Yuder had been embraced by Kishiar in various ways before, but this hug was a first. The man who held Yuder so tightly that it was hard to breathe kept his head bowed and his eyes closed for a long time, saying nothing.
In the silence, which was like boiling water without a sound, the thumping of the other's heart reverberated loudly in their ears through their bodies pressed together. Yuder carefully lifted his hand, which had been hanging by his side, and placed it on the other's back.
Finally, as the two became as one like a single tree, Kishiar spoke.
"There are many things I want to say, but no words can fully convey what I'm feeling right now."
"…"
Thank you.
The emotion felt stronger, flowing through their skin rather than words. Unknowingly, Yuder's fingers twitched in response to the emotion that seemed to resonate from his head to his toes.
He had successfully completed countless missions and accomplished many tasks that were generally considered impossible. Yet he rarely felt any vain emotions like pride or satisfaction. Yuder Aile's longstanding habit and nature were to think calmly about the next, more difficult challenge rather than basking in the satisfaction of what he had done. Even just a moment ago, hadn't he been contemplating the weight of future tasks while watching the Empress's emotions and tears?
So the joy bubbling up from within felt somewhat unfamiliar and awkward to him.
What is this emotion, for something that was just a job that had to be done? The mountain that must be crossed still looms too high and perilous; it's too early to be at ease.
Yet, when he looked at Kishiar, who laid bare his suppressed emotions the moment they were alone, Yuder felt that this couldn't be helped. Unless one is a rock, how could one not feel anything? If the person here wasn't Yuder but someone else, the laughter tinged with various emotions would undoubtedly stir something within them as well.
"Are you alright?"
"As you can see, I'm fine."
"You were badly bruised."
"It wasn't too painful... A bit tiring, but rest will fix it."
"Good... That's a relief."
Indeed, it's a relief. Kishiar softly muttered as he laid his forehead against Yuder's hair, sniffing lightly at the tips before finally letting go.
"Shall we go, then?"
As it turned out, the carriage bound for their palace had been waiting at the back door for some time. The waiting attendants and coachmen led them quietly, showing no surprise at their delayed appearance.
"Please, Your Highness."
Their destination, cloaked in darkness, was a small palace far from the Sun Palace. Aged attendants, whose faces were familiar from previous meetings, greeted Kishiar and Yuder with bright smiles.
"We heard you would stay after visiting His Majesty; do you require anything for your comfort? Bath and bedroom are ready."
"Accommodations are set; prepare warm medicinal tea with honey."
The palace had not changed since their last visit. Yuder came out after taking a shower, having pushed away Kishiar who had wanted to accompany him to the bathroom.
'I almost forgot where I am, he followed so naturally.'
This wasn't the Cavalry; this was where Kishiar had once been called Prince. Shouldn't he maintain at least some formality before attendants who had known Kishiar since childhood?
Yuder sipped the tea that the servants had lovingly prepared, as Kishiar had not yet emerged from the other bathroom. The original bitter taste was smoothly complemented by the sweetness of honey, immediately easing his tension. His stiff muscles momentarily relaxed, and a long breath escaped from him.
‘That's the bedroom where I stayed last time,’ Yuder thought, casting his gaze toward the distant entrance of the chamber. It was the very place where he had woken up for the first time after manifesting his second gender. At that time, he had no concerns, but now, knowing more about Kishiar, the three isolation barriers hidden there began to weigh on his mind.
They were false walls, designed to contain and isolate the overpoweringly strong power of a young prince, so it wouldn't affect the outside world. Considering Kishiar had likely spent a lot of time within those meticulously crafted barriers, Yuder felt decidedly dispirited. His mood darkened further when he recalled how Kishiar had once shrugged it off, as if talking about a childhood friend.
"Come to think of it, the place where the Emperor resides now didn't feel that different from that bedroom."
Kishiar had mentioned that more of such isolation barriers existed in various palaces within the Imperial compound. Yuder was fairly certain that one of those places was probably in the second palace of the Sun Palace, which served as both the Emperor's bedroom and office. Things he hadn't understood before were now coming into view.
"…"
Sipping his tea again, which he couldn't really taste anymore, Yuder looked around to clear his mind. The room where he sat was a private resting area, available only to the palace's owner. Even though Kishiar wasn't currently occupying the space, traces of his presence were evident in the furnishings and decorative items, which closely resembled those in his office room.
The space was not overly opulent, but it was intricate and elegant, mirroring the atmosphere of its owner. The paintings adorning the walls were mostly landscapes, capturing a broad spectrum of lights and colors, rather than portraits or still lifes.
"Could it be he likes landscapes because his mobility is restricted?"
"Ah, Lord Yuder, you're already here," a servant said as he entered with a tray. Setting down a small plate of cookies and cream, the man, who appeared to be of similar age to Emperor's chief steward Yuliver, gave a gentle smile.
"Is there something you were looking at? If you require anything, please feel free to ask."
"I was just looking at the paintings for a moment."
"Ah, if you're interested in art, we have a collection that His Highness, the Duke, accumulated while staying here. Would you like to go see it?"
Yuder was about to decline when the servant's next words made him change his mind.
"One of the portraits that His Highness drew during his stay at the palace is also displayed there. It's a space that has received endless praise from all who see it."
"…Which way is it?"
Setting down his cup, Yuder rose from his seat. The gallery displaying the artwork was located just next to the corridor beside the room where he had been sitting. It was a practical use of a space that lacked windows and natural light.
It was a beautiful place, but Yuder's eyes barely lingered on the other paintings and artworks. His focus was on a rather striking portrait.
"This is…"
He instantly recognized the boy in the painting. The young man, who captured attention with his golden locks, sat emotionless on a chair.
His cheeks were alabaster, radiant precisely because of their youthful immaturity. Even as a young boy, his well-formed features prevented him from looking completely frail; they were just as they had always been. Although the boy prince in the painting wore no special clothes or jewels, he was so regal and beautiful that he could blind the eye. Somehow, perhaps due to the absence of a smile, he seemed like a fleeting existence.
Never had he thought that he would encounter this face here—the one that Emperor Katchian had burned beyond recognition in his previous life. Memories surfaced of times in Tainu when he'd been curious about what Kishiar's childhood might have been like, and the sensation was deeply strange.
In any case, the young Kishiar in the painting was far more remarkable than Yuder had ever vaguely imagined.
"...That painting was created just before His Highness, the Duke, left for Peletta upon receiving his title. At the time, the court painter, Lord Elmert, prepared the painting. He doubted his own skill and was so tormented that he fainted five times while making it," the servant who had been attending to Yuder explained in a soft voice.
"But in the end, it became a portrait that everyone could admire. Had it been released to the public, it might have been considered Elmert's masterpiece, even more representative than 'Afternoon in the Meadows Palace.'"
"I see."
He didn't know much about the name of the painter, but he clearly understood that the painting depicted Kishiar at the time he had just become the Duke of Peletta.
'So he was even younger than I thought.'
It was a time when one should know nothing of the world's troubles. Yet, not a trace of laughter could be seen in the eyes of the boy in the painting. Was it because he was already aware of the destiny that awaited him, far away?
Yuder stared long and hard into the distant past of Kishiar La Orr he did not know.
He stood almost absorbed in the painting until a chilly fragrance enveloped him.
"So you're here."
Yuder had been embraced by Kishiar in various ways before, but this hug was a first. The man who held Yuder so tightly that it was hard to breathe kept his head bowed and his eyes closed for a long time, saying nothing.
In the silence, which was like boiling water without a sound, the thumping of the other's heart reverberated loudly in their ears through their bodies pressed together. Yuder carefully lifted his hand, which had been hanging by his side, and placed it on the other's back.
Finally, as the two became as one like a single tree, Kishiar spoke.
"There are many things I want to say, but no words can fully convey what I'm feeling right now."
"…"
Thank you.
The emotion felt stronger, flowing through their skin rather than words. Unknowingly, Yuder's fingers twitched in response to the emotion that seemed to resonate from his head to his toes.
He had successfully completed countless missions and accomplished many tasks that were generally considered impossible. Yet he rarely felt any vain emotions like pride or satisfaction. Yuder Aile's longstanding habit and nature were to think calmly about the next, more difficult challenge rather than basking in the satisfaction of what he had done. Even just a moment ago, hadn't he been contemplating the weight of future tasks while watching the Empress's emotions and tears?
So the joy bubbling up from within felt somewhat unfamiliar and awkward to him.
What is this emotion, for something that was just a job that had to be done? The mountain that must be crossed still looms too high and perilous; it's too early to be at ease.
Yet, when he looked at Kishiar, who laid bare his suppressed emotions the moment they were alone, Yuder felt that this couldn't be helped. Unless one is a rock, how could one not feel anything? If the person here wasn't Yuder but someone else, the laughter tinged with various emotions would undoubtedly stir something within them as well.
"Are you alright?"
"As you can see, I'm fine."
"You were badly bruised."
"It wasn't too painful... A bit tiring, but rest will fix it."
"Good... That's a relief."
Indeed, it's a relief. Kishiar softly muttered as he laid his forehead against Yuder's hair, sniffing lightly at the tips before finally letting go.
"Shall we go, then?"
As it turned out, the carriage bound for their palace had been waiting at the back door for some time. The waiting attendants and coachmen led them quietly, showing no surprise at their delayed appearance.
"Please, Your Highness."
Their destination, cloaked in darkness, was a small palace far from the Sun Palace. Aged attendants, whose faces were familiar from previous meetings, greeted Kishiar and Yuder with bright smiles.
"We heard you would stay after visiting His Majesty; do you require anything for your comfort? Bath and bedroom are ready."
"Accommodations are set; prepare warm medicinal tea with honey."
The palace had not changed since their last visit. Yuder came out after taking a shower, having pushed away Kishiar who had wanted to accompany him to the bathroom.
'I almost forgot where I am, he followed so naturally.'
This wasn't the Cavalry; this was where Kishiar had once been called Prince. Shouldn't he maintain at least some formality before attendants who had known Kishiar since childhood?
Yuder sipped the tea that the servants had lovingly prepared, as Kishiar had not yet emerged from the other bathroom. The original bitter taste was smoothly complemented by the sweetness of honey, immediately easing his tension. His stiff muscles momentarily relaxed, and a long breath escaped from him.
‘That's the bedroom where I stayed last time,’ Yuder thought, casting his gaze toward the distant entrance of the chamber. It was the very place where he had woken up for the first time after manifesting his second gender. At that time, he had no concerns, but now, knowing more about Kishiar, the three isolation barriers hidden there began to weigh on his mind.
They were false walls, designed to contain and isolate the overpoweringly strong power of a young prince, so it wouldn't affect the outside world. Considering Kishiar had likely spent a lot of time within those meticulously crafted barriers, Yuder felt decidedly dispirited. His mood darkened further when he recalled how Kishiar had once shrugged it off, as if talking about a childhood friend.
"Come to think of it, the place where the Emperor resides now didn't feel that different from that bedroom."
Kishiar had mentioned that more of such isolation barriers existed in various palaces within the Imperial compound. Yuder was fairly certain that one of those places was probably in the second palace of the Sun Palace, which served as both the Emperor's bedroom and office. Things he hadn't understood before were now coming into view.
"…"
Sipping his tea again, which he couldn't really taste anymore, Yuder looked around to clear his mind. The room where he sat was a private resting area, available only to the palace's owner. Even though Kishiar wasn't currently occupying the space, traces of his presence were evident in the furnishings and decorative items, which closely resembled those in his office room.
The space was not overly opulent, but it was intricate and elegant, mirroring the atmosphere of its owner. The paintings adorning the walls were mostly landscapes, capturing a broad spectrum of lights and colors, rather than portraits or still lifes.
"Could it be he likes landscapes because his mobility is restricted?"
"Ah, Lord Yuder, you're already here," a servant said as he entered with a tray. Setting down a small plate of cookies and cream, the man, who appeared to be of similar age to Emperor's chief steward Yuliver, gave a gentle smile.
"Is there something you were looking at? If you require anything, please feel free to ask."
"I was just looking at the paintings for a moment."
"Ah, if you're interested in art, we have a collection that His Highness, the Duke, accumulated while staying here. Would you like to go see it?"
Yuder was about to decline when the servant's next words made him change his mind.
"One of the portraits that His Highness drew during his stay at the palace is also displayed there. It's a space that has received endless praise from all who see it."
"…Which way is it?"
Setting down his cup, Yuder rose from his seat. The gallery displaying the artwork was located just next to the corridor beside the room where he had been sitting. It was a practical use of a space that lacked windows and natural light.
It was a beautiful place, but Yuder's eyes barely lingered on the other paintings and artworks. His focus was on a rather striking portrait.
"This is…"
He instantly recognized the boy in the painting. The young man, who captured attention with his golden locks, sat emotionless on a chair.
His cheeks were alabaster, radiant precisely because of their youthful immaturity. Even as a young boy, his well-formed features prevented him from looking completely frail; they were just as they had always been. Although the boy prince in the painting wore no special clothes or jewels, he was so regal and beautiful that he could blind the eye. Somehow, perhaps due to the absence of a smile, he seemed like a fleeting existence.
Never had he thought that he would encounter this face here—the one that Emperor Katchian had burned beyond recognition in his previous life. Memories surfaced of times in Tainu when he'd been curious about what Kishiar's childhood might have been like, and the sensation was deeply strange.
In any case, the young Kishiar in the painting was far more remarkable than Yuder had ever vaguely imagined.
"...That painting was created just before His Highness, the Duke, left for Peletta upon receiving his title. At the time, the court painter, Lord Elmert, prepared the painting. He doubted his own skill and was so tormented that he fainted five times while making it," the servant who had been attending to Yuder explained in a soft voice.
"But in the end, it became a portrait that everyone could admire. Had it been released to the public, it might have been considered Elmert's masterpiece, even more representative than 'Afternoon in the Meadows Palace.'"
"I see."
He didn't know much about the name of the painter, but he clearly understood that the painting depicted Kishiar at the time he had just become the Duke of Peletta.
'So he was even younger than I thought.'
It was a time when one should know nothing of the world's troubles. Yet, not a trace of laughter could be seen in the eyes of the boy in the painting. Was it because he was already aware of the destiny that awaited him, far away?
Yuder stared long and hard into the distant past of Kishiar La Orr he did not know.
He stood almost absorbed in the painting until a chilly fragrance enveloped him.
"So you're here."
