Chapter 128: 128
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At his confession, I almost give a little laugh. Not out of spite, or disbelief, but from the sheer amazement of hearing those words come out of his mouth. I have heard him say that he loves me before- between passionate kisses or lying in his bed after a steamy night of sex. But each of those times had the foreboding weight of my identity strapped under it, the fear that as soon as my true self would be revealed, it would strip down his love for me to its bear bones, crumbling it to dust.
The fact that that is not the case... well its certainly a shock to the system.
Upon seeing the slight smile upon my face, Soren frowns deeply.
"You mock my love for you?"
I shake my head frantically, bringing up my hands in denial.
"No, no! Sorry, I was just thinking about things, how it all worked out. I just... wasn't expecting it to go like this. I thought you would hate me," I admit, finally bringing my hands to rest in my lap defeatedly. Sliding his fingers over my skin, Soren brings a reassuring hand to my arm, rubbing in soothing circles over my skin.
"Oh darling, I could never hate you. True, before, I was empty, void and null, an emotionless killer, a prince of blood and scarlet reign. I now realise a life like that is not a life worth living, an existence without love is a pitiful one at best, something that many of my kind never truly come to realise. I didn't feel, I didn't care, and I took for my own taking and never any others," he runs a hand through his hair and brings himself upright to look at me fully. Despite the earnest in his voice, I scoff.
"You still do, you cold blooded monster," I tease, screwing my nose up at him.
"Ha ha, very funny, Serena," he mutters, rolling his eyes, but a faint smile catches on his lips. He gives me a gentle squeeze on my arm, followed by an affectionate brush of his lips against my jaw. I sigh. Good, so he is not angry then.
There is a small relief that floods through me at the light-headedness of the manner between us, as if my teasing mockery had somehow plastered that gaping hole of resentment and anger that had laid waste to my heart. I offer him up a small smile. Carefully, Soren brings himself around to kneel in front of me, sliding his hands into my own and giving a tentative squeeze.
"Perhaps, yes. Maybe I am still a bit of a monster, and true I tend to have some brutal punishments in my court, but it is all for the best. But that is not the point. Because I met you, truly met you when you walked right into my palace like it was yours and not mine. Flaunting yourself brazenly about as if a world of teeth and fangs and blood didn't scare you in the least. You made my breath stop so many times over I have lost count by now- you truly are the most enchanting creature I have ever met. Of course, back then, it was obvious to me very quickly that you had not felt the bond, so I deigned to play with you a bit, see how close you would let me get before you would bite. As feisty and cheeky as you are, little dove, it was always quite the pleasure teasing you."
Folding my arms, I grumble something under my breath. Soren raises an inquisitive brow, his teeth flashing behind his lips.
"What was that?" he asks teasingly, offering me a lopsided grin as he squeezes my hands once more. I grumble my response again.
"Could have told me about all this. I have been left in the dark for ages you know. Wondering whether each day might be my last. Whether you would accept me, trying to work up the courage to tell you who I am, what I am. I was terrified, Soren. Of what you would make of me. I was terrified of losing you. And to think you have been hiding this from me for weeks, months, even years if that truly counts, then, well, I don't know what to say to you. I just wish you would have said something. Maybe then we could have avoided all... all this," I say, gesturing around me, to the empty garden and the bright rays of twilight that snake down from beneath the trees. For a second I think about gesturing to myself to, to the horns on my head and the fangs in my mouth, but after a little more deliberation I decide against it. What use would that be- aside from to stir things up more?
After watching me for a few seconds longer, Soren shakes his head solemnly.
"I realise what I did was wrong in many respects. And I know too well the pain and fear you went through each night- I felt it as if it were my own. But the truth of the matter was that even I had to be careful, to avoid spilling any secrets that might cause the palace to crumble into ruins. Rumours spread fast in Sezeria, faster than the wind, faster than thought. If I admitted to you from the very beginning that I knew what you were, there would be no telling who else would hear. And besides that, you wouldn't have believed me- you were stubborn that way. Ever since you got here you never trusted a word I said to you. Rightly so, but my point remains. I could have told you to your face that you were an angel, and you would have spun out every lie under the sun just to deny it."
"Yeah well, coming from a clan of angels with a millennia's worth of misgiving for your kind, and especially for you, you have to give me some slack. I can't go around blindly trusting every good looking vampire I see, no matter how beautifully they wink at me," I grumble.
Purposely, Soren slinks his hand around my waist, a smug grin settling onto his handsome face. A faint breeze whisks up around us.
"Well, it might not make you trust me, but it certainly makes your heart beat wonderfully fast my darling," he adds, offering me a slow, very deliberate wink, his fingers slipping under the hem of my shirt with a sly intent, his golden eyes glowing seductively against the light of the stars. My face warms.
"You wish," I mutter, hiding the red flush of my cheeks behind my hands, desperate not to prove him right.
Yet still the fact remains: he is right, I wouldn't have trusted him. In fact, I would wager I wouldn't have believed him about anything at all. Coming into his Palace, everything felt like a death trap where my only tactic of getting out alive was to lie and not trust anyone. A moment of silence passes between us as I let the information settle in. Silence, and dread.
"Serena," he breathes at last, breath spiking the air in cold, billowing plumes as he turns to me fully now, eyes alight with a faint glow of eager curiosity. He slides a hand up my thigh, brushing up to linger on my waist, swirling gentle circles under my rib cage. "Let me take off your necklace, I want to see you."
I freeze. See me? Oh, he means...
"But Soren," I protest, shrinking back a bit into the darkness around us, hoping in vain it might hide me from his sight. "Surely now is not the time. If you know I am an angel, don't you want to know why I am here, why I am in your palace?"
He presses a finger tenderly to my lips to silence me.
"Tonight, I do not care. I have not endeavoured far enough into your mind to see past surface level thoughts, it always felt intrusive… wrong somehow. You will tell me these things when you are ready to, perhaps tomorrow, but I trust enough that your reasons will suffice."
My heart cracks with a sickening twang. Perhaps he has already figured out why I am here, or at least what I came for, indeed he might have even figured out what I am planning. Does this mean it is all for nothing? Or perhaps, just maybe, he knows why I am here, and is letting me carry out my plans. The thought it a hopeful one, but sometimes hope is all you can have.
"Please don't be afraid, Serena. I promise you, you have nothing to worry about."
It is a farfetched statement at best, yet there is no denying the earnest in his voice, the willingness, the trust he holds for me as he takes me into his arms, curling his fingertips into the base of my spine with such tender affection that I am compelled to voice:
"I love you, Soren."
His muffled laugh breathes wisps of air past my ears.
"Love is a fragile notion in terms of blood and war. No, tell me that I will not lose you, tell me that you will stay."
I bury my face into his shoulder, resting myself against the firm coldness of his body, my lifeline, my anchor against my worries and anxieties, so that as he holds me there, fingers trailing up my back to play with the looseness of my blouse against the wind, I feel my concerns melt away into the shimmering waters that twinkle below us.
"I will stay, I promise,"
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At his confession, I almost give a little laugh. Not out of spite, or disbelief, but from the sheer amazement of hearing those words come out of his mouth. I have heard him say that he loves me before- between passionate kisses or lying in his bed after a steamy night of sex. But each of those times had the foreboding weight of my identity strapped under it, the fear that as soon as my true self would be revealed, it would strip down his love for me to its bear bones, crumbling it to dust.
The fact that that is not the case... well its certainly a shock to the system.
Upon seeing the slight smile upon my face, Soren frowns deeply.
"You mock my love for you?"
I shake my head frantically, bringing up my hands in denial.
"No, no! Sorry, I was just thinking about things, how it all worked out. I just... wasn't expecting it to go like this. I thought you would hate me," I admit, finally bringing my hands to rest in my lap defeatedly. Sliding his fingers over my skin, Soren brings a reassuring hand to my arm, rubbing in soothing circles over my skin.
"Oh darling, I could never hate you. True, before, I was empty, void and null, an emotionless killer, a prince of blood and scarlet reign. I now realise a life like that is not a life worth living, an existence without love is a pitiful one at best, something that many of my kind never truly come to realise. I didn't feel, I didn't care, and I took for my own taking and never any others," he runs a hand through his hair and brings himself upright to look at me fully. Despite the earnest in his voice, I scoff.
"You still do, you cold blooded monster," I tease, screwing my nose up at him.
"Ha ha, very funny, Serena," he mutters, rolling his eyes, but a faint smile catches on his lips. He gives me a gentle squeeze on my arm, followed by an affectionate brush of his lips against my jaw. I sigh. Good, so he is not angry then.
There is a small relief that floods through me at the light-headedness of the manner between us, as if my teasing mockery had somehow plastered that gaping hole of resentment and anger that had laid waste to my heart. I offer him up a small smile. Carefully, Soren brings himself around to kneel in front of me, sliding his hands into my own and giving a tentative squeeze.
"Perhaps, yes. Maybe I am still a bit of a monster, and true I tend to have some brutal punishments in my court, but it is all for the best. But that is not the point. Because I met you, truly met you when you walked right into my palace like it was yours and not mine. Flaunting yourself brazenly about as if a world of teeth and fangs and blood didn't scare you in the least. You made my breath stop so many times over I have lost count by now- you truly are the most enchanting creature I have ever met. Of course, back then, it was obvious to me very quickly that you had not felt the bond, so I deigned to play with you a bit, see how close you would let me get before you would bite. As feisty and cheeky as you are, little dove, it was always quite the pleasure teasing you."
Folding my arms, I grumble something under my breath. Soren raises an inquisitive brow, his teeth flashing behind his lips.
"What was that?" he asks teasingly, offering me a lopsided grin as he squeezes my hands once more. I grumble my response again.
"Could have told me about all this. I have been left in the dark for ages you know. Wondering whether each day might be my last. Whether you would accept me, trying to work up the courage to tell you who I am, what I am. I was terrified, Soren. Of what you would make of me. I was terrified of losing you. And to think you have been hiding this from me for weeks, months, even years if that truly counts, then, well, I don't know what to say to you. I just wish you would have said something. Maybe then we could have avoided all... all this," I say, gesturing around me, to the empty garden and the bright rays of twilight that snake down from beneath the trees. For a second I think about gesturing to myself to, to the horns on my head and the fangs in my mouth, but after a little more deliberation I decide against it. What use would that be- aside from to stir things up more?
After watching me for a few seconds longer, Soren shakes his head solemnly.
"I realise what I did was wrong in many respects. And I know too well the pain and fear you went through each night- I felt it as if it were my own. But the truth of the matter was that even I had to be careful, to avoid spilling any secrets that might cause the palace to crumble into ruins. Rumours spread fast in Sezeria, faster than the wind, faster than thought. If I admitted to you from the very beginning that I knew what you were, there would be no telling who else would hear. And besides that, you wouldn't have believed me- you were stubborn that way. Ever since you got here you never trusted a word I said to you. Rightly so, but my point remains. I could have told you to your face that you were an angel, and you would have spun out every lie under the sun just to deny it."
"Yeah well, coming from a clan of angels with a millennia's worth of misgiving for your kind, and especially for you, you have to give me some slack. I can't go around blindly trusting every good looking vampire I see, no matter how beautifully they wink at me," I grumble.
Purposely, Soren slinks his hand around my waist, a smug grin settling onto his handsome face. A faint breeze whisks up around us.
"Well, it might not make you trust me, but it certainly makes your heart beat wonderfully fast my darling," he adds, offering me a slow, very deliberate wink, his fingers slipping under the hem of my shirt with a sly intent, his golden eyes glowing seductively against the light of the stars. My face warms.
"You wish," I mutter, hiding the red flush of my cheeks behind my hands, desperate not to prove him right.
Yet still the fact remains: he is right, I wouldn't have trusted him. In fact, I would wager I wouldn't have believed him about anything at all. Coming into his Palace, everything felt like a death trap where my only tactic of getting out alive was to lie and not trust anyone. A moment of silence passes between us as I let the information settle in. Silence, and dread.
"Serena," he breathes at last, breath spiking the air in cold, billowing plumes as he turns to me fully now, eyes alight with a faint glow of eager curiosity. He slides a hand up my thigh, brushing up to linger on my waist, swirling gentle circles under my rib cage. "Let me take off your necklace, I want to see you."
I freeze. See me? Oh, he means...
"But Soren," I protest, shrinking back a bit into the darkness around us, hoping in vain it might hide me from his sight. "Surely now is not the time. If you know I am an angel, don't you want to know why I am here, why I am in your palace?"
He presses a finger tenderly to my lips to silence me.
"Tonight, I do not care. I have not endeavoured far enough into your mind to see past surface level thoughts, it always felt intrusive… wrong somehow. You will tell me these things when you are ready to, perhaps tomorrow, but I trust enough that your reasons will suffice."
My heart cracks with a sickening twang. Perhaps he has already figured out why I am here, or at least what I came for, indeed he might have even figured out what I am planning. Does this mean it is all for nothing? Or perhaps, just maybe, he knows why I am here, and is letting me carry out my plans. The thought it a hopeful one, but sometimes hope is all you can have.
"Please don't be afraid, Serena. I promise you, you have nothing to worry about."
It is a farfetched statement at best, yet there is no denying the earnest in his voice, the willingness, the trust he holds for me as he takes me into his arms, curling his fingertips into the base of my spine with such tender affection that I am compelled to voice:
"I love you, Soren."
His muffled laugh breathes wisps of air past my ears.
"Love is a fragile notion in terms of blood and war. No, tell me that I will not lose you, tell me that you will stay."
I bury my face into his shoulder, resting myself against the firm coldness of his body, my lifeline, my anchor against my worries and anxieties, so that as he holds me there, fingers trailing up my back to play with the looseness of my blouse against the wind, I feel my concerns melt away into the shimmering waters that twinkle below us.
"I will stay, I promise,"
At his confession, I almost give a little laugh. Not out of spite, or disbelief, but from the sheer amazement of hearing those words come out of his mouth. I have heard him say that he loves me before- between passionate kisses or lying in his bed after a steamy night of sex. But each of those times had the foreboding weight of my identity strapped under it, the fear that as soon as my true self would be revealed, it would strip down his love for me to its bear bones, crumbling it to dust.The fact that that is not the case... well its certainly a shock to the system.Upon seeing the slight smile upon my face, Soren frowns deeply."You mock my love for you?"I shake my head frantically, bringing up my hands in denial."No, no! Sorry, I was just thinking about things, how it all worked out. I just... wasn't expecting it to go like this. I thought you would hate me," I admit, finally bringing my hands to rest in my lap defeatedly. Sliding his fingers over my skin, Soren brings a reassuring hand to my arm, rubbing in soothing circles over my skin."Oh darling, I could never hate you. True, before, I was empty, void and null, an emotionless killer, a prince of blood and scarlet reign. I now realise a life like that is not a life worth living, an existence without love is a pitiful one at best, something that many of my kind never truly come to realise. I didn't feel, I didn't care, and I took for my own taking and never any others," he runs a hand through his hair and brings himself upright to look at me fully. Despite the earnest in his voice, I scoff."You still do, you cold blooded monster," I tease, screwing my nose up at him. "Ha ha, very funny, Serena," he mutters, rolling his eyes, but a faint smile catches on his lips. He gives me a gentle squeeze on my arm, followed by an affectionate brush of his lips against my jaw. I sigh. Good, so he is not angry then.There is a small relief that floods through me at the light-headedness of the manner between us, as if my teasing mockery had somehow plastered that gaping hole of resentment and anger that had laid waste to my heart. I offer him up a small smile. Carefully, Soren brings himself around to kneel in front of me, sliding his hands into my own and giving a tentative squeeze."Perhaps, yes. Maybe I am still a bit of a monster, and true I tend to have some brutal punishments in my court, but it is all for the best. But that is not the point. Because I met you, truly met you when you walked right into my palace like it was yours and not mine. Flaunting yourself brazenly about as if a world of teeth and fangs and blood didn't scare you in the least. You made my breath stop so many times over I have lost count by now- you truly are the most enchanting creature I have ever met. Of course, back then, it was obvious to me very quickly that you had not felt the bond, so I deigned to play with you a bit, see how close you would let me get before you would bite. As feisty and cheeky as you are, little dove, it was always quite the pleasure teasing you."Folding my arms, I grumble something under my breath. Soren raises an inquisitive brow, his teeth flashing behind his lips."What was that?" he asks teasingly, offering me a lopsided grin as he squeezes my hands once more. I grumble my response again."Could have told me about all this. I have been left in the dark for ages you know. Wondering whether each day might be my last. Whether you would accept me, trying to work up the courage to tell you who I am, what I am. I was terrified, Soren. Of what you would make of me. I was terrified of losing you. And to think you have been hiding this from me for weeks, months, even years if that truly counts, then, well, I don't know what to say to you. I just wish you would have said something. Maybe then we could have avoided all... all this," I say, gesturing around me, to the empty garden and the bright rays of twilight that snake down from beneath the trees. For a second I think about gesturing to myself to, to the horns on my head and the fangs in my mouth, but after a little more deliberation I decide against it. What use would that be- aside from to stir things up more?After watching me for a few seconds longer, Soren shakes his head solemnly."I realise what I did was wrong in many respects. And I know too well the pain and fear you went through each night- I felt it as if it were my own. But the truth of the matter was that even I had to be careful, to avoid spilling any secrets that might cause the palace to crumble into ruins. Rumours spread fast in Sezeria, faster than the wind, faster than thought. If I admitted to you from the very beginning that I knew what you were, there would be no telling who else would hear. And besides that, you wouldn't have believed me- you were stubborn that way. Ever since you got here you never trusted a word I said to you. Rightly so, but my point remains. I could have told you to your face that you were an angel, and you would have spun out every lie under the sun just to deny it.""Yeah well, coming from a clan of angels with a millennia's worth of misgiving for your kind, and especially for you, you have to give me some slack. I can't go around blindly trusting every good looking vampire I see, no matter how beautifully they wink at me," I grumble. Purposely, Soren slinks his hand around my waist, a smug grin settling onto his handsome face. A faint breeze whisks up around us."Well, it might not make you trust me, but it certainly makes your heart beat wonderfully fast my darling," he adds, offering me a slow, very deliberate wink, his fingers slipping under the hem of my shirt with a sly intent, his golden eyes glowing seductively against the light of the stars. My face warms."You wish," I mutter, hiding the red flush of my cheeks behind my hands, desperate not to prove him right.Yet still the fact remains: he is right, I wouldn't have trusted him. In fact, I would wager I wouldn't have believed him about anything at all. Coming into his Palace, everything felt like a death trap where my only tactic of getting out alive was to lie and not trust anyone. A moment of silence passes between us as I let the information settle in. Silence, and dread."Serena," he breathes at last, breath spiking the air in cold, billowing plumes as he turns to me fully now, eyes alight with a faint glow of eager curiosity. He slides a hand up my thigh, brushing up to linger on my waist, swirling gentle circles under my rib cage. "Let me take off your necklace, I want to see you." I freeze. See me? Oh, he means..."But Soren," I protest, shrinking back a bit into the darkness around us, hoping in vain it might hide me from his sight. "Surely now is not the time. If you know I am an angel, don't you want to know why I am here, why I am in your palace?"He presses a finger tenderly to my lips to silence me."Tonight, I do not care. I have not endeavoured far enough into your mind to see past surface level thoughts, it always felt intrusive wrong somehow. You will tell me these things when you are ready to, perhaps tomorrow, but I trust enough that your reasons will suffice."My heart cracks with a sickening twang. Perhaps he has already figured out why I am here, or at least what I came for, indeed he might have even figured out what I am planning. Does this mean it is all for nothing? Or perhaps, just maybe, he knows why I am here, and is letting me carry out my plans. The thought it a hopeful one, but sometimes hope is all you can have."Please don't be afraid, Serena. I promise you, you have nothing to worry about."It is a farfetched statement at best, yet there is no denying the earnest in his voice, the willingness, the trust he holds for me as he takes me into his arms, curling his fingertips into the base of my spine with such tender affection that I am compelled to voice:"I love you, Soren." His muffled laugh breathes wisps of air past my ears."Love is a fragile notion in terms of blood and war. No, tell me that I will not lose you, tell me that you will stay."I bury my face into his shoulder, resting myself against the firm coldness of his body, my lifeline, my anchor against my worries and anxieties, so that as he holds me there, fingers trailing up my back to play with the looseness of my blouse against the wind, I feel my concerns melt away into the shimmering waters that twinkle below us."I will stay, I promise,"
