this fleeting confusion of senses would soon vanish, that the chill he felt when alone was the norm. Yet, inexplicably, Yuder felt a fleeting pang of pain at that moment. It was utterly astonishing.
He had never felt the cold as a source of discomfort while living alone for an extended period in a mountain battered by harsh winds all day. Yet, the mere loss of another's warmth could cause such pain. It was a reality he had never before realized.
From the day he had impulsively begun to desire Kishiar, this blind sentiment had grown uncontrollably deeper. And just how far would this change lead him?
It seemed strange that one could yearn so intensely for something even more profound when already bound so closely—both physically and emotionally—as if woven together by a thread.
For the first time, Yuder found himself afraid of the excessive heat of an emotion he had never felt the need nor the ability to name.
…
"Uh-huh. So, you're saying... I should occasionally check around the members of the Cavalry using my abilities to see if the Diarca Duchy or any other nobles have ulterior motives for getting involved? Is this the only favor you're asking?"
"Yes."
"That doesn't sound too hard! I'll do it when I have time."
After meeting with the Empress, Yuder went to Kanna as he had intended and requested that she keep an eye on those around them. This was the first proper conversation they had had since the party, as both had been occupied with their respective duties. Kanna still didn't come too close to him, but her demeanor had improved significantly compared to before the party.
"If it becomes too difficult, don't push yourself. Just stop and let me know."
"It should be fine. I've been training really, really hard these days to control my abilities. I've practiced prioritizing essential information, so this will be a good test."
"Is that because of me?"
"..."
Kanna smiled awkwardly in the silence. There was no answer, but her silence was affirmation enough.
"I've been curious because I didn't get to hear properly before... what exactly did you read from me?"
Exhaling deeply, Yuder asked earnestly. He wasn't overly concerned, judging by what he had heard before; it didn't seem like she had read anything about his past life. Nonetheless, he didn't want to be the reason for her struggle.
"Uh... would it be okay if I didn't say?"
"Why?"
"Well... people say that to maintain a good relationship for a long time, it's important to keep a certain distance. Since this happened due to my lack of control, it's better to bury it and move on rather than make both of us uncomfortable... that's what I thought."
That Kanna would suggest moving on without discussing it indicated just how sensitive the issue must be.
Upon noticing Kanna's cheeks growing increasingly flushed as the topic progressed, Yuder decided it would be best to postpone uncovering the truth behind the matter.
"Fine. If it's that uncomfortable for you, we'll move on for now. But since this also involves me, I'll need to know eventually. You can't just bury it and move on alone."
"Ah, right! By the way, did anything happen when you visited the Empress yesterday? I wanted to ask that first but completely forgot. Silly me."
Kanna awkwardly and abruptly shifted the topic.
Gently looking at her, Yuder obliged her with an answer.
"Nothing special happened."
"Did she not call you to reprimand you for what happened at the party?"
It seemed like Kanna was harboring the suspicion that the Empress had summoned Yuder to scold him for the events at the party.
"She didn't mention that day at all."
"Then what did you discuss?"
"She was curious about what I'd been up to before and after joining the Cavalry, so I told her."
There were also discussions about the Emperor's health and about Kishiar, but those were subjects he couldn't share with Kanna. Instead, Yuder glossed over those details with a simple statement.
"Having the Commander with me meant I hardly had to speak."
"...Ah, ah, I see. So, it wasn't just you; the Commander was with you as well... Discussing you..."
"Discussing me among other things."
"Other things..."
For some reason, Kanna's words dwindled sharply. To reassure her, Yuder mentioned that he had also received a small gift from the Empress. Naturally, what came to mind next was the most striking part of the conversation he had with the Empress and Kishiar that day.
'Imperial Heir.'
In an era where many things were changing rapidly, it was crucial who would lead the nation. Nelarn, who had the opportunity to grow faster by obtaining a faster-winning Heir than in his previous life, was a prime example.
'It took less than five years for Nelarn to dominate the small countries in the west in my previous life. Things can only be the same or better now, as no disasters have occurred yet.'
It was welcome news that Emperor Keilusa seemed to be considering switching his successor from Katchian to Kishiar, at least from the standpoint of someone who had already seen the future. But what about Kishiar himself?
When he heard those words, Kishiar did not make his intentions clear and moved on. However, the response that questioned whether he was no longer the Duke of Peletta could be interpreted as leaning more towards denial than affirmation.
But if Kishiar were open to becoming the Imperial Heir...
If the day comes when he wishes for it...
Ejain, who had survived tough times, enduring attacks from his late father and his brothers, eventually succeeded in toppling all of his siblings and seized the throne. Would it be more difficult for Kishiar to become the Imperial Heir?
'If we proceed with Katchian and Diarca unharmed, there could be a situation close to civil unrest...'
It was not impossible if laws were ignored and only brute force was applied. That was Yuder's assessment. However, there was an important point missing.
The path of change shown by Kishiar and Emperor Keilusa may seem frustrating, but for the most part, they chose methods that would cause the least amount of bloodshed among ordinary imperial citizens.
By that standard, the just-considered approach of ignoring the law and pushing through with force alone was impossible.
'Victories obtained through bloodshed are hard to recognize. If you're prepared to see the opponent's blood, you must also be prepared to shed your own.'
Yuder's eyes, which had turned cold for a moment, returned to their usual state. Ultimately, what was most important to him was Kishiar's own will. There was no need to jump ahead now.
